Hey Blood Sweat and Heels fans! Remember in October of 2014 when Geneva Thomas allegedly hit co star Melyssa Ford over the head with a bottle?
According to a TMZ article, Melyssa Ford may have falsely accused and defamed Geneva by claiming she hit her over the head with a bottle! Sending the beautiful actress and model to the hospital, leaving her with 3 staples in her head, her gorgeous face covered with blood and she cut her feet on the glass to boot!
Geneva Thomas was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon according to the article. However, she claims she is innocent and she wants Melyssa to cough up $25 Million!
Let me know what you think about it all below!
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https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazine2/videos
According to TMZ, Blood Sweat and Heels Star, Geneva Thomas
has to keep herself out of trouble for 6 months and her little incident from September 2014 were she hopped out of a cab and screwed her driver out of an $18 fair will be forgiven
So, Snuffleupagus just has to not hit people in the head with bottles again until July, 2015 when the deal is done!
Oh? That doesn't ring a bell to you? Not long after she jumped out of her cab without paying, she bashed the beautiful model Melyssa Ford over her beautiful head with a bottle! The action was caught on camera and uploaded to the internet. I wonder whether or not they'll show it on Blood Sweat and Heels Season 2 on Bravo.
All I know is. They need to stop teasing her about looking like Wesley Snipes, and start teasing her about fighting like him and dodging cab fares like Wesley evades taxes!
According to TMZ, Blood Sweat and Heels star, Geneva Thomas, is in big trouble!
The drama started on Tuesday September 9, 2014, when the Wesley Snipes look alike was arrested after she took a cab ride to an undisclosed location in New York City.
According to the cab driver, she got out and didn't pay her $18 fare. The driver sent the police to the location he dropped her off at. And she was arrested and charged with theft. She claims that she is innocent, and plans to sue the New York Police Department as well as the Taxi company! Sheesh! She has a court date scheduled for January 2015!
Now, I know that her Blood Sweat and Heels co star, Mica Hughes said that Geneva looks like Wesley Snipes in the drag queen movie, "To Wong Foo". But in my opinion, she looks like Snuffaluffagus from Sesame Street! And who doesn't love Snuffy?
Anyway. I don't know whether or not she really took a ride and ran. But at the end of the day, this is why I'm marrying a Japanese woman! When do you see one of my Japanese babies being involved with foolishness like this?
Anyway!
Let me know what you think about it all below and be sure to subscribe to the MEET Magazine YouTube channel for more!
Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 9 | FINALE | Heels on the Hudson | Review | Recap | Opinion
After some clips from earlier episodes in the series. The episode starts out at
with Mica and a very fat woman, Her miracle worker, I mean, make up artist, Patrece. The two are meeting up with Mica's slutty models!
The Skeletons are doing a photo shoot. And the first one is Courtney! A white woman so flat chested that she tries to be funny and cover her little nuggets. One hand on each boobie! All she needed was a rubber band!
She can wear an eye patch as a bra! She said that she once went to the store and they handed her an A cup and she said, "actually I wear an A spoon! Skank you very much"
I mean, if Melyssa's cup runnith' over in her brassier and she has a gulp of breast, Courtney has a sip of titty!
I mean her breasts are so small, when she went to get a mammogram, the Dr. checked for an Adam's Apple! She's so skinny, when she rubs her hands together, it sounds like bubble wrap popping! She's so skinny, when she goes to the beach they say forget skinny dipping. Let's go Courtney dipping!
Nah, I'm just joking! The fat bitches who watch my YouTube videos wish they looked like Courtney! HA HA!
In our next scene Melyssa is showing Lance, a potential client a nice apartment! And she is looking quite bootylicious in a tight white dress!
The rent for the place is $27,000 and her commission works like this. $27,000 Multiplied by 12 months, for a 1 year contract equals, $324,000, divided by 15% equals $48,600 dollars!
Man! I wish I would have gotten into Real Estate years ago! Oh well! Melyssa would be a great teacher! I guess I'll have to ass, I mean ask her! For some lessons or something!
Anyway! Melyssa is working on commissions only. And the client appears to be more concerned with her tight white dress and big sexy biracial booty than the apartment!
He ends up leaving empty handed. Well, except for his parting gift! Some hair in a can! After a quick Masonic hand shake. Captain comb over leaves and goes home to masturbate and think about what he just saw!
Now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem when her gay boyfriend walks in.
And we're at Daisy's and Geneva's houses too. We're jumping back and forth between the places. And the ladies are reading their invitations to the boat party
Mica said that she used to running from her problems. And being on a boat with them is gonna be odd because, her skinny ass can't swim that damn good! Terry is very supportive of her! He told her that as skinny as she is, she'll be fine! Pirates love skulls and bones!
Now we're with Demetria and she's doing a photo shoot for her second book. Which is titled. "Don't Waste Your Pretty". Judging by her looks, she needs to take her own advice!
Anyway, she's getting her fat face painted on. She claims that she hasn't eaten solid food in a long time. Well except dry coffee! And she's been drinking hot water! So pretty much, this hot head is a human peculator! I'd think will all of that caffeine, this low energy slug be bouncing off of the walls like Daisy! But caffeine apparently has not effect on her! I blame the fat!
Speaking of fat. Her humungous friend that always has to out do her was like, "Coffee? Girl, I onced starved my self by going for weeks on sneezy!" Then the skinny one was like, "girl I'm a breatharian. I don't eat at all!"
They edited out her dead home girl, the skeleton. She rolled out with sign on her rip cage, and her hands over her mouth and the sign said "top this bitches! I'm dead!"
Fucking show off!
So, when Demetria started writing she sacrificed a lot of things, relationships, work outs, and even cats!
But, Anyway! Demetria loves the photos, she just want to Photoshop out her fat! Which is so much easier than proper diet and exercise! What an extremest! She eats like a pig and doesn't work out. Then punishes herself by eating nothing but coffee and sperm!
What a fucking lunatic!
Now we're at Flywheel, and Brie is working out! I knew her fit and petite self had to work out!
So Geneva and Daisy come are their too.
they're doing this for charity. Called, "Half in 10". Or some crap like that! You see, poverty levels are at 22 percent for people who are under the age of 18, and they are going to bring those levels down to 11 percent in 10 years! By riding Bicycles in a fitness class!
Yeah! Don't ask me how it works. Because I don't know!
So, Geneva AKA Snuffleupagus, doesn't want to meet up with the girls on the boat trip because she doesn't like Mica.
And Daisy said that Geneva acts like a nasty attitude having middle aged
black woman, who lost her husband, that wants to look at Daisy's butt!
And I began clapping! Yeah Daisy! There's plenty of women like that on the internet! It's always a Geneva who leaves a nasty comment on my YouTube videos!
The highlight of the scene is when Daisy confessed that she was using the bicycle seat to masturbate! She said that spinning is her sex, because she can feet it in her flower pot.
Hey Daisy, get it how you live! I love this crazy bitch!
So, now we're at Melyssa's Apartment in the Financial District of Jew York city!
And Melyssa's mom and aunt come through. And her white momma can barely sit down before she grabs a beer and starts calling Melyssa a whore.
I feel like I'm watching an Episode of 106 and Trailer Park, on M.E.T. Mixed Entertainment Television! And don't dare act like ya'll don't watch it too!
Their were only 2 good things about this scene. #1 The world now knows what I already knew. Which is that Melyassa Ford is the poster child for race mixing done right! Her momma and daddy have some couture Jean-etics! (genetics)
And #2
When her mom asked her if she is still failing miserably financially. The entre-prewhore in Melyssa makes her want to keep striving for independence. And when I say independence. I mean she is still waiting on her rich man! And well, I still didn't get this money just yet Melyssa but when I do!
Anyway, her mother told her that she needs to get a stable job and hurry and have kids before her eggs go rotten! She's turning 38 this year for God sakes!
Now we're at Demetria's Apartment with Demteria and Gregg!
Gregg is concerned with his girlfriend going on this boat trip. Black people have a tendency to get tied up on trips like these, and then they don't come back! But they always find work when they reach their destination! Anyway! He doesn't for her to get turned out in some lesbian orgy type situation. And does he want for her to get beaten up either!
In our next scene we visit Daisy's apartment.
And she is packing gifts with her two assistants, to give to the ladies son their boat trip!
I'm telling you, Daisy has the perfect name. She's one sweet chick! I just wish that she'd stop with the loud collars! The only thing louder than her wardrobe is her personality! I mean, a bright orange dress and that frigging pink lipstick? She must think that she's Barbie! But as black as she is with that pink lipstick, she looks more like Bar-B-cue!
Now we're in a cab with Melyssa and Demetria. Melyssa says to chill with calling Mica a drunk
because if she has to, Melyssa is gonna snatch that nappy mop on Demetria's head, and ring her brains through her nose holes!
And Mica and Terry are in their car. And Mica says that she just wants a simple apology from Demon-etria for pointing and saying, "Ha ha you're daddy died! You drunk!"
Now the ladies are arriving at the boat at Lincoln Harbor. Geneva can't even get on the boat good and she's speaking about white Jesus and how she wants to bring a Christian crusade of murder and torture, to this boat ride!
Geneva aka Cortez, just last week was screwing her friend, taking it up the butt and letting him piss all over big ass eyes. now she is Jesus in the flesh, last weak she had Jesus in her flesh! And when I say Jesus I mean, the PENIS!
Look, Popeye! You weren't thinking about reaching heaven when Wayne was crucifying your vagina. You weren't trying to reach heaven. just an orgasm! Who is this hypocrite kidding? The only congregating you do is at Churches Chicken!
I can see her now at the Church dinner. Eating out of the collections plate!
No! Better yet! I can see her on a diet now. Talking about, "it died!"
I mean Geneva's eating healthy would last as long as bottle of Visine around them big ass eyes!
On day one of her diet she'd be telling her friend. "Girl! I'm on that new Weight Watchers! Every morning I get on the scale and watch my weight go up!"
"But I'm tryna eat healthy! Just vegetables!" Then she'll be with her girlfriend at the buffet like. I'm just gonna have the Cesar salad! Then she sees her salad, gives up and goes back to meat!
Fat ass! Corn beef is not a vegetable! And 8 slices of Apple Pie is not a daily serving of fruit!
I can see her now! I bet at her funeral, they're gonna say stuff like. "Geneva the big eyed Diva was the type of Elephant to give you her shirt off her back. But she'd take her twinkles out the pocket first"
Geneva lets the women know about her and Wayne.
And Daisy says. "Yeah! That's why she was mad, this beached whale had sand in her bathing suit! And when I say sand, I mean Va-dry-na! Dry vagina!"
So the women get all dolled up and then they sit down to eat dinner.
And Daisy gives the ladies their gifts! And even gets a kiss in return from Brie!
NOTE TO SELF: Get Brie a gift to get a kiss! And when I say a "gift". I mean my dick in a box! With a bow on balls!
Anyway, as expected, the ladies love the gifts. In fact, this ac t of kindness made Demetria finally figure out that Daisy is a sweaty pie! Aww, she must have put an Afro pick in her box!
And a gift to Krispy Kreme!
So Mica starts being questioned about being a slutty, Tragic Mulatto.
And whether or not she is just an alcohol or if she is popping Molly's on the side too!
And Mica has excuses for everything! When it comes to the party that she violently flashed her vagina at. She said she was merely pulling her dress because she had gas! She needed to either fan it or melt in her own funk! And she decided to live!
And as for the time that she ran up in Bries house to rip Geneva's eyes out and make Spaghetti and eyes balls? Well, you see, what had happened was. They were on their way to dinner and Demetria said she was famished from only eating coffee so, Geneva's eyes were supposed to be an appetizer!
Well Mica. You're not rocking with the "white is right" crowd babe! Those excuses will get you no were!
However Mica does brings up a great point! And that's the fact that Demetria is a royal bitch!
She also feels like Demetria is being extremely judgmental. And before she can finish ripping Demon-eatia a new one.
Demetria pulls a Kanye West, snatches her Microphone and says that she thinks that Mica has split personalities! Then said, "Wu Tang is for the children! Suuuuu!"
Whatever that means!
So brie says that yeah, mica is a sloppy drunk!
And mica who is nearly in tears, apologize profusely! I mean she even appologized for slavery!
Right there on that boat! And like she said, Demetria whooped her white ass like Django unchained!
So, Daisy says that calling Mica an alcoholic isn't cool. Because those are strong words. And there's power in the tongue. In fact, she's been with a woman before. Melysssa.. So yeah! There's power in the tongue!
Geneva tells Daisy to shut up because she wasn't there.
And Melyssa just sat there drunk, thinking, I bitch a wish would! Yeah, she gets dyslexic when she gets drunk!
Anyway, the white girl got up and ran off crying! She probably went and drowned her sorrows in more alcohol! As we know, white people can drink a fish under the table! That's the one thing they're good for.
Now in the closing scene, the ladies are at the edge of the boat like that movie, The Titanic.
They're watching fire works. and they're pretty optimistic about the second season!
And getting to know each other and what not. In fact, it's time for the lesbian orgy at the bowels of the ship! Damn, wish i was there! Fish is the healthiest meat that you can eat!
And I'll leave you with these parting words. A wise man once said. "Great minds, think like dykes".
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
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Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Giving Some and Getting Some | Review | Recap | Opinion |
The show starts out where it left off last week. At the Cocktails with Belle event at EVR. Which is an acronym for "Everyone's Very Rich!" Well except for Melyssa. But' we'll get to that slut in a minute!
This episode was good and interesting right from the very start! So, Melyssa goes to buy herself a drink of Alcohol. And much like Daisy, her black card is broken! And she's tying to play dumb! Well Melyassa! You should have learned to stretch a dollar like you stretch a pussy! But it's all good! Imma take care of you as soon as I get this money!
Melyssa brought Daisy to Demetria's event because she wanted them to talk and fix their little pseudo beef.
And Demon-etria is being a vampire by trying to suck Daisy's positive energy out of her! She's hating on the sweet, spunky, bad wig wearing author and ball of positive energy!
I think that Daisy is adorable. And Demetria should work with her instead of against her. But anyway, Demetria turns her big disgusting body, so that she can fart on Daisy! And she knocks over a glass! And since Daisy is wearing a revealing dress, that shows off her brown shapely legs. The glass jumps up and cuts her!
And this could have all been avoided if these women were in the kitchen and wearing their Burka's!
Anyways! Daisy the Sunflower is bleeding happy juice all over the place. It looks like a horror film! I'm talking Blood everywhere! Looking like a rap video shot in Compton.
Oh well, I now know why the show is titled, "Blood Sweat and Heels" now! They were arguing and sweating, then Demetria drew blood and Daisy was sure nuff wearing some heels!
So Daisy got patched up, the she said F.T.S.! Fuck This Shit! And threw down that silly leg cast and put a tiny band aid on and somehow it stopped her from bleeding!
So, Demtria doesn't know why they are beefing with each other at this point either! So I am not alone by being confused here! She told Daisy something to the effect of. "Sometime you might not remember what someone said, but you remember the way they made you feel."
*Scofffs*
And you know what? To be honest.. That sounds like something a rape victim would say.
I can see Raz B now. "I don't remember what he said, but that shit hurt!"
I was hoping that she was gonna tell Demetria that she is sick of her nasty attitude. Tell her to grow up! And then threaten to whip out a strap on, rip the rubber dick off! And then proceed to strap on fuck her up the ass with a can of glade! To freshen her stinking attitude! Because she's tired of being insecure and talking out of her cunt!
But, she took the higher route. And let her know that she's not trying to bring any drama tot he event, and she's sorry that Demetria took whatever she did the wrong way. Now they're cool again! For now! And they will talk about it another time.
So now we're at Melyssa's job. And she walks in so drunk from the night before that she had have a brother in a suit come play, "Captain Save a Video Hoe!" And find the icon to her email account on her computer for her!
And Brother man better hit that! 40 year old ex booty models that come to work with hang overs are the easiest pussy you're ever gonna get. And you got bragging rights to boot!
So Jennifer, Melyssa's boss told her that she needs to have a meeting with her really soon.
And I'm scurred (scared) that she's about to get fired!
So, now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem New York!
Mica, who happens to be a high ranking member of the Illuminati. Drunk Model chapter. Has a torture apparatus for her cheating boyfriend all set up! She forced him to lay down at gun point. Took a sip from her special secret elixir *whispering* (Shh, it's alcohol!)
Then she sent some electrical currents through his eye brow!
Bad bad ruthless Mulatto! Nick Canon better watch his back!
Mica has a Cocktail party for Project Sunshine to go to. And she made her gay blabber mouthed boyfriend swear on Oath of Secrecy and silence. With the penalty of death if ever dares to reveal that secret!
*EVIL LAUGH* Muhu ha ha ha!
Hmm Cheddar cheese!
Now we visit Bries apartment in Manhattan New York.
And Brie might be cute. But even her dog is boring! I bet the only thing dryer than her personality is her pussy! Bries vagina is so dry, I can light a match on her clit!
I bet she masturbates with a hammer! Her coochie is so dry, tight, tart and hard. I bet she doesn't even own a wrench!
So, Melyssa Ford comes over! Amd she told sand paper snatch that she has this cute little Christmas Tree outfit that her dog can put on. And I was very confused. I said, "wait a minute! How does a woman like Melyssa who lives in that closet sized Apartment. I mean, it's not even a studio, it's just the sound proof booth! But, how does she have room there for extra clutter like Dog costumes!"
Then I released something! That little outfit, is probably something the bitch wore in a rap music video back in the day! When she was young! And relevant! At barbershops!
Anyway, Melyssa is laughing at the bib that Brie put on her dog. Because she knows how he must feel! Just like her days on music video shoot days, theirs a bitch with balls all around her!
You've made it Melyssa! You went from exploiting women to well... exploiting women! Congratulations you man-less 40 year old drunk! If you didn't scrape your womb over the years you could have a least had a baby or something! Oh well, at least you have debt to keep you company! You're bank account has nothing but 0's and a 1 at the end! Looking like a binary code!
So Demetria stops by. And Brie let's the girls know that they are dutifully invited to her charitable event for a Children's Hospital. And of course they drank to that!
Come to find out, it's Bries dog Rocko's birthday! And when she starts talking some bull shit about not putting a candle in his cake and what not. Demetria looks at her like she wants to get her psychologically evaluated. And Melyssa looks at her like, "Bitch! I would slap the black off of you, but I ran out of hand sanitizer!"
Now we're at Geneva's apartment in Harlem New York!
And she has a charitable event to attend, but forget all of that! This Wesley Snipes look a like is ready to get her some penis! She can't wait for it too! She decided to shove some Kegel balls up her coochie to tighten things up down there. She is going on a date with a friend with bend a fits! Not benefits, bend a fits! Because he is gonna bend her chubby body over and Harpoon the Hippo!
So now were in an SUV, that's a Slut Utility Vehicle by the way! We're with Demttria aka Krustyy The Clown! Melyssa Ford aka the woman so sexy that she takes a shit with her legs cross! And Brie Bythewood aka O.R.B.! And I bet you're asking yourself, "what does that mean?" You know, she's an ORB, O.R.B.! One Rich Bitch!
You see Brie and Mylessa do the same kind of work but, Brie has it easy! Mylessa works on her knees to sell Real Estate. And her knee pads are as raggedy as Mica the drunks kidneys.
Brie on the other hand, has a rich family so, she sells real estate through her Illuminati hook ups!
And Melyssa is a bit jealous of her easy, breezy, and privileged lifestyle.
I mean Brie is such a lady, when she wipes her ass, she folds the tissue over the chocolate before placing it into the toilet. Yes not tossing, but placing it. Carefully and slowly! And I bet she says, "there" when she gently puts it into the commode!
Now we arrive at Herbert H. Lehman College for the Children's Hospital party.
Demtria who is dressed like mother Earth in her green and blue dress. And Melyssa, who is dressed like the sky in her blue and white dress. Are chatting it up and the girls are gonna have a dinner party in the future. So they can stop disliking each other for no other reason than being catty girls.
And Melyssa and me feel the same way about Mica, that she is a sweet heart! And Melyssa has her back!
Speaking of Mica, we're at the Project Sunshine Event!
And they can barely get in the party good before some white boy in the Illuminati is hounding them about why they have been together for 2 years and aren't married yet! Because in their secret society, they marry to exchange monies and have what they believe to be "advanced" children, because of their blood lines.
And Mr. arranged marriage over here got married to his wife in 10 months to the date of them meeting! And he gave Mica that look like, "You know the rules". And Mica is a rebel, so they might off her!
So we're now back at the Hospital Charity Event! And Melyssa tells Demetria that Brie is so rich, that when she eats, she wipes her mouth with a gold embroidered, cashmere napkin. And the voice on her alarm clock that she wakes up to is Robin Leech from, "The Lifestyles Of The Rich and Famous!" And I don't mean a recording of his voice neither! Robin Leech sleeps underneath Bries bed and wakes her up by saying, "You're rich bitch!" at 6am every morning!
As a matter of fact. Her momma is more loaded like Aaliyah's airplane. She even has a 1.2 Million dollar painting in her bathroom!
And rumor has it. Bries birth, well, she was hatched from a golden egg!
And Demetria comes from money too! She was whipping her daddies credit card out of her Afro and charging it to the game since day 1!
Now, according to Melyssa, she was so filthy and poor that she was forced to begin working at age 11! LMAO! She's so full of shit! LMAO! Yeah right Melyssa! The only job you've ever held was a hand job! Oh and a blow job! Silly prostitute. Until you sold your first house through Real Estate, you thought J.O.B. was an acronym for "Jerking Off the Boss!"
Now we're with Geneva and her Friend with Bend a fits named Wayne.
The two are having a date at the ARTE CAFE! And she is a silly fat girl. Acting how women act when they really like a guy!
They barely ate any of their food before they had to hop up and leave to go do it!
And Wayne whispered something in her ear so crazy that she lost it and her balls fell out! No! Not the Kegal balls! I mean her testicles fell out of her duck taped ass!
He said this in her ear, *Psst!*"I always wanted to fuck Wesley Snipes!"
And the bitch was like, "On guard!" "Tushay" "Seppeku!" Lets's go!
Eww! Nasty!
Now we're at Pastai Restaurant with Melyssa Ford and her boss Jennifer.
And Melyassa just knows that she's about be fired so, she starts talking that big girl shit! Saying stuff like, "I'm so awesome that I moved to New York with a 1 way bus ticket, 2 bags fulls of dildos and $25!"
Yeah Melyssa, traveling with a small amount of cash is a good way to keep from losing it all in a robbery! Besides, you probably had some guys Centurion Black Card in your back pocket, keeping warm from all of that glorious booty heat!
And I bet you had a place to stay when you reached New York! I mean, $25 can get you a box to sleep in for the night. It wouldn't even put you in the worst of hotels! So stop fronting!
So Jennifer fell for Melyssa's B.S. story and she still has her job. For now!
But, Jennifer is quitting the MNS company and her excuse is her Son ,who is of marrying age, is moving back to Seattle Washington. And he "needs her". So she is going back to the West Coast! To be there for her adult son! And Melyssa starts crying like someone came in her eyes!
Then she threw major shade at her boss! She said that she feels like Jennifer is her mom! LMAO! Melyssa is 37 years old! This lady can't be much older than her, 5 years at most! So she basically said that Jennifer is an old bat! LMAO!
In our final scene, we visit Demetria's apartment in Brooklyn New York.
Demon-etria is with her loser, doormat fiance Gregg. And Demon has a great idea for the ladies to come together and settle their petty differences. By going on a boat trip! And she is going to invite them by sending them really catty cards that say things like, "Dear Mica, you are a drunk, long faced, Vampire looking Mulatto mess of a whore! You nasty alcoholic slut! ". And, "dear Melyssa, a vagina is made to stretch for a baby. Not for a Parade! An old wise man once told me, that a woman's vagina should never big bigger than her apartment!"
What a catty cunt! And this is why I can't stand Demon-etria!
But I have a card for Gregg and one for Demetria. Dear Demetria. You are an evil fat black bitch! If you lost about 50-75 pounds, you'd be cute! But since you wont stop working your jaws, running to the refrigerator and doing pull ups on the counter. We will never see you in a size smaller than a 20. Like you will never see your feet when you stand and pee at the toilet!
And dear Gregg. Grow a pair bro. You are engaged to a man! Start standing up to him more often. And ps. Please buy some chopstick! You're upper lip is whiter than Brie's circle of friends!
And that was pretty much it for this episode! Next week is the season Finale! Yes! The show has only 9 episodes for it's first season! I don't know why! It was Bravo's biggest debuting audience in the history of the channel!
Anyway!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words,
tell a fucking friend!
Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Cocktail Wishes and Champagne Nightmares | Review Recap and Opinion
The show starts out in New York City, at EVR.
Krusty the clown, I mean Demetria, is planning her blog celebration with Brie. This is the 7th year of the "A Belle In Brooklyn" blog.
The plan is for it to be a flashy, and fun party, with between 300 and 350 guests. But not everyone is invited! She sent didn't send an invitation to Daisy or Mica. Because Demetria is a stuck up hater!
To make matters more complicated, Brie and Micas relationship is still on the rocks. But that's her friend from the mixed girl club so, they will be cool again soon!
Now we are visiting Mica's apartment with her bald headed boyfriend who didn't just cheat on her. He was in a 20 year relationship with another person! And hmm, cheddar cheese! Why does his voice sound just like a transsexual.
Mica's mother Evon, pronounced (EEE - VON) or Evan, when she is cross dressing. Pops up at the door, and gives this long, sickly, tragic mulatto a much needed hug!
Evon is visiting because her alcoholic daughter needs some support since
her abusive, alcoholic daddy died. And she's been having a total meltdown. And her friends are dropping all around her like a school shooting!
So, back int he day, Evon put Mica and her sister in a cab, and bounced, leaving the family business, a funeral home behind! They were broke holy and stinking! But it was better to be alive than dead from her abusive daddy killing up the family. We now know where Mica get's her home invasion and psychotic outburst from!
Anyway! Evon went and became a minister back then. Because if their is one group of suckers that are born every minute that you can easily steal money from, it's Christians!
Speaking of Christianity. Mica, who I can tell is a swallower, begins speaking in tongues! And she was like *speaking in tongues*, "Hun dida rung a bung. God hates retarded people! Hyla tiky taco turtle dogma goka larfa, I just go to Church for the drinks!"
And this is exactly what is wrong with Christianity. A preachers drunk of a daughter. Making fun of speaking with tongues. YEAH! Pretty much!
Anyway, Evon has been conned by that cheating, lying, sissy Terry. She tells Mica that she is happy that she found a kind bald headed man.
Little does she know, that he was cheating on her from day one! Mica is Blood Sweat and Heel's Amina Buddafly. A mixed girl, that is more forgiving than Jesus. That snagged her a loser that was in a previous relationship for ions!
To make matters worse. You can't tell me that Terry is not a homosexual! I bet you a thousand dollars that this dude was cheating with a man! All I know is that, I just hope that when they break up. I'll get my chance with Mica. Crazy bitches equals crazy head! Don't judge me!
Demetria is visiting Mylessa at MNS, Real Impact Real Estate.
The start cutting the crap, not really talking about much. Then the conversation shifted when Demetria asked Mylessa whether or not she has made a sale in Real Estate. And Mylessa's face went from a smile, to a mild stroke! I mean, if you've ever seen a hard dick go soft, yeah just like that!
Anyway, come to find out, Mylessa is a mentor to children. She has a book club where she meets up with the children and they discuss life and literature. I thought she was gonna say that they are currently reading the different magazines that she has prostituted in. But unfortunately, they're reading a book titled, The New Jim Crow.
Mylessa, like myself, has been a nerd since birth! In fact, when she was younger, she used to read dictionaries. I did too as a child, along with encyclopedias. I probably have more in common with her than I could ever imagine.
So Daisy calls up Mylessa. And she puts her on speaker phone.
Daisy invites them to her book celebration at the Tracy Reese store.
I'm left thinking, "Damn! These are some reading bitches!" Anyway!
Demetria says that she will be too busy to attend. Yeah, she's a liar. In reality, she feels daisy is a tad bit retarded.
In our next scene. We visit Daisy's house, her mother Rene is visiting from California. Then, Daisy's hair dresser Ashley shows up. With her over the top fineness! And she is the first hair dresser in history to have better hair than clients!
Usually hair dressers look like a character from a Wesley Snipes movie, or worse! Man, I miss the 90's! Wesley Snipes fucked up hair doo's gave me life!
Anyway, I had to do a double take on Rene, because she looked like S.N.I.K.A. You know? A SNIKA! "Some Nigga I Know Already!"
Or as white people would say, "a familiar face!"
I may be bad with names. But I always remember a butt, and or a face!
And her momma is that dude that sings Gangsta's Paradise! Yup! Rene is Coolio!
Daisy tells S.N.I.K.A. that Demetria is a stuck up bitch. And I cannot agree more! And Rene was like, basically, that fat girl doesn't matter and she informs Daisy that she would be at her book event.
Ashley asked if she can come too. And Daisy told her that no, she can't come because she is just hired help.
In our next scene, we visit Book Court. Mylessa and Demtria are coming by to speak to Mylessa's children from the book club.
One girl said that the jealous fat bitches at her school used to bully her for being skinny. Blah blah blah.
Then this one girl starts talking about the media, and then she goes into music, and I just wanna shit in the mouth of the idiot who planted that girl their to say some BS about young women dressing like little whores. and that it comes from the media.
Don't get it twisted. Blaming the media was fine until it opened up the flood gates, to have a ran in the ground discussion about rap music.
Some Mexican kid starting talking about rappers, "disrespecting women"
and saying stuff like, "THOT" which means, "That Hoe Over There!"
Funny thing about it, I'm a rapper, and I puked in my mouth when I found out what that meant! But it's cool, my little Mexican friend is generalizing us rappers. One generalization deserves another punk. So, it's only fair game that I think that he is going to grow up to mow lawns and sell oranges. You know, because. Well, lets just say, he needs a towel for his back. I swear we need stricter immigration laws.
So, Mylessa is trying to be a reformed whore. This book club is her way of redeeming herself from giving my generation soft core porn. She's trying to make everybody forget that she is a whore. You know, by going on a Reality TV. show, getting drunk and jumping on couches. Yeah nothing basic about that. You are completely respectable person Mylessa! Sure!
Mica and Evon are visiting a restaurant named Macelleri.
And Evon is wearing a very chunky, masculine necklace, that looks like something that I'd wear. She must be feeling like Evan today!
So, Evan went for a walk with Terry where he informed her about him being in a relationship with another person for 20 years, yet decided to date Mica on the side. Which is a perfect excuse for Mica to drink like a fish!
I just wonder what Evan is gonna say when she finds out that Terry was with a man!
Anyway, come to find out. Mica has been engaged 3 times, and got cheated on by all of them. Which means that she doesn't put out regularly. I suggest that she hires a maid with a fetish for tall, bald and bisexual black men. And when they do their business with each other they gotta keep the door shut so she doesn't see it!
Hey! It was just a suggestion! Don't judge me!
Anyways, seeing that Terry is a typical homosexual Mason, Evon thinks that Mica should hold on to him. Just not by his slipper bald head.
I feel for Mica. I really like her so far, I just think that she has layers upon layers of insecurities. And she needs to quit drinking, and learn how deal with her problems in healthier ways. But she appears to have a good heart, and I think that she is like one of the those ride or die type of friends for her peoples. Hell, she did something that I know I couldn't do! She forgive that homo for cheating on her, even though he was in a 20 year relationship! And that says a lot about Mica, she is one forgiving woman!
Now, were at Daisy's book event at the Tracy Reese store. And man, I gotta get this money ASAP! I am by no means a woman's SIMP! But God DAMN! When Mylessa was checking out them clothes, and wishing that she had it in her pocket right now to go shopping. I would have handed over my black card quicker that Wayne Brady!
Don't judge me!
So most of the cast was there, attending the event. And, if their was any doubt in my mind that Brie was a whore, she showed her true colors.
I mean, she stuck her tongue out and waved to Geneva when she walked in! And I have a theory about girls that go around sticking out their tongue when they're excited. It means that they have an oral fixation. Don't let her quietness fool you! Yeah, Brie is one of those quite whores. She'd pull a Monica Lewinsky, slurp it up, gulp it down and not tell, no body! See, I can pick em! I just need the image of her creepy face on a T-shirt!
So Melyssa needed an excuse to have a drink. So she started speaking some kind words about Daisy so that the room would toast the liquor! And Mica is already so drunk, that she looked down to make sure the floor was still there. And when she looked up and lifted her hand up, she spilled her drink all over Daisy at her own event!
You know, come to think of it. I guess this is how a drunk waters a flower! Get it? because her name is Daisy! HA HA! I guess MICA, M.I.C.A. is an acronym for My Insides Consist of Alcohol! I bet her breathalyzer number looks like high score on a pinball game! I mean, Mica has more shots in her than Tupac!
Anyway, Mica starts wiping Daisy off with her bare hand! And I'm pondering. You mean to tell me that these Bourgeoisie Negroes. Spent all of that money on Liquor, and couldn't budget in a napkin? I mean, seesh! Old Dirty Bastard from the Wu Tang Clan, came out of his mothers pussy, was on Welfare at 30. Riding around in limos with a food stamp card. And still got his hands on a napkin to put on his dick as a condom. (Yes he really did that) And these broads don't even have some toilet tissue or something? I want my money back!
So, Terry tells Brie that she needs to patch things up with Mica because mixed girls gotta stick together. Because the darkies already out number them. And then he played the sympathy card by mentioning that her daddy died and stuff so. You know, she has to forgive her! And Mica comes over to them. Then Geneva comes over. And she tells Terry to shut the fuck up! And go away before she tells everybody that hes the second coming of Ru Pual!
So, Now Mica and Geneva are talking alone. And Geneva is still pissed because Mica called her Wesley Snipes stunt double!
So they're arguing about a bunch of nothing when Geneva convention is upset about Mica putting her fingers up in the air, saluting The Vodka Viking aka the God of alcohol. . So, she told Mica that she'd break her long skinny finger off and shove it up her flat ass! And I'm left thinking, that I haven't seen a light skinned bitch do that much fingering since Alicia Keys was on tour! And when I say fingering, I don't mean playing the piano!
So Geneva walked away, before she went Blade on that big vampire looking bitch! I thought she was gonna trick Mica by saying, "Her girl, wanna grape?" And then throw one of her big ass eyes in Mica's mouth! But nah, she didn't think about it at the time! Anyway, Geneva left and took Brie with her!
After the party, we visit Mica's apartment in Harlem. And Terry is massaging Mica's big ass feet! Her first shoes as a baby were hand me downs from Bozo.
Anyway, Terry come to find out used to have a head full of hair. That was until Mica's mother found out that he was cheating on her daughter! So, she snatched his wig!
Mica gave baldamore an ultimatum. Either go to counseling with her or it's over! Because she's getting old, and the white in her is about to expire.
You, know, because white girls are like Cinderella. You meet them at the a ball, and they look like a million bucks! But when that clock strikes midnight! Her face is gone like Kurt Cobain! Yeah, white bitches age as gracefully as a hot refrigerator of food! Damn! Why girls stay losing!
So now were at Demetria's apartment in Brooklyn and she is there with her pet fiance Greg! For whatever reason, black dudes named Greg on reality TV have a few things in common. They're bitch made. They suck up to their woman and cower in her presents. And they always end up with a pretentious fat black bitch! Man, black dudes named Greg stay losing!
As a matter of fact. Fuck Gregory Hines! Just because his name Greg!
So, Demetria has on the prettiest dress that ever seen a fat bitch squeeze her self into. And when she turns around to show it off to that loser Greg, I peeped something! Demetria is a fat bitch with no ass! And that's a travesty! A fat chick with a pancake booty is like. Meeting a homeless person who wears cologne. It's just doesn't feel right!
Anyway, it's the 7th anniversary of her book and she has an event coming up, so producer will squeeze some conflict out of it. Guaranteed! Or at least they'll edit it to make t look like something crazy happened.
Now we visit Mylessas tiny 600 Square foot apartment. And come to find out. The average rent in the location where she lives is $2,895 a month! But, she'll be okay soon. As soon as I get this money! Yeah. Mylessa Ford will be a discontinued model. Because I'm taking her off of the market. I'm get my Old Spice man on. I'm gonna hop off my unicorn, shitting diamonds. And build her a house so big, her closet is gonna be 600 Square feet! Just you watch!
Anyway, while Mylessa is getting her long, luxurious hair done by her hair stylish Shakai. Daisy is visiting. and she can't figure out Demetria's beef with her! And it's simple. Daisy is positive energy and Demetria is negative energy. But she is the type of negative that thinks that it's positive. If that makes any sense!
So, Daisy lays back on Mylessa bed and feels something poking her!
And she pulls back the covers, and it's the Darth Vader of vibrators! That thing looked like the one that the web cam girls and porn stars rave about! You know, the Hitachi Magic Wand? Don't ask how I know that!
Daisy being the intrusive, bi curious slut that she is. Takes a good sniff of the vibrator! Sadly, she didn't lick it clean like a good girl. But she did put it up to her lips and began speaking into it like a microphone and Mylessa said, "wrong lips girl!" So, maybe Demetria is right about one thing. Daisy is a little bit dumb!
In our final scene, were at the cocktails with Belle event in Manhattan NY with Demetria. And this event is not only for her to meet and greet her fans. It's also about drinking and meeting cute guys! Yeah, she actually said this! I could have sworn that she was engaged! Oh, that's right! Her fiance's name is Greg! As you can see, he stays losing! She can't even sell books without thinking about cheating on him! That dude has lower self esteem than Mica.
Anyway, I don't know if she meant any cute guys there. But the women that she was taking pictures with! Wow, they were fine!
So, Daisy pops up from out of the ground, and when Demetria sees her she has a look on her face like she's in a room full of baby shit!
So we have to wait till next week to see if Demetria plays , "she loves me, she loves me not!" with Daisy's petals!
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