Why I don't tell racist jokes anymore! And why you shouldn't either! MEET MAGAZINE TRUE STORIES! - "little laughs comedy club"
You can get hurt telling the wrong joke to the wrong crowd. Hell, I'll tell you a quick story about me! And why I write a blog and make vlog's for youtube!
One day I'm at this local coffee shop. Minding my business and enjoying a cup of coffee. How I like my women. Light and sweet. And I noticed that their was a flyer sitting there on the table. And it read, "little laughs comedy club! talent night! all are welcome! come on down and show us what you got! yes homo!"
Now, I have heard of the saying, "no homo" before. But this was the first time I had ever heard of, "yes homo". So, I figured that it was a joke, considering it was a comedy club. And I went on down there. I'll never forget that Tuesday!
I always wanted to be famous so, I figured this performance would be my big debut. I was extremely nervous and this would be my opportunity to get rid of my stage fright! I had to do it!
I don't want to bore anyone with too many details. Maybe I will tell the full sorry later. But the gist of it is this! I had no idea that, "little laughs comedy club" was a gay midget comedy club.
Now, I am not homophobic, or racist or sizest! But I made the biggest mistake of my life and nearly died that night!
When I got on stage, I was so nervous that I forgot my first line. It was my big chance, and all the little gay people were starring at me like I was an alien or some shit. And this little Gaysian (Gay Asian) - midget walks in, and he's in full on drag! And he sits down in the audience, adjust his balls under his mini skirt and says to the guy sitting next to him. "I wonder what this big black monkey mountain is gonna say".
I could have ignored him. But I said, no! This is my big chance! If I say something witty, then this will be legendary! When I make it big, the cell cam videos of the act will be all over the internet!
At first I was gonna say something about him being a pink chopstick. Since he is a gay Asian. Then I said. Nah, way too juvenile!
So I was gonna say something like. I would be scared that you're gonna kick my ass. But your little stumpy legs can't reach that high! Even with all of that pink belt, Queerati you Gaysians practice!
But I said, no! That's too harsh!
I had been up on stage in dead silence for several seconds, so I said fuck it! And said the first thing that come out of my mouth!
I will never forget these words!
So, the gay Asian midget says, "I wonder what this big black monkey mountain is gonna say".
Now I assumed he was Chinese! All Americans assume that all Asians are Chinese! He wasn't And I didn't know what I was saying! I said, "Monkey Mountain? Fuck you. Ching Chong, Tranny Devito!"
He quickly stood up! Balls falling out of his mini skirt and all. And sharply replied. "In my country, Ching Chong means mother fucker! And Tranny means cross dressing trans-testicle.. Devito means to do or commit. You just called me a transsexual who fucks his own mother! I'm gonna beat the watermelon flavored Koo-laid out of you nigger!"
And like clock work! Those midgets, all 250 of em! Surrounded me and beat the shit out of me. They didn't just kick me! They kicked IN ME! Like they literally put their feet inside me. I had so many little feet in me, I felt like Octomom!
True story! So remember folks. If you wanna tell racist jokes. A gang of gay angry midgets, led by a Gaysian, are gonna stomp you flat! You've been warned!
