The Real Housewives of Atlanta | Season 6 | Episode 13 | Pillow Talk Or Pillow Fight Review | Recap | Opinion

The Real Housewives of Atlanta | Season 6 | Episode 13 | Pillow Talk Or Pillow Fight  Review | Recap | Opinion

 

 

After watching this show, I will be marrying a white woman!

The episode starts out with some bull dog faced bitch named Phaedra and her flamboyant homosexual, event planner, Dwight, who is wearing his Jungle Book jacket!

The two are planning a party for Phaedra's 6 month old baby Dylan, and the theme is a presidential inauguration. The event will be hosted at a huge estate!

The cost of renting the Mansion is $3850. The invitations are $2850.
They will also be having a champagne bar and caviar. So the cost of the caterer was $4200.

And finally, she wanted a presidential Flash Mob dance, with guys in black suits. Which cost an additional $4,000! For a grand total of $14,900! That's a Toyota!
And obviously the 50-75 guest that Phaedra calls herself entertaining are their for her ego and enjoyment! This party was not for that baby at all! If he is eating caviar and drinking champagne at his age, I need to hang out with him. I mean, she needs to be arrested and deported!

In our next scene, we visit Industry Studios. Cynthia is meeting up with her very black husband with a very white beard named Peter. And Peter's black face and white beard makes him look like a skunk to me! So, I nicked named him Peter Le Peu!

Come to find out, they share the same workspace. Which is funny because, I'd think that his big ass balls would need their own building or at least their own desk! You see Cynthia wont sleep with Peter because, the last time she laid down with that skunk looking mother fucker, it took her 30 tomato baths to get the scent off! Smart girl! 

Anyway, Cynthia tells Peter that NeNe is throwing a couples event, where their will be pillow talk. Kind of like, Truth Or Dare for adults that never grew up!

She then informs Peter that some dark butt with red hair named Kandi, alleges that she knows some stuff about his past. So, Peter will bring this up during Nene's event. But he isn't worried about Kandi! Or, Little Red Riding Hood-Rat as I call her!

Cynthia warns him to be careful where he sprays his skunk juice so she tells him to go easy on the other bitches!

So, now we are catching up Kenya and her bald headed aunt Lori. who spilled Ramen noodles on her head

Kenya is finally ready as a 40 something year old women, to have children.
Stupid America bitches for you! She's knows dang well her eggs are stiff, boiled and rotten! If she does have a baby at her age, it's gonna have more defects than the first batch of PlayStation 4's! Can you say recall?


So, aunt Lori brings up a great point. their family is already screwed up. I mean Kenya's mother gave birth to her, and abandoned her ass in basket on a strangers doorstep. And Kenya's mind is all over the place like Kurt Cobain!  So, the crazy bitch tells aunt Lori that may be bald as an eagle but she is so right!

Side note. Come to find out, like her mother, Kenya doesn't want any girls. how ironic.

So, she sits down with Dr. Thompson. A very black woman, with glittery green eye shadow on. I mean she looks like a leprechaun busted a nut in her eye!
Why would a darky think that she'd look good with that shit on?

Anyway, Dr. Thompson informs her that she has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Kenya has normal hormone levels. The bad news is that her ovarian reserves are diminished. That's a fancy medical way of saying, a bitch aint got no eggs!

So, unless weird science can give her a baby. She'll have to rely on the Bible and the Magic of White Jesus! Yep, as Kenya stated, if God can give Sara, a fictional character in the Bible, a baby at the age of 90. Well, White Jesus can can come down on a cloud and hand her an immaculate conception baby.

Yeah keep praying Kenya! You're gonna need it!

Better find a Stork bitch! Should have been nice in your lifetime, maybe you'd find a real man instead of the Invisible Man over in Africa. I've heard racist jokes all my life about people being so black that you can't see them. Apparently it's true about Kenya's man!

So, the Doctor tells Kenya that her first option is to try and get pregnant by some guy with super sperm, but  Method Man is in a relationship so, they aint gonna happen. The other option is donor eggs.

But Kenya wants to have a child with her own DNA. Yeah right! You better adopt! Why curse a baby with your raggedy genetics? And at your age, with your genes, that baby will come out with a horn on the top its head and mooing!

Anyway, Kenya begins talking with the Dr. about stupid ideas like having turkey basting parties, where a woman lays, back with her legs spread, and her friends come in with a bucket of sperm and super soaker water guns and shoot it up her canal! Sounds messy!


So Kenya decides that seeing that she loves sperm, visiting a sperm bank would be a great idea. she might have to make a withdrawal, and put her money where her mouth is!

And when she finds out that she can pick a sperm donor who went to Harvard, the stereotypical black gold digging bitch was sold on the idea!

Now were at the Kandi Factory.

And it's 9 weeks to the opening night of Kandi's play. She meets up with her manager Don Juan, who looks like the gay version of the rapper The Game. And for whatever reason her jobless fiance, Todd the opportunist. is there.

And the gay guy, Don Juan,  who is obviously jealous of my boo thang Porsha, begins making fun of her. He starts imitating her singing Amazing Grace. Which is of course her signature song. And this clown claims to not like drama, yet he is sitting up there making fun of Porsha almighty! I'm gonna roast him good in a future review.

Moving along...

Kandi informs Todd that Cynthia said that he is a male gold digger, that would be better suited for Kenya.

And then she tells him about Nene's pajama party.
At first, the thought of Todd wearing his speedo and nipple tassels around a room full of adults disturbed him. But Kandi, being the bread winner in their relationship, told him that yes, he will in fact be coming! Yeah, she Son'd him!


So, now we are catching up with Kenya Moore and her gay friend Mr. Lawrence, and he forces people to call him Miss Lawrence. Because he likes to pretend that he is a female.

And as a pretentious little bald headed, high heeled shoe wearing, negative homosexual stereotype, he can barely get into the sperm bank door good, and he's at the front desk, asking the receptionist, Ms. Jill, a real woman. For some of the business's "spare lube" that may be laying around. He'd like some for his booty hole!

I mean, what type of pushy twink walks into a business, bald headed, wearing heels, and sporting the most annoying, nasally congested voice of all time and just asks people for lubricants for his anus? Devil!

And of course Kenya was rightfully embarrassed! And most people probably didn't catch something. He said that they have the best lube! WOW! So, he has been to the sperm bank before! He must have thought that it was a sperm bar, and he wanted to have a drink! You know, get cum drunk! Yeah, a gay dude knowing all about the lube at the sperm bank! I hope that he isn't a donor! Gays don't reproduce for a reason. So stay in your lane buddy! Keep driving the Hershey high way. No woman in her right mind is trying to inject herself with sperm that looks like gravy, if you know what I mean!

How you doin?

So, Lawrence and Kenya are sitting there in the lobby when a sperm donor walks by. And the show must have payed this funny looking, oddly shaped head having mother fucker! Because these two are pretending this man is paradise on legs!

And this broke ass man stood up there and told a flat out lie. Well several lies!  Typical black guy. He claims that he wants to nut in as many cups as possible because he is the last of his family lineage and he is good looking. In reality, he is just broke and desperately needs that little $50 for cumming in a  cup that he receives. Poor black guy with out a job.

So, now Sheridan of Xytex Corporation pops up and brings them to meet Michael.

CUM to find out, a cup of nut cost $475 per sample!
And they have open identity donors.

So the gold digger, Kenya, begins asking whether they have Michael Jordan or Obama's sperm there. Because like so many crazy black bitches, she is obsessed with idea of having a child with celebrity. Oh boy!

So, she has a list of qualities for her donor. He has to be funny, affectionate, well groomed, no body odor, over 6 feet four inches tall, handsome with full lips, a nice slender nose, and she'd prefer green eyes.

And this is why black bitches like Kenya will die single. HaHa. Nah but all jokes aside,. Peter has more sperm in 1 ball than that whole sperm bank has ever had since they opened! She could always let Peter make a baby with her. But she'd have to fuck Skunk man in Olympic pool!

In our next scene, it's time for Phaedra's party that she claims is for her baby.
Yeah, Dylan's fake Inauguration. That orangutang looking bitch will never give birth to a future president. Unless he's gonna be the president of, "mommy defending daddy in court LLC!"

Anyway, the party was alright I guess. Even though the thugged out white boy that Phaedra is married to, refused to dance with his fat wife. I don't blame him!
He saw her in that Black and white polka dot dress, looking like a fat black lady bug and wasn't hearing that.

So now we are at some fat man name NENE's house for this stupid adult slumber party. And he she has the same hair cut as Dennis the Menace.

Anyway, after everyone arrives, minus Kenya and her sidekick. A man and woman come through to serve the guests as half naked waiter and waitress. And I was like, ohh, that chick is hot! Then that cross dresser named NENE told her to twirl around and her ass looked like she sat on a barbed wire fence! She had dents, and cuts and all sorts of disgusting shit going on! God must hate her! Man, I swear light skin bitches stay losing! I'd still smash though!

So, NeNe the transtesticle is prancing around like a horse in heat. Showing off his outfit and being annoying. Thankfully a ball didn't fall out from beneath that dress! Anywho,  NeNe announced that this event is about helping with the guests relationships. And they are going to play some questions and answers game.

So our gracious co-host, Princess Porsha passes out some cards to all of the guest.

And after a few questions are asked, Peter the Skunk has a card that reads, "Would you feel comfortable with your lover being bisexual?"

So, NeNe blurts out, "Porsha, that may be a question that you can answer!"

Really my man? It's like that NeNe? These tranny's are really getting out of hand nowadays! They have no respect for women!

Porsha being the high class, intelligent, poised and down right perfect Goddess that she is promptly responded to Caveman NeNe by saying, "I wouldn't be comfortable with my man being bi-sexual, or heterosexual, nothing. You need to be all about Porsha sexual if you're with me".

Wow! her own sister just sat there with a look on her face like, "is this bitch retarded?" I bet this bitch can't count from 1 to syrup! I can see me being married to this idiot now. If I hand her a Christmas gift, she'd be all crying and stuff and hugging me! And thanking me! Then she'd look me in the eye say, "that's the most beautiful box that anyone has ever given me!

But you know what. I don't care if Porsha is so stupid that she thought the Underground Railroad was a TV show hosted by Don Cornelius! I'd still wreck Porhsa like Paul Walker!


So Kenya Whore! I mean Kenya Moore pops up with her gay ass friend Brandon. And when Nene sees who it is at the door, she shuts the door in her face! Boy that transvestite Nene sure knows how to start a fight! And Kenya stays loosing. She can't have babies, her mom abandoned her and now Nene is shutting the door in her face. Poor thing! But, she can always jump off of a bridge I guess!


Anyway, Kenya looks hot of course, seeing that her looks are the 1 thing that she does have going for her. And he gay pet didn't even wash its paws before the little bitch started digging his paws in the food! I for one know that peoples eating habits express their etiquette in the bed room. For example, if a person eats sloppily, they eat sloppily! People who gulp down food, gulp down genitalia. And homos that don't wash their hands before eating, don't wash their butt before eating either. Just saying *snaps*

So come to find out me and Porsha are compatible as I thought because she doesn't want her man going to the strip club. Something that as of now, unless I was shooting a movie, music video etc. I'd never do.  That's what poles in the bedroom are for. I guess losers who pay bitches to strip at the club don't know porn stars. Oh well, keep making it rain you fucking losers! LMAO! Anyway, back to the show.

So, Peter is very defensive about people not condoning strip clubs visits. He states that he loves the strip club, as well as Apollo the career criminal who married a lawyer because he always needs one,  and Todd the opportunist goes as well. Because his next come up could be right there on stage!

He claims that the club isn't so much like a club but rather more like an office.
And that he would pay for his friend to get a lap dance, but Peter, a guy that only gets his dick wet in the shower, claims that he wont allow a woman to rub up on his skunk pole!

And I'm left thinking, that his stupid comments about not receiving lap dances is like when a guy claims to read playboy for the articles. I mean, Peter's balls are so full, it looks he has a bubble butt in the front of his pants. And this little stinker is gonna sit up their and lie and pretend that he wouldn't let a bitch sit on his lap at the mall whilst being dressed like Jet Black Santa Clause? Negro you lie!

 Come to find out, Apollo the scam artist couldn't adopt a drug addiction or a gambling addiction like most losers, this guy has a strip club addiction. He has wasted $5,000 and even $8,000 in 1 night! You can start a record label with that. Or sponsor a Porsha for a month with $13,000.

In his defense, he said the same things to Ne Ne that I would have, you spend your money on shoes, it's my money! That's right Apollo Creed! Plus it's just money!

So NeNe calls out Kenya about the trash that she talked about Christopher and Natalie. And Christopher tells Kenya that he doesn't know what kind of medication that she is on . And Kenya, the ex model that has been reduced to being a reality TV spectacle, says that she is on the same medication that Christopher is on. Then she decides to hop up and approach Natalie talking shit!

So Chris, in a very respectful way, gently grabs Kenya's arm, and as he is calmly speaking to her. Kenya's gay pet Brandon, who has been fooled into thinking that he is Suge Knight because he is bald and brown and wearing all red. Decides to push  Chris's hand away and start screaming like  Banshee at him.


So, they start screaming about hands and touching.And I haven't seen black people so hyped up about hands and touching since Micheal Jackson had his sleepovers! Who besides me misses the 90's?

So anyway, Brandon is yelling at Chris and what not, and Peter the Skunk hops up, and starts spraying people with his skunk juice and jumps up in between them! When Chris got a sniff and a whiff of that skunk spray, he pushed Brandon back. And Brandon almost beat the moth balls out of Peter, just to get to Chris!
 

Then Apollo, the criminal, the animal himself hops up and pushes Brandon down on a couch and begins attacking him! Brandon must look like his old cell mate or something because he laid hands on him like a TV. preacher! Man, Reality TV. keeps light skinned people losing!

I wonder if this homo-cide, ass whooping will be considered to be a hate crime. Who knows? What I do know is that  Chuck did the same thing that I would have done. HID! Damn right! I'm not getting scratched or beaten for reality TV!

And that was about it.  The show will not air for 2 weeks! So that means that the January 26 2014 episode will not resume until February 9,2014! I will give "And this is why I'll be marrying a white woman" one more chance! Yeah, I'll watch and review episode 14 of season 6 of Real Housewives of Atlanta!

See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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