Football is the Gayest sport of all time! All sports are gay, but Football is gayer than all other sports combined! And it's racist!
In 2013, I posted a blog, and YouTube video stating my opinion that wrestling was the gayest sport of all time!
http://meetmagazine.blogspot.com/2013/08/overstand-wrestling-is-gayest-sport-of.html
After some careful thought, and the realization that Wrestling is not a sport at all.
I came to the conclusion that Football is the absolute gayest sport ever!
Just look at the names of the positions in football, wide receiver & tight end?
Jammer, punter and holder?
But I digress.
Let's begin with the name.
Football is a blatant reference to BDSM! Bondage and Sadomasochism!
Football essentially means, Cock and Ball Torture!
Now lets discuss the actual game in it's self.
American Football's rules go a little something like this.
Two teams of muscular, angry men, dress up in shoulder pads, tights, spiked heels, eye make up, shirts with the number of men they fucked, and foreskin helmets.
They step unto a large field of grass, stand in a line and bend over in front of each others faces. One of the drag queens tosses an inflated brown testicle through his legs to his teammate, who shares the testicle with another teammate, whose job is to run across the field and cross a line.
Now, while attempting to cross this line, the drag queen must play hard to get!
The other team of drag queens are all gunning for him! Their coming as hard and fast as possible at his ass! And they want that brown testicle in their possession so bad, they will slam him on the ground, and all lay on top of him in a sky high pile of testosterone, bodies and sweat!
If the drag queen is successful in crossing the line, which is symbolic of the vein in a mans penis!
Once he crosses the line, he has completed a "touchdown"! The word "touchdown" was invented by the TSA. It means to touch a person down inside of their pants!
Anyway!
Once the drag queen, I mean football player gets a touch down, he then slams the testicle on the ground and starts dancing and posing!
Now, while he is dancing and posing to further impress his teammates, after resisting the other team of homosexuals, and making it across the field and the line. His own team is so happy and full of gay pride they repeatedly scream phrases such as, "Yeah BABY" and "that's what I'm talking about!", while slapping each other on the butt to celebrate!
After all, the Football player just earned his team Sex points! I mean, 6 points!
Now they have the chance to make another point. To increase their "score" and of course to score is to have sex! And gay football is all about men having sex with men!
The next act that will earn them 1 point, is called a "field goal".
And you receive 1 point for this play, because the number 1 is symbolic of the penis.
The smallest guy on the team comes out on the field and attempts to kick the brown testicle through a giant white fork.
And that's racist!
You see, football is all about two teams of gay sex slaves fighting over the right to feed a slave master a big brown ball for dinner!
That's why the teams are full of black guys, which represents the help, or the staff that cooks in the back!
And the white man, the Quarterback is the head chef! His job is to make sure you feed "Massa" the meat!
Now after reading/hearing this, you will never look at football the same again!
And you shouldn't! It's making America very gay! You've been warned!
As a matter of fact, if you watch football, you're gay too!
Happy Superbowl 2015! You sissies!
Oh yeah, I forgot something! Of course at the end of the game they all strip naked and take showers together!
How gay is that?
Let me know what you think about it all below!
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