Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 7 | Messy All Over the World | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 7 | Messy All Over the World | Review | Recap | Opinion 

 

 

The episode starts out at Stadium Red in Harlem New York.

Saigon is in the studio rapping in the sound proof booth, wearing his sons shirt and hat. And Erica Jean comes by so that he can apologize for being bi polar, and full of shit! I mean for being a jerk, and throwing her pocket book in the bushes! So, the midget stands up on a chair and says that he is sorry but, his dad did it to his mom so get over it!

Of course whistle mouth accepts his apology. And the two agree on making a trip to the therapist to make sure that the baby is okay after all! I can't help to notice that this appears to be a continuous pattern with these two. Saigon has a jail mentality and he doesn't know what to do without white people being there to guide him! And he only seems to be able to smash with make up sex!

Think about it! When he wanted her to take a DNA test to confirm the paternity of their child. They argued and then she complied, and they sent the test off to the white man. It comes back, and they kiss and make up! Same thing in this situation! They have an explosive argument in public, they go see some white people, and then everything is fine and he gets to fall into the GAP!

The best part of this scene is when he tells her that he loves to see her smile! She'll never hear that lie in her lifetime ever again! This chicks two front teeth are in a long distance relationship. And you love to see that smile? You lying fucking midget! Oh well, as small is he is, all he can tell is little lies!


In the next scene, we take a trip to 30th Street Guitars in Midtown New York City!

Amina and Peter are meeting up. And Peter is all ready not wearing his wedding ring! And he is still sleeping at Tara's place! Amina is about start biting necks!
But Peter soothes her savage vampire nature by letting her know that her expressing anger, or disappointment is acting like Tara in his eyes. After a few lines about the kids missing him, and how they are the only reason why he is there, she is back under his spell!

I swear, this fool should be a Preacher! He'd have a place to live, and he'd get to lie to women all of the time! Anyways! Amina tells him that she wants to eat, I mean meet the children.

Peter lets Amina know that Jameson is cool but Kaz is a little snitch, so she can meet the quite one! Amina lets Peter know that he needs to severe ties with Tara and start acting like a husband. Ha ha! Good luck with that one!

Now we pay a visit to Rich's apartment in Edgewater New Jersey.
Erica Mena stops by, and Rich has to explain his stupid idea of hiring Peter Gunz to manage Erica Mena! He basically wanted Peter to help with day to day operations. Erica feels that Peter needs to mind his own business and worry about his own problems.

Erica stresses to Rich that she fully understands that she isn't perfect. But Peter is
And at the end of the day, she wants Rich more than anything in the world! In other words, this lame, thirsty, no game having bastard is packing! Why else in the world would Erica Mena want this guy. I'm not hating! I am happy for Rich!


Now, we take a trip to Platinum Studios in Hells Kitchen NYC! Rich has  a meeting with Yandy! And when we see Rich Dollaz on Love and Hip Hop New York. He is usually either doing 1 of 4 things! He's  #1 drinking, #2 counseling a man on something stupid that he did to a woman. #3 Being yelled at by a woman. Or #4 a woman is crying to him about something stupid that she did! So with that said lets see what the fuck Yandy wants!

Yandy lets Rich know that when they last saw each other. And she was dressed like Shonuff from The Last Dragon. The reason why she yelled at him like he was an inferior little troll was because, she was on her period! I mean she was stressed out about business and Mendecess possibly having to wear a diaper when they're done with him in jail!

Anyway! She starts crying and carrying on about Bail hearings that are supposed to happen that never do, yada yada yada! Yandy! You choose to be with a drug dealer because he had curly hair and, "swagger". Do like the other single mothers with babies daddies in jail do, and get some dick. Then call the Dr. in the morning! We'll get to that tramp in a minute!

I think that Yandy's crying didn't work on her dad, so now she crying to Rich! Next thing you know the kids will be with Rich, or with her mom! Looks like Yandy will be taking a vacation! To get her mind off of things. I think that she just needs a vibrator. And to move on from Mendecees!

Now we are at MBK Entertainment in Midtown NYC. K. Michelle has been going through a few things with her team behind the scenes. It seems like no one is competent in their job. Except for her closet full of wigs!

Being the gutter butt, country trailer trash that she is, K. Michelle lets her co manager, Jeanie Mclean know that she needs some dick and a visit from the Ghost Hunters to search her haunted house for evil spirits. And when I say house, I mean VAGINA! Jeanie politely lets this nut case know that they are managers and not an escort service!


So now we are at Gaslight, in the Meat Packing Districts of NYC!
Team Waffle, Rich and Peter are meeting up to discuss Erica trying to feed soup kitchen Peter with a plate! And this conversation has to go by fast so that Peter can continue training for the Bum Fights championship!

Peter tells Rich that he has to chose between Royalty or Ratchetness! And he doesn't explain to us which one is supposed to be which! Rich doesn't want to pick between the two. However seeing that Erica makes him money and it costs money to raise a Peter! If Rich does have to choose, he chooses perfect 10 Erica Mena, over sponsoring that black foot homeless child known as Peter!

I said in an earlier review that I think that Peter may be Rich's muscle. You know, like if someone has to get beaten up or shot! And Peter lets it be known. That Rich can't rely on him anymore for defense. Or when some guys wanna come at Rich's neck, as he put it! Yeah, Peter is nothing but trouble, all the way around!

Now were at Oz Studios in Midtown NYC! We are once again checking in with the queen of Ratchet, K. Michelle.  But she isn't alone. She brought some big nasty looking woman named Tracie Renee up in there, whose butt is shaped like a shitty diaper. And of course fat Paris had to show up too! They must have had food somewhere!

Anyway, K. Michelle starts shedding big fake crocodile tears about blogs like Mediatakeout.com spreading alleged rumors about her being pregnant! The funny thing about it is, she thinks that her ex assistant Brianna is a nut case for crying over eating chicken despite being a vegetarian! Just to keep a job, and please K. Michelle! The poor thing just may have eaten her own  child to keep the job too!

Yet, you sit up there crying with fat girls about pregnancy rumors on the internet? You're lucky that anybody is talking about you at all! Stop beating people with flowers and maybe someone will have sympathy for you. You need to go make friends, and make out with Dutchess Lattimore from Black Ink Crew! You two are perfect for each other!

Oh, and before I move on from this silly subject. I just remembered something. The blogs posted pictures of her humungous, penis fly trap. That she affectionately calls her "woo ha"! The pictures show that she has a kangaroo pouch between her legs, and her pussy so big that she can smuggle big headed Mexican's into America over the border! Despite multiple photos, in multiple outfits, this crazy idiot claims that the images were, "photo shopped".  Really bitch?

Moving along!

Now we are AT Yandy's office in Brooklyn. And she receives a call from her jail bird boyfriend. She hangs up the phone with whoever she is talking to take his call! Now that's a business woman! Anyway,Mendecee has yet another alleged bail hearing looming.

At this point, Mendecees bail hearings are like that dad, that calls his son up on the phone and swears that he is going to pick him up, but doesn't show up!
We'll just have to wait and see!


Now were at Marcus Vineyard in Brooklyn with Tahiry and Lexi! They are still trying to figure out how they can save their father from skipping to house to house like Peter Gunz! And Lexie throws out the idea of having some sort of concert to raise money! And, I hope that she wouldn't hire Joe Budden! Because they'd need more than 20 concert goers to raise enough money to help their father!

Tahiry thinks that they need to send their father money to keep the raggedy place that he already has!  Lexie feels that Tahiry is being flaky! And Lexie, who is shaped like a bag of potatoes, hates flaky!

She appears to have abandonment issues. I don't if she was left behind at the museum during a class trip. Or if her mother dropped her off on some strangers doorstep but something happened! Life has been rough to Lexie! She should totally take her frustrations out at the gym! Nah, but seriously, I hope that she doesn't hurt anyone, including herself. I smell a crazy island girl, ticking time bomb! Rhianna part 2 right here! Just you wait and watch!

I don't know whether or not we will ever know the whole truth about these two, but I do believe that Lexie cannot trust Tahiry. And Tahiry is full of shit. I mentioned this in earlier reviews, I am not fan of Tahiry, or Taranasha! Anyway, they ended off the scene early because Lexie stormed off crying in the bathroom. These two bore me and annoy me so much that I wish their was a portal in that damn bathroom that would make them just disappear!


Now it's time to take a trip to Panama and visit our favorite fake lesbians. Erica Mena and the Gaucamole Gangster, the Taco Terrorist, the Chipotle Chola, with her refriend bean drawn on eye brows, yup, slightly sloppy Cyn Santana!

Anyway! The Dyke-namic duo bonded by dancing, playing and dildoing on the beach. And some poor island woman may have abandoned her little big headed baby because I saw Erica holding the little miho! Now, I have never seen Erica holding her own child but, at least I got to see her interact with children. She actually didn't look out of place in a motherly role.Let me stop. I am #TeamEricaMena 100% ! All day everyday!


I must warn you. What I have to say about this next scene may shock and offend you. Viewer and reader descretion is strongly advised!

So, Team Midget, Snake mouth and Head detective are finally going to therapist. In my opinion, hey need to be taking snake to the dentist. Maybe in the next episode!
Anyway, they arrive at Dr. CarMicheals office in Midtown NYC. And this is false advertising off the bat! I don't see any cars or any Jackson! CarMichaels my ass! They wouldn't get a dime from me for that reason alone! And before I really go into this scene. I just want to say this!

I now know why he threw this Erica's bag! He reached out with those little Kangaroo arms, and thought that he grabbed her! And when he figured out that he only got her bag, he threw it the bushes out of frustration! If you pay attention, whenever they get into an argument. She never tells him to go beat his dick, because he can't reach it! Mmm Hmm, remember when they were arguing in the car, in front of Erica's crazy fathers house? You're telling me that you didn't see his booster seat? Hell, when they were in the restaurant he was sitting in a high chair!  Anytime a man list, "the rattle" as an instrument that he plays. You know that he's tiny! Just wanted to let you know that little guy! I mean, little Sai.

Anyway, Saigon was right! His son, according to 2 doctors testimony, has in fact not been being stimulated on a daily bases! The speech pathologist suggested that they see a psychologist. Which means that fake butt has been shooting paint balls out of her gap instead of teaching that boy something!

I don't understand what Sponge Bob could be doing with her time! She has no job! She's wearing the same dress in this scene that she was wearing when he read the DNA results!  It's not like she goes shopping with her time. Or is busy getting her hair done! And Lord knows that she does spend any time picking food out of her teeth! Damn you Saigon! You should have known that something wasn't right when her dumb ass tried to read a coloring book the baby!

And fuck all of y'all talking about. How dare he go in on Queen La-teetha like that? I talk about her like this because she a bow legged mouth and I'm tired of looking at that Geedy Gap! Not greedy, but geedy. Because it ate the "R"! Selfish bitch needs to give Peter guns an apartment in that space in her mouth! Sitting up there flossing her mangled mouth with shoe strings instead of speaking to her baby! Pathetic!

Anyway Dr. Chloe CarMichael informs us about some terrible news!, The other Dr. wrote down that Steven, or little B. Bangs his head when he's angry or upset, so that he can get his words out! I guess we now know what to get him for Christmas. A hat that says, "out of order" on it.

You gotta love this cute Dr. named Chloe! She held back her laughter when she saw how Saigon's son is taller than him. And she didn't call Erica Jean, field  goal mouth or kick a football at her even once! Now that's a professional!


For the record. Fuck y'all that sat around judging Saigon for wanting a DNA test! With all of that head butting that the boy is doing. Saigon probably thought that he was Chad Ocho Cinco's son! All I know is. They better get him a helmet quick! Because his brain is gonna look like the inside of Mendecees ass the way that he's going! Sheesh!

Nah but seriously Saigon! You only have yourself to blame. You know damn well that Erica sling shot mouth Jean is retarded as a fuck! And you're a midget. Now you wanna complain when your baby come out thinking that he's a hammer head shark! Really, mother fucker, really?!!!

You knew as soon as she spoke, that her Genes, had holes in them. She talks like she has no tongue. Then to top it off, when you see a normal person smile, you see a little sparkle on their tooth. When she smiled at you, everything went black! Come on son! And then you know that when you ejaculate, your sperm has band aids and crutches on them! So, what did you really expect? Don't try to shit diamonds you idiot!

I just feel sorry for that, poor baby! Next thing you know, we'll find out that Erica Jean and Saigon are related! And I thought that my life was fucked up!

Anyway, Cutie Chloe is gonna teach their little boy how to talk. Seeing that Erica Jean must have gone to school with Fantasia!

Anyway. Now we are at Greenhouse in Soho NYC. Don't ask me why K. Michelle has long fake red hair and a referee shirt on. She like she's starring in a movie titled, "Rhianna goes to Prison". And don't ask me why Paris looks like a big black Disco Ball!
These two goofey broads are celebrating K. Michelle's album hitting number 2 on the Billboard album sales charts!

Anyway, they get inside and Messy Yandy is there with an artist, that looks a lot like Grafh! I am not sure whether or not that was him though. Anyway!

Peter and Amina show up. And before they can sit down good, Yandy notices her cousin Peter Gunz wedding ring. (And yeah, according to her grandfather, they are cousins!) Anyway! Her fellow mean girl, K. Michelle asks Peter when the last time he slept with Tara was! And nasty, messy Yandy says, do you really think that he is going to sit here in front of his wife and tell you that he slept with Tara three weeks ago? And this right here is why Yandy and K. Michelle deserve every tear that they shed in this episode.

These two have bad Karma! They are Villains! Too bad their nemesis's Erica Mena and Chrissy Lampkin didn't show up with brass knuckles and spiked bats! I am sure that if Erica brought K. Michelle the cup cakes that she brought Angela Yee, these two wig warriors would have had an immediate shift in the attitude department!

Anyway, Peter says that one of these days, he will have to sit with both of these women and his life will be exposed. Yeah, in the next episode! And he said that both of them may leave him and that may be the best thing to happen to him! Yeah Peter! You probably have some of your stuff at 2 groupies houses right now. Two new women! One of the most offensive parts of Peters confession to Yandy and K. Michelle, is when he toasts and says, "Praise the Lord!" Trust me Peter, Lucifer doesn't cosign your bull shit!

And Amina is Clueless! She's been conned once again into believing that whatever they were discussing was in his past and he has moved on from Tara!
But, what I am concerned with is this. Why does Amina sound like Daffy duck having a seizure when she talks?

She sounds like she has a mouth guard on when she speaks! You're a singer, not a boxer, bitch! Spitting when you say, "Mississippi" is one thing. But you're not supposed to spit when you say, "hi". And and it's not normal to lisp when you yawn. Peter needs to take her to see Chloe! I've talked to cats that speak English better than Mike Tyson! I mean Amina!

In our next scene, we make visit to Cynergy Spa with America's favorite fake lesbian duo! And yes, Cynergy is spelled with a C, like Cyn Santana! These two are back from Panama, and they decide to take a dyke dip in the bath tub to have a Latina Toast! By bumping Taco's of course! Anyway, they are pretending to be in love, trying their hardest to like each other as more than friends, and with all of this awkward kissing. I wont believe that they are real lesbians until I see somebody give somebody the "circles!" Now that's entertainment!

In the next scene. Yandy is meeting up the Adultery avenger, Taranasha Wallace!
They meet up outside of Ground Support. And sit down on a bench as if they are waiting for a bus. Hopefully not the one driven by Stevie J! Anyway, Tara is dressed like she should be. Like she lives in a barn.  She must have been shoveling some of that Peter feet feces! And Yandy has on a skimpy little white outfit as if she is about to attend a hookers wedding.

And I can tell that Tara has moved on to new penis! Because like a typical woman who has moved on to the next one, she has a new hairdo! And she is dressed differently. I never saw her dressed like she works with horses before! And just like MiMi, I bet the new guy is as straight as a grape! I'm talking Jellyfish wrist! Just wait and watch!
Anyway! They are discussing the scene where Amina and Peter bumped into K. Michelle and Yandy!

Yandy informs Tara that Peter spoke very nicely of her, and her mothering skills. However he lied about not knowing when the last time he stick his Peter inside of her. And in a classic display of too much information. Tara tells Yandy, that not only does she sleep with Peter whenever she wants, over the last 2 months, she has probably taking 2 plan B pills! In other words Peter has been going raw like a vegan!

Up until this point, I didn't like Tara. And with that epic stupidity being displayed, and the aroma of adultery nestled in my nostrils. I so hope that Tara doesn't bring her old adulterous looking neck back next season! The lines on her neck, her new hairdo. The whole, she is a better quality of whore meat than Amina act, I mean,  I'm just done with her.

In our final scene, we pay a visit to Grand Canal Court to play some basket ball with Peter Gunz and my little pony, I mean Saigon! And midget man is doing handicapped tricks like, passing the ball behind his back. And living up to his Indian name! Saigon in the Indian language translates to "Little Arms!"

I mean seriously! His arms are so short, one day he was road raging, and he tried to flip somebody off and poked himself in the eye! Their is no reason to have arms that short! Shit! If he tried to hug himself all he'd do was clap! And all Erica Jean does is mock him with that gap! Talking about, "My teeth can do something that your arms can't do. And that's reach out!"

Nah for real though! I'd hate to be Saigon! Because if the police ever run up on him and say, "Hey nigger turn around, and put your hands on your head". He's gonna turn around, lift them little ass arms up. And be like, oops! "I can do the chest now! The head ain't happening".

Anyway!

The game was cut short because Planned Parenthood's costumer of the month, two months in a row! Tara Wallace shows up! And she bum rushes the court!
Peter didn't recognize her at first because of the new hairdo! He nearly called her one of his other bitches names, until he notice the candy necklace man of Plan B pills!

Tara walks up on Peter, and with the power of flat butt and flat acting, she lets him have it! She let that jerk know that she doesn't appreciate being embarrassed in front of short bus K. Michelle who has a haunted pussy! And Yandy who has a man whose going to probably be in prison for the next 20 years, with a line in the showers longer than Black Friday, waiting for their turn to pull his curly hair out!
If you gotta impress somebody, Yandy and K. Michelle are the last people to worry about! You stupid bitch! Walking pill bottle! Shut the fuck up!

Anyway! Taranasha has no issues with committing adultery, with a homeless man who sleeps on her corroded couch. Yet she is ranting and raving to Peter about him wearing a ring! And some how viewers think that she is the smart, woman in this? And the better catch compared to Amina?

Anyway. At the end of the scene Peter lets Tara know that he fake loves her.
To which Tara replies, "Who gives a fuck about love?"  And you know what Tara? You're right!

So, since Tara doesn't want anything to do with love. And the only thing Hip Hop about her is working at Guitar Center. This needs to be her first and last season!
If not, then next season Tara will do just like Joseline Hernandez and Tami Roman, she'll be having abortions on TV!  Just remember this Tara, before you have your abortion. I have a fortune cookie for you. And it reads, "Vacuum your floors, before you vacuum your womb! That's all!

See you next week for my review.

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Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 10 | You Got Some Stupid Ears | Review | Recap | Opinion

Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 10 | You Got Some Stupid Ears | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

 

Time for the Black Stink, I mean Black Ink Crew review, recap and opinion. It's episode 10 already! And this one is titled, "You Got Some Stupid Ears". Let's get into it!

The episode starts out with Ted and Tiffany in the shop. Then Dutchess and Ceaser walk in looking pitiful. Dutchess is letting out her inner animal today. Her animal print dress shows that she's a Cheetah! Get it? Cheetah, cheater. Because starving Marvin was eating it up right? Yeah so, anyway! O'Shit and Walt show arrive at the show next.

Dutchess says that she doesn't care about the other people going to Puma's bachelor party and that she doesn't care about them coming back either. So, she doesn't care if they live or die. I guess that 's what that means. Anyway, Ceaser states that the strip club that they went to in the last episode must have been the worst one that he has ever frequented.

Dutchess says that she doesn't understand what Ceaser was thinking. Being at Puma's bachelor party is crack head city! And top models don't strip for crack heads!
 

But forget all of that! The infallible, super model Tiffany Winter, who just happens to be half Jamaican, and half Polish asks whether Ceaser and Dutchess will be attending Puma's wedding in Jamaica. Ceaser says, "Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah!" Dutchess replies by saying, if cone head, I mean Ceaser is going, then yeah, she's going too! Puma better have the dog house ready for Dutchess!


In the next scene Dutchess gets a visit from Beverly! The Latina that she drew the Phoenix rising from a Lotus flower on. After some healing it is finally time to color it in! I can't help but to notice that Beverly looks like one of those Mob Wives! She has that whole, "Crime Family" look to her! Don't shoot Beverley! Just saying!


Anyway! Beverly states that her Karma tattoo that Dutchess drew on her is the one that people love the most! And she says that she believes in Karma. Dutchess says that she doesn't believe in Karma. But she does believe in the Golden Rule. Aka, Luke 6:31  "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

 Which means that Ceaser is gonna cheat on her with his ex right? *clears throat*

Anyway, this pretty bird gets some color on that pretty bird carved into her leg! And it looks fantastic! That Phoenix looks like Toucan Sam! It's a pretty rainbow Phoenix! Rising from flames. And you thought that Dutchess was good for nothing?  Ha ha!


In the next scene, Puma meets up with Quani at Sylvia's restaurant. The couple are talking about Puma's Bachelor party. Come to find out, they go to strip clubs together so, the debauchery is something that she personally enjoys! But forget all of that! Quani is an interesting name, and all, but I may start calling her coiny. Because her gap looks like a coin slot! She looks like if I slipped a quarter in her mouth and turned her ear, candy would pop out! Just don't ask which end! And don't eat the Snickers! It's not made of chocolate!

Puma lets Quani know that he is contemplating inviting Ceaser to their wedding in Jamacia. Quani is okay with Ceaser coming and not okay with Dutchess being there.
You see, Dutchess questioned whether or not Puma was the father of Quani's child.
And she went so far as to flat out call her a floozie! A trollop!  A loose in the caboose, goose. Or as you Urban Contemporaries would word it, a "Hoe"!

I couldn't help but to notice something in this scene. Quani's engagement ring! Puma must of gotten it from Arkansas. Because that's a little rock! Now, that's a struggle ring if I've ever seen one!  I am not sure of which 25 cent machine Puma got it from but damn! If he told her that he got a ring, that was an "invisible set". Yeah, that stone is almost invisible! And it's not a diamond! It appears to be a sapphire. When I get some free time, I'll put a magnifying glass to the screen and figure it out! The last time I saw something that small, blue and pitiful, I was looking at Eazy E! Rings like this is why they say, "it's the thought that counts!"


In the next scene, we're with the God of mistakes, mess ups and the inventor of internet memes! O'Shit finds out that the cops illegally searching the vehicle that he was in, may lead to him getting out of the charges that he currently faces!

And I'm left thinking, that this is like attracting like in it's purest form! This idiots folly has potentially brought him good fortune for once! He should make sure to not ruin it! You know, like don't walk under ladders, don't let black cats cross your path, and get a vasectomy! Anyway, he does a very early celebration dance that looked like crackheads on ice!

But the celebration doesn't stop there. He gets even more good news. Coley, aka O'Shits first babies mom, or the White one. And their daughter Lula, are in town to pay him a visit. He informs Lulu that they are going to the zoo today! She'll be somewhat disappointed when she finds out that the zoo is his job! Yup! Black Ink is a zoo! A bunch of animals and Lion Tamer Tiffany Winter!

Mmm! Love me some Tiffany!

So, he brings his main family to the shop.

Lulu wants Ceaser to dress up like a clown so that she can laugh at him! Gotta love kids! She doesn't realize that Ceaser was born a clown! Anyway, he lets her draw on his face with a permanent marker instead! He should have let her draw some chapstick on his big lips! Or some hair on his head!  Oh well, maybe next time!


Now it's time to catch up with Puma, as he pays a visit to a barber shop named Bronx Block. His barber, Sugar *snaps* will be weed whacking that palm tree on his head! Ceaser was next door getting his hair did. The car wash next door buffed his skull extra shiny for this occasion! The funny thing about it is, Ceaser says that it's raining cats and dogs, yet neither one of them have water on them. And as a fan of the show, we all know damn well that the Black Stink cast hasn't seen water since Jesus saw earth!


Puma lets Ceaser know that he can come to the wedding but Dutchess can't! Because if she shows up, Quani is gonna have the same expression on her face the Puma had, the year that Ceaser gave him a comb for Christmas! This news of course, royally pissed off Ceaser! If he had hair, he would have pulled it out! I kid you not, Ceaser jumped up out of his seat, quicker than Sassy sitting on bed of Dicks! And ran out of that door faster than Dutchess facing a lie detector test!

Without the SideShow Bob hair do, Puma come to find out has huge ears! Oh well, at least you look like a distinguished crackhead now!


Back at the shop Tiffany hands Walt a letter with his fathers name on it.
He really needs closure in his missing father situation. I don't understand why he didn't just put his face on a milk carton! Anyway! After a couple of bogus calls, the search has just begun! But he knows that he will eventually find him! Because his name is Ronald Miller, not Waldo!

I noticed something interesting going on here. In the episode where Dutchess was flirting with Marvin. She was wearing a black shirt with a floral print. In the earlier scene with Puma and Quani, Quani had on a similar print dress and now. Tiffany has on a black shirt with floral print! Hmm! Ain't that something? Might be a trend going on in New York!


Back at the bail bondsman office.

The bail bondsman find out that the District Attorney put in a plea for O'Shit to receive 3 years in prison! O'Shit took a, himself in his pants when he heard this information!
Here he is thinking that he got a get out of jail free card, then he get's this news!

The bail bondsmen let him know that they think that he will be in jail for 3 years. And they hand him a gift pack! Soap, a tooth brush, some potato chips, and a cigarette! No Vaseline for his ass! No ball gag to keep the squealing down.

The Bail Bondsman found out their information by doing a quick internet search with O'Shit's real name. Richard Duncan, and his birth date 1984.  I find his name to be very ironic. Dick Duncan! He was set since birth, with a cursed name! His mother should have named him couch bed, so he would pull out for once!

I know, cheesy but effective!


Back at the shop. A client comes in and she wants a tiger tattoo! Grrr! O'Shit left the drawing in a cab. Luckily for him, he emailed her the drawing. So he can go right into the computer and retrieve it! Which makes me wonder why they don't have all of their art work cataloged in a hard drive? I just don't get it!

Anyway, He feels that the client is being a bit overbearing, she has about 90 minutes to get this done. So he has to use his time wisely, and here he is retracing the design.
So, she's just gonna have to wait a minute! As usual, I was a bit disturbed by Mr. Duncan's behavior! You see, O'Shit is a bit sadistic and abusive when it comes to women. Just like when he was tattooing Kathy! When O'Shit isn't giving women labor pains, he is giving them tattooing pains! He stuck that tattoo needle in that woman with reckless abandon! After the torture session, the tiger looked nice! She will have to come back to get it colored in on another episode!


In the next scene, O'Shit meets up with Coley at Chocolat Restaurant and Lounge!

Apparently the daughter that they had together was a difficult pregnancy and Coley was very sick. Well Coley, having Shit in you, will make you sick to your stomach! Anyway, Lulu was born prematurely! Probably do to the stress of Coley worrying about Mr. Duncan!

Coley's father went to jail when she was young and her relationship with him ended on that note. And with that said. I am left with a very personal question about Coley. If she sees this! I so hope that she doesn't get offended! And the million dollar question is. Why does Coley look like an Avatar? I swear, the first time I saw her I said, "this chick probably talks like a dolphin!" You're not bad looking at all. And you seem to have a great attitude. I'm just saying Coley. You look like a Fairy!

 She has that whole New Age, "I believe in past lives" look to her. She must be a Buddhist or an avid pot head! Same thing! In any event, this woman has that psychotic S.A.N.D. look to her! You know S A N D? Stab A Ninja Dead!

My advice is this. O'Shit better watch his ass! I never thought I would ever say that! I just said that Shit better watch his ass!


Anyway! Now we're at Cozy's, which is some sort of Kid wonderland!  Lulu get her hair done, and they put a tiny little tiara on her head. So now she's princess Lulu! Aww! She even gets a glitter tattoo of Unicorn on her hand. She should have gotten a "daddy issues" tramp stamp! We all know that she is going to be a tragic mulatto, so lets enjoy her smiles now! One of these days we'll see her on cops in a high speed chase holding a bloody knife. (Just kidding <- - - - Had to say that for legal reasons.)

Anyway, Despite a very weak attempt at telling Lulu about his potential visit to prison.
He just couldn't do it! So, it looks like Coley will have to explain this mess to Lulu. She seems to be a pretty bright girl so, I am sure that it will go a lot better than what either parent expects! And I am sure that Lulu just sees it as being a vacation away from her slow father.


Back at the shop. Tiffany is watching over the business like the worshipful Empress that she is! In the meanwhile Walter receives a blank envelop, from a flirtatious delivery man! Watch it buddy! I don't care what kind of benifits your job has. No smiling, winking or long looks at my Tiff Tiff! Thanks in advance guys!

 Anyway, thankfully Tiffany was there to console Walter! Because he finds out that his father is in fact diseased! Walter walks out of the shop about to go get him some alcohol because the news made his body go numb! Either that, or his last drink has him numb already!

Tiffany lets him know that he needs to talk about it.  But, Walter is better with liquor and listening than he with words so. He goes outside and calls the mother of his child. So that he can listen to some worthless commentary from her. As if she will have words of wisdom or something for him. I'd think that calling a woman that you owe around 50 thousand dollars to would cause more stress. Unless he thinks that crying to her will make her have sympathy on his bank account!

Anyway, come to find out, his father didn't even receive the news that his mother passed on as well. So, now both of his parents are gone. And neither of them knew that the other died! Remember Walt when you think that you have problems! Just saying!

For the record, I was going to leave this out of my review but. When Walter was on the phone with the mother of his child. Tiffany was hugging him, and he put his arm up to her and pushed her away. I damn there kicked a hole in my screen! How could anybody, especially during a trying time like this, get a hug from an angel, and push his blessing away? That was a Tiffany Winter hug! When she walks in the room, I feel like Christmas is inside my pants. So, eat a candy caned dick Walter! Don't do that again! You need to bow down in her presents as the world should! All hail the queen!

Anyway, Walt says that he feels as if he finally has closure now and he wants for his kids to have a more positive story. He wants them to know that he is there for them 100%! Yada Yada Yada.

As I said before, it's hard to feel sorrow for villains. Just saying!


That was about it for this episode! Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel!
And comment below!

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Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Have Several Seats | Review | Recap | Opinion

Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode  9 | Have Several Seats | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

(FOR THE RECORD! I will be re editing this! I am only mildly retarded! I have enough typo's in this stupid posting to be considered to be mentally challenged! I will edit later! SORRY IN ADVANCE!)

Technical difficulties delayed this review. But, better late than never!
Here is the @meetmagazine recap, review and opinion for the Black Stink, the Soap Opera without the soap! I mean Black Ink Crew, Season 2 Episode 9, titled "Have Several Seats!"


After the picnic, Tye brings Dutchess to Black Ink to get eaten by Ceaser the monster.
Ceaser is tired of being lied to by Dutchess. And Dutchess is being extremely defensive, instead of just telling the truth. She is lying dodging questions and I feel blessed to be single!

Ceaser asked Dutchess whether or not she is still in contact with Marvin. And Dutchess replies by saying, "I have no reason to talk to him". Now, I don't know how well Ceaser understands woman. But that was not a confirmation, nor was it a denial!

He asked whether or not they are talking. And she replies by saying that she has no reason to talk to him? She didn't say yes or no. So in the future if the guy pops back up and she gets caught white, cum covered handed! She can say, "well, I didn't say I wasn't walking to him. I said, that I had no reason to talk to him!"Yeah, not so slick!

Now outside, Ceaser is telling Tye about his conversation with Dutchess. And Tye lets him know that he needs to think about it like this. You should know whether or not she is cheating you, because he should know her very well. And he lets Ceaser know that he is either gonna break up with her or not!

I don't know about that one Tye. People live double lives so, it's possible for Ceaser to not have any idea of what is going on at all! All that I know is, I love Tye! He reminds me so much of 50 Cents left hand man, Tony Yayo. Tye is so hood, that whenever he pops up. I can smell the menthol cigarettes and cheap liquor in a brown paper bag through my screen! Tye is real to the 10th power!


In the next scene, we are at a mansion in Atlantic City. With Puma, Sassy, Walter Suspect Ted, some unnamed fool in a hat and some bald headed woman!  And these hood rats as expected, are ecstatic! Sassy the Grimelin's mouth, must move faster, and tear shit up quicker than Paul Walker's car! Because she was able to score Puma this six bedroom palace for them to stay in and party in, for Puma's filthy bachelor party.

Puma is so excited that he almost killed himself! He turned on the Bidet and it nearly squirted him in his face! And we all know that these people are scared of water! My favorite part of these party animals checking out the house is when Puma lays down in the Jacuzzi! I thought the only time we'd see Puma in a bath tub is during an earth quake! He proved me wrong!


After a quick toast, Ted checks his text messages and sees that Ceaser is having a crisis! He lets Puma know that Ceaser is having some issues with Dutchess and that he needs to get away! So he kindly asks Puma if it's cool to Invite Ceaser to a little time away! Puma being the cool guy that he is says yes. But forget all of that! In this scene, Puma looks the King of the Crack heads! His lips are so black and ashy, they look like chalk board erasers. Seriously Puma! How can you walk around looking like one of those, "Got Milk?" commercials?

Anyway, Ceaser shows up! With his red pocket book on! *snaps!* And before he can get inside of the mansion, Ted pulls him to the side. Ted lets Ceaser know that him and Puma need to speak because they aren't kids anymore. And as adults, they need to get over their silly differences!

And during this part of the scene, I cannot help to notice something about Ted. He needs to change his name to bed. Because he has a big ass back! He looks like he shops at, Bed Back and Beyond! His back is so big, they'd have to crucify him on bridge! Ted back is so big, if he was a super hero, he'd have to use a theater curtain as a cape!

Anyway, Sassy wants for the Puma and Ceaser to hug and kiss and make up! Which is funny because, Sassy is quite friendly with the females. Just ask Avi Berry! @avi_berry
So I guess she is trying to make everyone join the club now! Like I always say, gays don't reproduce, they recruit.

While the crew is in the house, Ceaser is acting weird as hell! He doesn't want come down the stairs and be with his friends. And this is making the get together awkward. The truth is that Ceaseer has all of that head and all of that lip! And a trip down the stairs would turn to a trip to the ER! So he's just taking his sweet pink pocket book wearing time!

Well, either his issue really  is the weight of his head and lips, or maybe he just farted? And was waiting for his shorts to air out good! I don't know!

In any even, we got a beautiful shot of puma's mouth! His mouth is playing the last tooth standing! Apparently, the tooth fairy robbed pumas mouth in his sleep, and made out big time! She took everything and the kitchen sink! I'm sure that she is retired now! She took his whole life savings! I still can't figure out how people with no teeth eat!

Anyway, back at the shop, Dutchess is drawing penises, and Tye comes by to talk to her. He has on all brown like the UPS man. But he isn't delivering boxes! When Tye gives you the box, he just popped you! BANG BANG! Trust me, Tye is straight street! Tye isn't even his real name! That's his alias! Tye is street code for, tie you up! Tye will kidnap you and tie your ass to some train tracks! I can tell!

Don't hurt me Tye! I was just saying!

The gist of this awkward scene is, Tye is letting Dutchess know that she ran Ceaser away. And that what she did was disloyal so, cut it out! Or Tye will cut her tongue out!


Now were back at the mansion. And come to find out, this mansion was used back in the 70's to shoot adult films in. And seeing that their is a bird shit stain on the window, these idiots are fantasizing about it being a streak of semen!

The inappropriate, disgusting and unnecessary behavior doesn't stop at the windows though! Ceaser and Puma are so drunk that they are hugging and about to kiss! So Sassy's fantasy just may come true. Ceaser riding a Puma! The Cock-a-dile Hunter!

Anyway, now these dorks are toasting alcohol again! And forget the drinks! Puma needs 3 shots of lotion for his elbows! Ted is so ashy, he looks like he ran through a wall like the Kool Aid man! (OH YEAH!) And puma's elbows are dryer than a nursing bra! Not to mention his lips being so white, he looks like he kissed paint! For real! Puma's lips are like Tiger Woods girlfriends. When you see em, they're always white!

What makes it worst is that Puma wants to get so drunk that he pukes in his own hair. So now we may know why he got a hair cut in an upcoming episode! But things get way worse that vomit in sideshow Bob's hair! The conversation goes into the fact that when Ceaser drinks, his inner bald headed drag queen comes out. And he starts doing his gay mating dance! Their impression of Ceasers dancing was absolutely terrible! I've seen one legged babies dance better than that!

Anyway, now it's time for Ashley and Sky to show up! And they are both horny and dressed scantly clad. My type of jumps offs! So, they are all up on Ted, like one of his tight ass shirts! And when Sky jumps on Ted's fat back. And all I can think is,"man, this chick has an odd shape!"

I tried to figure out how to describe it. She is like, many shapes in one. Like a Tri-cal-square! A triangle, a circle and a square! Come to think of it, she is shaped like the sky! She has a cloud shaped ass and some half moon shaped titties! (Excuse me while I throw up!) I don't understand why a model would have more roles than a Tyler Perry movie. The side of her stomach looks like an accordion! Step your game up Mr. Bionic back!

Ted is so suspect that he doesn't know who to choose. Sky or Ashley! Well, Sky is physically violent, she got drunk and then fought with people 6 or 7 times in the same night. And her body is shaped like a broken hour glass! Ashley on the other hand has an hour glass figure, while Sky has is shaped like a watch! Her head and legs look like the strap on the bottom and the middle is round! Seriously, she has a cute face, with a tennis racket body.

Ashley on the other hand is a dime piece. She has a cute face with perfect boobs, a slim waist and a round booty! Not to mention pretty hair, her sweet voice! And eyes that you can fall asleep while looking into! This piece of eye candy might give you diabetes! That pink dress that Ashley has on made my dick so hard, it nearly snapped! The long way!

Anyway, these two girls are going gaga over Ted. And Ceaser is hating, hardcore! Her's all poking his lips out, like a gay man at a water fountain! I mean with duck lips and a brown egg for a head. Why bring unwarranted attention to your flaws?

Anyway! Ted sent his bitches outside like dogs! And Ashley overheard them calling her KB2 or Krazy Bitch 2, with the first Krazy Bitch spot being reserved for Alexandra Estevez. Who I adore. So, all I'm gonna say is. Please leave Alexandra alone! She deserves the utmost respect, at all times, and from everyone! Just like Tiffany, she is special and off limits. Anymore insults towards either one of these gifts to the earth, will result in a tongue lashing so rough, that even Sassy would close her legs once it begins!
You've been warned!

Now we are back at the shop with Dutchess. And she is tattooing  skinny Timbaland! I mean, some fashion designer guy named Shareef! Dutchess is doing a tattoo of a geisha on his back! (How you doin) Anyway, the tattoo came out fantastic! And Shareef loves it! *snaps* Yaaaasss!


Now, we are back at the bachelor getaway. And come to find out Sky and myself are compatible.She wants to be in a polyamorous relationship. You know, like me and Tiffany Winter and Alexanda Estevez! It just makes sense! Oh well, I can fantasize all that I want!

All that I know is, if I was Ted. I would have had Sky and Ashely, synchronized already. Sister Wives on deck! And they would be happy! But that's just me. Ted has a game but, he fails to realize. That women are a business, and you gotta know how to manage your business.

Ceaser pulls Puma to the side to let him know that he deep down inside loves him like a fat kid loves cake! Like Sassy loves sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle. Like Ted loves the baby section of the T-shirt store! Yeah!

Okay, now we are at the shop! And finally my boo Tiffany shows up! She has to wake up O'Shit from the couch, because he needs to tattoo Kathy, the mother of one of his school of children! The tattoo is a ship being led by a heart, with a knife stuck in it. On the top it says, "the love boat". The ship is in a bunch of rocky, stormy blood water!

O'Shit says that he is excited because, he gets to hurt her the way that she hurt him.
And, I don't know what the hell is talking about. We get no details about how she hurt him!

Anyway, Kathy shows up. And I am left feeling extremely confused. O'Shit feels that he is the victim in the gun in the car situation. And he appears to have no regrets about getting yet another woman pregnant. And he doesn't seem to care at all about Kathy or her feelings. It's as if he has some sort of disdain for women. Some sort of weird vendetta against them. I wouldn't be surprised if he will pop up with a domestic violence case or some other sort of violent situation. His eyes look soulless in this scene. He had that same look on his face that George Zimmerman has! You know, that whole, I don't have to tell you that I don't give a fuck, the expression on my face says it for me sort of look.

Between O'shit's odd treatment of Kathy and the disdain that he has for her. I think that she may have cheated on him because, something is not being said. Something  is missing from this story! It just doesn't make any sense! How did she hurt him? They should of have explained this in the bonus footage on the VH1 website! Oh well! It will remain a mystery for now I guess! All that I know is, after seeing this scene. Alexandra's allegations of him slipping something her drink sound very possible. Just saying!

Anyway, Kathy feels that she was at fault for letting what transpired between them  happen to her. She is growing as a person by accepting her responsibility for being with a no good guy, off and on for the past 10 years.

So, he begins tattooing her back, and I am not sure of whether or not it was the red ink or blood, but theirs red stuff all on her back! The editing job on this scene makes it look as if you are watching a scary movie! And Kathy is  screaming like she's being fucked by rose bush!

Now were Back at the Bachelor party.

Ceaser had the nerve to make fun of the dancers, when his own cockroach in dreadlocks has danced on stage too! He is making fun of their alleged body odors, their intelligence and even their occupation. At first, I was offended by what he said about these girls until I realized something.

He is with Dutchess! And no man, and I mean no man in this world who would be in a relationship with Dutchess is 100% straight! I'd question a man's sexuality just for being very attracted to her. I can see a guy being mildly attracted to her appearance. She isn't ugly, and she has a fat ass! So yeah, I get it! If you'd smash and dash, I get that too! However, calling yourself in love with her, being in a relationship with her etc. screams of desperation and or poor taste in women!

With that said. Ceasers leaves the club and no one notices nor cares. I wouldn't be surprised if that kicked him out for being underage. With that baby head and all!

Meanwhile, inside. A naked trailer park queen bounces up and down on Puma and cracks his eggs like she was trying to make eggs Bendadick! She slams her nude tail down on Pumas body hard! So hard that he fell out of his seat and hit the floor! I haven't seen something black and beaten up, holding itself on the ground since, the Rodney King beating! I guess we really can't all get along!


In our final scene, we are back at the shop, Dutchess is sitting there with Tiffany. And sweet lord Jesus, Tiffany is looking like a million dollars! As always! She must wake up looking like a movie star! Forget the "circles" I'd give her the whole Olympic logo! Seriously! If Tiffany was my woman, I'd need knee pads! My face would be her favorite chair! Recline! Just saying!

So, Ceaser walks in and he hugs Dutchess. Then the pair walk outside and have a little talk. In the confessional, Dutchess says that Ceaser needs to deal with the problem instead of running away like a little boy. She of course doesn't say this directly to him! Anyway, they basically kind of sort of forgive each other. For now! Dutchess will have Ceaser in handcuffs on some bull shit sooner or sooner! Just sit back and watch! This girl is nothing but trouble!

The episode 10 review will be up ASAP! Look out for it, and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel!


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Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Wife Swap | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Wife Swap | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

The episode starts out with Amina Peter at Amina's Apartment.

And Amina is not happy about Yandy not wanting to sign her to the new record label, Lenox Avenue. Records! #LenoxAvenueRecords

 To make matters worse, she is tired of being looked at by the public as a being the reason why Tara and Peter kind of broke up. She feels that Peter is the home wrecker, not her!  And that Yandy really let her down by psyching her up, and then not signing her over Peter not being able to control his himself!

Amina wants to Peter to act more like husband, instead of acting like a boyfriend.
You see, Peter has been sleeping at his kids house, as Amina calls, Tara's shoe sized apartment. And Pete lets her know that he is not the type of guy to wine and dine. And run bath water and light candles. In other words the opposite of me. So, Amina can get used to him not being there every night.

Anyway! The best part of this scene is when Amina lifts her arm up and you can see a bucket of sweat all on her gray jersey cotton dress! And then the back of it is soaked too! Cum to think of it, maybe it wasn't sweat at all!

Eww! Moving along.



Now were at Yumi Couture in the Fashion District of New York!
With Rashidah and Tahiry. And fat ass Rashida looks like a Ursula from the Little Mermaid! She has on an ugly dress that is Aluminum foil, silver colored, on the top and white feathery, I just lost a pillow fight on the bottom! And that was the nicest description that I could come up with!

 It looks like a swan, trying to commit suicide on an electric fence! And what makes it worse is her hair! It's long and blonde, and orange on the bottom! As if  Rapunzel got her period! But Tahiry isn't too far behind, because she is dressed like a couch! And if their is an afterlife, Tahiry is going to be covered with oil and then sent to Hell!

She told this big baked potato looking heffer, that even though she doesn't like the dress. She thinks that Rashidah is, "perfect"! I was going to make fun of Tahiry the liar and fake friend for saying this, however she wants to marry Joe Budden! So, that says everything about her that I could ever say!

Tahiry is once again taking away from Rashida's happy times to bring the attention and focus back on her selfish self! She can't be a friend to Rashidah for 1 minute without mentioning Joe Budden! She's upset because she thought that she'd be married before Rashidah. Oh well Tahiry, you wont be married before Rashidah! But you will be divorced before her! I guess we can look out for Ms. Desperate, aka Tahiry to fight for the bouquet when it's thrown at Rashidah's ratchet wedding!



Now were at W.i.P. at Hudson Square, and Yandy is chewing Rich out so badly! She wants him to find her some talent. He hasn't brought her anyone besides Erica Mena, and it's been months! Yandy told him that he is going to be an intern soon!
The best part of this scene is Yandy's costume. Yeah, not an outfit but a costume.

She has this big Honey Bun on top of her head! With some gigantic snake shaped earnings! Which have ruined her ears! Those fake heavy things stretched her ear until the bottom of her ear is now bigger than the top! Her ear now looks like K. Michelle's pussy! Anyway, she has on a  red belly shirt which reads, "RARE"! And a tight red skirt!

But hey, if Yandy wants to look like a Ghetto Geisha, that's her prerogative!  I just hope that this episode was filmed on Halloween!

I used to look at Yandy as being a very cool girl over all. I loved her drive as a business woman and felt that she had a good attitude. But after this season, I am not a fan of hers, anymore at all! I find her little belly shirt, having the word, "rare" stamped on it to be ironic. Because Yandy looks more, "basic" every episode. I now realize that Yandy is a hoodrat in a mink coat! She just has the ability to sell herself really well. She should have been a lawyer!


In the next scene, Peter takes his sons to the park to play basketball! Peter hasn't had a chance to see them very much so, he is having a ball! It seems like Peter is always having a ball, or serving balls to somebody! Anyway, then they go back to the Hispanic Honda. I mean home! Peter stays with the boys and decides to lay down. Later on when the boys are asleep. Tara comes home stumbling and drunk!

When she walks in the door, she sees Peter is on his old bed AKA Tara's couch! And this fool has his filthy feet up on it.

Now, at first I thought that I saw clumps of dirt and toe jam. But after careful inspection, what appears to be dirt. Are actually rips and claw marks from Tara trying to run away from it! Trust me, chicks can rip stuff up trying to run away from it! (Down Boy)

Peter is spending a night on the, dog bed! I mean sofa! And I am left with an important question. Does Tara usually go out and get drunk and leave the kids at home by themselves? `

Anyway, Peter lets Tara, who is wearing a white blouse, know that he wants her to lay down on that filthy outdoor furniture! He lets her know that if she lays on her back, he will stick his face in her like a lion tamer!


Tara plays hard to get, and hops up bare foot! Don't ask me why she'd walk on the ground bare foot with glass and dog shit everywhere! Anyway, Tara hoped up and walked 1 step away, to the bathroom and turned the water on and pretended that she was gonna take a shower! Then she walks out of the bathroom all wet! And not from being in the shower either! She leaves the water on full blast! And hops on on that struggle sofa with Peter, and begins mud wrestling! Geez Tara! If I ever visit, I'm getting a tetanus shot! That couch looks like it came from  a third world country! That couch obviously went to war and lost!

But Peter is the winner here! He sucked Tara's camel toe out of shape! And beat it like Jesus! I'd hate to be her neighbors or her children that night. Tara needed it badly! She was about as frustrated as Fantasia at the library!

Now we make a visit to Ursulas Salon.
K Michelle is getting her filthy fake hair done. And Paris, K. Michelle's fat manager pops up. I wanted to puke looking at her, because he neck is so fat, she looks like she swallowed a donut and it gut stuck in her throat.

K. Michelle is telling Paris that Brianna, her former assistant, that Paris hired,  did not work out. She fired the young woman. Because she was a vegetarian, and because she didn't have K. Michelle's cab on time for her after a meeting. Causing Kimberly to suffer from being stuck in the rain with her hair dye streaming down her clothing.

Brianna, stops by and attempts to make amends by bringing gifts! Brianna gives Kimberly, Gator Aid, Jack Daniels and organic dog treats! Obviously major shade! The Gator Aid implies that Kimberly will be as fat as Paris from eating that sin food, not soul food but sin food, that she is used to eating. The Jack Daniels was Brianna subliminally calling her a drunk. And finally, the dog treats were a passive aggressive way of calling her a bitch for firing her! Brianna made sure to tell her that, even though they are for her dog, she can eat them as well!

Come to find out, fat Paris and K. Michelle are scared of Brianna. Because when K. Michelle forced the vegetarian of 4 years to eat chicken. The girl cried. And then when a cab driver cursed her out the girl cried again! This scares the evil K. Michelle and donut neck Paris!

K Michelle beating her friends with flowers (MiMi), throwing candle wax on pregnant women (Rasheeda) hitting Karlie Redd in the forehead with utensils, etc. is all normal to these two trashy nasty beast.

Brianna can honestly do better. All I know is that K. Michelle wont be playing around with Erica Mena, Joseline Hernandez or Chrissy Lampkin like that. For obvious reasons. She's crazy, not stupid!



Now we are at Battery Park City in the Financial District of New York City.
Tahiry is meeting up with her sister Lexi. And Lexi looks like the girl who auditioned for a Dancehall music video, that was rejected! She looks like the Island girl that you leave stranded on the island! Her hair looks like Ramen noodles. She's wearing a faded black wife beater shirt.. And some ripped up, slashed up jeans. Looking like she survived being raped by Freddy Kruger! What makes it worst is her tattoos!

She  has more tattoos than a Yakuza! She looks like a subway train in New York. Funky, beat up, worn out and covered in graffiti! This is the nastiest looking bitch I've ever seen on VH1!

Anyway, come to find out, these 2 have not talked in 5 years. According to Lexie, their father has been kicked out of his house. And even though Tahiry speaks with her dad frequently. She didn't know because her head has been nestled inside of Joe's ass like ostrich. Which Tahiry and her family curiously look like! Anyway, after some crying and carrying on, Tahiry hops up on her transexual looking sisters lap and holds her! Eww! That's just too much fat for me for one scene! Moving along!


We make a quick visit to Washington Square Park.
Peter has so many women that when he walks up to his fake wife Amina, with a bouquet of flowers, she asks whether or not they are for her!

After Serenading Peter . Amina pulls out a box with 2 rings in it, one for her and one for him! And Peter doesn't want to wear his because, he knows that this will upset Tara. And with that said!

Amina! Peter doesn't love you. I do! That's why I'm gonna tell you the truth. You may be fine, and you may look like Aaliyah Dana Haughton. But that acne on you forehead during this scene needs immediate attention! You should pawn the rings and get some Proactive! Just saying.


In the next scene we are catching up with Tara and K. Michelle. And Tara is looking her cutest in this scene! The pipe that Peter gave her must have given her a youthful glow! No, I'm kidding! She just has a good make up job this scene! With no make up on, she looks like a little Indian boy!

The gist of this scene, inside of this Ford SUV is. Tara tells K. Michelle about what has been going on with herself, Amina and Peter. And how she ended up sleeping with him on that raggedy couch that she found on the side of the road!


Now were at Canyon Beachwear at Upper Eastside New York City.
And Erica Mena informs Cyn Santana that they will be going to Panama to do their photo shoot for Erica's book. Erica lets her know that Rich is coming with them.As corny as Rich is to Cyn, she will take one for the team and go along with it for the trip. All Erica had to do to reel her in is cover the tip of her strap on with Chipotle!


Now we have another filler scene here, at VB3 in Jersey City NJ.
Rich lets Peter know that he wants Peter to manage Erica Mena! And Peter says that Erica is beautiful! And that he will sit down and meet her. He has never meant her before so. He is down for the chance to talk with her. I think that Peter thinks that maybe, he will be able to smash and have "angry sex" with Erica Mena! If Peter Gunz gets Erica pregnant, I wont be surprised!


So, were at Washington Heights in New York City.

Tahiry and Lexi are walking down the street. Brainstorming on how they can help their father out! The sisters are going to build a church for their father to live in, and speak in! Come to find out, he is close to losing his house so this idea may save him!
Lexie suggest that they start a fund raiser and auction themselves! And honestly, I wouldn't buy them if they were free!

Tahiry is shaped like a bitten apple! So, good luck at prostituting yourself to build a church to scam poor third world country people! Their plan is  that a "fundraiser"as they call selling themselves. Will pay for his house church in no time! And this is why people hate Christianity. Just saying!

Anyway!

Now were at Yandy's Office in Brooklyn. Yandy is meeting up with a rapper named J. Dinero. So, she raps for Yandy, and she is another corny, mediocre female rapper like Loreal! No talent what so ever! And she isn't very good looking either!
J. Dinero has the same demeanor and the same lame story that Yandy has. The whole Jail bird boyfriend storyline.

If she plays her cards right, her corny, Amerie's grandmother looking ass will be on the show next week. Seeing that Yandy is all about making friends as opposed to making smart business decisions! And for the record, this funny faced chick looks like a cat wearing a wig! And that wack garbage that she rapped wont sell on any planet. So, she should  just find something else to do. Like get some head!

Seriously! She has almost no forehead! She has a little two head! Human's hairlines and eye brows are not supposed to touch!
Cat head looking mother fucker! With her gigantic hands!

Look like she can stop a train with them big hands!

The best part of the scene is when she stands up to hug Yandy before Yandy kicks her out of her office! Her out fit is horrendous! Terrible clothing is obviously something that she has in common with Yandy! She looks like a Gothic Swimmer! Must have been laundry day!



In our final scene we pay a visit to Milk River in Brooklyn.
Peter, and Amina are meeting up with Rich and Erica Mena. Thirsty Rich is trying to help Peter earn some pedicure money! As expected, the meeting with Peter and Erica went bad really fast.

Peter claims that the streets are not feeling Erica. Which Peter would of course know all about being a homeless person in all. He lives in the streets! Erica lets Peter know that he is a clown according to the streets. Blah Blah Blah!

Next thing you know, after a bit of intense arguing and too many insults to count! Erica throws a plate at Peter. To which he responds by throwing a glass. Which completely misses her! By a country mile! And I am left thinking about how these two nut cases remind me of Chris Brown and Drake! Which would make Rich Rhianna I guess! Anyway, I hope that none of those actors, I mean patrons in the background were hit with the glass! It looks like Peter should stick to aiming at ovaries! He never misses them!

Peter says that he wished to not ever be placed in the same room as Erica again, because she is disgusting. This is of course coming from a guy who has never even once in his life washed his feet. And cheats on woman after woman.I'd love to know in detail what he considers to be disgusting.

I am for the record team Erica Mena! She's just too fine!

Anyway, that was about it for this episode. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel! And drop me a comment below!

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Love and Hip Hop New York | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Off The Record | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop New York | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Off The Record | Review | Recap | Opinion

So! At the end of this blog, their is a link to my questions that I asked Amina Buddafly on Twitter. That she answered in her weekly video! Yes, she answered 2 of my questions! Thanks Amina, you are so sweet!

But first!

The episode starts out with Tara at the gym with Yandy! And they are doing cardio kickboxing. At Fit Factory in Midtown New York. Tara states that this is Yandy's cousins Gym. We'll get back to my theory on that in a minute!

Tara tells Yandy, about the instagram video of Amina and Peter playing golf! As we know, Peter's balls have touched more than 18 holes!

Anyway, Tara insults Yandy's intelligence by stating that something told her to check Amina's instagram. Lol! Either you checked it on your own, looking for information. Or, someone, not something  told you to look at this video.
Always a bitch somewhere being cheated on, talking about "women's intuition told me...". Look trick, if you have a woman's intuition, use it to prevent being cheated on. Don't let your ego fool you after the fact.

The Easter egg, or hidden gem in this scene. Is that this gym is so cheap, that they have dumbbells in milk crates! This gym must be at Yandy's cousins living room! If they don't have a weight rack to hold the equipment, and they have to stick weights in a crate, that tells you something!

While Tara claims that this work out is a stress reliever, I think that she is training to kill Peter! She wont be able to say that say that she snapped though! This will be premeditated! Next thing you know we'll see her at the shooting range too!

Ya'll viewers just don't get it! Her name is Tara, as in Tarariss! Or Terrorist! Same thing!

Anyway, Yandy states that she feels that Amina Buddafly doesn't have star quality. She doesn't walk in the room, and magnetically attract people and command the rooms attention by presence alone! This coming from the chick who signed dry ass Olivia. And miss going nowhere Loreal?

Anyway, Yandy is tired of Rich being messy! Which is funny because, I guarantee you, that Rich can make a lot more Money with Erica Mena and Amina Buddafly than Yandy ever will with Loreal and Olivia!

But forget that soon to be defunct record label! Did you see Yandy's eye lashes? Who the hell puts on drag queen eye lashes to go to the gym and work out?
Looking like a gay cow! You're lucky you're cute Yandy! Or I'd go in on you.


In the next scene, were at Ripley Grier Studio in Midtown New York.

And we meet the Heidi Fleiss of finger painting, Madam Rebecca Schweiger!
The founder of the Art Studio in New York! And she totally gives off a whorish vibe! Which is a good thing of course! I am not perfectly sure but, I think Schweiger is the German pronunciation of swagger! And Rebecca could get it! I'd rub it all over her big nose!

Anyway Rebecca lets Saigon and Erica Jean know that this painting session would help them to know each other better! And this is one of the most disturbing things that I have ever heard of in my lifetime! So, two people who have a baby together, are going to go to an art studio to learn more about each other? Yeah! OKAY! 

Anyway, Saigon and Piano mouth! I mean Erica Jean are painting! I was hoping that they were going to paint Erica NUDE! Unfortunately, she sits her big ass down and starts painting too!


Saigon painted a big red heart, with a key and a white squiggle to represent Erica Jean. I was hoping that he was gonna paint that damn gap in her mouth. Seriously! That gap is so big, she can clinch her teeth together and stick her tongue out!

As for Erica's painting, she painting a big Purple heart! Saigon had a rap song called the Color Purple. So I am not sure whether or not the song influenced her cheap and uninspired painting. I hope that she is a better mother than she is a painter. She put absolute minimal effort into her art. She might has well have painted a line on the paper.


For the record, I was trying to figure out where I saw Erica Jean at before! She looked so familiar! I mean, she wears yellow, has chunky junky jewelry like scraps that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean. And she has a big greedy gap!
OOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT! Sponge Bob! I knew I saw that chick somewhere before! Baaaaa! {Sponge Bob voice}

Now we are at Stadium Red Studios in Harlem New York.
Amina is singing and playing the piano. Looking beautiful, Alicia Keys 2.0. And Peter creepy guns pops up! And Peter is trying to make sure that Amina stays in side piece wifey mode. Peter states that he is going to tell these women whatever he has to to keep both of them in his life! And I am sure that it will work out for him in the end. He'll get his way!

Peter goes on to tell Amina that he doesn't want her posting videos and pictures of them online together anymore. Because seeing this upsets Tara! He then refers to himself as being super handsome! And the hottest rapper over 40! Really Mr wrinkles? Not with that shrink wrap forehead! I'm a straight man who knows that LL Cool J, according to the women is the hottest senior citizen in rap!


 Anyway, Peter is still trying to get Amina signed and, she lets him know that she just might have to seek out new management. Remember Rasheeda and Kirk from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta? Yeah! If I see Deb Atney pop up, then I'll take her seriously about that.

The highlight of this scene is Peter Gunz outfit! After Tara went psycho and murdered his wardrobe! I mean she literally put the war in wardrobe! He was left with only the clothing on his back! He came in that studio with some tight jeans and 2 size too small sneakers! He looked like he robbed an old homeless woman! And then the worst part of it all was his clearance rack Walmart sweat shirt!


Now were at the Basketball court with Peter and Rich. And Peter is crying to Rich about his stuff getting destroyed. Rich lets Peter know that marrying your artist behind your live in girlfriends back will get your possessions destroyed!

Pretty much this scene was about whether or not Amina is going to get the record deal. Rich lets Peter know that yes, he still wants to go through with it. He loves Amina's music despite him enjoying her getting her face spanked on national tv! He let's his, "friend" Peter Gunz know that he has to discuss this with Yandy first!

Now we're at, Chocolat in Harlem new york.

Nya Lee and Cyn Santana are at the bar talking.
Nya wants to know what happened to Cyn's heterosexuality. She wants to know why she's pretending to be a lesbian. Nya is obviously trying to steal Cyn from Erica. She's looking about as thirsty as Rich right now! I see where this guy Nya's hostility towards Erica comes from now.

Cyn claims that Erica is her first girl and that even though she never looked at girls like this before,  she said that if she were to be with a girl. It would have to be with Erica!

And with that said,  this girl is full of lies! And she gives me the psychotic, schizophrenic, Single White Female vibe! You know, like. Erica Mena better watch her back. I know I'm watching it! No but seriously. Cyn Santana looks like the type to move in with her, start dressing like her and get the same hair cut! She's creepy. But maybe it was the Kat Stacks impression that she did in 2010 that creeps me out! (That laugh had me shitting bricks.)

To make matters worst, Cyn comes up with a really crappy idea. She convinces Nya to attempt to work with Erica again! Something tells me that this wont turn out too well! Putting Erica and Nya in the same room is like having R.Kelly host Toddlers and Tiara's. We all lose!

To top it off, Cyn dares to joke about Team Lesbian doing a 3 way song together! Erica, Cyn and that dude named Nya! And Nya thinks that Cyn needs to stick to modeling. One tone deaf Latina is more than enough for Nya. But the best part of this scene is Cyn Santana's shorts!

Her ass looks depressed. I was thinking that it was the shorts making her look like a fat man from behind. But I think she is just one of the those chicks that look like mascot, with human clothing on top of the costume.

While Erica Mena is shaped like an hourglass. Cyn Satana is shaped like a shot glass! She needs to that Maurice Smith pervert workout DVD!

Tell me how this chick is like 21 years old. And she already has cellulite for days! She looks like God put her knees on backwards! I never saw a chick with knees that go out in both directions. Hammer legged bitch!

Anyway!

Now we arrive at the top of the garden in Midtown New York.

Rich is trying to convince Yandy to sign Amina Buddafly. Yandy is undermining Amina's talent, and playing it off like she wasn't just smelling the money and loving what she saw when Amina first performed for her! Yandy is so full of it nowadays!

Peter Gunz walks in with his headphones on his neck, his last worldly possession since Tara destroyed all of his things. Yandy lets Peter know hat Amina is not a good look for her business!

And, Peter feels that Yandy is not needed. And he can just do the business deal with Rich! You see, Rich owes Peter some favors. Which basically means that Peter may have killed someone for Rich.

Peter makes the a great point by stating that the issues between the women is his  problem and that this is about business. So he will keep things under control for now on. Yeah, we'll see how this goes!


So, now we are at Society Billiards in Flatiron District New York.

Saigon and Peter Gunz are playing pool! And Saigon's acting abilities are at their worst in this scene! He looked and sounded a little bit off as if he may be forgetting his lines! Anyway!

He's concerned with his 2 year old son possibly being mentally challenged,  possibly autistic but, he isn't a Dr. so. He did what any other young parent does nowadays. Consult the expert of all experts. AKA, the internet!

Google taught Saigon that he should be concerned because a 2 year old should know about 35 words. And his child isn't being very talkative. Peter lets him know that yeah, he needs to confront Old Navy! I mean Banana Republic, I mean the GAP! Aka Erica Jean!


Now were back at Yandy's apartment. We have a short scene where she gives her 1 year old a cupcake to celebrate his first birthday! And the cupcake looked disgusting! It was shaped like rotten Dick and it had a candle in it! Who the fuck gives their baby a cupcake with a candle in it! I'm calling Child Protective Services right now!

After serving her child a "cupcake" *coughs* that looked like a tumor.
Yandy is in a car, calling Mendecees! They are talking about cupcakes and his bail hearing. Which was pushed back! Again! Better to get news of his bail hearing being pushed back, than to get word that he got his shit pushed up in his ass in them showers! We don't need Mendecees coming out Womandecees! I know Yandy's cousin is laughing somewhere right now! Remember when her cousin took pictures of her butt when she was working out, then he uploaded it to the internet? And Mendecess attack him? He sucker choked him! Not a such Punch, but a sucker choke! Probably the first ever in reality TV. history!

Yandy let's Mendecee know that she wants to go see this Lawyer that they hired for his case, in person! Mendecee tells her to put her foot down on everybody, incuding the lawyers neck to find out when he is going to leave gay heaven! For some reason, I think that Yandy putting her foot on necks wont make a difference. Now Peters nasty foot on the other hand! That weapon would change the game!


Anyway, now we are at 4 West Diner in Englewood New Jersey with Erica and Saigon. This was best scene this whole episode! She pulls up in a 1989 Dodge Goat SUV! Not a Dodge Ram, but a Dodge Goat!

And fork mouth, I mean Erica Zipper teeth Jean, was fooled by Sneaky Saigon into thinking that they were just going to get a bite to eat! With a gap that big, she can't even take bites! Nah, but seriously, she must eat like a fucking dog! With her head all titled to the side and shit! Or at least that's how I imagine her eating!

Saigon lets Erica know that the rate at which their child is learning is a bit slower than where he thinks the baby should be at this point. And he kind of whispers to her that he is in Chucky Cheese like almost everyday! So, I guess we found out who the secret mascot is!

Anyway, Saigon is worried about Erica being a dead beat mother. And not teaching the child anything but twerking, and how she can sharpen a pencil in her mouth! Erica claims that Saigon's daughter who is 1 month apart from their son, speaks 150 words, not because of Saigon's masterful prison parenting skills. But because, the other child is a female.

Saigon is pissed! And for a moment there attempts to take the adult route and state that as a felon, he doesn't want to argue in public! Probably because he was this close, to pulling out his old prison shank on her ass! And Erica was so mad, that she grew a tooth!

Saigon claims that all the boy says is DAH DAH DAH. And for the record, this is very scary considering the fact that DAH DAH DAH is German for, "die now"! My adopted German brother said this when he stabbed me growing up! Just kidding.

Erica and her huge ass storm out of the restaurant! And Saigon chases after her!

The two are arguing outside of the restaurant now. And showing off their matching butt implants! And she called him a fake gangster.
He says her ass is fake! That she's a hood rat. And a hood booger!

He then proceeds to snatch her Louis Voltron bag! Yeah. not Louis Voitton, but some fake ass Louis Voltron bag! Anyway, he chucks her bag like a football! Thank goodness it wasn't  Tiana Rodriguez's bag!

Anyway. He nearly ruined her purse contests. Which include, sunglasses, nail polish, a tampon and her Secret deodorant. Seriously though, they gotta do better than this!

Okay, so. Yandy hops on an airplane with her sons and visits the Defense Attorney Donald Thompson's office! Yandy states that her fiances case has been in limbo for 7 months! And she needs the details on when she will get some dick again!

And Donald lets Yandy know that the time that it's taking is normal during federal proceedings.

And his attorney client privilege is keeping him from giving Yandy the answers to the questions that she is seeking. And that she needs to be talking about things with Mendecess. But Mendecees has obviously been withholding information from her.

She foolishly calls Mendecees sitting in jail, "morally wrong". And refers to him as a man who was "torn from his family!" Yandy then furthers insults the lawyer by referring to the evidence that is against Mendecees as being "hearsay"!

Donald lets this idiot know that her, "hearsay" is testimonial evidence. Which is enough to support a charge

The Lawyer will continue to hold his attorney client privilege and let's stupid Yandy know that if she wants information. She better go ask Mendecees, rhymes with feces. And get the fuck out of his face! He tell Yandy that her and her man will have to wait a while because this will be a long process!
And with all of that said, Yandy better find her a new man! Just saying!

We are back in the Grimey streets of New York now!
Peter creeps on Tara on her way to work. Now I heard that she is a manager of a McDonald's or some sort of job. Yet she is wearing booty shorts! And a face full of makeup! Looking just like a street walker! And Peter's forehead is so wrinkled it looks like a brain! Tara tells Peter that divorcing Amina is up to him and that he needs to do what works best in his situation. Peter plans to keep both women in his life. And Tara is too dumb to move on so, I know that she will stick around.

Then, the discussion turns nasty, she tells peter that she needs space and pine sol!
When a woman needs space, that translates to temporary to permanent new dick!
So, Peter better enjoy sharing Tara! The best part of the scene is how the part in Tara's hair jumps from the left side of her head to the right side of her head! So, either she combs hair really fast, or the editing department should be fired! He pocket book jumps from arm to arm as well!


Now we're with Erica Mena and Cyn Santana at Harlem Underground in Harlem New York. Erica is doing like girls do, going behind their significant others back and being sneaky. Yeah, y'all new school lesbians are gonna learn what men feel like when women do their little bull shit and then sugar coat it with girl logic.

So Erica doesn't tell Cyn about the contract with Rich. And Cyn lies to Erica and tells her that Nya Lee called her. As opposed to them meeting up in person. And this sneaky shit is why so many women don't have female friends.

Anyway! Cyn tells Erica that she needs to be cool with the other musicians if she is going to be in the music industry and that she needs to work with Nya Lee! I am thinking that Nya and Cyn either may secretly have something going on, or will have something secretly going on in the future! Anyway! Cyn's mouth is so good, that Erica reluctantly agrees to talk with meeting up with Nya!


Now we are back at Yandy's and she is sitting with her dad, named Ralph, on an ugly purple couch. Ralph has tattoos and I can tell that he is a smooth talker just by the way that he is speaking to his daughter! He knows how to talk to women effectively.

Ralph lets Yandy know that basically she needs to not get her hopes up because, if Mendecee is in fact locked up for 20 years, she better think long and hard about going 2 decades without any dick!

Yandy crying to white daddy, Donald Thompson, didn't work, so now she is crying to brown daddy, Ralph,  because she is now accepting the fact that Mendecees is probably not coming home anytime soon! The best part of this stupid scene is that Yandy claims that she didn't sign up to be a single mother. Well Yandy, you let a tough guy like Mendecees knock you up twice. So yes you did.

Pretty much Yandy is trying to convince her father to not go back to Florida. And instead stay up in New York and help her by being her baby sitter! He rather play Bingo and smash chicks under palm trees, so he didn't take the bait! Smart man!


In our final scene we visit. Sin City Cabaret in the Bronx New York. And no Cyn Satana with  "C" does not own Sin City Cabaret!

Anyway!

Nya Lee and Erica Mena are meeting up. And before they can sit down and let the chairs settle from their big butts, Nya asked to see Erica's bag. And Nya is talking shit about Erica's bag, calling it questionable. No Nya, your gender is questionable!  Nya is still pretending that Nya Lee is a somebody. Like she has a music career to speak of. And talking about how my boo Erica is irrelevant. Which is of course a lie!

Anyway, they start arguing real face, and it was the same old shit that they said before about people fucking and stripping for money. Yada Yada Yada. I don't like seeing Erica upset! The highlight of the scene is when Bootylicious Erica Mena gets up and turns around looking a million dollars! And digs in her big green purse, and throws a few bills at Nya Lee!

Being half naked with money thrown all over the floor is just a normal day for Nya! So this didn't effect her at all! I just wanna know whether or not she picked the money up off of the floor! Anyway, Erica walks out without her pocket book! Not sure of whether or not this was because she went outside to smoke, call a ride, text message someone or what! But she walked out without her pocket book!

And that was that!


Amina Buddafly's EP album, "I AM part 2" will be out on Tuesday December 17th 2013!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-am-pt.-1/id606647134



The link below is to the video of my questions and Amina Buddafly's answers!
http://vimeo.com/80411185#at=0


Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel. And watch my videos!
https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazine2/videos




The video below is the Color Purple by Saigon. Enjoy!

Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Something in the Water | Review | Recap | Opinion

Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Something in the Water

 

Black Stink the Soap Opera without the soap starts off at the shop.
With Teddy's jump off, Ashley popping up to get an old tattoo covered up.

Ashley, or @LilSpanishAsh, had music notes tattooed on her side. Because she likes to sing. And she didn't get it finished because cause she got pregnant.
She states that the tattoo was done by a "ratchet person". So, it's possible that she was in jail when she received it! (Just speculation!) Probably either that, or the person is an ex friend or ex boyfriend. This reminds me of when @_AlexEstevez Alexandra Estevez got the tattoo of the guns on her hips by O'Shit. And now she wants to have something done over it.

Anyway, The best thing about these scene, other than Ashley and Tiffany looking so cute. Is the hatred that is coming from Dutchess! Dutchess asks Ashely, (Remember that from the Amanda Show with Amanda Bynes? ASK ASHLEY!) Anyway! Dutchess asks Ashley,"Why are you coming in the tattoo shop, not knowing what the hell you wanna get? Don't come in the fucking tattoo shop. Take your ass home!"

WOW! So, the same person who said that she likes when people let her take control of their tattoos. And have her creative freedom, Mrs. "artist", slash business degree holder wants to drive away business. And you fail to  realize two great opportunities that are right in front of your face!

The first opportunity is for you and the second is for the business. First of all, this is your chance to show your creativity Dutchess. And come up with an amazing piece of art to show your talent, and creative vision, and turn this unwanted tattoo in a masterpiece. Saving the day, and making yourself look like a genius!

And number 2. You have the perfect opportunity to up sell! If the girl for example needs a 3X5 inch tattoo to cover up what she has there, you can do a 6X10 inch tattoo, large piece that wraps around her body and charge her double the money! It's a perfect excuse to do a large tattoo. With a lot of color. And make sure you have to finish it in two tattooing sessions!

Anyway, O'Shit finds out from the staff that Walt is having a baby! And O'Shit begins laughing hysterically. But then turns around and says that he got a another chick pregnant himself! And I am not sure who it was but, in one of my earlier reviews, I said that the girl he was with, from the military who had that pistol is gonna end up getting pregnant next. So, time will tell whether or not she's the one!

All I know is that O'Shit needs to change his name to the Iraq War. Because he doesn't know when to pull out!


In the next scene. A California rapper named Kid Ink wants to get a puzzle piece on his abs. And the tattoo that Dutchess comes up with for him is more cluttered than a scene from hoarders! She somehow managed to cram in a cassette tape, a pen, a microphone and a record. All in the same tattoo!
Ceaser lets her know that she is, "putting ten pounds of shit, in a 5 pound bag!"

Either that or 4 big black horse dicks in a midget butt. Same thing!

I've heard of Kid Ink before. And I am not a fan. What I can't help but to notice is that he
looks like Nelly, with aids! No, I take that back! If Chris Brown, dressed up as a zombie on Halloween! Yeah, just like that! He looks like the corpse of Chris Brown! No shit!

Anyway, Kid liked the tattoo concept and let Dutchess draw that garbage on him. Kid Ink has a bunch of ugly tattoos all over him anyway. So whats one more ugly tattoo?

The most interesting part of this scene is that Dutchess was being extremely flirtatious with Kid Ink! He appeared to be too high to notice!

Now, for the record. I don't know anything about tattoo's! And I tuned in this season, after only seeing a tiny bit of season one. I began watching season 2 because of Alexandra Estevez! And even though my knowledge is super limited in this subject. I see a lot of visible scaring on Kid Ink after Dutchess tattooed him. Nicks, and redness everywhere! Just needed to point that out!

In the next scene, Walt, Ceaser and Teddy are at the shop. And come to find out, Walt has not introduced  Ceaser to his family. This fact lets me know that Walt may be smarter than what I would have thought of him. But then, a pregnant man, looking woman, named Zenobia walks in and when I see what she looked like. I see why he never showed her off. He was even more embarrassed than I was!

Tiffany feels that Walt needs to cough up that ring! Put a ring on it! And commit himself to this woman!

I must pause the scene right there to have my Tiffany Winter Wonderland moment.
So, Tiffany pops up looking adorable in a tight black dress with tie dye print on it! Blue, Purple, and Green. And while the entire dress is shaped like a long tank top. The Tye Dye is designed to look like a strapless dress! And she looks ravishing in it. It really shows off her hourglass figure and the pops of color compliment her delicious, I mean her smooth caramel complected skin.

Okay, I'd done lusting for the moment!

Tiffany is such a respectful, wholesome and mature lady. That she advises Xena the Warrior Princes, I mean Zenobia to not allow Walter to keep her as his, "babies mother". In other words put a ring on it! I feel you Tiffany! We'll be shopping at Tiffany's for our ring in a couple of years. Ha ha! In my dreams Tiffany. You're out of my league. All jokes!

Anyway! Ted makes sure to let the whole shop know that a wedding ring, and vows wont stop him from sleeping with a woman outside of his marriage. Excuse me. Not a woman, but rather a bitch! Ted's foggy language causes the women to look at suspect Ted a little funny. I mean, he's quick to call women in general, not individuals but the female population itself, "bitches". And to make things more interesting. He's wearing a tighter shirt than all of them! I mean his closet must look like her robbed Barbie!

Their are only 3 instance when calling a woman the B-word is appropriate. #1 She cheated on you, aborted your child, lied to you or did something else foul to you, physically, emotionally or mentally harming you is fair grounds for the B-word to be used! #2 You are telling a joke. Especially if the jokes is blatantly and obviously  a joke without shade! #3 You are beating her guts like cake batter! I'm talking, smashing it so hard your scrambling her eggs and opening her ovaries! I'm talking, giving a girl a spinal realignment!

Now you know what you're in for Tiffany!

So, this chick that Walter busted a Waltnut inside of. Looks like Erica Bad doo doo!
No shit! I usually don't talk shit about peoples girlfriends like this. But when your girl has an, I'm straining on the toilet face. I can't help but to talk about it!

And to top it off. Her name is Zenobia! And that sounds too much xenophobia!
And Xenophobia is defined as being an irrational or unreasoned fear of something that's foreign or strange. And this Halloween looking, experiment gone bad, scares me half to death!

I mean, those protruding eyes. That mouth and that lisp! I mean she hisses when she talks! She sounds like a gay snake! And she has that NASA mouth! Nothing but space!
I mean this chick is beat! Ever seen a sneaker, that a dog chewed on? Yeah, she looks just like that! A chew toy faced chick! She has an "O" face! Because if Walt introduced me to Zenith flat screen, or Zenobia or whatever her name is! I'd say, "Why do you have that dog unleashed in the shop?" Then Walt would say, "That isn't a dog, that's my babies mother, fool!" And I'd reply, "Oh! On some realness. You can't convince me that she doesn't have 6 nipples and a tail!

Anyway!

Now Walt and Zen Buddhist, I mean Zenobia,  are outside. And she let him know that seeing that she decided not to kill his baby, he needs to commit to her. Because nothing makes a man wanna marry his "babies mother". Like telling him that she didn't kill his child so, put yourself into more debt and in more stress by marrying a crazy woman!
How does a man turn down a selling point like that?

Despite being with her for 3 years, Walt is not feeling her demonic attitude. Also, he doesn't want her to be a part of his $50,000 debt. Which sucks to owe that much money! But it's still a great excuse to dodge a woman, or a relationship!

Think about it, he'd have to sell his organs, to add a wedding and wedding rings to his list of debts! And never mind the cost of his funeral when  Zenith Television, I mean Zenobia, kills him! Trust me!

This woman is a problem. I can tell! She's pushy and not very bright to boot! You should have thought about this marriage thing before you let Walt stick the sword in the stone!

Now were back inside the shop, and DeMarcus  Cousins,  a basket player, on a team named the Sacramento Kings stops by to get some ink! Never heard of him! Anyway!  He's wearing his little School Boy Q style fishing hat. And he came in to get a tattoo of his mothers face. And not only does Ceaseer do an okay job. He isn't left looking beaten, mangled and bloody like Kid Ink! Dutchess victim from an earlier scene!


Now were at a restaurant with Dutchess and Tiffany Winter!

Dutchess has an interview with some guys from a clothing line named, Ink Life.. And a guy named Marvin, Dutchess's ex boyfriend is there at the meeting! Apparently he is friends with these 2 guys from the company. And Dutchess is looking extra thirsty around the penis! She is sniffing around like a dog covered in pepper! And she wants to his balls in her mouth! *WOOF!*  She's honestly looking even thirstier than when she was with Kid Ink! Because, not only does she sit down right next to the guy, as opposed to letting her sister in law sit next to him. She is looking all googly eyed like she's under hypnosis! Or maybe dicknosis!

Come to find out, InkLife want to work with Dutchess solely, not Black Ink. And Dutchess is not only more than okay with this idea. This seasoned opportunist is defending her selfish nature with her claws sharpened and ready for combat with anyone who dares to question her loyalty and decency to the man that made her, Ceaser!

She is being so defensive to the Manager of Black Ink, Ms. Tiffany Winter! Ceasers sister! She is coming up with a bucket full of excuses for why she should make a deal with this company. She's talking about how hot she is and how men want her. And basically that is just something that Ceaser has to deal with! What makes it all worst is that they said that Dutchess will be working with 3 men! Is the third man her ex boyfriend? If so, then why?

Tiffany is being mature and observant about the situation.She is listening acutely and not saying much. She's soaking the in all of the Bull Shit! Tiffany knows that this will lead to problems and that's it's not a good idea. I'm with Tiffany, as you already know. And this right here folks, is why Tiffany is the best part of the show!

Come to find out, Dutchess relationship with Marvin was pretty much about grinding spices, doing the butt, and piercing the cheeks. I mean it was pretty much a bunch of lustful, sweaty dread lock pulling back shots! And she has pictures of the two of them on her computer doing God knows what. Which Ceaseer does not know about.

Dutchess wants to build her own empire and she is not concerned with Ceasers feelings at all! She is ice cold about it. And feels that she this is an opportunity for her to build her own brand!

The meetings is over and, Dutchess and Tiffany are walking down the street. And Dutchess looks like a prostitute! Little pink shorts and an ugly shirt. The shirt is a tiny cut off . Black with flowers on it. And some heels! She looks like a drag queen street walker! I'm talking, Ru Paul Bunyan! I mean how else does a whore like Dutchess dress when going to a business meeting?

As for Tiffany, as usual she looks magically delicious. She has on her pretty little black and white dress. To compliment her multiracial background. And her butt is looking marvelous! Just saying!

Anyway, Dutchess is firm in her decision to do whatever she feels that she needs to do for her. So hopefully, Ceaser will break up with her and get a better looking girl for the show! We have only 1 hottie left! Now that Alexandra is gone. Tiffany is the last pretty girl standing. Just saying!

Back at the shop ted is walking in. And finds out about O'Shit confessing the new child to Kathy. His crazy ex girlfriend that jumped on that chick at the restaurant, on the first episode. Come to find out, she gave him a  black eye, stabbed him and beat on his other girls before. And then called the police on him to boot. So, yeah, she's a mixed nut!

So, Kathy shows up. And come to find out this demon has been practice meditation.
I'd think that a woman with arms as big as thighs would be doing cardio! You need to meditate on a treadmill, and relax on a salad! Seriously. She looks like somebody to a shit and put a wig on it!

Anyway! O'shit confesses that he got this other chick pregnant. And as expected Kathy is shitting kittens! He has babies with 3 women now! This vagetarian stays going raw! One of these days, he's gonna hit something so nasty, he's gonna have bump, the size of apple growing out of dick hole!

Kathy claims that he's stretching himself thin with his tribe of children.
In reality, her real concern is the fact that she feels that she will never get his magic stick back for just herself! The scary thing about it is, she was crying and thanking God and the Universe for only having 1 child. So that she can focus on her career. And because she doesn't want to be known as O'Shit's babies mother! Really? The chick who fights at restaurants in from of her own child? I'd think that being a babies mother is the least of your problems! Throwing jackets over strangers heads in public and then attacking them in from of children. I mean, I just hope to God that this is scripted.


So, Now we are at the Bail Bondsman's office. And O'shit needs Puma's assistance to attempt to convince these 2 slime ball pigs to let him go to Atlantic City, in New Jersey for Puma's bachelor party. The bail bondsman agree, however, he will have to book these 2 guys a hotel room at Cesare's Palace! In addition to the hotel room they want $1,000 each, and food! The total cost for Porky pig and Babe to chaperone him will be between $2,000 to $3,000! We will have to wait to next week to see whether or not O'shit brings home the bacon!


In the next scene, Dutchess and Ceaser are in the car. On the way to Ceaser's families BBQ. And Dutchess lets Ceaser know that her ex-boyfriend is friends with the owner of the clothing line, that she had the business meeting with. And that he was there at the table with them! Now, Ceaser is trying to play it cool. But he lets Dutchess know that she should have walked out. because them having Marvin there was unprofessional and unnecessarily. Dutchess completely downplays the whole situations and tells him, "what he wants to hear".

For the record women. For what I have personally seen and from my own personal stand point. Most men, want to hear the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth! For example if a man asks a woman whether or not he looks fat in his shirt. He is probably asking because he will either be dieting or exercising to change his situation, in other words. Taking action! However, a female will often ask her mate whether or not she looks fat in something because she's looking for him to say no, so that she will feel comfortable and even good, about not changing anything. Note to women, be honest when you're dealing with a man. Just saying!

Anyway, to sum up the conversation. Dutchess is basically trying to sugar coat the situation before Ceaser can find out the truth from Tiffany. Dutchess is a double dipping, double agent! She made no mention of her talking with Marvin and complaining about Ceaser. Or the pictures on her laptop etc.

So, they finally arrive at the picnic. And we meet Sophie, Ceasers sister. And the Barbecue was chips and water! I kid you not! I don't understand why Sassy wasn't invited. Their was no meat there! As a lesbian she would have felt right at home. HA HA! Just kidding!

Anyway, the magic of TV. worked wonders! With no meat being their, this gives Dutchess and Ceasers sister Sophie the perfect excuse to go grocery shopping while  Ceaser and Tiff Tiff have time to converse about what really happened.

Now, Tiffany talks with Ceaser and lets him know that Marvin was still in connections with Dutchess. And that she complained about Ceaser at some point. And of course about the pictures on the laptop. And that it was obvious that this guy is still feeling Dutchess!

Ceaser gets up and leaves and Tiffany feels that maybe she shouldn't have spoken up!
For the record, Tiffany's confession to Ceaser was not only completely accurate. It was with good intentions. She was being a sweet sister, looking out for her brother during a trying time. Thank you Tiff Tiff for holding your brother and the family business down.

Dutchess comes back and now Tiffany has to explain to Dutchess what just happened.  And Tye, pops up! Brown Yoda! And my man's Tye said exactly what I would have said! If Marvin wasn't supposed to be there, why was he there? Obviously because them dudes were being grimey! I'm talking Noreaga and the Neptunes Grimey!
Tye lets her know flat out that they set her up. And that when she saw this guy there that wasn't even supposed to be there, she should have left!

Dutchess starts talking about women coming by the shop, that Ceaser used to mess with. Which is of course, deflection for her shady and sneaky behavior unto Ceaser.
She states that nether of them have ever been in love before. In other words, she is too new to this situation to know how to act.  Or more deflection. She is blaming her ignorance or lack of experience and knowledge in common sense for her behavior.

Dutchess then blames her heart condition, and her family issues for her bad decisions. And this is of course the ultimate deflection, with a sympathy plea. I mean who brings up their heart condition and family issues when you were your only real concern is getting back cracked? We will probably continue from the Barbecue scene next week.

On a side note. I bet Dutchess has a really hairy asshole! Something tells me that she's a hirsute individual. Just saying. I'm really hoping that Dutchess and Ceaser will depart. We need a better looking chick with a much better attitude on the show. Then again, I'm not thinking with my big head. So what do I know?

Let me know what you think about the show. And my review, recap and opinion.
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