Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 12 | FINALE | All Good Things | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 12 | FINALE | All Good Things | Review | Recap | Opinion

The episode starts out at the Dog Store in Midtown NYC.
We see Erica Mena walking into the store by herself. And I automatically think to myself. "Wow, it must be cleaning day for Cyn! But nah, when she walks in Cyn Santana is their holding a different bitch. I mean I've heard of "babies having babies". But this was the first time I saw a dog keep another dog as a pet! That's racist!

The crazy part about it is Erica refers to herself as the dogs, "daddy". So any women's rights groups who see this can shove up their asses! Because she called herself a bitch!

And what makes everything even crazier is that Cyn called Erica a "bad dad". So, that means that Cyn is also calling Erica a bad mother. Not my words Erica. 

So the not so dynamic, dildo dueling duo are discussing that fight last week between Cyn and Rich. And Cynthia defends herself calling Rich corny by stating the fact that everybody calls Rich corny. Hell, even his mother calls him corny!

And Cyn brings up two valid points. #1 Rich acted like a psycho last week because Cyn is Erica's girl. And #2 it wasn't so much about being called., "corny" but rather the fact that she is his competition!

Also, she said that she is surprised that this thirsty idiot could be a good manager considering the fact that he flips out every time an artist does something that he doesn't like!

And in a nut shell, Cyn plans to be nice to Richard for now.

In our next scene, we visit. JeT'aime Shoes in Paramus New Jersey.
Yandy and Tara are shopping for shoes. And thank God Tara has on plenty of make up! I got sick watching last weeks episode! You see, in episode 11 Tara was coming back home from jogging. And she had on no make up, and her hair wasn't done and I just sat there for a minute like. "Is this another one of Peter's bitches?"

Thankfully she had mercy on my eyes, my stomach and my soul in this scene.

So Tara is telling Yandy that she is trying to move on from Peter's legendary pipe game! And Yandy, like all crappy black women has a BBA degree. A degree in Bad Bitch Advice!

She lied to Tara and tells her that she has it all together and that she would be every mans dream! Yeah every man with low to no standards! A 36 year old bad actress with 2 kids and enough emotional baggage to fill a landfill with. A crazy dirty feet ex boyfriend who is married, yet willing to climb through her window in the middle of the night.

And her being so scared of him that her and the kids have to move! And you put that with the fact that she has an ugly mutated face, with an old turkey neck, and an ass so flat that Miley Cyrus would point and laugh! And you're telling me that this is supposed to be the best that a man can do?

That's Black bitches for you! I will be moving to Japan! I already have my Kimono!

Yeah, Yandy is so delusional that she claims that Tara is smart, and beautiful! LMAO! Wow! The chick who committed adultery, raw and bragged about it on TV. that looks like a rat with a relaxer is the Queen of Sheeba? You gotta be kidding me! As matter of fact what does Tara spell backwards? A RAT!

So, the director of Yandy's movie. Noel Aka the big headed, gay beaver looking mother fucker in that cheap jacket! Thinks that Tara would be prefect for the role of Janelle. The drunk who throws herself at that loser on her couch. Yeah, she's playing herself! This is gonna be just like Eminem in 8 Mile. I spell an Oscar! An Oscar Meyer Peter Wiener! Only so much time until she needs her fix.

The best part of the scene is when Yandy told Tara that acting is a whole other baby! And Tara reaches in her purse for the plan B pills. And Yandy was like, no bitch! It's a figure of speech!

In our next scene we visit Taperia in Brooklyn.
Rich Dollaz meets up with Peter Tarzan Gunz and lets filthy feet know that he has been sleeping with Erica again. And that if she even comes close to breeching his contract with her he'll fuck her life up!

So, we leave Taperia, no were at Nick Cannons office in Midtown NYC with Peter Gunz and Nick Cannon himself! I personally love the crap out of Nick Cannon. I view myself  as being a lot like Nick Cannon, mixed with a little Kanye West. Well, I mean, I'm broke, a little bit tacky, fat, retarded with 1 eye, and it's in the middle of my head. And no not my forehead. But the middle of the top of my head. I have to do a handstand just to read a book. Now, besides that, I am just like a mixture of Nick meets Kanye!

Anyway, Peter felt that talking to losers like Saigon the Magical Midget and Rich thirsty Dollaz, the alcoholic that chases coke heads around, was not yielding him the best advice. He said that he needed to speak to a hire power. I thought that he was talking about God, but nah, he was just talking about Nick Cannon!

Wait, I just noticed something. Their last names are Gunz and Canon!
This is the first time that black guys, Canon and Gunz were in the same room and no one died! Must have been filmed on Martin's birthday! Oh fuck you for saying that I told a joke about Martin Luther King's birthday! I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about Trayvon Martin! And this is how I lose subscribers! Anyway!

So, Mr. "I have more jobs that a Jamaican news paper". Mr. I am the reason why the Unemployment office stays open. Nick, I got all the jobs in the world Canon! Tells Peter that a man as poor as him needs a chick that he can manipulate. Or he'll end up broker than he already is. And he also tells Peter that Tara is ugly, she's past her expiration date as all women have one. Excluding Kris Jenner with her sexy ass! And that he needs to settle down with the girl whose mouth looks like she brushed her teeth with Grenades! Amina!

In the next scene, Saigon and Erica Jean are moving her stuff in to his house in what appears to be an empty SUV. I guess, all that she has is him! Aww, how adorable!

When the two hop into the SUV, Erica in the drivers seat and Saigon in the passenger side, on his booster seat. He lets Erica know that he isn't ready to completely settle down just yet. And that this is pretty much some indoor pussy to him!

Then he begins to lay down the rules. And unlike Peter Gunz 5 rules. Saigon only has 3! #1 Don't touch anything that's his that she sees in the refrigerator. #2 Don't take a nasty, stinking shit without opening a window, turning on the bathroom fan and spraying some air freshener. And #3 He should be able to bring home a woman for a threesome from time to time!

So, Saigon asks Erica whether or not she's ever been with a woman.
And besides that one Cuban Link Music video, from 2000, titled "Tellin Lies". Erica is not giving up any information about freaky past. After all, the thought of it brings back horrible memories, with a capitol whore! You see, she lost that tooth in the middle of her mouth eating pussy!

So, She pauses, and has to think for a minute. Because as a woman who is caught up in a conversation that she doesn't want to have, she has to dig deep to figure out a good enough lie. So the lie that she chooses is, " I don't know if I've ever BEEN with a woman". With extra emphasis on the word, "been".

Saigon knows women well enough to know that her awkward pause when he asked her that question means, yes! You see, Erica is trying a female mind trick on Saigon. By pretending that she doesn't know what he means by, "been" with a woman. If this subject ever comes up in a future conversation, she can always say, "well I thought you meant, been as in a committed relationship. I didn't know that you meant fucking!" She knew exactly what he meant.

Anyway, Saigon goes on to ask Erica about the potential of having a threesome. And Erica pretends to think that he is just joking. First of all, you've both been with women so, just tell him that you'll pick the girl.

She then had the nerve to say that Saigon is a good man. You know when he isn't throwing her bag and calling her a fake butt having bitch! And blaming her for making babies retarded.

Anyway, despite his request for newer and tighter vagina,  for the sake of their child, Little B, she will try to make it work. I just wish that they'd admit that that baby is the product of a 1 night stand. How the hell do you plan to have baby with a stranger?

Yet when Erica mentions marriage. Saigon just smiles and says that he's delusional. Then sticks his head out of the window like a dog! She should have pushed his little ass out!


Now were at Purlieu in Queens!

Where we will be treated to an Erica Mena live performance! But, we have to catch up with Tahiry, and Rich Dollaz first. And Rashidah walks up wearing a big black coat. Thankfully security didn't mistake her for a Grizzly Bear and shoot her!

So Tahiry, the over the hill booty model, whose past her expiration date with the triple chin. Apologizes to Rashidah the transsexual, Mr's Potato head looking bitch, about being a fake friend who is more concerned with the ridiculous antics of her drug addicted, failed rapper ex boyfriend, Joe Budden. As opposed to catering to King Rashidah Ali's wedding, like a good plebeian.

Rashidah goes on to tell Tahiry that she feels that she is beautiful and smart. Two things that she is not. Anyway, besides those two alleged qualities, Rashidah drops the stink bomb that she is not cool with Tahiry being an ex booty model.
And I'm confused! Why was Rashidah ever her friend in the first place? I thought that Tahiry was the fake friend, looks like they're both as fake as their hair!
Two out of shape, bald headed women whose friendship was based of phoniness.

And Tahiry tells Rashidah that she needs to worry about the wedding, and bachelor party for him. And not what she does with her butt! And come to find out, Tahiry is proud of prostituting herself in magazines and music videos. She then foolishly, accidentally gave Rashidah some ammunition to shoot her down with with! She said that if she wanted to do Play Boy tomorrow. She'd do it!

And I thought that Rashidah was gonna tell her that she is too fat to do Playboy. But nope! She hit even lower below the belt than that. She told Tahiry that she support her doing Playboy because it is high class way to whore yourself. And the the places that Tahiry usually sells her body are lower class, gutter butt, low rent filth!  And a man like Rashidah has its standards!

 She then has the nerve to tell Tahiry that she is trying to teach Tahiry how to be someones wife and not some ones jerk off moment!  Hmm, the whoredacity of some people. YEAH! Whore dacity! The audacity of a whore! Hmm, Cheddar cheese!

Anyway, then Tahiry states that Rashidah's fat tail is on a 60 day diet, and that the 60 day challenge is probably not working out too well for her. And maybe she just wishes that she could look like her in a thong! And I'm looking around like, Tahiry, you only look good in a thong after makeup and Photoshop. Stop using twerking as exercise, and go vegan, cut the junk food out and workout in the gym! You don't have the genetics to eat all them tortillas or whatever it is that your polluting yourself with! Anyway....

Rashidah tells her that she is a whore that people jerk off to, but will never marry! Jerk off to Tahiry? Well, I wont be marrying nor jerking off to such lower class trash! Tahiry disgusts me. She honestly has no redeeming qualities and the fact that she is proud of having no redeeming qualities makes my skin crawl. Oh well, at least she didn't have children with Down Low Joe.

The truth is that yes Tahiry is a whore. Yes, no man in his right mind would ever want to marry her. Yes Rashidah is fat and needs to lose weight. But then again, so does Tahiry! But fat black bitches always wanna call someone else fat. Pure comedy.

The worse part of this stupid argument is when Rashidah tells Tahiry that she drives a BMW and Tahiry drives a Jeep. Which is funny because BMW doesn't give a fuck about fat Black bitches like you Rashidah.You wouldn't be hired to be an extra in a BMW commercial. And I can't freaking stand black idiots that promote white companies as if they're getting a check or something. All that you did was bring their brand down by mentioning them.


Anyway. After some more unnecessary insults Tahiry leaves.

So, Rich and Rashidah Ali are sitting down talking. And Cyn Santana pops up wearing a fur vest. And she is trying her hardest to be Bourgeois and use words like, "cutey" and "gorge" which is short for gorgeous. Typical nasty hood rat trying to fit in. Her and that disgusting Erica Mean need to go shoot porn! They know they want to.

Anyway, Rashidah, jokes about robbing Cyn for her boots. And with all of the faces that she's cut, and all of the money that she's stolen, I wonder whether or not her fiance is Apollo from The Real Housewives of Atlanta!

Now, out of no where, and I mean no where! Erica pops up on stage to perform her new flop song, "Making a fool of herself all over the world". I mean, "Dancing All over The World!"

And she looks and sounds ridiculous! She has on this little cheap nasty looking belly shirt. That looks extremely outdated. I know that I saw Britney Spears wear something very similar, when she was relevant! I'm talking before she went bald, crazy and began attacking cars with umbrellas! So this was a long ass time ago!

And Erica has one talent! And that's Lip Synching! Yeah Erica might be Jennifer Nopez in the booth! And yeah, she might dance stiffer than Bruce Jenner's face, watching a scary movie. But she sure can Lip Synch! I guess all of that pussy eating payed off after all!

Rashidah the tacky fat man with a Blonde wig loved it. And Cynthia, the Master Splinter of hood rats was ecstatic! One of her fake breasts almost popped out and everything!

So, Cyn tells Rich that Erica is in a relationship and that he has done some disrespectful things. And that he needs to cut it out. And Rich the alcoholic stops sipping his drink to talk. And he says,  "I don't get it. I'm trying to figure out how I violated anyone. A little kiss rape never hurt anybody! And if Erica chooses to have sausage over fish, then don't blame me! Blame your girl! Because your hoe chose me! She said I cum Chipotle"

Cyn who was a bit tipsy was confused at first, but then when she realized that J. No was cheating on her. She jumped out of her seat and ran to find Erica. I mean I haven't seen a fat Mexican move this fast since that night George shot Trayvon!

So Cyn gets back stage, finds Erica, and they art arguing. When Erica is confronted, she's stunned! I mean more stunned than that time she reached into her nightstand, in the dark, and thought she took out her vibrator, and accident pulled out the stun gun! I mean shocked for real for real!

And Erica attempts to run out of the room and like stall for time, instead of just talking with Cyn! So, Erica tries to go out of the room to find Rich, and Cyn pulled her back in  the room and said that Erica was about to go out there and talk her shit, then defend Rich tomorrow, and basically manipulate the whole situation and keep the love triangle going! And Cyn is ready to move on! About time!

So when Erica leaves the room and confronts Rich, she lets him know that him ruining her dream night is foul. And asked him to just admit that he doesn't care so that she can stop caring as well!

At this point, Erica claims to be done with Rich, and lets him know that the drama is just too much for her. Rich claims that Erica not only keeps telling him that she loves him, she called him to hit it a couple of days ago!

So, Erica leaves Rich and goes to argue with Cyn. And in the middle of Erica and Cyn screaming at each other, Rich storms in the room and starts acting extra light skinned! He's pointing at Erica and screaming at her, and pointing at Cynthia and screaming at her. He calling them bitches and everything! To make it all worse,  he threatens to leak nude photos of Erica Mena! LMAO! Wow! And I mean, it's not like that would hurt her career or anything. It would only help her actually. It would just merely introduce her to millions more people around the world. And I bet she looks fantastic naked!

So anyway! Erica is through with Rich using her. For the moment. We all know that he will be fucking her again! They have officially become the top story line of the show. They''ll be together in season 5. The scene ended off with that desperate and pathetic slut Erica claiming that Cyn and Rich can both go. Because she wants to be by herself! Yeah right heifer!

In our next scene. We visit Teqa in Murrary Hill NYC.
Were catching up with Peter Gunz and Amina Buddafly. Pretty much their conversation was the same old bull shit! And they are trying to figure out whether or not Peter is going to grow up. and live in the same house as his wife. like a normal couple. These two are pathetic! And if I hear that lispy bitch say the word, "husband" one more God Damn time! I don't care how pretty she is, or how talented she is, or how I'd beat it to saw dust! Her uttering the words, "my husband" drives me freaking crazy! Stop it already DAMMIT!

The other thing that nauseated me about this scene is Peters hat!
Peter Gunz hat looks like one of those old Nintendo video games. You know the cheap 8 bit game where you are controlling a space ship, and you have shoot the other space ships and aliens with those little dots? Yeah, just like that. Thankfully he only wore it once this season.


Now were at 5th avenue in Flat Iron NYC. Yandy a big black guy and a Jew woman are on a roof! And I am scarred for her because, the last time I saw a hook nose on a roof with a big black bull, he flew a kike! Yup he pushed her and her yamica right off the roof! Meshugana! And this why I don't allow my children around the Blacks! Especially the fat ones!

Anyway, Yandy-tard is running a fundraising event for a children's charity. And no, not for her kids! We all know that they aint got no daddy! I mean, even if he comes out of jail, his asshole is gonna look like Amina Buddafly's mouth! Hanging and crossing!

So just when the conversation about the charity was getting interesting. Yandy receives a call from Wolverine. I call him Wolverine because that's her EX Man! Surely Yandy will wise up and move on to my dick, I mean a better guy! Come on Yandy, you know that your cat is lonely, you know you want me to bust some nuts in that ass! I know by now that pussies so tight you can sharpen a pencil with it! Call me Yandy!

Anyway, Yandy loves charity, that's why she is with a guy that's in jail. Those Jordan's and porno films starring Aurora Jolie, are her top contributions.
So, anyway, Yandy told him to keep his mind right and his asshole tight! Because she doesn't want him coming out of jail with TBS, Tunnel Butt Syndrome!


So, now we visit Starlet's Gentleman's Club in Queens

Erica has to go motorboat Cynthia and convince her that all that she needs is her. This is of course after she said that both Cynthia and Rich could, "go"!

Erica claims that she is not still screwing Rich. And has the whore dacity to tell Cynthia that it was her night, and Cynthia and Richard ruined it for her.

And Cyn went the fuck off! She was yelling, and screaming and carrying on! I mean, you know how Latina's are. It was intense! She told Erica that she didn't ask to be in the relationship that they are in, and she's sick of Erica opening her legs all over the world!

Erica tries to do the infamous Mena face grab and hypnotize Cyn. But it didn't work! All of the I'm not trying to hurt you, look into my eyes, I swear I swears in the world. Just didn't work this time!

Forget all of that. I just wanna know this, seeing that Cynthia Santana has the biggest breast since the Statue of Liberty. When she is in that little Honda with her other 22 family members. I bet her cousin and them play David Cop A Feel!
I'll never forget that time in the 6th grade when those two little Puerto Rican boys told me that they would fuck their own sisters! Why? Because they said, "pussy has no face". I will never forget that! And yes, this actually did happen, no kidding.

So, now we are at Oz Studios
K. Michelle is getting prepared for the next leg of her tour. And she's singing about how you can't change a man, you can't force him to commit. You can't raise a man.

Tara and Yandy walk in, sit down and begin talking with her.
And Tara says that the more she listens to the album it's almost  like K. Michelle wrote it for her, every single song.

Then Tara says, how does she now?

Well she knows because black bitches like you are all connected to the same brain! You think with your genitals. And for whatever reason, you religiously believe that the only way a man can satisfy you in the bed room, is if he is a loser in the areas of life that are actually important. Such as responsibility, kindness, attitude, temperament, compatibility. Nah, that shit doesn't matter now does it? What does K Michelle always talk about? Big penis's and her woo ha!
Stereotypical black bitches I tell ya!

Anyway, I found out something that I didn't know. Come to find out K. Michelle had a son. Wow, so Tara, Yandy and K. Michelle really are all "statistics"! MUHUHAHA! LMAO! WOOO! *Clears Throat*.

I know that may sound foul, but I don't give a fuck. These idiots chose to be with drug dealers, gun slingers, woman beaters, cheaters, and PETER! *Taras Voice*

Anyway, these black women who will never be married toast some alcohol to raising good sons. That wont grow up to to beat up and cheat on their women. And go to jail like their men did. Whatever bitches! You deserve it! You get what you pay for, you irresponsible dirt bags. I swear that black bitches like the 3 amighos (amigos) right here, are just gay. They dress up like drag queens and then get with men who aren't gonna be there, just to have R.I.P. conversations about them. And when I say R.I.P., I don't mean Rest In Peace, I mean Residing in Prison.

As long as theirs a single Asian woman alive. I have hope to have children.

Anyway, in our final scene. We got to see a little bit of what the the cast is currently up to.

First up is Yandy. Her story reminds me off that song we used to sing as kids, the one about kissing in a tree. Here is Yandy's version. Yandy and Mendecees, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G. First came fucking, then came a baby, then came jail and now Yandy is pushing a baby carriage by her damn self! Wonder what Mendecees is doing, and whether or not his bowels are still working! I bet his butt hole is so big right now, when he farts it sounds like a tug boat.

Nah, but seriously! She still hasn't moved on yet! She needs to do whats best for her and the children. And find her a new man, one who isn't singing Akon songs about being Locked Up!

Anyway, Joe and Tahiry are still pretending to be broken up for now. And he is slowly but surely getting back into her good graces. I mean, after all, she is a whore who isn't getting any younger. And in all honesty, if Joe's music career was popping right now, she would have said yes to that proposal. I mean the chick is in her mid thirties with a double chin and an ass that needs a bra to stand up! EWWW! In all honesty. She can't do better than Budden. She really can't!

As for the fake lesbian, fake pop star. Erica Mena will continue to be a delusional whore. And continue to try and sing, which she will never be able to do. But as technology gets better, when the next generation of auto tune, or some other invention comes out. She will eventually have a, "hit record". I am sure of it. She'll suck and fuck the right producer one of these days. And get her a charted hit record! I have my BMI papers right next to me. When I become producer of the year next year, Mena is gonna give me that Chad Ocho Cinco. Yeah, that banging head!

Also, I love the cheap Gold dress that she's wearing in this scene, she looks like the Little Spermaid!

As for Erica Jean she's still working on her relationship with Saigon. Even if he is wearing a dead baby bear as a jacket. She still loves him! She just can't shake her big headed midget fetish. Oh well, at least she looked really nice in this scene.

Amina is still falling for Peter's lies. And he swears that it's for real this time. HA HA! YEAH RIGHT! So, he will be cheating and lying again. Just tune in next season.

And as for Tara, she's still single mothering it. Still a bad actress. Still irrelevant. And still has enough lines around that old ass neck to bring Whitney Houston back from the grave! Just to get a sniff! *Whitney voice* KISS MY ASS!

K. Michelle is headlining her first tour, and changing her hair every song, K Michelle has more (HAIR) here than a Rasheeda and Kirk conversation.  And of course K Michelle still aint got no man! She needs to get with Bustah Rhymes! He can get her Woo Ha all in check!


And that was about it. Other than Cynthia Santana and Erica Mena saying, "NIGGA" more times than a Quentin Tarantino film. That was it!

It was a hell of a show. A damn good Finale! As of now, I will be reviewing the reunion. If you give a fuck, come back! If not fuck you!

See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Put A Ring On It | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Put A Ring On It | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

Warning! This episode annoyed me, I really didn't want to do this review. I hope that the next episode is much better. Moving along....

The episode starts out where it left off. At Time Square with Tahiry "my mom didn't give me a middle name", Jose and Joe "down low" Budden. Joe is proposing to Tahiry. While chewing gum! Some people can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Joe can say that when he was a young man, he chewed gum and proposed to an out of shape, over the hill booty model with a triple chin.

Despite persistent begging from Tahiry for Joe to not poop the question, he went ahead and asked her to marry him anyway!

And she let him know that she trust him as far as she can throw him! With Saigon's little ass arms! Which aint no where!

Joe lets Tahiry know that he tried, he did his part yada yada yada. In other words, he is trying to make her feel as if it's her fault that things didn't work out.
And even though she technically didn't utter the word, "no". He accepted her, "I don't trust you speech as a no."

In our next scene we visit OK Cigars in SoHo NYC. Peter, a man who survives on eating nothing but pussy! And his little bite sized friend, Saigon. Are meeting up outside of the cigar shop on a bench.

These two idiots are catching up on whats been going on in their lives recently. Such as, Tara showing up at the club, dressed like Miley Cyrus's stunt woman. And prancing around with her new sex toy, Aaron.

And Saigon, out of no where asks Peter about Amina Buddafly's sex game. And I can tell you this for sure, that chick fucks and sucks like a porn star. But you never ever tell your male friend some shit like that, so Peter plays it off and tells Saigon that in so many words, the sex is "fine". I for one know that, "fine" is code word for she gets down like Katja Kassin or Sasha Grey.


Seeing that Peter didn't take the bait for Saigon's intrusive question. Saigon attempts to lighten up the conversation with some Bull Shit about Germans making good porn. And to just look up GGG, or German Goo Girls if he doesn't believe him!. Yeah. So Saigon then tells Peter that he has the world in the palm of his fetus sized hand. Thanks to Google!

Then Saigon tells Peter, "I'm good on the internet. I'm even able to diagnose mental disabilities in babies" Yada yada yada.  All the while, Peter just rolled his eyes and tells Saigon to move along and tell him what's new with him.

So, Saigon lets Peter know that the therapist said that his son Lil B needs to be stimulated more. Like taught something other than his dad calling his mom a fake butt, fake bag carrying whore.  Apparently that doesn't constitute stimulation according to Dr. Chloe Carmichael. As for Saigon and Erica's relationship, they are getting to know each other better. Things such as, if you sit a cup on the floor Saigon can dunk a ball in it, and Erica can whistle Mozart through her gap! What a talented couple! No wonder the baby can build a house by using his head as a hammer, his mothers gap as a wrench and his daddy as a door stop!

Nah, I'm kidding. And no one cares about Saigon's life!He doesn't even re-watch his own scenes!

So now we are at a Hotel in SoHo NYC. It's Cynthia Santana's birthday. And she walks up in the building to find a trail of rose pedals that go all the way up a huge flight of stairs! And of course, Cynthia bent her big ass down, and picked up a few rose pedals to eat along the way!

When she done huffing and puffing her chubby flaps of meat, all the way up those 15 or so stairs. She greets Erica Mena with that infamous fake lesbian kiss. You know, the one where they grab each others faces? Yeah, that one!

Anyway, Erica either bought, or made Cynthia some outdated, really crappy, Dancing With The Stairs, dancer looking dress. It's almost a nude color and covered with cheap stones! Perfect for the average tacky Latina in your life!


Now the two whores are at Starlet's Gentleman's Club. Having the time of their lives! And Cyn is so happy to have a day off from thugging! She is away from her violent, crazy, piss smelling projects that she is usually confined to! She's so happy to not have to cut someone, or shoot anybody for a day! She's just happy to enjoy life for once!  You know? Have a Happy Birthday with alcohol, a fake lesbian friend, ill fitting, poorly designed clothing, all on a staged reality TV. show! I wouldn't be surprised if it's not even her real birthday!

So, Erica lets Cyn know that this is just a taste, just a lick, just a peck kiss of whats to cum if she continues along with the soul selling! Cyn, then tells Erica that she will give her her afterlife, if Erica is loyal to her.

And after some more fake kissing and face grabbing, we move on.

Now were at Vinnie Style's in Brooklyn. Erica Mena is meeting up with her gay best friend and stylist AlBee. Al Bee damned if he isn't gay as fuck! Anyway she is so stressed out about her corny love triangle, that she is flaring her big old coke snorkeling nostrils!

So Erica let's gay Al know that she loves having Cynthia, the pussy eating attack bitch around! But AlBee tells her that as a homosexual, pussy is cool and all, but he knows from first hand and first lip experience dick is addicting! That's why dick is in the middle of the addiction! He then goes on to tell Erica that she knows damn well that she wants more of Rich Dollaz pale penis!

But enough of all of that. Here is where the episode finally gets good.

In our next scene, we are treated to the sound of a remote control car, Saigon is pulling up to Erica Jean and her daddies house and his toy car is almost out of bat trees, "battery's". So he undoes his seat belt and walks down the stairs on the side of his little car and steps out with a bouquet of flowers. Now, I don't know why a man meeting the father of his girlfriend would want to bring his potential daddy in law a fistful of flowers. But hey, It's Saigon! The guy with a degree in googling.

So, Saigon walks his oompa loompa sized ass up to the fence. He tries to be hood, and hop it! But he hit his head on some grass! Get's pissed, dust the dirt off of his shoulder and approaches the door.  When he finally walks the 20 feet from the  yard to the front door. Which took him about 2 hours. He rang the door bell with a stick, so he could reach it. Erica Opens the door. Nearly steps on him, says sorry. She then picks him up and brings him inside.

He tells her to not ask about the dirt on all over him. And then hands her the flowers and says, put these to the side. I need both of these little useless arms free in case I have to pull a Zimmerman, and whip your daddy's old crusty ass!

At this point, I thought that Erica's father was gonna pop up with a long flowing gray beard like them dudes in the Kung Fu films! I totally thought that he was gonna pop up in an Army fatigue, wearing a helmet and holding a baseball bat! But nah, he was just some old ass ninja wearing slippers and pajamas! How fucking disappointing.

So, Saigon and Daddy Jean finally meet. And before Saigon can even say, "hello". Erica's father says, "well, I can see that we have a lot in common. Young man. We both love my daughter, we both love my grand son, we both enjoy wearing cheap, outdated denim shirts. And neither one of us has a neck!"

So Head and Shoulders aka Saigon turns towards daddy Jean and says, "Yeah, everybody tells me that having no neck is a disability. Because when we eat, we don't swallow. We merely place food in our mouths and hold our head back! But hey, like I tell people, aint nothing like frustrating a Vampire. The look in their eyes when they figure out that they have nothing to bite is priceless! Oh and thank for inviting me to your no neck of the woods."

Anyway, So Robbie, Erica Jeans father, asks Saigon about how in the world he was able to get Erica pregnant at his size. And Saigon let him know that yes, he has fallen inside of her on multiple occasions. And the way that he got her pregnant was through a term he read on goggle called a splash conception!

*clears throat*

So, Saigon asks Robbie if its cool if his daughter and grandson move in with him. He told Saigon, "sure"! Then he told them, "I already have your shit packed!" Now Robbie can have Saigons mortal enemy, Joe Budden come over with Joe's dad, and they can bring the hoes! He then told Saigon to leave the way that he came in, the doggy door. Ripped his robe off in front of production and did a naked hand stand! While screaming, "I'M FREE!" "That annoying greedy bitch and that fucking hollering baby talking that DAH, DAH DAH, shit! All God damned day are finally gone!" Then he shaved his head, poured gasoline on all over his naked body, and exclaimed that he's the Anti Christ and set himself on fire. At least that's how I saw the it!

In our next scene we visit Amaze in Midtown NYC.
Erica is having a party for her 2nd book. Chronicles of a confirmed fake lesbian whore! I mean Chronicles of a confirmed Bachelorette. And the cover features a half naked Erica Mena, with a light skinned guy in the background with no shirt, on and a hot Latina on the floor holding onto Erica's hand. So, basically those people on the book with her are there to represent Richard Dollaz and Cynthia Santana!

So anyway, Rashidah is throwing this get together, and with her violent, cutting bouncers up and credit card number stealing, ultra grimy past, this wont turn out too well. Wherever Rashidah goes, weave, the scent of food and drama follows.

Anyway, Rich shows up because theirs free drinks! Rich is such an alcoholic that he can smell the alcohol in mouth wash..... with the cap on!

So, Erica, whose lips look like a crusty old woman's vagina,  lets Rich know that he was foul for leaving her in that restaurant crying like a baby the other day. And basically, she needs him to kiss her ass so that she will stop playing hard to get, and stop humping her stuffed animal aka Cynthia. Because she's feeling Rich more than she's feeling Cyn because, latex dick is making her chafe down there!

And then she goes into this total bull shit speech. Where she is calling herself getting on Riches good side. She starts telling Rich what she thinks that he wants to hear.

And with that said, I am calling a timeout to say this. Women, when you are dealing with a man. Always tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Women like to be lied to, not men. Women are delusional and not want to be told that they are fat, or look ridiculous and what not. Men on the other hand are attracted to honesty. The way to a woman's heart and vagina is through is deception. Not a mans. And I know that easily more than half of the women that read my blog and watch my videos wont take what I just said seriously. And will tell themselves that they just need to become better liars, but that is not the way to do things.

So anyway, she is completely bull shitting Rich, and telling him that she loves him, and how he is a big part of her life, yada yada yada. Erica is being extremely flirtatious and disrespectful. And this right here women, is why men don't want for their woman to have any contact with her ex. Anyway, Cyn walks up with perfect timing to catch Erica acting like herself, a slut.

And Cynthia is all like, damn. I might be chubby as hell and insecure as fuck! But I didn't come here to see the two of you acting like a couple. And Cyn lets Rich know that she wants to sit down and talk to him. At first, Rich was reluctant, as he made the infamous Jay z, "stink face". But he agrees to talk with Cynthia.

And Cynthia let Rich know that him kissing with Erica Mena was corny. Yada yada yada! The bitch said "corny" too many times to count! Rich just sat there looking drunk and crazy because, he wanted to say that Latina's are dumb and have small vocabularies. So, instead of sounding like a "racist', he just bit his tongue!

So, Erica pops up and plops her fake ass down in between these two.
And Cynthia let out the c word again! No, not Chiptole, she said, "corny" AGAIN! I am not sure of whether or not Richard was called corny when he was a child but, at this point he had enough and dude flipped the fuck out!

He went off on Cyn! He told her that she was fat and retarded, and a coke head. I'm shitting you! He told her that she was a bird, a mail order bride and that he lent Erica to her.

Most viewers probably didn't notice the little trick question that Cynthia threw in there, she asked Rich whether or not he was trying to hurt her feeling. Most people probably thought she said feelings, but she didn't, she said feeling. She has 1 feeling, and that's the feeling of being full after eating all of that food and pussy!

So, Erica told him to just leave! And When Rich gets up and walks out of the club. Erica follows him and out of no where. Rich jumps on Erica like a hungry lion and starts kissing all over her. I have never seen a man kiss rape a woman. But I guess Rich is an innovator!

In our next scene, Joe Budden hops off of a New Jersey transit bus and visits his mother, Faye. At her apartment in Jersey City New Jersey. And Faye has on the ugliest pink glasses  of all time! But, I'll get back to her appearance in a later scene.

Joe tells Faye that basically, Tahiry said, "no" to marrying him. And that her words and actions don't match. And I feel bad for Budden. I can tell you this, Tahiry found a new guy, possibly at her movie shooting. And she just didn't tell Joe yet. Watch her pop up with some sucker, probably another sissy in season 5.

So, now were at Vella, at the Upper East Side of New York City.
Tara and Yandy are meeting up to have an average black woman conversation. "Girl my man is messed up!" "Girl my man is messed up too!"

Yandy, the fool sat up there and told Tara that she looked amazing when she was dressed like a trailer park Cheerleader the other night. Of course that ugly, insecure, mole faced bitch Tara took the bait.

These two idiots are supposed to be the upper echelon of black womanhood. They aren't bald headed, they went to school. They are well spoken and can financially take care of themselves and their children. Whoop dee doo!

Of all of the men in the world for them to chose from. Yandy laid down with a drug dealer who is being accused of being invovled with over 2 million dollars of drugs being trafficked, and or sold. And Tara is in a relationship with a habitual liar, cheater, felon with 7 children. And you wonder why I'm going to marry me a Korean chick? Oh and I forgot to mention. Tara started out as the other woman.

So anyway, this idiot Yandy has the nerve to say that her and Tara were forced into their situations. WOW! So, I guess they were forced at dick point! A dick to the head, and the command, "stick your legs up!" Then Yandy the retard took her stupidity to a whole new level when she said that their men have made them the women what they have become.

You know... statistics!

So, in a nut shell, Yandy admitted to the world that stupid black women that like no good men. Chose to be with these men because it's some sort of test or competition to see how much unnecessary punishment that a bitch can endure!
It's the Special Olympics for hair hats. It's like, getting your clit pierced, and putting a lighter, to the metal in your crotch! Anyway, Then she starts talking that stupid, "strong woman" shit.

Basically, these crazy bitches think that they are the "hero" if they are in a relationship with a loser. Because the credit from, raising a grown up baby man,  taking care of the children while having a job,  will go to them. And if they were to be with a decent man, he will steal her, "glory". So she can't be with a decent man because, being with a shitty one opens the door for her to receive credit for "saving the day". Wow, these are some twisted bitches!

Anyway, we leave that depressing scene, that made me feel sick and kind of pissed me off at the same time. To see some pure comedy! My favorite superhero show! Midget Man and the Gap-enator!

Yeah! We are at Saigon's toy box of an apartment in Nanuet New York!
Fabrizio Conte is shooting a music video with Saigon, Erica Jean and their baby.
The trio are seated at Saigon's table with food that he made with his easy bake oven!

What makes this scene so funny is that when the director says, "cut". Saigon  awkwardly picks up his fork as if he is going to eat some of that disgusting looking slop. But he never takes a bite of that waste! They can't seriously have cooked that shit. Must have been left over food from you know whose gap.

So, Saigon is tired of Erica going home. He wants a permanent slumber party! With onsies and all! Saigon is lonely! Anyway, Erica thought about the whole her moving in thing and she thinks that it is a good idea! And I think she is down right Goofy! This asshole shoots a little no budget music video in his apartment and here she is ready to move in with him. The same little psycho, Chocolate Chucky, that just threw her bag and called her a fake butt bitch a few episode ago.

But she forgave him for that. She just has one request for Saigon, no more women. Saigon replies by saying that he'd rahter have a family, over having some ass. Then he says some bull shit about wanting his child to have a better life than he did. You know, growing up a little person, and with no parents to boot. And Erica just roles her eyes into the air and says "aww" to what he's saying. Ahem, and this is why I will be marrying an Asian woman. These, "black", chicks don't give a fuck about us. She was just like yeah, umm, no one cares Saigon.

Anyway so, now Saigon and Erica Jean are together, in a committed relationship. And Saigon said something that will go over most peoples heads, he said that he was in 2 relationships and he did not cheat. WOW! So, does he mean that he was in2 relationships in his whole lifetime? Or was he in a relationship with both of the mothers of his children, that are1 month apart at the same time?

Who knows!

The best part about this scene is when Saigon asks Erica to sleep with him.
He told her that his balls are heavier than Aliyah's airplane!

In the next scene, that sexy ass Amina Buddafly, who looks just like a Vulture, and that dirty Peter Gunz are in Jersey City New Jersey to check out an apartment. And while looking at a second bedroom, Peter's first thoughts were, "yeah, this could be a music studio". And the real estate agent, and Amina were thinking, that the room could be a nice nursery!

Pitiful Peter already has 7 children. So busting a nut in Amina and creating the 8th wonder isn't on his list of plans for the near future! Remember, Amina is supposed to be his "vacation" away from his normal life. And here Amina, his stress reliever is messing up his fun with baby talk.


 Peter brings up an interesting point. He states that he has been having children non stop as if he is on a schedule. And his balls need a break! Sounds like he needs to switch places with Saigon. Hell, Saigon all ready eluded to wanting to fuck Amina anyway! Let him make the baby with Amina!

Anyway, come to find out, the mothers of Peters children were in this order. Gina, Erica, Tara and now Amina. And that ironically spells. GET A...


All he needs to do now is get with a Veronica, Adria, Sara, Emma, Cathy, Tonya, Octavia, Mary, and Yara. And that spells G.E.T. A. V.E.S.E.C.TO.M.Y. Yes, Peter should get a vasectomy.



So, Amina is ready to sign the paper work for the apartment and Peter is ready to run away! Peter is allgedly, team, no more babies. Well Peter. Go get the snip!

In the next scene, after about a week after Joe Budden's failure of an album, I mean failure of a marriage proposal!

Tahiry visits Joe's mother, Faye at her little cramped apartment in the projects! She's sitting on that nasty booger green couch! Looking like, baby shit mixed with mustard! Joe really needs to buy his mother a couch for Christmas! And Tahiry has this ridiculous head wrap on. Looking like a Genie in a 40oz bottle!
Faye has on a very interesting sweater, it's pink and nasty, and itchy looking. But I'll go lite on Faye because, she has yet to tick me off. So, I'll be nice with my critiques of her ugly sweater and them snakes on her head!

Anyway, Faye is basically trying to psychologically manipulate Tahiry into rethinking the, "no" that she gave Joe Budden about marriage! Wow lady! You wanna make this chick feel guilty? It's not like Tahiry is a good catch or anything. And I am not saying this because she is allegedly married to some other guy named Nicholas J. Brown, and the thing about her allegedly spreading Herpes like butter on a hot muffin! You didn't hear that from me!

Anyway, in a nut shell, she isn't sure of what she is going to do at this point

In our next scene our favorite fake lesbian and officially my favorite fake pop princess, is lip synching in the booth to a song that has been that's had more fine tuning that Joan Rivers face!

Anyway, I will have to record some music at Stadium Red in Harlem NYC. I mean. Any studio that can make a bitch whose singing voice sounds like Dolphins eating razors while swimming in gasoline, actually sound listenable. Well, anyone can sound good there.

Anyway, they are discussing the mess that happened where Rich nearly raped Erica at the launch of her second book. Rich had the nerve to say that his forced kisses were mutual and consensual. Tragic Mulatto. But Erica the slut loves the attention of course! So, she's cool with it!

Erica, with her ugly greenish yellowish eye shadow is just sitting up there in the studio on that mixing board, like queen slut! She's as happy as a hooker drowning in a sea of diamond studded dicks!

Anyway, after a tiny bit of convincing and couple pulls of Erica's delicate wrist. She sits her big fake butt on Riches lap. After a bunch of corny flirting, these two losers agree to keep annoying us.

In our final scene we visit Tara's apartment. Peter is standing outside waiting for her. She is jogging, returning home from a run. And when she arrives, sheis extremely embarrassed, because she doesn't have her face on! I mean, without make up, hair and wardrobe Tara looks worst that Felecia the crack head in Friday!

Peter is continuing to psychologically manipulate Tara, he claims that his relationship with Amina has cost him his family and his children. Yada Yada Yada, what a bunch of bull shit! They pretend to be broken up for now. And before I shit and throw up on myself, I have to go!

Tara, looks like an old, hungry homeless squirrel in this scene, and I just can't bare to talk about it anymore.

See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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Love And Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 10 | RED ALERT | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love And Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 10 | RED ALERT | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

The show starts out at the True Hair Company in Midtown NYC.
Yandy, K. Michelle and Tara are meeting up to give Tara an extreme makeover! And when I say extreme, I mean extreme in the worst way! Now why would she
want to make drastic changes to her appearance? Because she is going on a, "date" with one of the twins that she meant at her acting audition last episode.
She refers to this encounter as a, "date" in quotations "|" because, quotations look like labia lips. In reality, the reason why she's going on this, "date" is to get some dick! Like I said before, when women move on to new dick, they change their hair and clothing. Men, you've been warned!

So, Yandy brainstorms and comes up with the terrible idea of, Tara dressing up as a trashy version of Heidi Klum. Which is hilarious because Heidi is a piece of trash already! So Tara throws on this long blonde wig, and before she can get the mop on her head good. She starts going into full fledged Miley Cyrus pancake twerking mode! I swear, she had that thing on for under one minute, and began shaking her little ass! And yes, between the stupid looking wig, and that flat back, she looked like a turtle.

Which is appropriate because Yandy was dressed like a villain from a cartoon anyway. I swear this Yandy Smith bitch can't dress to save her life! In an earlier episode she looked like Sho Nuff from the Last Dragon. And this episode Yandy is dressed like an evil wrestler! She has on these Satanic shoulder pads and a black paisley bandanna design on her dress! And this is the person that Tara trusts to give her fashion advice? I guess she'll hire Dog mouthed Amina Buddafly to be her dentist next too right?

In our next scene. Rich Dollaz hops out of his car with all blue on, looking like an undercover cop. He has to go and visit his Mom, Jewel Dollaz at her house in New Jersey. And Jewel is washing off some fruit, yet she doesn't tell us what she's about to do with it! Hey she isn't married you know!

So, Rich is crying to his mother about Erica Mena. And his mother lets him know that he needs to tuck is dick up in his ass, like Nya Lee! Because, Erica is beautiful, yeah, but she isn't someone to bring home to mother. So, focus on business and grow up! That's right Ms. Jewel! When you aren't shoving carrots up your crumbled ass from the skinny end, you give some great advice!

Anyway, Rich has an up coming modeling event. And a lot of the contacts that he has made in the modeling world come from his relationship with Erica Mena.
But regardless. Jewel tells Rich that he's weak and pathetic, and an alcoholic!
Oh well, I guess we'll have to see what happens with this mess.

Now were at, the Star Scott Residence in New Jersey. Tahiry is visiting Rashidah Ali with the other bridesmaids for a dress fitting, for Rashidah's wedding. No words on whether Rashidah is marrying a woman, or if Rashidah is marrying fellow man! Hopefully it's not a gay wedding, I'd like to see Rashidah marry a woman like all other men should do!

 Tahiry tells Rashidah that Joe Budden is still posting women's butts on instagram. And Rashidah lets her know that, Tahiry has turned her butt into a business! And that the way that Tahiry treats her own ass as a product, what does she expect from Joe? Then Rashidah goes on to let her know that her whorish actions from her 20's carrying on into her 30's may be why Joe Budden is doing the crazy things that he does. I mean what kind of man would ever take Tahiry, the door to door butt sales woman seriously?

Rashidah even goes unto tell Tahiry the total truth about herself. According to Rashidah, Tahiry has attention issues and daddy issues. Which explains why she is in a 9-10 year long on and off relationship with a down low guy like Joe Budden! Anyway, Tahiry can't handle the truth, so she got up and ran out of the house.

In our next scene, we visit True Sound Lounge in Soho NYC.
Rich Dollaz new model Jessica Santiago has a photo shoot with Black Men Magazine. And thirsty Rich has already smashed more than once! The funny thing about this scene is seeing him attempt to talk, "game" to this woman. He sounds and looks so pathetic. I'm talking Native American, Thanksgiving corny.

But I love how Jessica makes a whore gesture. When she's talking to Rich, she sticks her tongue out. A subliminal whore gesture for sluts who have oral fixations. I'm not mad at her! I doubt many viewers noticed but, she is a Dollaz Unlimited Model. And that spells dum (dumb)! But without the B, as in so dumb, that you can't even spell dumb!

Anyway, my main issue with Rich Dollaz is his awkward and thirsty behavior around women. He reached out and poked this models titty! I mean, who does that? Whenever Rich gets around women he looks as about as awkward as a dike eating a hot dog! If he didn't have money, he wouldn't touch pussy at a petting zoo. MEOW!


Now we arrive at Hollywood Stunts in Brooklyn. Boring K. Michelle and even more boringer (it's a word if I say so!) Tara are meeting up with the twin actors Aaron and Andrew for a stunt class. And K. Michelle has the nerve to claim that this is some Beyonce stuff right here!. Dear K. Michelle! Beyonce doesn't know who you are, nor does she care! You are a reality TV. show slut, on a show with 4-5 million viewers plus an episode. Whose album only hit number 2! Beyonce threw an album out on the internet and shot to number 1 with no self promotion other than posting an itunes link on her twitter! So, stop mentioning people who are bigger than you!

Anyway, K. Michelle, being the thirsty, Country, butter drinking whore that she is. Asks Andrew to take his top off. And like a true down low brother, when he takes his shirt off, he's covered in tattoos and has his pants sagging. *snaps* I swear! Black bitches are AIDS magnets.

Anyway, Tara is so thirsty for new penis that she jumps from a 20 foot platform just to impress twin cupcake over there! Apparently this guy was impressed! Tara and Aaron kissed each other on the mouth! And yes, it was completely awkward!
It looked like her first kiss! Someone needs to tell Tara that kissing penis and kissing lips require two different techniques.

Now we are at the Blew Smoke Cigar room in Brooklyn.

Peter Gunz is letting Rich Dollaz know that he should have taken the easy route the day that Erica threw a plate at him, and he threw a glass back at her. And by easy route, I mean doing the easiest thing a person could ever do when encountering Erica Mena, which is to be the bigger person.

Off topic, Rich has a drink as usual. Fucking alcoholic! His prostate must look like pasta! I bet his piss smells like gasoline! Anyway.

Peter feels that he made the wrong move by letting that disease get under his skin! And when I say disease, I mean, Erica Menagitis.
Anyway, the real reason why they did this scene together is because
 Peter needs sandwich money. And Rich is the hand that feeds him. He came by to say, "sorry" and to get some work from Rich. Seeing that nobody needed to get blown away at the moment. Rich let's him know that he has a Dollaz Unlimited Models launch event. And he is willing to hire that sorry Peter for a DJ'ing job! Peter kisses Riches feet for saving the day again!

 In the next scene. We visit Negro Claro in Washington Heights NYC.
For the record, Negro Claro is Spanish for "Cleo Petra was a Black woman".
Anyway, Joe Budden came up with a silly idea. Meet up with Lexie, Tahiry's fat sister, butter her big ass up and get her to help him to convince Tahiry to say yes when he pops the question. And when I say, "the question". I don't mean, the question of whether or not Tahiry will continue to keep his homosexual, drag queen lifestyle secret!

Anyway, to make a long story short. Lexie finds it hard to believe that Joe Budden is finally ready to settle down with a female. And after a tiny bit of convincing. She agrees to not tell Tahiry about this meeting. And she reluctantly gave him her blessing. Yada Yada Yada!

So, now where at W.i.P. in Hudson Square, NYC.
Dollaz Unlimited Models is having their launch party. Peter is Djing. And Rich walks up and introduces him to his first model, *whistles* Jessica Santiago.
In the meanwhile, Tara shows up with her new penis, Aaron! And she is dressed up in a long blonde wig, a white jumper and high heeled shoes that have her walking she just got fucked by a horse, HEAD! Anyway, she looks 200% ridiculous. She looks like Shitty Minaj! And she can barely get into the club to greet Yandy and she's already making a flat ass of her self by twerking! Yeah, the chick dressed like Halle Berry in BAPS is twerking her paper thin ass, embarrassing her date and all! I'm just glad they told us what it was that she was doing. Because when she started, "twerking" I thought she just had gas, and a wedgie!

So, where would Tara get such a stupid idea like dressing up as a barnyard prostitute from? Yandy of course! The queen of costumes! People are so busy looking at Tara looking like, "Whose this super hero looking bitch? And how is a flat ass a super power? Does it deflect bullets? Does she transform into a wall? Does it print receipts?"

They were too busy saying stuff like this to notice the skirt that Yandy is wearing. She had on a fur skirt made of so many cute dead animals, I can never watch a Disney movie again! You ruined my childhood bitch!
If you really wanna know what the Fox Says. He says, "take me off this tacky Heffer!"

But back to Tara, not only is she dressed like Halloween in Hell, the bitch has about as much rhythm as 3 legged washing machine. Tara can't dance on beat to a skipped record. She reminds me of that one family member that we all have. You know, the one on Meth, crack, coke, or some other hell of a drug? The one that embarrasses the whole family at the family reunion. You know. The one that does their little, "signature move", where they turn around and then by the time they turn back around, everyone has left and their dancing by themselves. Yeah that one!

Anyway, here's a prediction. Mark my words, Yandy will be really cool with Amina in the future. And possibly have a falling out with Tara. I can understand her letting her, "friend" wear that tacky outfit because Yandy walks around looking like a blind man who got dressed in the dark. But that wig! I mean, I hate weave, and all . But I must admit. That Yandy chick has the tightest weave game of all time! That shit looks amazing. I have always been the type of guy to want to throw a hair hat in the sky like a graduation. But Yandy's is almost acceptable. And with weave that nice, you let your, "girl" dress up like that. That's a set up of some sort.

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, if Yandy  in fact wasn't setting Tara up on some shady shit. Then Tara must have been dressing like this to disguise her self, so that she can spy on Peter. Going incognegro is one thing. But, if the cameras are all on you, it's a dead giveaway to who you are. Plus Peter knew that she'd be there because, Yandy would be there, Yandy is Tara's only female friend, and they are both on the same TV show. Duh! Simple mathematics by the way of, Peter! Tara is no where near as, "smart" as she thinks that she is.

I just find it to be funny that Yandy and Peter are cousins, and here Yandy is trying to help Tara find new men to mash her guts to goo! Via her tighter hole! If anyone needs to move on from their currently relationship, it's Yandy! Her little pussy is so depressed and lonely, it has her trying to get everyone around her laid! Take your own advice Yandy and get yourself a scratching post.


So Erica allegedly found out about this event on Instagram. She wasn't invited, yet she shows up announced, dressed up in all black everything to boot! I'm talking black hair, black dress, blag bag and black soul! And she is looking for her black cock, aka Rich Dollaz!

When she finds him, seeing that the show is fake, she roles up right when he's kissing his new sexy model jump off. And Erica's shady, nasty mouth has Rich dunking his sagging face into his alcohol! But forget all of that! Erica has the nerve to talk badly about Jessica Santiago having a mangled mouth. And with me being a man, I can tell you one thing about a pretty girl with a messy mouth. If you see a girl who is a 7 out of 10 or hotter, with a mouth that looks like she's been sucking on a hot brick! If she's a good catch other than having teeth like a boxer with no arms. You better wife her! Here's why!  That yuk mouth is like that because, can suck on a quarter and stretch the face! Trust me!

Erica used to be a ball biter herself. Nowadays she's experimenting with women. But like most so called, "lesbians" she deep down inside craves the sausage and eggs! And Erica has a funny tooth in her mouth, so she needs to stop! She sucked a career out of Riches nuts and lined her stomach with it. So fuck out of here!
Just remember Erica, without make up, plastic surgery and men that will fuck you for a job. You'd be homeless, and living in the box next to Peter. So be a grateful cunt and not a spiteful one.

Anyway, Erica walks away and goes to the bar. Rich follows her like the lost little puppy dog without a tag that he is! And Erica let him know that she knows that Rich has smashed Jessica. Yada Yada Yada, Rich gets caught up in the moment and asks Erica for a kiss. And with the magic of fake television, Jessica walks up behind him with perfect timing to catch it. And after some words are exchanged between the women, Erica throws her drink into Jessica's face! Security thankfully broke things up pretty quickly.

And, Richard is having himself a good old time! He loves endangering women! What a business man! Anyway, somebody needs to throw a drink on Erica, so her makeup can stream down her face and we can see the ogre that she is underneath it all.  So, Rich being the thirsty clown that he is blames Jessica, not Erica. Erica let's Rich know that Jessica, in her not so humble opinion, is an Erica Mena wanna be! And if Rich wanted a fake Erica, she might have lent him Cynthia Santana for 24 hours.  Talk about the truth coming out when you're angry! This psycho path, fake lesbian just admitted to Cyn being a pawn in her game! Anyway, she let's Rich know that either he will bow down to her evil and do as she says, or leave her alone. Then the Gargoyle storms off taking her evil presence with her! Erica has the debil in her! She needs jebus!

What I find ironic is that Rich was just yelling at Erica about being a psychopath and fighting with everyone. Then when Erica, who is signed to Rich Dollaz as an employee, picks a fight with his newest employee, it makes his dick so hard he can club a baby seal to death with it? Okay!

In our next scene, Yandy is in Midtown New York, with a big bald headed, gay beaver looking mother fucker in a cheap jacket. I mean, her directer Noel, which spells Leon backwards. And Rich Dollaz walks up in there wearing a burgundy blanket with a sweater on top. To match the leather bedding that Yandy is wearing. She looks like a Karate couch, a Kung Fu Futon or some shit!

Anyway, Yandy lets Rich know that she wants to begin looking outside of New York for talent and she wants to lock down a distributor for their record label as well. Rich totally agrees and the alcoholic has a drink to that! And he tells Yandy that he thinks that he is ready to wrestle with an alligator, I mean begin an actual committed relationship with Erica. He just has to send Cynthia the wet back, away in a chipotle canoe.

 In our next scene, we visit Joe Budden's house in Edgewater New Jersey. He's there with Mr. Flawless, no homo! They're picking out an engagement ring for Tahiry. And Flawless *snaps* made Budden *snaps twice* a custom black box which was too large for a ring! It was probably better suited for a ring, necklace and bracelet set. If not, it would work perfectly for a coffin for Saigon.

So Lexie shows up wearing the ugliest blonde hair do. Wait, what is it with black bitches with blonde hair? Hey, if you wanna look like a rotten banana, do you!
Anyway, she is dressed like Missy! She has on this fugly black and white outfit with these big round bolts on her collar. Looking like a sofa! And she's wearing stockings with timberland boots! She's giving me gay construction worker all the way!

 Anyway, Lexie loves the ring, and her crush on her sisters on and off again boyfriend is apparent. If Joe never smashed, he could have right then and there.


 In our next scene we visit Mellisime in Midtown New York City.
Rich is finally telling Erica how he truly feels. But whatever he's selling she isn't buying. She told him that after the other night with Jessica, she's officially over him. Rich continues to drown his sorrows in alcohol as he was drinking in this scene as usual. And the scene ends with a man walking out and Erica crying, which is the story of her life. This is why she took the lesbian route. But she will soon find out that the problem in her relationships is her!

In our final scene, Joe Budden is suited up in a Tuxedo, sitting in a limousine holding a red box. I thought that the only thing that it would be useful for at that size, is to store Peter Gunz belongings or Erica Mena' s dignity! Then I realized that Tahiry's ring is in there. That's if she accepts it of course. Hmm! Cheddar cheese!

So Tahiry is standing out in Time Square in the cold, with nothing to keep her warm except her hefty forehead and her ten gallon hair hat! Now it might be freezing, but Tahiry still has her back peeking out underneath her shirt! Now that's wife material right there! *Clears throat* You were right about this chick Rashidah!

So Joe calls up Tahiry and after a corny conversation between the 2, with dialogue exchanged that I wouldn't repeat, even if I was getting paid to do so.
He tells her to "look up"! And similar to the cheesy slide show that Peter had for Amina, Joe has a video on the side of  a building for Tahiry. With different people holding cards with words that explain what a relationship is supposed to be. Including words like, a relationship is supposed to be, an Elmo chain smoking pretty good rapper, and a booty model annoying the world for 4 seasons then getting the boot on the 5th!

Allow me to dream!

The hidden gem, or Easter egg in this scene is. When Joe appears on the video holding up a sign which reads, "I HAVE A QUESTION...", there's a billboard to the left sideof the screen, and it's an advertisement for the Lion King! Get it? Because Joe is full of shit! HA HA!

Anyway, he pops up on Tahiry like he always does, looking happier than a Sesame Street character. But the Cigarette Monster was cut off by editing. So we'll find out next week how Tagary, I mean Tahiry, said no to a marrying a gay man! Yep! I smell a beard shaving coming!

 We only have 2 more episodes before the reunion. So let me know below whether or not I should review it! I will be back for episode 11, which is titled "put a ring on it" and episode 12 which is titled, "all good things".


See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on facebook, twitter, goggle plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Love is a Battlefield | recap | review | opinion

Love and Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Love is a Battlefield | recap | review | opinion

The episode begins at Barnyard and Carriage house in Totawa New Jersey with Amina Buddafly having a chat with her friend Nicole. Both ladies are looking extra lovely might I add!

Anyway, Amina is telling Nicole all about the mess that happened the last episode in the studio. Come to find out, Amina threw her wedding ring away! Why? Because she was pissed off and so drunk that she peed a little! In her pants! So, freeloader Nicole was like, "bitch, you could have given that shit to me!"

Then Amina tells her to chill the out! Calm de fuck down, and let her finish!

She then let Nicole know  that even though the dick is fantastic, she really needs to leave this bum! And implies that she needs a new manager as well! So Nicole might be managing her soon! Who knows! l have to stay tuned to find out.


The best part of this scene is Amina is having an overbite orgasm! I mean, her mouth is contracting big time as she talks! A lot of people make fun of her for her overbite. But I wont! She has a long head, a long neck and an overbite, that's deep throat city! And chicks who have over bites just had more practice sucking.
So don't hate!



In our next scene we visit Ripley -Grier Studio in Hells Kitchen New York City!
And Tahiry, and her 2 sisters, Lexie and Genie in a bottle, are whoring it up big time at a dance class, centered around shaking their asses. Seems like whenever women get together, something whorish has to go down for it to be considered, "fun".

Come to find out, Tahiry and Lexie sent their broke daddy some money finally. Lord knows that sleeping in a box with Peter was getting to him! It's January 2014, and that polar vortex has taken over 20 lives already! Thanks girls!

Anyway! Tahiry is crying to her sisters about Joe Budden and how she needs to stay away from him, but his "circles" game is just too tight! And then she starts talking dumb fast and I couldn't understand her. She was talking like a Hispanic Hurricane. We all know how they talk! They need to cut that out! Goya O'boya!
I mean, she should either do auctions, or at least offer her fast mouth to Erica Mena.

Anyway, she claims that she's done with Joe Budden, and her sisters know that she is full of more shit that Peter's toes!  In fact, some guy in a black suit from the NSA who was spying on them came by and told her to stop talking about Budden! Yup! Even the Government is tired of hearing about him!

My favorite parts of this scene were #1 the facial expressions that everyone was making, and of course that fine ass Genie, with her pretty hair, pretty face and delicious body! My least favorite part was Lexies fucked up hair do! She had the nerve to sit her big ass up there looking like a Puerto Rican pineapple! I almost changed the channel! Lord Jesus!

In the next scene, it's time to catch up with the Captain of the creeps! Peter Gunz! He is having a chat with Tara at the Gorilla Cafe in Brooklyn. Come to find out, to no ones surprise, she changed the locks on Peter! The worst news is that she has been keeping him away from his children and the pussy, as a temporary punishment!

And the fans call her the classy one?

Peter lets her know that if he has to, he can just climb in a window, or  down the chimney! She looked at Peter and said, "nigga you're not Santa Clause! Fuck you and your elf looking wife!"

Nah, she didn't say that shit! The show would actually be entertaining if she did! But seriously, if Peter keeps creeping around in peoples houses, one of these days he will be mistaken for a burglar! He'll go from Peter Gunz, to Peter gunned down!

Anyway! Tara lets Peter know that she needs to move.
 Instead of keeping it 100 real and factual, she makes it seem as if the relationship problems that are going on with them is why she is moving.

In reality,  she's tired of her slum Lord, and sick of coming home from her job to find that Peter and the boys don made a new snow man out of dirt in the living room! She's ready to go !

She's gonna take the money that she's making from the show, and get a bigger shoe to live in! She tired of living in that dirty little hole, in sin. If she wanted to spend the rest of her life in a dirty little hole in sin, she'd die and reincarnate as the Popes penis! (Now that one was hard to get out! Pun intended)

Anyway, Peter is so desperate to not separate from Tara, probably because she'd destroy him if he had to pay child support for those two kids. He's so desperate to keep Tara around that he committed the ultimate sin in his world. He snitched on himself! He flat out told Tara that yes, he is trying to have his cake and eat it too! Yes! He's that desperate, that he actually told her that he is trying to keep  both Amina and Tara in his life!

And we all know that sooner or sooner, she'll be sucking and fucking with Peter again in no time! This little "break" wont last longer than a Kardashian marriage. Guaranteed!

In the next scene We visit, Shelter Studios in Midtown New York City. Tara is enjoying her birthday present from Yandy! A chance to audition for Yandy's movie. And in the audition, she is pretending to be a drunk woman on a couch with a man, and the couple are about to fuck! Now where did I see this before? Oh yeah! Tara and Peter, in the scene were he talked her into letting him give her the "circles". Pretty much the same scenario!

In this scene, Tara is showing us how much of a bad actress that she is. The only thing flatter than her acting is her ass! And them little flap jack titties almost popped out of shirt when she fell unto the floor with the male actor she auditioned with! Too bad that taking all of those pills left her with no eggs to go with them pancake titties, and syrup discharge oozing from her sizzling snatch!
Whose hungry?


In our next scene, we visit the Engine Room (studio) in the Financial District of New York City!

Erica Mena and Cyn Santana sit down to hear this terrible song. I mean, an abortion to my ears! That Erica is gonna make a fool of herself with. And Cyn is pretending to like it because if she admits that it's garbage, Erica will stop smothering her cho cha with Chipotle! I love how when Cyn is listening to the track, she is moving her foot on the floor. Trying to make it look like she is getting into that wack ass beat! She is on her toe and turning her fat foot back and forth!  In reality, she was just putting out a cigarette!

So, Erica finally admits to kissing Rich and Cyn goes crazy! She tells Erica that she just has to laugh about it because if she doesn't, she'll explode! And cleaning up beans and rice on TV would make them stereotypical Latina maids! And she doesn't do stereotypes!

Smart girl Cyn!

I love how she claims to just have to laugh about it, and she isn't even laughing. She reminds me of when you converse with an idiot who spends too much time on the internet. And in the middle of a conversation, instead of laughing, they say, "lol"! Yeah, crazy world we live in!

So, Erica lies to Cyn and claims that she is over Rich! Cyn may be young, but she surely isn't dumb! She knows that Erica is crazy ass big mouthed liar.

So, with perfect timing. In the middle of their conversation. Rich pops up wearing his sunglasses at night. And he tells Cyn that he merely leant Erica to Cyn!W ow! He really does believe he owns her! Rich has no remorse for kissing Cyn's girlfriend. And is not concerned with her feelings what so ever!  This drove Cyn crazy! Cyn and Rich argued like two insane people, over that bag of shit named Erica Mena!

And Erica let Rich know flat out that he doesn't fight for her the way that Cyn does!

Which is funny to me, because relationships and life in general is not about fighting. It's about working harmoniously with people. Hopefully someday Erica will learn that. But I doubt it! She'll probably be some old crazy bitch in a padded room fighting herself. Or a hoarder burred in cats and bootlegged designer bags!
In debt for for her serial plastic surgeries and drug addiction! Hopefully Erica will pick Meth as a drug of choice! Then we'll see what she looks like in the inside!

The best part of this scene was Erica Mena's  vein covered map looking forehead! Erica's forehead has more lines than Black Friday! How are you gonna scrunch your face up like that? Looking like a leaf! Old Klingon forehead having bitch! Looking like whoref, yes! The whore version of Worf! From Star Trek! I've heard people say that she looks like Cyn, but nah, she looks like a Deep Space Dominican Klingon! Nasty nympho! She should just do porn and get it over with. Hell, Tila Tequila just got backdoored and swallowed! So, take a hint Erica, now is the time to use your true life skills.


Now were off to pay a visit  Saigon's Barbie sized Apartment at Nanuet New York. So, Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hike, as in Hike a bag across a parking lot aka Saigon, comes up with his dumbest Idea yet! He wants Erica Jean and the baby to move in with him! And Erica is so scared to say, "no" that she just clinches her teeth. All 2 of them!

Erica Jean is so scared of Saigon, that she looks like a hostage! She knows that she is in the presence of pocket sized psychopath, and she doesn't have her tazer!
Or her a fly swatter!

So, Saigon starts speaking in jail jargon, and says he wants to co habitat with Erica. Not co habit but co habitat! Nearly a decade in jail, with nothing to do but read and and workout, this little asshole must have been lifting the books and reading the weights!

Anyway, while Erica can understand the importance of a child growing up in a traditional household with both parents. She feels that her and Saigon's silly idea of purposely becoming pregnant with a stranger was down right retarded.

While a normal  man would sweeten the pot so to speak by giving a woman a gift or sweet talking her into saying yes. Saigon, a 7 year Prison veteran had an "ingenious" speech to get Erica to come live with him! You see, Saigon was known as the yardfather in jai. As in the prison yard! Yes Saigon was quite the rumbler in jail. And has the nickname to prove it!

So Saigon tells Erica that is so many words, he is the best thing that she will ever have the chance to date! You see, during his 7 year bid, Saigon read every romance novel that he could get his little hands on! And he told Erica, "look bitch, the man of your dreams is the one who will knock you the fuck out! Understand me bitch?" You understand me!

Goodness! This scene was uncomfortable to watch! She looked like a hostage! I hope for her sake she doesn't talk to this guy without a witness being there!

Anyway, before she can say yes to moving in with Saigon, he will have to at least meet her father first. And Erica is scared because when he meant her mother he tried to show off his midget tricks that he learned in Circ De Soulless! For the people who visit the VH1 website and watch the deleted scenes from the show, I know that you remember this one! Remember when Erica, her mother and the baby meant up with Saigon at Central Park, and he tried to do a cartwheel, and his little ass arms got tangled up in his shirt? And they had to cut a hole for him to breath?

Erica is scared that Saigon my try another stupid dwarf disaster, such as felling to his death by walking off of a sidewalk. Or drowning by taking an unattended bath!



Now we are Back at the Engine Room (studio) in the Financial District of New York City.

K. Michelle is in the studio, minding her own business and talking to herself.
And Peter walks up in there. Now, why would Peter come to the studio to bother K. Michelle? Because the show is fake! I mean, he wanted some advice!
And K Michelle tells him that in so many words. If Peter keeps trying to have his cake, and give in the circles too! I mean eat it too! These women will leave him for new penis!So he better commit himself to one hole, or he'll be homeless for the rest of eternity!

In the next scene, we visit Cantina Corsino Italiana in West Village New York City.

Tahiry walks in to go have lunch with Joe Budden

Come to find out, Joe has been masturbating a lot and is staying away from women. He is letting himself be gay and Mary! And when I say Mary, I don't mean, "merry" as in happy. I mean Mary as in his drag alter ego!

Tahiry with her humungous head found out that production has no need for her unless she is in a scene with Joe. So, in order for her to have airtime, get a check, and keep from Budden replacing her with a much better looking woman, she better be nice to him. After all, trashy reality tv. style shows starring rappers was invented by internet addict, and down low brother Joe Budden! Google it!
In other words, Joe is in charge. He probably signs Mona Scott's checks on the downlow!

Anyway, Tahiry admits to Joe that she in fact does love him. And no one is surprised by this news! I am however surprised by these two losers still being on this show! I am tired of that suspect Joe Budden, and that bloated, big headed squid faced heffer, Tahiry Jose! These two annoying people, right along with that crazy psychopath, Saigon, need to say their bygones! Jesus!


In the next scene. we visit Eventi in Chelsea New York City.
Amina  Buddafly is meeting up with that sorry sack of shit, Peter Gunz!
And she lets him know that she's  not trying to up her body count. She is through with adding new dicks to her long list partners in her sketchy, bed hopping past. She's ready to settle down with just him. So she let him know that he needs a place to stay like she needs dick. So he's better of just coming back home, and blowing her back out like a suicide bomber. And right before she can give him head under the table. He whips out the oldest cell phone that I've seen in a long time! That thing looked like a walkie talkie!

Anyway! So, he calls up some mystery man, and has him cue a a scrolling, windows slide show of different images. Which include the words "I love you Mr.s Pankey". As well as but not limited to. Pictures of their rings. Yeah, the one he didn't want to wear, and the one that she threw in the sewer! And get this, they even showed pictures from their sex tape! HOT DAMN!

Anyway, of course they are back together now. Or as Peter always tells Amina off camera. Dick, or Deported? Which one do you want bitch? Insemination or immigration? The choice is yours!


In our next scene, Erica Mena is meeting up with  a JEW, I mean her Jeweler! Who gives me the alcoholic vibe. And she is purchasing some big "ghetto", 18 Karat, white gold earrings in an attempt to buy Cynthia's soul back.

Now, not only does Cynthia kind of look like Erica. But her jewelers name is Eric! I mean how much can a bitch love herself? Speaking of love, she claims that she loves Cyn! LOL! Wow, you love yourself Erica, and you love what some people do for you. You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself!

Anyway,  when Cyn arrives, she sits down and opens up a small jewelry box, saw that their wasn't any food in it. Closed the box, and got her stuffed animal looking, fat ass up and headed towards the door!
She told Erica that she'd contact her. After a rebound fuck spree with as many people as she can! Then she stormed out of the room and ran for the boarder! I can't be the only one that thought, hey, she probably pawned them earrings and bought food with the money! I refuse to believe that I am the only one who thought that!


Now were in Edge Water New Jersey with Joe Budden, his father and Joe's big ugly dog. And Joe lets daddy Budden know that he is ready to foolishly propose to Tahiry. A booty model in her 30's that doesn't work out, looks sloppy already, that's about to look like somebodies Mexican's mothers in 3 to 5 years!  Bitch is shaped like a scoop of poop!

So, Joe's father told him that, his plans to marry Tahiry are cool and all. But the last time Joe visited his fathers house, he had 3 women in the mans living room! And I can assure you that this was Joe's drag team! Make up, hair and wardrobe. *snaps*

Anyway, my favorite lesbian Joe Budden says that he knows that Tahiry is the woman for him and he is the woman for her! And while Joe thinks that their is a possibility that Tahiry may say no, his father told him she will say yes for sure! Because the word on the street is, the Budden's like to beat their bitches! Even while they're pregnant. Just ask Joe.


In our final scene. We visit, Ripley-Grier Studios in Hells Kitchen New York City.


Erica Mena is dancing what some smoking hot choreographer chick! I mean she's up there with Erica! Slim, fit and can move too! Anyway, Erica is making an oddly shaped ass of herself by traying to dance and sing. And she's about to go from dancing all over the world, to making a fool of herself all over the world.

And to make it worst, she's doing this while wearing a sweat shirt that says, "Let Me Be Great" with a crown embroidered on it. I guess she thinks that she's the queen of auto tune! But this song needs a whole lot more than studio processing. It needs NASA. There's no way in hell this song will benefit anyone! Wait, actually she will be a tax write off. Just like her last flop song.

You may be wondering why I'm judging her music so harshly and that's because, in this scene I can hear Erica's new song loud and clear! And the lyrics sound like they were written by whoever wrote Friday for Rebecca Black! I honestly believe that this is the worst song writing I have ever heard. And I'm a song writer! And I'm deeply offended!

Anyway, Erica is shaking her funny looking ass around and making a fool of herself when Rich walks in. He is pissed because she set up this little dance class without his permission. And he has to pay for it! So, he is there to put her in her place! Her standpoint is that she didn't want to look like fool by not being able to dance or sing. So she wanted to at least get the dancing part down. And Rich feels that she is doing business behind his back, and he is about cry like Drake about it!

So they sit down to talk. And Erica lets him know that him yelling at Cynthia the way he did was unacceptable. And Rich lets her know that Cynthia is not important to him. She's irrelevant, doesn't matter at all. And Erica has foolishly signed a contract with Rich now, he's taken songs from, her before so. She better play her cards right, or she'll be begging for change with Peter. Mr. circles and Mr.s fake lesbian, holding matching signs which read, "will eat pussy for money!"

Anyway, after some intense yelling back and forth, and more finger pointing that Ellen's honeymoon. Rich lets Erica know that he's married to his money and that Erica is just the mistress. So she better stay in her place! Erica at this point is probably pretty pissed that she signed the contract with Rich Dollaz. Should have gone with your gut instinct Erica. You knew what Riches intentions were, and now he's gonna have his cake and eat you too. Besides, what can you do? Kick him in the neck? Like you did your babies daddy? (Loreal Laugh!)

Anyway, that was pretty much it for this week.


See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on facebook, twitter, goggle plus, myspace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazine2/videos

Love and Hip Hop New York | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Girls with Gunz | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love and Hip Hop New York | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Girls with Gunz | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

The show starts out at Fashion Week in Chelsea NYC with Tahiry and Joe Budden. Tahiry is minding her own business, having pictures taken by photographers who thought that she was someone important. When out of no where, Joe Budden pops up like Freddy Kruger! Joe is being ultra thirsty right now! He's sucking up to Tahiry's hanging ass trying to get back into her back into his good graces! And all she is giving Joe for all of that ass kissing is farts!

But forget all of that! I'm just trying to figure out why Joe is dressed like a gay man's couch from the 80's! Last year it was his infamous vest collection and he's continuing the tacky clothing choices tradition. Anyway!

Pretty much,  according to Tahiry, the worlds most annoying couple is over because she is through with being Joe's  cum bucket. And of course, that's bull shit! Tahiry will be back with Joe Budden pretending to leave him long after they're living in a nursing home. Driving the staff crazy!

One of my favorite parts of this scene is the extremely suspect facial expressions and laugh from Joe Budden. Sister Budden was selling himself hard to Tahiry. She must have been a good make up person for Joe when he dresses up as "Joann!" *snaps*

Seriously, If that man doesn't have enough sugar in his tank to win cake wars!

Anyway, My other favorite part of this scene is the tacky outfits that the run way models are wearing! Or should I say, run a way models! Run away from those dicks on their heads! I can't be the only one to noticed the vibrators that they were wearing at the end of the show! Yandy should have been there!



In the next scene, we visit Central Park in New York City!
Amina Buddafly is having a pick dick! I mean picnic with her sister Sophie! She flew her self in all the way from Germany to see her crazy, sexy and cool sister.

They are discussing Amina's mess of a life. And get this. Sophie implies that Amina is a home wrecker! She told her that she tends to find herself in messy, disgusting and dysfunctional relationships.

Amina is still completely delusional to Peter's infidelity! She let's Sophie know that she still thinks that Peter goes over to Tara's house, and stays overnight for his sons and not for the circles! Well, I guess she is still in denial for now.



In the next scene we are a at a photo shoot with the fake lesbians at Johne Ricard Studio in Midtown, Jew York City! I mean, New York City!

This photo shoot must be for a Mexican Maternity line because these two Latina's look pregnant! Cyn looks 2 months and Erica looks 3 and a half! But forget all of that!

Erica hid a necklace in her bathing suit for sin to dig out! She must have a magnet in her implants, because it stayed up there on her fake chest and thankfully it didn't travel down to that portal puss between her wrinkly legs! Anyway, The funny thing about it, is that Cyn held it up to Erica's chest and said, "it's the same chain that you have".

Wow! So, Erica hit up a buy one, get one free sale. And put the other chain to the side. And when she couldn't sell that cheap mess at a tag sale, she decided to throw it at the Chipotle Chipmunk to get her way.  At least that's how I see it!

 She gave her this latest gift, because she needed to butter up the slightly sloppy Cyn Santana because she had bad news!

The bad news is that she in fact signed the contract with Rich Dollaz! Cyn was of course pretty pissed off by this news! She was so pissed, she whipped her dick out! And let that silly Erica Mena know that she better stop that thirsty Rich when he tries to mix pleasure with business. Because, she knows that he will!

Yeah, like I said before! Cyn gives me the psycho vibe. Protect your neck Erica!
If you look at Cyn's eyes, and listen to her voice. she's a nut case! She'll be on snapped blaming the murder she committed on her split personality!


In our next scene we visit Covo Trattoria Pizzeria in Harlem, New York City.

Tara is meeting up with K. Michelle. Why you ask? Well, Tara wants some relationships advice from K. Michelle of all people. And I'm left thinking, that receiving relationship advice from K. Michelle is like asking a rapist for tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom.

Anyway, K. Michelle told Tara that her situation is "messy". And that as far as Tara staying with Peter for 13 years goes. She doesn't stay with people for 13 days! And that's includes pregnancies! Something Tara can relate to!

Now, why in the world would you consult a woman who lives in a haunted house, has no man, ditches relationships before her 2 week anniversary and refers to her vagina as a woo ha! We may never know!

In reality, Tara just wanted an excuse to go out and show off that new fake, phoney tail that she's wearing in this scene.

But why the hell is K Michelle sitting up there with that fake red hair and that animal print on? Looking like a Cheetah on it's period! I mean come one Kimberly! Anyway, K. Michelle tells Tara that she needs to talk with Amina and Peter! But she tells her to dress prepared to fight, with Timberland boots, Vaseline on her face. A gun in a holster, a freshly sharpened knife, a harpoon, a spear, a blow gun, some matches. A lantern, sand and salt mixture to throw into her eyes! 6 ninja stars, hollow point bullets, a syringe full of AIDS, a metal detector, a shovel, a cross bow and, don't forget to put her hair up! Okay maybe not all of that list!

Thanks Kimberly for giving a single mother street fighting advice! You must have made the hood rat Honor role. You must be the first in your family to get 4 point G.P HOE in bad advice! You fucking Ghetto Gagger Graduate! I just, I mean seriously. Why is she on the New York version again?


So, now we are at Daddy's House Studios in Midtown New York City.

With Rich Dollaz and Wyclef Jean of the Fugees! He's the one who stole that money from Haiti! Anyway, Rich lets Wyclef know that he'll suck em till his sack collapses, if he waits and says hi to Erica Mena when she shows up!

And right before Wyclef can turn to Rich, cuss him out, and smack him for offering his throat. Erica the weasel pops up. Wyclef plays it cool, air kisses with Erica, and runs out holding his ass!

Erica sits her loose booty down. And Rich turns on a flop record! Not a pop record, but flop record. Erica Mena's newest failure song, and these two believe that its a guaranteed hit! Yes! A hit record, they just forgot the "S" because it's a shit record!

I think that Erica Mena and Rich Dollaz are right! They think that this song, Dancing All Over the World, is about to be a big hit! Yeah, it will be a big hit, in recycling bins everywhere! That shit better be biodegradable!

So, Rich gives Erica the news that he dumped Peter for her! Then Rich tells his flop star girl friend to come sit on his lap, like he's Santa Claus or some shit! So, she sits down, and he looks her in the eyes and says, "Ho Ho Ho!" Then pulls her top down! Nah I'm shitting you! She sits on his lap, and they begin kissing! Too bad psycho Cyn didn't walk in!

She would've stomped Rich Dollaz flatter than her EBT card! Excuse me! her W.I.C. card. Women Infants and Chipotle!

Rich is so disrespectful and thinks so little of Cyn. That he claims ownership to Erica, says that she'll always be his sex slave, then processed to motor boat her! Yes! He stuck his waffle colored face into Erica's fake, funky press on breasts!
Now that's a brave man. I'd be scared to lose my face in there!


Moving along! Now, Amina and Peter are at Platinum Sound Studios, in Midtown New York City! They're lisitng to a terrible song titled "The Pankey's". And I'm watching this shit, thinking to myself that The Pankey's sounds like a gang that Camron would have been in 10 years ago!

But this shit wasn't a throw back record. It's a throw out record! At what point of making The Pankeys did these fools think that this sounded even remotely good?
The crazy thing about it is, Peter was the man in the 90's! He sold over a million copies on his first single, was nominated for a Grammy, ghost wrote music for Shaq and even did a song with Mariah Carey! And now he's sleeping on couches. Washing peoples car windows at red lights. Scratching for crack, and slinging dick for a place stay!

Anyways, Tara pops up,  and let's Amina know, that she has in fact been sleeping with Peter. And in her words, she sits on it whenever she wants! And when she told him to come eat her corn and make her butter melt! I mean, eat her pussy and make her cum, he definitely did so!

And she even told Amina that Peter's head game is on point! How on point you ask? She told Amina, that Peter can suck a beach ball, through a coffee straw! I don't know what that means, but it drove Amina crazy!


My boo Amina starts crying and carrying on! And her crying voice scared the hell out of me! She sounded like an ape giving birth! I mean, the sound that she was making was high pitched and disturbing! One part of me said, "damn, if I was there, I'd hold her so tight! Amina is such a nice girl and she doesn't deserve this treatment from anyone!". And the other part of me said, "somebody tell this bitch to shut the fuck up!"

Peter attempts to sweep the infidelity under the rug by stating that "Tara is going through a lot"!  I guess that's the best excuse that he could come up with!

The best part of the scene though, is that Tara is making sure that we all know that she just doesn't care at all what so ever about Amina's feelings. And I'm thinking, does Tara not realize, or not care that her sons have to go to school and have them bad kids picking at them about their mother slapping people, committing adultery, and letting homeless men go raw and skeet inside of her? On T.V.!

They'll never live this down! 

And the funny thing about it all. Is that just a few weeks ago, Tara was cutting Peters stuff up with a pair of scissors. Holding the open scissors by the blade! Now she is acting so high and mighty. Don't worry Tara, AKA idiot #1, your trashy ass will be crying on TV. again in no time. So have fun laughing at my sweet little Butterfly for now!

Amina is highly upset and she claims to want to leave Peter over his infidelity!
And when I say leave, I mean out of the room for less than a minute! Amina leaves out of the room. And then, ends up coming right back! After she put some Visine in her eyes, to make it stream down her face so that she'd have some fake tears! No, I'm, kidding! She was crying for real!

Amina is such a nice lady, that she asks Tara to let her talk to her husband. She could have told Tara to get out of the room considering she just admitted to sitting on his mouth! But Amina is too nice for all of that. And as polite as she was to Tara, Tara says sure. Then picks up her pocket book and as she is walking out of the door she says, "maybe someday I'll stop fucking your husband!"

Now, what kind if mother of two young boys, who is a professional in the work place says stuff like that? It's not like Amina is some foul bitch or anything. She is a super nice person. I'm talking Kindergarten teacher nice! I'm talking willing to breast feed a strangers baby nice! I'm talking so nice that she'd give a homeless man a hand job just to make his day better, and lick her fingers clean nice! Okay, maybe not that nice!


Anyway. after some yelling back and forth, and Peter trying to psychology screw with Amina's brain as usual. She leaves in a huff! Such a huff, that she hits herself in the back with the door! I am very concerned with Amina's saftey and well being! No, not because of doors attacking her! Because of her sweating issue! Remember that other episode where she was wearing that grey dress, and her arm pits and back were soaked with stinky sweat? Well in this scene her arm pits were so wet, she must smell like an African cab driver! Wait, she is half African!



Moving along, now were in the studio with the oldest and flattest ass on the show! J Dinero!  And she's pretending to rap at Quad Recording Studio in Midtown NYC. I'm convinced that she's not a rapper, but a therapist that the show hired to consult Ms. clueless, formally know as Yandy Smith!
Because whenever we see her, the conversation seems to be less about music and more about dating drug dealers who are in locked up and never getting out!

So, Yandy shows up to this fake studio session to ask J. Dinero about what she thinks will happen with Mendecees, rhymes with feces! J Dinero lets Yandy know that Mendecees is never coming out! And if he did, he's suffer from TBS. Tunnel Butt Syndrome.

No but seriously, why the hell does this J Dinero trick have such a little forehead! I am offended by the miniscule size of her fucking forehead! It's not right! Proportions bitch! A normal forehead is like 30% of a face! NOT TEN!

She looks like if I pet her, her whole head would come off.
And then to make it even worse. Cat head, is covered with wrinkles.
Yes, a million wrinkles on that little ass head! Looking like a little note pad!
Eww, she gives me gas!

Anyway, J. Dinero let's Yandy know, that Mendecess being released is like Chris Bosh's sexuality, he'll never come out! So, she better invest in a really good dildo!


Now Erica Mena is visiting Rich Dollaz at his apartment. And Erica is still acting thirsty about Rich and dick in general! Erica tells Rich that she stopped by to say hello to his door man. Rich tells her that he wouldn't be surprised! LMAO! That's when you know, that you're a whore! Your ex boyfriend's all like, yeah, you wanna fuck the doorman too! LMAO! What a slut! Oh well, at least she's extra pretty!

So, Erica lets Rich know that he needs to stop playing games, and let her know whether or not he is going to take her back! She implies that she is just with Cyn Satana until Rich gives her all of his money! I mean heart!

Now, Rich would love to have a threesome, but J Dinero has more forehead than Rich has game! So, Erica lets him know in so many words, that if he steps up and gives her a title, such as girlfriend, she will break up with Cynthia! And get back with him. But Rich is playing hard to get for now.


Now we have to take a quick visit to Johns Pizzeria in Jersey City New Jersey.
Joe Budden's ex crack feen momma! Faye, Is celebrating 25 years of being clean from that crack! Yep! Joe Budden's momma, Faye, was sucking that glass dick! Yup! Joe Buddens mama used to be pookeisha!


I just wanna know why she has her hair in them braids! Her hair is breaking like the inside of Mendecess ass right now!

Anyway, Joe Budden pops up out of thin hair, I mean thin air! Looking like a gay soldier this time! He has on his tight little pink camouflaged hoodie. Honey! *snaps*  Yaaas! He looked like a man, at war, with his sexuality! Don't ask don't tell Budden!

Joe is like every girls gay friend who hasn't come out of the closet yet! It's like we all know about the pink elephant in the room. But Tahiry has been a loyal beard for years! And I have a feeling that Joe has that Detox dick! Never gonna come out! [DR. DRE VOICE] HELL NO!

Anyway, Joe and his mother got down on their knees and kissed Tahiry's big sloppy, hanging ass and tried to get her to come back to Sammy Suspect, I mean Joe Budden! The man the rap world has been calling gay since 2003! Don't ask what his one hit song, "Pump It Up" was really about! Anyway, just like Rich with Erica, Tahiry is playing hard to get for now. But we know that wont last long!

So, now were at Mellisme in Flatoiron NYC Yandy, K. Michelle and Tara are celebrating Tara's birthday! She's about 36 years old on paper, with a 56 year old turkey neck.

And this scene looks like it should be a show on B.E.T.! A show titled, "white women here I cum!" Now before you crazy black women attack me, let me explain why I say this! We have Yandy here, who has a man in jail getting the innards of his ass beat like pancake batter.

K. Michelle who is a violent, fake red headed, pseudo psychologist who can't keep her hands nor her flowers to herself. Yet can tell everyone else what they need to do with their lives! And then we have Tara! A nearly 40 year old harlot, addicted to adultery, pill popping, and a scissor stabbing psychopath to boot!
So yeah, I'm gonna marry an Asian women!

Tara is bragging to the girls about how she has been committing adultery with Peter. And even K. Michelle with her old busted baseball glove looking pussy having self is disgusted!

K Michelle made Tara swear on crackers, cheese, grape koolaid and her plan b pill stock pile that she was done sleeping with Peter. And Tara replied by saying, "yeah bitch, sure, whateva!" We all know that the only time that Tara closes her legs around Peter is when she wraps them around his neck! Or his waist!

Anyway! Come to find out, Yandy Smith is in pre production for a film. And she wants Tara to come and audition for a part in the movie! And if the role is a struggling no name actress, that no one cares about, that's almost 40 years old, an adulterer, emergency contraceptive addict, with a filthy ex boyfriend of 13 wasted years, that climbs through her window, like Bruh Man from the 5th flo (floor) that sleeps on her couch then yeah! She'll be perfect for the movie!

In our next scene, Erica goes to Phillipe Chow in Midtown New York City. AlBee, Erica's completely straight friend is there to give her some much needed advice. Wait a minute! Did I say that AlBee is straight? I meant to say flaming! I'm talking on fire like a faulty wire. I mean, he's so gay he makes himself feel uncomfortable.

Erica is crying to this gay dude extra hard. And the vein in her head almost ejaculates everywhere! Seriously! Her forehead was about to skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet mother fucker! This crazy woman has been crying a lot lately. She just can't do right. She's just a fuck up! Pick a bridge Erica! You know you want to.

Long story short, he told this idiot that she is doing stupid stuff to put her self in a shaky situation. And Cyn might end up on Snapped after offing Erica and Rich!
I totally agree AlBee! She sure is an idiot!


In our final scene, we are at Bikram Yoga New York City, on the Upper Westside of New York City! Peter the pussy eater is standing out there in the cold, holding flowers. And Amina Buddafly pops up! Ready to go do some Yoga!

Peter once again attempts to manipulate the mind of my sweet little Amina. And she let him know that she isn't having that. And  that she wants him to wear his cheap ring, stay away from Tara and and let her eat, I mean meet the children! And you know what they say, a Vampire can never enter your home unless you invite them in! And Tara's rules were, no vampires in her house or around her children! So, unless Tara changes her mind, that may never happen.

The best part of this scene is Amina's boobs in that little green shirt! I had to point that out! Anyway, Amina, if you're gonna be with a bum who sleeps on couches, divorce Peter and marry me! I don't cheat and, I rub feet!

Well, that was pretty much it for this episode! If I offended you, then good! I'm usually more offensive. I'll try harder next time!

See you soon for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on facebook, twitter, goggle plus, myspace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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