Love and Hip Hop ATLANTA - Season 3 Pre ROAST! Unreleased Season 2 Reunion - Review, Recap, Opinion
Warning, if you are sensitive to Rat roasting, do not read on! Readers discretion is strongly advised!
I was gonna review the Reunion show of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Season 2, however, my review turned into a massacre! I couldn't finish reviewing the show because I was seeing red! I decided to just go off in general. I wrote, saved and never published nor made a video for the following entry back in August of 2013.
I had to stop myself because the second Season of Love of Atlanta bored me to ad nauseum!
Joseline's accent and just, everything about the show was friggin ridiculous!
Now remember, this has been minimally edited. And it is a short, unfinished entry.
Before I even get into this. I tried to do reviews and recaps of
the individual episodes. But I was just too bored by the show to do it.
Let me take a crack at this!
Excuse me if I come across as grumpy. But
the phoniness and nastiness of these, "ratchet", people disturbs me!
This is what I wrote!
___________________________________________________________
So, the minstrel show begins, and after an introduction to all of these irrelevant nobodies. We learn that Rasheeda and and her cone headed husband, Kirk are having a little boy. Named Carter Frost. And I thought to myself, "wait a minute, isn't a cart of frost an ice cream truck?"
Random thought, I know!
Anyway!
Oprah Winfart, I mean Mona Scott, asks pretentious gold digger, Oluremi Fela Faust aka Mimi about her new breast implants. I saw what she looked like before the operation. And to be honest, I wasn't impressed at all. Not even a little tit! I mean a little bit! Anyway, she asks Mimi about her boobs and an argument ensued between Mimi and Joseline, who I affectionately refer to as GonorrRhianna! Because she looks like Rhianna and Gonorrhea blended together!
They were calling each other all kinds of nasty names. And you know what though? Mimi isn't shit but old trash, in a plastic Louis Vuitton bag. This chick is like almost half way through her forties, doing young dumb bitch shit.
Why?
Because she's stupid! She wants to be a God damned Bourgeoisie, hood rat.
She wants a "bad bitch" lifestyle and reputation, while living it up! She wants it all! But she's not really about that life. She's fart in a can! Because she's faking the funk!
The only reason why all of Mimi's friends appear to be humungous pieces of shit is because. Mimi is like, that girl who picks really shitty men to be in a relationship with on purpose! You know, so people will say, "you can do better Mimi". In other words, as long as Mimi isn't, or doesn't appear to be the biggest piece of shit in the room, then she's good!
Fucking starving con artist! You're not fooling anybody! HA HA!
Her name is Mimi right? How fucking ironic! In her mind the world revolves around her twice. Therefore her name is ME ME!
It's all about her!
Moving along!
There's main chicks, side chicks and then, theirs Traci's! And that's the chick that the guy doesn't even want at all! Not because you're a "strong black", cup of coffee! Not because of your education, your wealth, or success. No! Because of your negative qualities. Such as but not limited to. Snide remarks out of jealousy and ignorance towards women that you don't even know. And your magnetism to all things inferior.
Traci being known for saying, "popcorn hoes" is like Beyonce's entry in the dictionary for the word, "bootylicious". It's sad! And as a mother and a woman of melanin. Please grow the fuck up!
But back to Mimi! Mimi is like Christmas shopping at the dollar store. You're just doing what you gotta do until you can do better.
As a matter of fact. Mimi needs to take a yoga class. So she can pull her legs over her head and get over herself.
Champagne taste with a kool aid face bitch! She really thinks that she is so much better than everybody!I can't stand MimI!
_________________________________________________________________________
And yeah. I had to stop it there before someone shoots at me!
As you can see, the show pissed me off so badly that I turned green! And at this point I was trying to watch what I say on video.
This was right before I became the monster of a reviewer that I am! HA HA HA HA HA!
Now it's gloves off and no holds bar, UFC style reviews!
Season 3 of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is coming. And I'm coming on it!
Yeah! I'm gonna bust nuts in the faces of your favorite cast members! Better have towel a Joseline! I heard you say in your Breakfast Club interview that you don't swallow! No wonder you're so unhappy! A little vitamin C never hurt anybody! And when I say Vitamin C. I mean Vitamin Cum!
So hinge your Jaw back Joseline! I'm about to blow... all down your throat!
I'll see you next Season for the next review! Today is March 20, 2014. So, I wrote that unfinished review about 7 months ago! So don't judge me!
Don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more celebrity, and Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words,
tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Basketball Wives | LA | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out with Jackie and Brittish, and the're looking at an office space for loveoflabels.com
You know, Brittish's crappy website?
With a F rating from the Better Business Bureau!
And just like Draya's Vagina, it's a shared space! You see, that office is one of those buildings where your business rents a tiny space, and others businesses rent right next to you! And you're all up in each others business and personal space. It's like working in a cubicle, but with 1 wall instead of 3! Around a bunch of strangers!
And homeless flashers!
It's actually less of an office space and more of an off space. As in off in a corner somewhere!
Man, Brittish does everything low budget!
The 3 best parts of this scene are #1 When Jackie said that Brittish wouldn't want to hire B.A.M.! Brandi and Ariane and Malaysia to work for her scammy company. Because Jackies old gang, "The Jackets" weren't representing that flag right! And when I say, "flag". I mean their trusty symbol. The blood soaked tampon! BANG BANG!
Jackie had to kick those 3 Bandita's out for not following protocol! So she gave them a bad recommendation!
#2
Brittish said that Malaysia isn't all of that pretty and her body isn't all of that great either! LMAO! And this came out of the mouth of a chick that looks like Barney the dinosaur! Literally. That Tyranna whoress-rex need to find a cliff and take a seat.
#3
And possibly the craziest thing anybody said this whole show was thrown out in scene one! Jackie said that Draya's vagina is like an empty soda can. It's been reduced, reused and recycled. And Crushed! And at the end of the day, it's only worth 5 cents! *SPITS OUT WATER*
And to make matters worse! She said, "you cant make a Draya a house wife!"
And when I say a Draya, yes I mean a hoe! And yes she really said that!
Now we're catching up with Draya, and Malaysia at Slim Wrap! The Wrap That Works! And Draya is dressed up as a cummy, a cum covered mummy! I wonder if they warned miss Bukkake that if you get covered with man milk then wrap yourself in bandages you'll never get them off! Without losing all of your skin! But I'm sure a rich man has a fetish for that too!
Any who! Malaysia looks yummy because she's so delicious! Boy I'd stick my cock in her pit and smash Malaysia like flight MH370!
So, Draya didn't go to Jackies homo event because Jackie pissed her off! And Draya prefers to be pissed on! She said Jackie needs to get better aim when squatting!
And with that said. I was wondering why they were talking like they don't have good sense. Then I realized something! They're Dehydrated from being in bandages while working out on those stupid Ellipticals.
I knew the conversation between these birds went south with when Malaysia was like, "Girl! You look like a Kemetic, Egyptian queen, with your breast out, and being all mummified like that!"
Draya was like, "Which Egyptian queen do I look like?".
Malaysia said, "Queen Nefer-titty!"
In our next scene Malaysia is visiting Brandi And come to find out, they've known each other since Brandi was balled headed as a fuck, and dying from cancer. So, they're reminiscing about when Brandi was sick. And she had this one doctor who would always make her laugh. He would tell really lewd jokes and make fun of her cancer and call her racist names.
Some of his favorites were. Erykah Bald do! Shaolin Monkey, oh and of course
Sinead O'Colored.
You know? Anything to make a bald headed black woman smile! He had a fetish for the brownies so. He told Brandi about some fucked up fantasy about wanting to ejaculate on her head when...
Malaysia stopped her from talking and said, "Girl! That's T.M.I.!"
And Brandi is like, "Girl! I hate their news stories!"
And Malaysia is like, "Bitch, that's TMZ! T.M.I. means Too Much Information!"
And then Brandi was like, "Girl, I thought 411 information was long gone! We have Google nowadays!"
Then Malaysia said, "Girl, bye!"
Now Jackie is meeting up with her Illuminati connection.
Because she wants to sell her own brand of Cognac. So, she brought Sundy with her to tag along and learn how to be a true member of the Jackets Gang! Mmm, Hmm Sundy is a 1st degree Jacket! I heard their secret password is "Turkey Neck!"
Come to find out, the dude from the Cognac business is named Hakop Bislamyan! At first, I thought that he was the dude that took down the Twin Towers. Then I looked his name up on the, "MEET Magazine Language Translator"™ and it's Persian or Iranian, not Iraqi! . The English Translation for Hakop Bislamyan is, "When black people get the hiccups, the only thing that can stop it is candied yams" And I was like, cool! Now that's an awesome name! He must not be a racist!
If we had any doubts that Sundy is a hood rat. The Goddess of Ghetto did not disappoint us in this scene!
The hood came out when Sundy asked this question. She asked Hiccup, what Cognac was!
Or in her ghetto language, she pronounced Cognac (Con Yak) as Con Jack!
Hikap *Hiccup* said that Cognac is in the Brandy family!
And Sundy replied, "Ray-J better".
So Hiccup was like, *Hiccup* what do you mean?"
And Jackie was like, "No Sundy, Brandy is an Alcohol!"
And Sundy was like, "I bet you wouldn't call Brandy a Alcohol to her face! Especially if she's driving at you!"
SWERVE!
So, they had a taste test of different Cognac blends or whatever. Wait! Did I say taste test? They had a drinking contest! I don't know what Hikap *Hiccup* was thinking giving free liquor to hood rats.
Because these chikas were skunk as a drunk! I mean, drunk as a skunk!
I'm talking tipsy as a 3 legged table, with Brittish dancing on it!
When they were done the were walking as wobbly as Draya leaving a locker room!
So they have to come up with a catchy name for Jackies new drink. And drunk Sundy was throwing out some of the dumbest shit like, LL Cool Jack! And ConJacky Chan and KanJack West! And Jackies and *Hiccup*, almost had a Kevin Hart-aJack (Heart-Attack)
"You gon learn today!"
Now we're with Lorenzo and Brittish. And Lorenzo is at beating his meat so hard, the juice from his balls is squirting out of his asshole! And Brittish walks up and catches him!
So, Lorenzo closes his bubble butt porn on his laptop!
And his agent, Micheal Hart must be psychic! He always knows when Lorenzo is looking at porn and when he calls, he always uses the same lame joke. So, Lorenzo answers the phone and Micheal's like! "What are you doing Lorenzo? Beating around the bush" Ha ha ha! Wooo! Get it? Because Lorenzo was just beating around the bush! See, he was masturbating, and he doesn't shave down there so. HA HA! HA! Yeah! Michael Hart should leave comedy alone and just be an agent!
Anyway! Lorenzo is determined to make this Basket Ball money! Even if he has to leave the country again! Or as half breed Draya would say, "Sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do. Even if you were born a half a Jew! In other words. No one get s a free ride!"
And when I say ride, I mean riding the penis! Draya's motto since she start hooking was, "There's no animal shelter between these thighs! You gotta pay for this pussy!"
So Brandi and Malaysia get together, and they looking amazing! Their hair is looking magnificent. Outfits looking cute. In fact, Brandi's is dress is so nice that if I saw her person wearing that dress, I'd act like a cop at Barney's in Jew York City, and ask her if it's stolen! And yes, because she's black! Then I'd stop and frisk her!
Anyways! The pretty girls are going to BESO! Which is the Spanish word for "Kiss!"
And boy would I love to Beso Draya's cola!
So, Sundy, left early from her job, and judging by her outfit and height. She must be a Horse Jockey! Any who, she came to talk with the Weave Tang Clan!
Brandi said that she comes across as a Bourgeois bitch! But she's not! She's just a regular BETA bitch!
And Sundy, the alpha Bitch invites the girls to go race car driving. Because she knows a guy in the mob that can rig the car to detonate on ignition!
But they know how Philly bitches get down! So, they didn't fall for that Jawn!
And to no ones surprise Malaysia is not feeling Brittish! And no! I don't mean that she has disdain for the chubby girl Brittish! When I say she aint feeling Britihs, I mean she isn't speaking in her British accent this episode. And she didn't even eat her English muffin for breakfast either!
Now we're visiting the Lexington Social House, with Brandi and Jason Maxiell.
He's going away to play Black ball. But Brandi's creepy, perverted, serial killer looking white Dr. will be around to take GOOD care of her!
And when they were at the OBGYN, Jason was given porn to masturbate to. So that he could produce some sperm samples. Brandi said that he was looking at the pictures that she gave to him, of herself instead of watching the porn!
Nah Brandi! He wasn't looking at you.
He was looking at Draya! Like the rest of us! Light skin for the win!
Now we're with Brittish and Lorenzo.
And Lorenzo is leaving to go play Black ball, just like Jason. But Brittish is staying behind.
So, Lorenzo's agent calls again! And this time he has good news and bad news.
The good news is, he has a contract to play in Europe. The bad news is, he needs him to leave tomorrow! And as expected Brittish doesn't want that L.I.P. to go away! You know L.I.P. Live In Penis!
And Lorenzo is dumb as fuck, he is trying to say to his wife. Everything will be fine, it's gonna be okay and he mumbles and stumbles just saying that! I'm now completely sure that he lied and he doesn't play basketball and plays football instead! You know in Europe they call it Rugby, and they don't wear helmets! Explains everything!
Now, Brandi, Malaysia and Draya, aka the pretty girls are shopping at Satine.
Draya says that she is done with Jackie. And she doesn't want to get into a fight with Brittish and mess up all of that pretty! Brandi says that the only remaining real issue between the ladies is the one between Draya and Jackie! And the Jackets gang, "The Jackets", has officially disbanded! Except Sundy and Brittish.
But it's all good. Because Brittish isn't even invited!
Draya brought up a great point! Those bitches got their name, "The Jackets," because just like O Shit's baby mother, on Black Ink Crew. They like to throw jackets on bitches heads, then beat them when they can't see! They said it's, "exciting",
In fact, it's just like fucking a blind chick! She can't see you coming! Literally and figuratively!
Damn you Draya for judging other peoples fetishes!
Brandi is like, let's just give them one more chance. And Draya's all like, "Ain't no body trying to listen to Biggie right now!" Brandi was confused, so, Malaysia told her, that Draya must still be hallucinating from the mummy wrap! And Brandy is so dumb she's like "You never told me your mom used to be a rapper!"
*SCOFFS* These bitches are so dumb!
Now Jackie and Sundy are chilling by the pool, with Brandi. And for whatever reason, Sundy is sitting up there looking like an elderly homeless smurf. I swear, she must shop at thrift shops. And I'm talking the Ill Will, not the Good Will!
Sundy told Jackie that they don't need to invite Brittish on their trip to Palm Springs California.
Because they're gonna be staying in same house and hanging out with each other. And tickling each other in bath suits, like girls do at times like these! And Sundy just wants some girl booty without the drama!
Smart girl!
Jackie wants Brittish to come because, she is her second chance at having a daughter! Seeing that the other one hates her and is always sucking off 5 basketball player penis's at the same damn time. When she isn't washing strangers dishes. Or recording albums and writing books for her 1 and only fan.
Helen Keller!
And she's BDD!
Blind, deaf and dumb? Nope! Blind, Deaf and Dead!
Come to find out. Chantel saw only one album sale. And that's because she went fishing and left it on the boat! Excuse me! One album sailing! There's a difference!
Anyway! Brandi told Jackie that it's okay for her to talk with Draya, but on the side. Not in front of everybody! Like she did last time!
Then, Brandi said that if Jackie reveals potentially damaging, and sensitive information about her in front of everybody like she did to to Draya. They wont be cool anymore!
Then, Brandi told Sundy to sit out of it and chill!
And man! She's so level headed! I love it! I've been a Brandi fan from the moment that I saw her. I fucks with Brandi! All jokes aside, I love Brandi! As of right now, she's my fave!
So, Sundy says she has no beef with Draya. She has an issue with her. She doesn't say what the issue is. But she goes into a long explaining about what beef is! She's talking about kicking in doors and shooting babies in the head and shit. I'm looking at my TV. like, "Damn Sundy is an evil bitch!"
Anyway, Jackie said that the Jackets are gon jump Draya, so Brandi better just worry about herself and Malaysia because, Draya ain't even friend with her like that so. So, mind your business, basically! They are planning to provoke her so that they can fight.
The Jackets new mantra is, "Light skin, must not win!"
So, Draya and Malaysia show up. And their both wearing Daisy Dukes! And Draya has been so friendly with offering up anal sex to the world, her shorts wont stay out of her booty! She had to play tug a war to get the denim out of her ass! Funny thing about it, Draya is so hot, she even makes picking wedgies look sexy!
Chicken! It's what's for dinner!
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words, tell a fucking friend!https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 9 | FINALE | Heels on the Hudson | Review | Recap | Opinion
After some clips from earlier episodes in the series. The episode starts out at
with Mica and a very fat woman, Her miracle worker, I mean, make up artist, Patrece. The two are meeting up with Mica's slutty models!
The Skeletons are doing a photo shoot. And the first one is Courtney! A white woman so flat chested that she tries to be funny and cover her little nuggets. One hand on each boobie! All she needed was a rubber band!
She can wear an eye patch as a bra! She said that she once went to the store and they handed her an A cup and she said, "actually I wear an A spoon! Skank you very much"
I mean, if Melyssa's cup runnith' over in her brassier and she has a gulp of breast, Courtney has a sip of titty!
I mean her breasts are so small, when she went to get a mammogram, the Dr. checked for an Adam's Apple! She's so skinny, when she rubs her hands together, it sounds like bubble wrap popping! She's so skinny, when she goes to the beach they say forget skinny dipping. Let's go Courtney dipping!
Nah, I'm just joking! The fat bitches who watch my YouTube videos wish they looked like Courtney! HA HA!
In our next scene Melyssa is showing Lance, a potential client a nice apartment! And she is looking quite bootylicious in a tight white dress!
The rent for the place is $27,000 and her commission works like this. $27,000 Multiplied by 12 months, for a 1 year contract equals, $324,000, divided by 15% equals $48,600 dollars!
Man! I wish I would have gotten into Real Estate years ago! Oh well! Melyssa would be a great teacher! I guess I'll have to ass, I mean ask her! For some lessons or something!
Anyway! Melyssa is working on commissions only. And the client appears to be more concerned with her tight white dress and big sexy biracial booty than the apartment!
He ends up leaving empty handed. Well, except for his parting gift! Some hair in a can! After a quick Masonic hand shake. Captain comb over leaves and goes home to masturbate and think about what he just saw!
Now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem when her gay boyfriend walks in.
And we're at Daisy's and Geneva's houses too. We're jumping back and forth between the places. And the ladies are reading their invitations to the boat party
Mica said that she used to running from her problems. And being on a boat with them is gonna be odd because, her skinny ass can't swim that damn good! Terry is very supportive of her! He told her that as skinny as she is, she'll be fine! Pirates love skulls and bones!
Now we're with Demetria and she's doing a photo shoot for her second book. Which is titled. "Don't Waste Your Pretty". Judging by her looks, she needs to take her own advice!
Anyway, she's getting her fat face painted on. She claims that she hasn't eaten solid food in a long time. Well except dry coffee! And she's been drinking hot water! So pretty much, this hot head is a human peculator! I'd think will all of that caffeine, this low energy slug be bouncing off of the walls like Daisy! But caffeine apparently has not effect on her! I blame the fat!
Speaking of fat. Her humungous friend that always has to out do her was like, "Coffee? Girl, I onced starved my self by going for weeks on sneezy!" Then the skinny one was like, "girl I'm a breatharian. I don't eat at all!"
They edited out her dead home girl, the skeleton. She rolled out with sign on her rip cage, and her hands over her mouth and the sign said "top this bitches! I'm dead!"
Fucking show off!
So, when Demetria started writing she sacrificed a lot of things, relationships, work outs, and even cats!
But, Anyway! Demetria loves the photos, she just want to Photoshop out her fat! Which is so much easier than proper diet and exercise! What an extremest! She eats like a pig and doesn't work out. Then punishes herself by eating nothing but coffee and sperm!
What a fucking lunatic!
Now we're at Flywheel, and Brie is working out! I knew her fit and petite self had to work out!
So Geneva and Daisy come are their too.
they're doing this for charity. Called, "Half in 10". Or some crap like that! You see, poverty levels are at 22 percent for people who are under the age of 18, and they are going to bring those levels down to 11 percent in 10 years! By riding Bicycles in a fitness class!
Yeah! Don't ask me how it works. Because I don't know!
So, Geneva AKA Snuffleupagus, doesn't want to meet up with the girls on the boat trip because she doesn't like Mica.
And Daisy said that Geneva acts like a nasty attitude having middle aged
black woman, who lost her husband, that wants to look at Daisy's butt!
And I began clapping! Yeah Daisy! There's plenty of women like that on the internet! It's always a Geneva who leaves a nasty comment on my YouTube videos!
The highlight of the scene is when Daisy confessed that she was using the bicycle seat to masturbate! She said that spinning is her sex, because she can feet it in her flower pot.
Hey Daisy, get it how you live! I love this crazy bitch!
So, now we're at Melyssa's Apartment in the Financial District of Jew York city!
And Melyssa's mom and aunt come through. And her white momma can barely sit down before she grabs a beer and starts calling Melyssa a whore.
I feel like I'm watching an Episode of 106 and Trailer Park, on M.E.T. Mixed Entertainment Television! And don't dare act like ya'll don't watch it too!
Their were only 2 good things about this scene. #1 The world now knows what I already knew. Which is that Melyassa Ford is the poster child for race mixing done right! Her momma and daddy have some couture Jean-etics! (genetics)
And #2
When her mom asked her if she is still failing miserably financially. The entre-prewhore in Melyssa makes her want to keep striving for independence. And when I say independence. I mean she is still waiting on her rich man! And well, I still didn't get this money just yet Melyssa but when I do!
Anyway, her mother told her that she needs to get a stable job and hurry and have kids before her eggs go rotten! She's turning 38 this year for God sakes!
Now we're at Demetria's Apartment with Demteria and Gregg!
Gregg is concerned with his girlfriend going on this boat trip. Black people have a tendency to get tied up on trips like these, and then they don't come back! But they always find work when they reach their destination! Anyway! He doesn't for her to get turned out in some lesbian orgy type situation. And does he want for her to get beaten up either!
In our next scene we visit Daisy's apartment.
And she is packing gifts with her two assistants, to give to the ladies son their boat trip!
I'm telling you, Daisy has the perfect name. She's one sweet chick! I just wish that she'd stop with the loud collars! The only thing louder than her wardrobe is her personality! I mean, a bright orange dress and that frigging pink lipstick? She must think that she's Barbie! But as black as she is with that pink lipstick, she looks more like Bar-B-cue!
Now we're in a cab with Melyssa and Demetria. Melyssa says to chill with calling Mica a drunk
because if she has to, Melyssa is gonna snatch that nappy mop on Demetria's head, and ring her brains through her nose holes!
And Mica and Terry are in their car. And Mica says that she just wants a simple apology from Demon-etria for pointing and saying, "Ha ha you're daddy died! You drunk!"
Now the ladies are arriving at the boat at Lincoln Harbor. Geneva can't even get on the boat good and she's speaking about white Jesus and how she wants to bring a Christian crusade of murder and torture, to this boat ride!
Geneva aka Cortez, just last week was screwing her friend, taking it up the butt and letting him piss all over big ass eyes. now she is Jesus in the flesh, last weak she had Jesus in her flesh! And when I say Jesus I mean, the PENIS!
Look, Popeye! You weren't thinking about reaching heaven when Wayne was crucifying your vagina. You weren't trying to reach heaven. just an orgasm! Who is this hypocrite kidding? The only congregating you do is at Churches Chicken!
I can see her now at the Church dinner. Eating out of the collections plate!
No! Better yet! I can see her on a diet now. Talking about, "it died!"
I mean Geneva's eating healthy would last as long as bottle of Visine around them big ass eyes!
On day one of her diet she'd be telling her friend. "Girl! I'm on that new Weight Watchers! Every morning I get on the scale and watch my weight go up!"
"But I'm tryna eat healthy! Just vegetables!" Then she'll be with her girlfriend at the buffet like. I'm just gonna have the Cesar salad! Then she sees her salad, gives up and goes back to meat!
Fat ass! Corn beef is not a vegetable! And 8 slices of Apple Pie is not a daily serving of fruit!
I can see her now! I bet at her funeral, they're gonna say stuff like. "Geneva the big eyed Diva was the type of Elephant to give you her shirt off her back. But she'd take her twinkles out the pocket first"
Geneva lets the women know about her and Wayne.
And Daisy says. "Yeah! That's why she was mad, this beached whale had sand in her bathing suit! And when I say sand, I mean Va-dry-na! Dry vagina!"
So the women get all dolled up and then they sit down to eat dinner.
And Daisy gives the ladies their gifts! And even gets a kiss in return from Brie!
NOTE TO SELF: Get Brie a gift to get a kiss! And when I say a "gift". I mean my dick in a box! With a bow on balls!
Anyway, as expected, the ladies love the gifts. In fact, this ac t of kindness made Demetria finally figure out that Daisy is a sweaty pie! Aww, she must have put an Afro pick in her box!
And a gift to Krispy Kreme!
So Mica starts being questioned about being a slutty, Tragic Mulatto.
And whether or not she is just an alcohol or if she is popping Molly's on the side too!
And Mica has excuses for everything! When it comes to the party that she violently flashed her vagina at. She said she was merely pulling her dress because she had gas! She needed to either fan it or melt in her own funk! And she decided to live!
And as for the time that she ran up in Bries house to rip Geneva's eyes out and make Spaghetti and eyes balls? Well, you see, what had happened was. They were on their way to dinner and Demetria said she was famished from only eating coffee so, Geneva's eyes were supposed to be an appetizer!
Well Mica. You're not rocking with the "white is right" crowd babe! Those excuses will get you no were!
However Mica does brings up a great point! And that's the fact that Demetria is a royal bitch!
She also feels like Demetria is being extremely judgmental. And before she can finish ripping Demon-eatia a new one.
Demetria pulls a Kanye West, snatches her Microphone and says that she thinks that Mica has split personalities! Then said, "Wu Tang is for the children! Suuuuu!"
Whatever that means!
So brie says that yeah, mica is a sloppy drunk!
And mica who is nearly in tears, apologize profusely! I mean she even appologized for slavery!
Right there on that boat! And like she said, Demetria whooped her white ass like Django unchained!
So, Daisy says that calling Mica an alcoholic isn't cool. Because those are strong words. And there's power in the tongue. In fact, she's been with a woman before. Melysssa.. So yeah! There's power in the tongue!
Geneva tells Daisy to shut up because she wasn't there.
And Melyssa just sat there drunk, thinking, I bitch a wish would! Yeah, she gets dyslexic when she gets drunk!
Anyway, the white girl got up and ran off crying! She probably went and drowned her sorrows in more alcohol! As we know, white people can drink a fish under the table! That's the one thing they're good for.
Now in the closing scene, the ladies are at the edge of the boat like that movie, The Titanic.
They're watching fire works. and they're pretty optimistic about the second season!
And getting to know each other and what not. In fact, it's time for the lesbian orgy at the bowels of the ship! Damn, wish i was there! Fish is the healthiest meat that you can eat!
And I'll leave you with these parting words. A wise man once said. "Great minds, think like dykes".
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words,
tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta | Season 6 | Episode 18 | Flirting with Disaster | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out at the El Dorado Royale in Mexico.
Mr. Lawrence and Kenya are sitting outside enjoying a delicious meal.
They are discussing Porsha and Kordell. And Kenya is sticking to her story. The one that states that Kordell is a homo and Porsha is his, "beard"! And "beard" is a slang term for a woman or man who is in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex as a means to fool others into thinking that their partner is straight!
Anyway! When Kenya is bashing my sweet, adorable Porsha. I had to stop and ask myself this question! Who would know Porsha's marriage better? Prosha? Or an over the hill, former model. With an African magician, whose been doing a life long disappearing act nicknamed, Harry Hu-dingy? Aka Metallic Black! Because he's so dark his shadow called him a "nigger!"
Anyway she still saying that Apollo wanted to cheat on Phaedra by sleeping with her.
Which is believable. But why are you gossiping with a crazy gay guy who demands, almost at gun point, to be refereed to as a "Ms."?
These two are full of drama.
Speaking of drama! Everybody piles up in SUV's to go visit some Underground Caverns.
Kenya the cave dweller is going to introduce the group to her relatives, which are literally wild animals!
So, on the way to Kenya's old neighborhood, the cast is talking about the resort they are staying at. And the showers are apparently outside. And Porsha is concerned with indecent exposure. And of course Gregg, the old pervert tells her to, "show what you got!" And to go "Bless someone!" He sounds like Adontis! You know, the Preacher from the church of booty and twerking? The one that worships big butt women? Yeah! Just like that! And this is why even Christians don't like Christians!
So in the other S.U.V., Kandi and Todd are being question about their marraige by the group.
The others are trying to force them to hurry up and get married already!
And Peter Le Pew, the black Skunk! Just can't keep his big Jawmacian mouth shut.
Not Jamaican, but Jawmaican!
And He points at Kandi and says. You're gonna keep bull shitting around and then Toddler is gonna get frustrated and throw a tantrum. Then the inevitable is gonna happen! Yep! He's gonna get with Carmon and you, Kandi are gonna die in a house full of cats with your crazy mother!
And Todd gave Peter that look like, "I see Cynthia is still not putting out."
I will say this in Todd and Kandi's defense. They are afraid that if they were to get married. Their wedding will turn into a funeral. Because Mama Joyce might shoot up the place!
So, that's a good enough reason to live in sin, and fornicate, and live!
So the group arrive at some sort of cage less zoo! And theirs monkey's and even an Anaconda! Yes! The world's largest snake! And as expected Kenya is up for the challenge!
I'm in trouble because, Porsha must like em small! Because she was so frightened that Toddler and Kandi had to walk with her just to go past it!
So the filthy Mexican's who are a lot like those stinking Chinese people. Picked up the snake and secretly brought it to their restaurant. The cast will be eating it later, and thinking that they're eating, "chicken". *SCOFFS*
So the group walk through a raggedy cave. And it looks like Kenya's womb! Dry, hollow and hanging! And everybody's been in it!
So, they walk around some more and they find a pond in the cave! And Kenya and Apollo can't wait to hop in!
Kenya gave Apollo that, "It's Showtime" look! And yeah, he is about to go in!
Peter isn't getting in the pool because Cynthia still didn't let him hit it. And his balls are an anchor! So Peter is not about to drown in filthy Mexico!
So, Phaedra and Porsha got in the pond next. And after some brief swimming.
Kenya walked all of that booty up the stairs and when I say stairs I mean the stares from Apollo's eyes! He can see into her future the way he was looking at that chocolate crystal ball!
He looked down the stairs to make sure Phaedra was distracted, then the daggers in his eyes
You'd think this fool had X-Ray vision the way he was looking at that ass!
So yeah! We all know that after seeing her look at Apollo when they were going swimming. And his sneaky stares at her when she was walking up the stairs! Yeah! They both want each other! Bad! The sexual tension is building! I wonder whats gonna happen now!
So, the girls and the homo Mr. Lawrence decide to go on a walking excursion!
Kenya wants to become fertile. So she invites all of the women except for two!
The only ones who are not invited are Phaedra and Porsha because according to Sugar Shade Mosley, They didn't support her efforts to get pregnant!
So they have a pool party for 4 instead! Phaedra, Porsha, Porhsa's drink and Porsha's hat!
How do you support a 40 something year old Toy-Ho-Ta, that's been drilled more times than BP Oil, in her efforts to get pregnant by the Ghost of the Invisible Man?
Are they supposed to grow a penis and bust nuts up in Kenya's asshole for her?
The worst part about it is, my boo thing Porsha suffered a miscarriage in the past. So being invited onto a fertility trip would a great bonding experience for her and Kenya and a thoughtful, heart warming gesture! But no! Kenya is a cold hearted snake.
So, NeNe kisses Gregg goodbye. And I thought that was a sweet thing to do! But then I realized something! That was her way of saying that he's so old, he can die any minute!
SHADY!
Anyway, they arrive at the Naay Spa, The Mayan Vision! And I'm thinking. I didn't know that Nay Nay, NeNe's drag queen alter ego, had it's own spa!
So while their there. Kenya starts crying and basically repenting to Lucifer. So she can become fertile again!
And a Shaman appears out of thin air! And he's a fat bumbling fool! Somebody needs to watch this guy, like when I go to white stores! I swear little George Zimmer-witch over here is the Mexican Chris Farely!
So, the Shaman blows some smoke out of his ass, and farts, and supposedly Kenya's eggs are gonna pump out some babies now! I doubt it! But we'll see! She better have a receipt for that bull shit!
If hot air made you pregnant, Kenya would have more burnt babies than the Holocaust!
I mean, Kenya is like a sauna, full of hot air, and old wrinkly rich men come 4 at a time inside her to sit, relax and forget about work! And their wife! And read the news paper!
So the Shaman continues his scamming ritual! As he picks up some grass and starts rubbing it on the women's breasts! WOAH! So in order to go around groping random women. All you gotta do is claim to be a Shaman, pick up a patch of grass and then smear their white shirts with it? Now, that's a scam if I ever sawed one! What would putting leaves on their breasts do? They ain't Eve and this is not the Garden! And your name may be (Hey zues) Jesus, but you're not Jesus!
Anyway, the Charlatan, "Shaman", handed Kenya some inexpensive, clearance rack statue from Home Cheapo! Yes not Home Depot, but Home Cheapo! Hey, it's Mexico! Don't judge them!
So he hands it to her and says, "Hold this, it will help you to get pregnant!" But, She's gonna be pissed when she finds out that that resort has a "you touch it you bought it" policy ! That thing cost 15 Mexican cents to make and now she's gonna be stuck with a $100,000 bill, and a Mexican curse to boot!
So then they sit in a cheap looking sauna, type stone igloo looking thingy. And the Shaman pours some dirty Mexican water on some coals and they chant some crap in Spanish that is supposed to help Kenya get pregnant! So, I heard the Mexican say something hilarious! He poured the water on the coals. Then he said, "Ma Negra tay!"
Then he kept screaming, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Then he ran outside, whipped out his cell phone,and called the manager and said, "We got a Ma Negra Tay!" And his Gringo manager was like. "Jesus, what does that mean?"
And the Shaman was like. "It means, Fuck, I put too much Now she's gonna pop out babies like that cursed statue! It's about to look like Africa up in here! It already smells like Africa!"
So, the manager told him to just walk back in there and pretend that everything is fine! And that he just ran out cursing because he was so happy for her! She'll be pregnant in no time!
Now the guys, Peter, Todd and Apollo get together to go smoke a Cigar at some place.
And Todd is distraught about his future mother in law wanting him out of the picture. And I don't mean Photoshop either! I talking that hit that she put out on him!
And Kenya and Mr. Lawrence pop up. And of course the homo wants to put a cigar in his mouth. He had his clipped a long time ago! So Kenya dips her Cigar in Todd's Congac be cause she likes her phallus's wet!
Now they begin talking about sucking and pulling on cigars! And Apollo wants Kenya so bad that he can barely think straight! She gets up to go get another drink and BAM! Just like the cave scene. He's all up in the booty!
They say that before you eat with your mouth, you eat with your eyes! And Apollo's eyes are digging in and having seconds! All of that eye candy has him feasting his eyes on a buffet of booty!
He better watch out though! When Phaedra finds out, it's gonna be his Last Supper! Boy oh boy! Apollo the convict is on Death Row and he doesn't even know it! I hope you enjoyed your last meal buddy! Because Phaedra is gonna give you the electric chair!
So Kenya and Dead Man Walking decide to get some Tequila at the bar, and sit and talk about who wants to screw who more! And Todd is Chaperoning because he doesn't want the Cigar shop to turn into a porno film! We all know that Kenya can smoke with all 3 of her holes! And blow smoke rings with them to boot!
And Apollo was like, Toddler, get your little ass out of here! Let the grown folks talk!
So Kenya wants for Apollo to be her friend! She is all like, "Look, my beef is with the wife not you, so let's be cool!" And Apollo is all like. Look, she wanted to be more than friends. Because he could have smashed a long time ago, and he sticks to that story.
Crazy thing about it is Kenya didn't confirm nor deny that statement!
And Apollo is telling her about how fine she is. In fact, he told her more than once that she is hot shit! And he didn't jump up on it because his wife and family mean more to him then a fling!
So, Kandi walks in looking cute. Then Phaedra walks in looking...
bloated!
So, Phaedra walks over to Kenya and Apollo. And Apollo raises his hands, and then freezes!
The same thing he does every time he get's arrested!
But this time, his arresting officer is gonna give him a Lethal Injection!
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words,
tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Basketball Wives LA | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out where it left off. Much like a Mexican on the toilet, Jackie is spilling the beans! She is letting Draya know that her fantasy of a rich man cleaning the cum off of her face and kissing her on the mouth is officially over! Because Orlando is a cheater!
So, Draya is in disbelief about the news that her fiance smashed and sucked all over Jackie's chubby daughter Chantel!
Draya is not worried about what catty whores have to say. She knows Orlando is going no where! They're gonna stay together and he is being faithfull to her. Or at least that's what she thinks for now!
So, sexy Draya and sexy Malaysia leave the restaurant. And Draya doesn't want to show up for Jackie's Gay Event now.
So, Jackie and her life partner Doug are meeting up with their daughter, chubby Chantel!
Jackie let's Chantel know that she told her daddy, Doug about Orlando. And Chantel says that Orlando is a no body Basketball player that no one knows the name of. And the only sneaker deal he will ever receive is a sneak her deal. Yeah! He'll be sneaking Draya out of the house when his real main girl comes by!
She then went on to say that she's worried about making money. And Draya is only worried about the balls! Chantel has a bank account and Draya has a skank account! Yes, she said that Draya's stomach is a sperm bank!
Then, she refers to Draya as a used car! A Lemon! A beat down 1966 Ugo on 3 wheels with no windows, in the rain, during a Tornado, Hurricane and a Tsunami! A worn out, beat up, wet and weathered machine!
Then she said that Draya is a smash and dash! And she is just screwing for shoes and bags! Yes! A jump off that merely receives sandwich money and cheap gifts!
And I might offend some women by saying this but, any woman who considers a mans finances when choosing a mate. Is a prostitute anyway! So, since Draya is faithful, honest, discrete and a nice person to people. Back int he day, she would have Mary Magdalene. A Holy prostitute. And in my opinion, she should get a house and whatever she likes! Call me Captian Save A Draya all you want! I like that little bird looking bitch! I would have wifed her too!
She's good at what she does.
Anyway! Chantel starts bragging about her accomplishments. She says that Draya selling swim suits in the winter is like. Sundy writing a guide for parents, with advice for mothers of teenaged daughters!
And she has personally accomplished so much more than Draya! Some of her most notable life accomplishments include but are not limited to. Recording two bargain bin albums, for sale at the local Good Will. And, she wrote a book at the age of fourteen! So I looked up her name on Amazon. Chantel Christie. And the bitch wrote a coloring book! You deceitful, whore!
Now we visit Bark N Bitches! A dog store! And I just wanna call a time out! And give Kudos to the producers who set up the scene with Sundy and Brittish in a dog store! This was the greatest hidden joke of all time!
Anyway, Sundy is telling Brittish about how Draya is being cheated on, yet is in complete denial.
And British says that Draya is stupid and delusional and if a slut walked out wearing a maid out fit at the house. And said she was a maid, Draya would believe her. Because she is desperate for a man!
And this is her first official relationship, and all Orlando is gonna do is say sorry, buy her a present and fuck her in the butt! Draya's specialty.
Now were visiting Flax. Malaysia and Ariane are working on the invitation to the GLAAD event that Jackie is hosting. And it has a name! It's called, "Jackie Chrstie Marriage Equality Celebration".
And I believe in marriage equality alright! I believe in Polyamory! That's when you marry multiple people. Since this is about, "marriage equality". *Clears throat* These homos better be fighting for my right to marry Draya and Raven Symone! I mean, I can fantasize all that I want! Anyway, we all know that the Gays will not be fight for polygamy! Just their own selfish right to mock Christianity.
Speaking of Jesus! Now we're in the car with Jackie! And she's driving and masturbating! With for fingers! But hey, her Flasher coat is really nice!
Now it's finally time or Draya to confront Orlando about Chantel
He lives and works in racist Dallas Texas, she made him fly back to Los Angeles by lying to him and telling him that she missed him and would die without some penis!
So he went through the TSA, you know, Touching Someones Ass! Got groped and everything, anal cavity search. All that good stuff! And he was shocked when she said. "You're sleeping on the couch!! SUCKER!" "Ha ha! I tricked you! Women really are smarter than men! Even if I'm 30, been hoeing since birth and the most I got out of it was this T-shirt that says, open for service on the chest. And a smack on the ass!"
So then. Draya shakes Orlando down big time! She's like, look Orlando! I know that you fucked that fat bitch! Tell the truth! Was it good? Was it tight? Was it better than mine? She didn't do anal like do for you right?
But come to find out, Orlando was hooked up with Chantel via a friend. And when she came over to the house where Orlando was with his 5 friends, she stepped out of the car and he said, "I don't do fat bitches! And I don't do dark butts!" And yes! Orlando actually implied that Chantel who is a light complected Mulatto, whose almost as bright as Draya, is not his type, because of her skin complexion! Man! Dudes these days!
Anyway! She stayed at his house for like 5 minutes and then left! So, he didn't smash. Allegedly!
But his friend, that he passed her off to, well, he sure did smashed and dash! I'm talking hit and run! Yeah, he played the knock out game with that pussy!
So, Draya is making him buy her something fly because the whole situation upset her. He has to make amends some way!
And Draya is gonna tell Jackie about how much of a cum guzzling slut Chanetel really is!
Now we're at the GLAAD event. And Jackie is up in there by herself! None of her girls have shown up yet!
But her Public Relations representative, Dominic is not there. He hasn't fully payed for the venue yes! And everything is a mess! The gift bags aren't done or anything!
But Dominic's Assistant is there! It's name is Ashley. And Ashley is apparently a transtestical! Or if it was Chinese it would be a "Ching chong, Ching Chong, Tranny Devito!"
Anyway, with things being screwed up before they can even start, Jackie starts calling the girls and panicking! She's has a cloud of anxiety over her head, and it's raining fear! She said that she now knows how Draya must feel hiding in another woman's house, in a pile of stuff animals wearing face paint, trying to blend in!
So, Dominic Friesen, who looks like a Meth Head, Pops up finally and Jackie wants answers!
Jackie tells Scarface that he is gonna be Friesen (freezing) his ass off because he's about to lose his livelihood playing with her Homo Event like this!
And Dominic has more excuses than a Black man in hand cuffs!
Jackie is like, " I ain't hearing that! I'll snatch your faggot nuts and that tranny's Adams Apple and make trail mix! Don't fuck with me Dominic!"
Then she said, "starting pistol!" Dominic asked her, "what does that mean?" She said' "you're fired! Now run!" *BANG!*
He ran his little gay, drug addict looking self out of there, holding hands with "Ashley".
The two were never seen again! I told you Jackie was in the Illuminati!
Now, Sundy shows up, and instead of lending a finger, she pulled a Draya and lended a lip! She got herself a drink of liquor and began bad mouthing the other women.
When Malaysia arrives, Jackie, pretends that she's late to make "Good TV" of course ha ha! So, Brandi shows up next and as Malaysia is explaining to Brandi and Ariane what is going on, Sundy barges into the conversation. As for Jackie, she's pretending to not know why Draya is a no show. I mean, you just pulled her into a restaurant with 2 other girls and informed her that your daughter was sucking her future husband off along with 4 or 5 of his buddies. And you wonder why she didn't show up? Jackie is the Devil! So, Brittish sits down with Sundy to discuss the fact that she feels as if Malaysia tried to play her. When she walked up in that piece, Malaysia allegedly gave her a "dry hello"! So Brittish pulls Malaysia to the side and starts telling her that her hello was dry and she wants a wet goodbye! In other words, she can lick her lips and kiss her ass! And Malaysia lets her know that she didn't mean it like that.And to chill out ma! You know, she'd be cute if she lost 40 pounds! Then, they all of sudden start doing like crazy black bitches do. You know, the thing were they talk with their hands like their wearing sock puppets? Yeah that thing! Then they did that other thing that annoying black girls do when they get mad! You know, start talking fast and pointing, like an auctioneer.
*Talking Peurto Rican fast like an Auctioneer* "Step right up,! This bitch right is going 10, can I get 20? 20 going once, going twice do I see 30? 30 going once, going twice, SOLD! To the bitch with the raggedy weave in the back!"
Speaking of weaves, when Brandi broke up the fight, she was throwing major shade! She kept screaming out, HAY HAY HAY! Not HEY, as in H.E.Y. but rather H.A.Y. for horses. She was making fun of their weaves! I guess she really does believe that she's better than everybody after all! And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Giving Some and Getting Some | Review | Recap | Opinion |
The show starts out where it left off last week. At the Cocktails with Belle event at EVR. Which is an acronym for "Everyone's Very Rich!" Well except for Melyssa. But' we'll get to that slut in a minute!
This episode was good and interesting right from the very start! So, Melyssa goes to buy herself a drink of Alcohol. And much like Daisy, her black card is broken! And she's tying to play dumb! Well Melyassa! You should have learned to stretch a dollar like you stretch a pussy! But it's all good! Imma take care of you as soon as I get this money!
Melyssa brought Daisy to Demetria's event because she wanted them to talk and fix their little pseudo beef.
And Demon-etria is being a vampire by trying to suck Daisy's positive energy out of her! She's hating on the sweet, spunky, bad wig wearing author and ball of positive energy!
I think that Daisy is adorable. And Demetria should work with her instead of against her. But anyway, Demetria turns her big disgusting body, so that she can fart on Daisy! And she knocks over a glass! And since Daisy is wearing a revealing dress, that shows off her brown shapely legs. The glass jumps up and cuts her!
And this could have all been avoided if these women were in the kitchen and wearing their Burka's!
Anyways! Daisy the Sunflower is bleeding happy juice all over the place. It looks like a horror film! I'm talking Blood everywhere! Looking like a rap video shot in Compton.
Oh well, I now know why the show is titled, "Blood Sweat and Heels" now! They were arguing and sweating, then Demetria drew blood and Daisy was sure nuff wearing some heels!
So Daisy got patched up, the she said F.T.S.! Fuck This Shit! And threw down that silly leg cast and put a tiny band aid on and somehow it stopped her from bleeding!
So, Demtria doesn't know why they are beefing with each other at this point either! So I am not alone by being confused here! She told Daisy something to the effect of. "Sometime you might not remember what someone said, but you remember the way they made you feel."
*Scofffs*
And you know what? To be honest.. That sounds like something a rape victim would say.
I can see Raz B now. "I don't remember what he said, but that shit hurt!"
I was hoping that she was gonna tell Demetria that she is sick of her nasty attitude. Tell her to grow up! And then threaten to whip out a strap on, rip the rubber dick off! And then proceed to strap on fuck her up the ass with a can of glade! To freshen her stinking attitude! Because she's tired of being insecure and talking out of her cunt!
But, she took the higher route. And let her know that she's not trying to bring any drama tot he event, and she's sorry that Demetria took whatever she did the wrong way. Now they're cool again! For now! And they will talk about it another time.
So now we're at Melyssa's job. And she walks in so drunk from the night before that she had have a brother in a suit come play, "Captain Save a Video Hoe!" And find the icon to her email account on her computer for her!
And Brother man better hit that! 40 year old ex booty models that come to work with hang overs are the easiest pussy you're ever gonna get. And you got bragging rights to boot!
So Jennifer, Melyssa's boss told her that she needs to have a meeting with her really soon.
And I'm scurred (scared) that she's about to get fired!
So, now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem New York!
Mica, who happens to be a high ranking member of the Illuminati. Drunk Model chapter. Has a torture apparatus for her cheating boyfriend all set up! She forced him to lay down at gun point. Took a sip from her special secret elixir *whispering* (Shh, it's alcohol!)
Then she sent some electrical currents through his eye brow!
Bad bad ruthless Mulatto! Nick Canon better watch his back!
Mica has a Cocktail party for Project Sunshine to go to. And she made her gay blabber mouthed boyfriend swear on Oath of Secrecy and silence. With the penalty of death if ever dares to reveal that secret!
*EVIL LAUGH* Muhu ha ha ha!
Hmm Cheddar cheese!
Now we visit Bries apartment in Manhattan New York.
And Brie might be cute. But even her dog is boring! I bet the only thing dryer than her personality is her pussy! Bries vagina is so dry, I can light a match on her clit!
I bet she masturbates with a hammer! Her coochie is so dry, tight, tart and hard. I bet she doesn't even own a wrench!
So, Melyssa Ford comes over! Amd she told sand paper snatch that she has this cute little Christmas Tree outfit that her dog can put on. And I was very confused. I said, "wait a minute! How does a woman like Melyssa who lives in that closet sized Apartment. I mean, it's not even a studio, it's just the sound proof booth! But, how does she have room there for extra clutter like Dog costumes!"
Then I released something! That little outfit, is probably something the bitch wore in a rap music video back in the day! When she was young! And relevant! At barbershops!
Anyway, Melyssa is laughing at the bib that Brie put on her dog. Because she knows how he must feel! Just like her days on music video shoot days, theirs a bitch with balls all around her!
You've made it Melyssa! You went from exploiting women to well... exploiting women! Congratulations you man-less 40 year old drunk! If you didn't scrape your womb over the years you could have a least had a baby or something! Oh well, at least you have debt to keep you company! You're bank account has nothing but 0's and a 1 at the end! Looking like a binary code!
So Demetria stops by. And Brie let's the girls know that they are dutifully invited to her charitable event for a Children's Hospital. And of course they drank to that!
Come to find out, it's Bries dog Rocko's birthday! And when she starts talking some bull shit about not putting a candle in his cake and what not. Demetria looks at her like she wants to get her psychologically evaluated. And Melyssa looks at her like, "Bitch! I would slap the black off of you, but I ran out of hand sanitizer!"
Now we're at Geneva's apartment in Harlem New York!
And she has a charitable event to attend, but forget all of that! This Wesley Snipes look a like is ready to get her some penis! She can't wait for it too! She decided to shove some Kegel balls up her coochie to tighten things up down there. She is going on a date with a friend with bend a fits! Not benefits, bend a fits! Because he is gonna bend her chubby body over and Harpoon the Hippo!
So now were in an SUV, that's a Slut Utility Vehicle by the way! We're with Demttria aka Krustyy The Clown! Melyssa Ford aka the woman so sexy that she takes a shit with her legs cross! And Brie Bythewood aka O.R.B.! And I bet you're asking yourself, "what does that mean?" You know, she's an ORB, O.R.B.! One Rich Bitch!
You see Brie and Mylessa do the same kind of work but, Brie has it easy! Mylessa works on her knees to sell Real Estate. And her knee pads are as raggedy as Mica the drunks kidneys.
Brie on the other hand, has a rich family so, she sells real estate through her Illuminati hook ups!
And Melyssa is a bit jealous of her easy, breezy, and privileged lifestyle.
I mean Brie is such a lady, when she wipes her ass, she folds the tissue over the chocolate before placing it into the toilet. Yes not tossing, but placing it. Carefully and slowly! And I bet she says, "there" when she gently puts it into the commode!
Now we arrive at Herbert H. Lehman College for the Children's Hospital party.
Demtria who is dressed like mother Earth in her green and blue dress. And Melyssa, who is dressed like the sky in her blue and white dress. Are chatting it up and the girls are gonna have a dinner party in the future. So they can stop disliking each other for no other reason than being catty girls.
And Melyssa and me feel the same way about Mica, that she is a sweet heart! And Melyssa has her back!
Speaking of Mica, we're at the Project Sunshine Event!
And they can barely get in the party good before some white boy in the Illuminati is hounding them about why they have been together for 2 years and aren't married yet! Because in their secret society, they marry to exchange monies and have what they believe to be "advanced" children, because of their blood lines.
And Mr. arranged marriage over here got married to his wife in 10 months to the date of them meeting! And he gave Mica that look like, "You know the rules". And Mica is a rebel, so they might off her!
So we're now back at the Hospital Charity Event! And Melyssa tells Demetria that Brie is so rich, that when she eats, she wipes her mouth with a gold embroidered, cashmere napkin. And the voice on her alarm clock that she wakes up to is Robin Leech from, "The Lifestyles Of The Rich and Famous!" And I don't mean a recording of his voice neither! Robin Leech sleeps underneath Bries bed and wakes her up by saying, "You're rich bitch!" at 6am every morning!
As a matter of fact. Her momma is more loaded like Aaliyah's airplane. She even has a 1.2 Million dollar painting in her bathroom!
And rumor has it. Bries birth, well, she was hatched from a golden egg!
And Demetria comes from money too! She was whipping her daddies credit card out of her Afro and charging it to the game since day 1!
Now, according to Melyssa, she was so filthy and poor that she was forced to begin working at age 11! LMAO! She's so full of shit! LMAO! Yeah right Melyssa! The only job you've ever held was a hand job! Oh and a blow job! Silly prostitute. Until you sold your first house through Real Estate, you thought J.O.B. was an acronym for "Jerking Off the Boss!"
Now we're with Geneva and her Friend with Bend a fits named Wayne.
The two are having a date at the ARTE CAFE! And she is a silly fat girl. Acting how women act when they really like a guy!
They barely ate any of their food before they had to hop up and leave to go do it!
And Wayne whispered something in her ear so crazy that she lost it and her balls fell out! No! Not the Kegal balls! I mean her testicles fell out of her duck taped ass!
He said this in her ear, *Psst!*"I always wanted to fuck Wesley Snipes!"
And the bitch was like, "On guard!" "Tushay" "Seppeku!" Lets's go!
Eww! Nasty!
Now we're at Pastai Restaurant with Melyssa Ford and her boss Jennifer.
And Melyassa just knows that she's about be fired so, she starts talking that big girl shit! Saying stuff like, "I'm so awesome that I moved to New York with a 1 way bus ticket, 2 bags fulls of dildos and $25!"
Yeah Melyssa, traveling with a small amount of cash is a good way to keep from losing it all in a robbery! Besides, you probably had some guys Centurion Black Card in your back pocket, keeping warm from all of that glorious booty heat!
And I bet you had a place to stay when you reached New York! I mean, $25 can get you a box to sleep in for the night. It wouldn't even put you in the worst of hotels! So stop fronting!
So Jennifer fell for Melyssa's B.S. story and she still has her job. For now!
But, Jennifer is quitting the MNS company and her excuse is her Son ,who is of marrying age, is moving back to Seattle Washington. And he "needs her". So she is going back to the West Coast! To be there for her adult son! And Melyssa starts crying like someone came in her eyes!
Then she threw major shade at her boss! She said that she feels like Jennifer is her mom! LMAO! Melyssa is 37 years old! This lady can't be much older than her, 5 years at most! So she basically said that Jennifer is an old bat! LMAO!
In our final scene, we visit Demetria's apartment in Brooklyn New York.
Demon-etria is with her loser, doormat fiance Gregg. And Demon has a great idea for the ladies to come together and settle their petty differences. By going on a boat trip! And she is going to invite them by sending them really catty cards that say things like, "Dear Mica, you are a drunk, long faced, Vampire looking Mulatto mess of a whore! You nasty alcoholic slut! ". And, "dear Melyssa, a vagina is made to stretch for a baby. Not for a Parade! An old wise man once told me, that a woman's vagina should never big bigger than her apartment!"
What a catty cunt! And this is why I can't stand Demon-etria!
But I have a card for Gregg and one for Demetria. Dear Demetria. You are an evil fat black bitch! If you lost about 50-75 pounds, you'd be cute! But since you wont stop working your jaws, running to the refrigerator and doing pull ups on the counter. We will never see you in a size smaller than a 20. Like you will never see your feet when you stand and pee at the toilet!
And dear Gregg. Grow a pair bro. You are engaged to a man! Start standing up to him more often. And ps. Please buy some chopstick! You're upper lip is whiter than Brie's circle of friends!
And that was pretty much it for this episode! Next week is the season Finale! Yes! The show has only 9 episodes for it's first season! I don't know why! It was Bravo's biggest debuting audience in the history of the channel!
Anyway!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words,
tell a fucking friend!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 6 Episode 17 | He Said, She Said | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out at Atlanta Beach where you can be a shopaholic and an alcoholic at the same damn time! Cynthia is going bathing suit shopping and drinking a large glass of alcohol
when NeNe walks in. And they're being watched! The store clerk is some nosy white woman who is all up in the business. And she is watching them to make sure they don't steal! Racist cunt!
So anyway, NeNe only wears two piece's. I thought she was referring to her wig, but she was talking about bathing suits. Eww! The women are preparing to go to Mexico! And Cynthia can't wait to show off her body now that those fibroid bubbles have been popped! She had the bubble guts for real!
NeNe says that Marlo turned on her by befriending Kenya and she doesn't want to talk about her ever again! Let alone speak to her! But you know what they say! Elephants never forget!
Speaking of Marlo.Bootylicious Marlo is being visited by Stallion Booty Kenya Moore.
And theirs booty everywhere imn this scene!@ Is this Marlo's apartment, or a Pirate convention? Either way, they're having cocktails! Boy! I'd give Kenya's tail a cock alright!
Marlo admits that she knew that NeNe had an issue with her being friends with Kenya!
She laid down the rules and already explained to her that she had to either choose the horse or the Moose! And she chose the Kenya.
Marlo and Kenya feel that NeNe's real issue is the fact that her acting career is failing miserably! She went from being on 3 different TV. shows simultaneous, to now being forced to go back to the starting line! And just do her old drag queen routine on the Real Housewives of Atlanta! A show which is statistically accurate because only half of the black Housewives are actually married!
Now we're visiting Phaedra and Apollo's house. They're enjoying some time with their two children. Future inmate #1 is trying to catch frogs in the pool with a net. And future inmate #2 is about to be thrown in the pool by Bonnie, I mean Phaedra!
And Bonnie loathes the idea of going on a trip to filthy Mexico because. The last time the group went on a trip. Boonie almost had to shoot Kenya between the eyes! Because Clyde aka Apollo the scammer, decided he was gonna do something with Kenya that he can't do with Phaedra. And that's pick her up, put her on his shoulder. And jump into the pool!
He would have jumped into the pool with Phaedra but. If he did, all of the water would have come out. And the pool would have been left as bare as Kenya's womb!
So, Phaedra is thinking about leaving Apollo to stay with the children while she takes her flamboyant homosexual friend Dwight. Mr. DUI! That way, she wont have to worry about them two sneaking off into the bushes! In other words, no half brother, bank robbing partner for Ayden.
Now Peter is visiting Kordell. And he tells Peter some startling information about his marriage!
His relationship between himself and Porsha was between the two of them and the man upstairs! Not God! But some man was living upstairs! He didn't eat or drink, he never left that bedroom. He'd just peak out and stare from time to time!
To make matters even more complicated. Porsha's family ruined their marriage!
She'd bring 12 people from her family to his house at a time. And one day Porsha's mother was sitting in his bedroom on his cream colored chairs, eating Peperoni Pizza!
And Porsha used to disappear for days at a time! Uh huh! I knew she had a straight man on the side! And come to find out, Porsha hounded Kordell about a divorce for 3 months! So she lied when she said that she found out about him wanting to part ways on twitter! I knew a woman that fine was too good to be true!
Now were finally in Mexico! At the El Dorado Royale Spa Resort by Karisma!
Kenya and Mr. Lawrence traveled a day ahead! And Kenya is such an evil whore, that she's going to leave pictures of herself wearing nearly nothing in the women's rooms! That way Apollo can pretend that he's in his old cell, and masturbate to them!
So NeNe, Gregg, Cynthia, Peter and Porsha arrive. And I'm wondering why Cynthia is dressed like a Sailor. Then I figured it out. Peter is finally gonna get some from Cynthia. And they're gonna do it on the beach so he doesn't make a mess everywhere. So, she dressed like a seaman for the semen! Very clever Cynthia!
So Phaedra is hold out on coming. Like Tantra. She wants to get the word from the girls that the feds aren't around before she gets down there!
In the meantime. NeNe Moose is bragging about arriving earlier than the other women. And I'm thinking, yeah bitch! You were the first one to Mexico and the last one at the hair salon!
Whoop dee fucking hair do! I hope you crack a hoof!
So, Kandi and Todd finally arrive and everyone is so far having a good time.
Then Porsha get's there and steals the show as usual. This time she said something dumber than that time she said that infamous quote. "I know it was racist but. My favorite cartoon was that black exploitation one where Bugs Bunny was tied to the train tracks in the Underground Railroad! Boy they really hated us back then!"
So what did Porsha-tard say this time ? What could she say that could be worse than the infamous Bugs Bunny Underground Railroad story? She said that she is Mexican because her, "baby hairs stay laid!"
No Porsha! Mexican's have hair in their drinking water, and black girls like you buy their hair from dirty Indian girls. Who have hair in their ass!
Come to think of it. You are a Mexican Porsha! You're cheap, stupid, only qualify to work as a maid. You have a big funky family that you tried to cram into Kordells mansion. And no one wants to live near you. Sounds like a Mexican to me! Ha Ha!
So, everyone is having a good time in the stretch Hummer limo from the air port. And Peter says to Porsha, "Porsha, no shade. Because the only shade (Sade) someone as black as me knows is that singer who sings the Sweetest Taboo!"
"I talked to Kordell. And you're a lying heifer! Kordell said you and your family are trifling free loaders! The type to jump up and lay down on a Granite kitchen counter on television, acting like coon casserole"
And Porsha is still lying about loving Kordell. Because she says that she is going to divorce him and immediately show off the new guy to the world! Boy! pretty women must heal fast after break ups!
It's always fun having a fine woman. Until she moves on to the next penis! When Alicia Keys left me, it was very hard to deal with! I'll never get over that dream.
So, the group arrive at the El Dorado Royale. And Kenya is there spinning around half naked and being very racist. She is making that stupid sound that Hispanics make. *rolls tongue!*
And the wet backs almost cut her head off!
Anyways! Mr. Lawrence of course had to come in spinning around being an attention whore just like Kenya! He had on his Poncho, some all white "please Lord don't let me get my period" pants! And a fake beard! So he spent around and acted gay and annoying. We all know how the gays are!
I wonder how many people peeped this! Porsha said the same thing that I said in an earlier review! That Kenya's boyfriend from Africa, is so black that we can't see him. He's invisible!
Like I always say, "Great minds, think like dykes!" Ha ha! But seriously, as retarded as Porsha is, I now under stand why they say that a broken clock is right twice a day. Porsha's so stupid, her spirit animal is a ding bat!
So Kenya shows the group their rooms. And she gave NeNe a presidential suite to match her patriot looking wig! Ands he's telling NeNe that she is giving her this room as an olive branch because...
and before she can finish speaking. Moose ate the damn olive branch! Greedy whore!
Anyway! The place is so beautiful that Gregg hopped up on bed on all fours, and begin bouncing up and down and slapping his own ass! So, I don't want to read any negative comments underneath my videos, crying about me calling NeNe a man! She clearly gives it to Gregg from the back!
If a room on vacation would make Gregg do that. Just imagine what he'd do for a biscuit.
In the next scene. Porsha showed the world an old Ancient African secret! That while white girls do their hair on their head. Black girls pull theirs off to brush it! See, white folks, scalp tickets. Black women scalp Mexican's for their hair. She's been their one day and she already has some poor Mexicunt running around, holding her head like Sleepy Hollow!
So, Porsha hasn't had any booty in so long that she jumped up on Cynthia and ate her out!
But lets move along to the closing scene.
So the group meet up at Jo Jo's Restaurant! And no! K-Ci is not the manager! Anyway! Kenya wants to mix up the couples and have them sit next to people other than their partners.
When they're seated, Gregg tells Porsha that she was a fool for leaving Kordell because he has lot's of money.
And Porsha, whose fed up with all of the Kordell talk. Wants to explain once and for all to everyone why her and Kordell broke up so they can stop asking. So she tells them that at first she did agree to stay home with their child and what not, but things changed. So Todd cut her off and said, "Wait! you mean to tell me that dude had a sex change?" And Porsha was so pissed that she spit at Todd and said, "Shut your little ass up Pinocchio! Before I cut your fucking strings!"
Then she went on to say that Kordell wasn't buying her enough materialistic things so with her being the gold digging whore that she is, she had to go find more lucrative ways to make money to buy expensive things that make wealthy white people even richer! You know! Like spending her life savings on weave!
And come to find out. She married Kordell so that she could help take away the rumors that Kordell is a homosexual! In exchange for him buying her expensive trinkets. In other words, they were in fact in an arranged marriage.
In this scene, Kenya Moore was being so invasive and mean and shady to Porsha. That the Porsha almost got up and broke her neck! So, stay tuned! We just may see Porsha and Kenya go at it. I hope not! Lord knows Porsha can't afford to take a blow to the head! Porsha can afford taking a blow to the head like she can afford an 8,000 square foot mansion, off of synthetic hair and Reality TV. money!
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words,
tell a fucking friend!
Love and Hip Hop | New York SEASON 5 | Atlanta Season 3 | Producer Mona Scott | being sued for $50 Million Dollars!
Nicki Davis and Trisha Lum of 8th Wonder Entertainment are suing the producer of Love and Hip Hop. Mona Scott Young, along with. VH1, MTV NETWORKS, Viacom and Jeff Olde.
For a sum of 50 million dollars! For copyright infringement and breach of contract!
Davis and Lum claim that they pitched an idea to VH1 for a show titled, "Hip Hop Wives".
They wanted to make a Basketball Wives styled show where camera's followed the lives of the wives and ex wives of Hip Hop musicians and moguls.
Some of the women that they had in mind for the program included. Chrissy Lampkin, who is currently engaged to rapper and business entrepreneur, Jim Jones. Debbie Lorenzo, the ex wife of Irving Lorenzo Gotti. Mashonda Tifere, the ex wife of the world's luckiest man, aka Mr. I get to fuck Alicia Keys every night. Better known as, Swizz Beatz. And Tashera Simmons. The ex wife of DMX!
Mona Scott of Monami Entertainment said that. Read about news of the lawsuit on blogs like meetmagazine.blogspot.com!
I will write another blog and video when more news about the situation is reported!
For more celebrity and reality tv related news, reviews, recaps and opinions. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel. And if you likey. Tell a friend!
When Chris Brown, the bull. saw red (Rhianna's hair) and threw a few uppercuts into her direction. The Judge from that case appointed him to live in the Malibu Rehabilitation Facility for 90 days.
The anger management and therapy that he was to receive was supposed to mend his broken mind. And help him to finally get his shit together. And he was told that if he left the place, he'd receive a go directly to jail monopoly card! When he violated, "internal rules", whatever that is, he got the boot!
Chris violated his probation and now he is being held in jail without bond!
Wow! I feel sorry for the pale prisoner! I heard they like the pretty boys in there!
And, the crazy thing about it is, he really does need rehab!
So that way, he can get his life together and get back to making good music!
For more celebrity and reality TV. related news, reviews, recaps and opinions subscribe to my YouTube channel below. And if you likey, tell a friend!
Love and Hip Hop Houston Star | Stripper Jhonni Blaze arrested for boyfriends murder! | New York Season 5 and Atlanta Season 3 related NEWS!
It isn't even the first episode of Love and Hip Hop New York Season 5 and Rich Dollaz girlfriend, booty model, stripper and business woman. Jhonni Blaze (real name: Jzapal Jackson) is already arrested!
The story is developing. But I got word that she was arrested in connection with her boyfriends murder! 30 Year old Brian Washington was shot to death outside of NOX night club on Christmas in 2013. Jhonni blaze left Texas and fled to Atlanta to hide out. But was arrested on March 5, 2014!
So, I will update the story when more news comes in! Their are reports that she has allegedly been fighting in jail! And they had to put her by herself!
Crazy thing about it is, she has only been locked up for well, less than 2 weeks!
Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more! And please check out my reality TV. show reviews! And I will have an update ASAP!
I wonder if her new man Rich Dollaz is gonna help her out!
Anyway! For more celebrity and reality TV related news, review, recaps and opinions.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel below. And if you likey, tell a friend.
