Black Ink Crew | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Something in the Water
Black Stink the Soap Opera without the soap starts off at the shop.
With Teddy's jump off, Ashley popping up to get an old tattoo covered up.
Ashley, or
She states that the tattoo was done by a "ratchet person". So, it's possible that she was in jail when she received it! (Just speculation!) Probably either that, or the person is an ex friend or ex boyfriend. This reminds me of when
Anyway, The best thing about these scene, other than Ashley and Tiffany looking so cute. Is the hatred that is coming from Dutchess! Dutchess asks Ashely, (Remember that from the Amanda Show with Amanda Bynes? ASK ASHLEY!) Anyway! Dutchess asks Ashley,"Why are you coming in the tattoo shop, not knowing what the hell you wanna get? Don't come in the fucking tattoo shop. Take your ass home!"
WOW! So, the same person who said that she likes when people let her take control of their tattoos. And have her creative freedom, Mrs. "artist", slash business degree holder wants to drive away business. And you fail to realize two great opportunities that are right in front of your face!
The first opportunity is for you and the second is for the business. First of all, this is your chance to show your creativity Dutchess. And come up with an amazing piece of art to show your talent, and creative vision, and turn this unwanted tattoo in a masterpiece. Saving the day, and making yourself look like a genius!
And number 2. You have the perfect opportunity to up sell! If the girl for example needs a 3X5 inch tattoo to cover up what she has there, you can do a 6X10 inch tattoo, large piece that wraps around her body and charge her double the money! It's a perfect excuse to do a large tattoo. With a lot of color. And make sure you have to finish it in two tattooing sessions!
Anyway, O'Shit finds out from the staff that Walt is having a baby! And O'Shit begins laughing hysterically. But then turns around and says that he got a another chick pregnant himself! And I am not sure who it was but, in one of my earlier reviews, I said that the girl he was with, from the military who had that pistol is gonna end up getting pregnant next. So, time will tell whether or not she's the one!
All I know is that O'Shit needs to change his name to the Iraq War. Because he doesn't know when to pull out!
In the next scene. A California rapper named Kid Ink wants to get a puzzle piece on his abs. And the tattoo that Dutchess comes up with for him is more cluttered than a scene from hoarders! She somehow managed to cram in a cassette tape, a pen, a microphone and a record. All in the same tattoo!
Ceaser lets her know that she is, "putting ten pounds of shit, in a 5 pound bag!"
Either that or 4 big black horse dicks in a midget butt. Same thing!
I've heard of Kid Ink before. And I am not a fan. What I can't help but to notice is that he
looks like Nelly, with aids! No, I take that back! If Chris Brown, dressed up as a zombie on Halloween! Yeah, just like that! He looks like the corpse of Chris Brown! No shit!
Anyway, Kid liked the tattoo concept and let Dutchess draw that garbage on him. Kid Ink has a bunch of ugly tattoos all over him anyway. So whats one more ugly tattoo?
The most interesting part of this scene is that Dutchess was being extremely flirtatious with Kid Ink! He appeared to be too high to notice!
Now, for the record. I don't know anything about tattoo's! And I tuned in this season, after only seeing a tiny bit of season one. I began watching season 2 because of Alexandra Estevez! And even though my knowledge is super limited in this subject. I see a lot of visible scaring on Kid Ink after Dutchess tattooed him. Nicks, and redness everywhere! Just needed to point that out!
In the next scene, Walt, Ceaser and Teddy are at the shop. And come to find out, Walt has not introduced Ceaser to his family. This fact lets me know that Walt may be smarter than what I would have thought of him. But then, a pregnant man, looking woman, named Zenobia walks in and when I see what she looked like. I see why he never showed her off. He was even more embarrassed than I was!
Tiffany feels that Walt needs to cough up that ring! Put a ring on it! And commit himself to this woman!
I must pause the scene right there to have my Tiffany Winter Wonderland moment.
So, Tiffany pops up looking adorable in a tight black dress with tie dye print on it! Blue, Purple, and Green. And while the entire dress is shaped like a long tank top. The Tye Dye is designed to look like a strapless dress! And she looks ravishing in it. It really shows off her hourglass figure and the pops of color compliment her delicious, I mean her smooth caramel complected skin.
Okay, I'd done lusting for the moment!
Tiffany is such a respectful, wholesome and mature lady. That she advises Xena the Warrior Princes, I mean Zenobia to not allow Walter to keep her as his, "babies mother". In other words put a ring on it! I feel you Tiffany! We'll be shopping at Tiffany's for our ring in a couple of years. Ha ha! In my dreams Tiffany. You're out of my league. All jokes!
Anyway! Ted makes sure to let the whole shop know that a wedding ring, and vows wont stop him from sleeping with a woman outside of his marriage. Excuse me. Not a woman, but rather a bitch! Ted's foggy language causes the women to look at suspect Ted a little funny. I mean, he's quick to call women in general, not individuals but the female population itself, "bitches". And to make things more interesting. He's wearing a tighter shirt than all of them! I mean his closet must look like her robbed Barbie!
Their are only 3 instance when calling a woman the B-word is appropriate. #1 She cheated on you, aborted your child, lied to you or did something else foul to you, physically, emotionally or mentally harming you is fair grounds for the B-word to be used! #2 You are telling a joke. Especially if the jokes is blatantly and obviously a joke without shade! #3 You are beating her guts like cake batter! I'm talking, smashing it so hard your scrambling her eggs and opening her ovaries! I'm talking, giving a girl a spinal realignment!
Now you know what you're in for Tiffany!
So, this chick that Walter busted a Waltnut inside of. Looks like Erica Bad doo doo!
No shit! I usually don't talk shit about peoples girlfriends like this. But when your girl has an, I'm straining on the toilet face. I can't help but to talk about it!
And to top it off. Her name is Zenobia! And that sounds too much xenophobia!
And Xenophobia is defined as being an irrational or unreasoned fear of something that's foreign or strange. And this Halloween looking, experiment gone bad, scares me half to death!
I mean, those protruding eyes. That mouth and that lisp! I mean she hisses when she talks! She sounds like a gay snake! And she has that NASA mouth! Nothing but space!
I mean this chick is beat! Ever seen a sneaker, that a dog chewed on? Yeah, she looks just like that! A chew toy faced chick! She has an "O" face! Because if Walt introduced me to Zenith flat screen, or Zenobia or whatever her name is! I'd say, "Why do you have that dog unleashed in the shop?" Then Walt would say, "That isn't a dog, that's my babies mother, fool!" And I'd reply, "Oh! On some realness. You can't convince me that she doesn't have 6 nipples and a tail!
Anyway!
Now Walt and Zen Buddhist, I mean Zenobia, are outside. And she let him know that seeing that she decided not to kill his baby, he needs to commit to her. Because nothing makes a man wanna marry his "babies mother". Like telling him that she didn't kill his child so, put yourself into more debt and in more stress by marrying a crazy woman!
How does a man turn down a selling point like that?
Despite being with her for 3 years, Walt is not feeling her demonic attitude. Also, he doesn't want her to be a part of his $50,000 debt. Which sucks to owe that much money! But it's still a great excuse to dodge a woman, or a relationship!
Think about it, he'd have to sell his organs, to add a wedding and wedding rings to his list of debts! And never mind the cost of his funeral when Zenith Television, I mean Zenobia, kills him! Trust me!
This woman is a problem. I can tell! She's pushy and not very bright to boot! You should have thought about this marriage thing before you let Walt stick the sword in the stone!
Now were back inside the shop, and DeMarcus Cousins, a basket player, on a team named the Sacramento Kings stops by to get some ink! Never heard of him! Anyway! He's wearing his little School Boy Q style fishing hat. And he came in to get a tattoo of his mothers face. And not only does Ceaseer do an okay job. He isn't left looking beaten, mangled and bloody like Kid Ink! Dutchess victim from an earlier scene!
Now were at a restaurant with Dutchess and Tiffany Winter!
Dutchess has an interview with some guys from a clothing line named, Ink Life.. And a guy named Marvin, Dutchess's ex boyfriend is there at the meeting! Apparently he is friends with these 2 guys from the company. And Dutchess is looking extra thirsty around the penis! She is sniffing around like a dog covered in pepper! And she wants to his balls in her mouth! *WOOF!* She's honestly looking even thirstier than when she was with Kid Ink! Because, not only does she sit down right next to the guy, as opposed to letting her sister in law sit next to him. She is looking all googly eyed like she's under hypnosis! Or maybe dicknosis!
Come to find out, InkLife want to work with Dutchess solely, not Black Ink. And Dutchess is not only more than okay with this idea. This seasoned opportunist is defending her selfish nature with her claws sharpened and ready for combat with anyone who dares to question her loyalty and decency to the man that made her, Ceaser!
She is being so defensive to the Manager of Black Ink, Ms. Tiffany Winter! Ceasers sister! She is coming up with a bucket full of excuses for why she should make a deal with this company. She's talking about how hot she is and how men want her. And basically that is just something that Ceaser has to deal with! What makes it all worst is that they said that Dutchess will be working with 3 men! Is the third man her ex boyfriend? If so, then why?
Tiffany is being mature and observant about the situation.She is listening acutely and not saying much. She's soaking the in all of the Bull Shit! Tiffany knows that this will lead to problems and that's it's not a good idea. I'm with Tiffany, as you already know. And this right here folks, is why Tiffany is the best part of the show!
Come to find out, Dutchess relationship with Marvin was pretty much about grinding spices, doing the butt, and piercing the cheeks. I mean it was pretty much a bunch of lustful, sweaty dread lock pulling back shots! And she has pictures of the two of them on her computer doing God knows what. Which Ceaseer does not know about.
Dutchess wants to build her own empire and she is not concerned with Ceasers feelings at all! She is ice cold about it. And feels that she this is an opportunity for her to build her own brand!
The meetings is over and, Dutchess and Tiffany are walking down the street. And Dutchess looks like a prostitute! Little pink shorts and an ugly shirt. The shirt is a tiny cut off . Black with flowers on it. And some heels! She looks like a drag queen street walker! I'm talking, Ru Paul Bunyan! I mean how else does a whore like Dutchess dress when going to a business meeting?
As for Tiffany, as usual she looks magically delicious. She has on her pretty little black and white dress. To compliment her multiracial background. And her butt is looking marvelous! Just saying!
Anyway, Dutchess is firm in her decision to do whatever she feels that she needs to do for her. So hopefully, Ceaser will break up with her and get a better looking girl for the show! We have only 1 hottie left! Now that Alexandra is gone. Tiffany is the last pretty girl standing. Just saying!
Back at the shop ted is walking in. And finds out about O'Shit confessing the new child to Kathy. His crazy ex girlfriend that jumped on that chick at the restaurant, on the first episode. Come to find out, she gave him a black eye, stabbed him and beat on his other girls before. And then called the police on him to boot. So, yeah, she's a mixed nut!
So, Kathy shows up. And come to find out this demon has been practice meditation.
I'd think that a woman with arms as big as thighs would be doing cardio! You need to meditate on a treadmill, and relax on a salad! Seriously. She looks like somebody to a shit and put a wig on it!
Anyway! O'shit confesses that he got this other chick pregnant. And as expected Kathy is shitting kittens! He has babies with 3 women now! This vagetarian stays going raw! One of these days, he's gonna hit something so nasty, he's gonna have bump, the size of apple growing out of dick hole!
Kathy claims that he's stretching himself thin with his tribe of children.
In reality, her real concern is the fact that she feels that she will never get his magic stick back for just herself! The scary thing about it is, she was crying and thanking God and the Universe for only having 1 child. So that she can focus on her career. And because she doesn't want to be known as O'Shit's babies mother! Really? The chick who fights at restaurants in from of her own child? I'd think that being a babies mother is the least of your problems! Throwing jackets over strangers heads in public and then attacking them in from of children. I mean, I just hope to God that this is scripted.
So, Now we are at the Bail Bondsman's office. And O'shit needs Puma's assistance to attempt to convince these 2 slime ball pigs to let him go to Atlantic City, in New Jersey for Puma's bachelor party. The bail bondsman agree, however, he will have to book these 2 guys a hotel room at Cesare's Palace! In addition to the hotel room they want $1,000 each, and food! The total cost for Porky pig and Babe to chaperone him will be between $2,000 to $3,000! We will have to wait to next week to see whether or not O'shit brings home the bacon!
In the next scene, Dutchess and Ceaser are in the car. On the way to Ceaser's families BBQ. And Dutchess lets Ceaser know that her ex-boyfriend is friends with the owner of the clothing line, that she had the business meeting with. And that he was there at the table with them! Now, Ceaser is trying to play it cool. But he lets Dutchess know that she should have walked out. because them having Marvin there was unprofessional and unnecessarily. Dutchess completely downplays the whole situations and tells him, "what he wants to hear".
For the record women. For what I have personally seen and from my own personal stand point. Most men, want to hear the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth! For example if a man asks a woman whether or not he looks fat in his shirt. He is probably asking because he will either be dieting or exercising to change his situation, in other words. Taking action! However, a female will often ask her mate whether or not she looks fat in something because she's looking for him to say no, so that she will feel comfortable and even good, about not changing anything. Note to women, be honest when you're dealing with a man. Just saying!
Anyway, to sum up the conversation. Dutchess is basically trying to sugar coat the situation before Ceaser can find out the truth from Tiffany. Dutchess is a double dipping, double agent! She made no mention of her talking with Marvin and complaining about Ceaser. Or the pictures on her laptop etc.
So, they finally arrive at the picnic. And we meet Sophie, Ceasers sister. And the Barbecue was chips and water! I kid you not! I don't understand why Sassy wasn't invited. Their was no meat there! As a lesbian she would have felt right at home. HA HA! Just kidding!
Anyway, the magic of TV. worked wonders! With no meat being their, this gives Dutchess and Ceasers sister Sophie the perfect excuse to go grocery shopping while Ceaser and Tiff Tiff have time to converse about what really happened.
Now, Tiffany talks with Ceaser and lets him know that Marvin was still in connections with Dutchess. And that she complained about Ceaser at some point. And of course about the pictures on the laptop. And that it was obvious that this guy is still feeling Dutchess!
Ceaser gets up and leaves and Tiffany feels that maybe she shouldn't have spoken up!
For the record, Tiffany's confession to Ceaser was not only completely accurate. It was with good intentions. She was being a sweet sister, looking out for her brother during a trying time. Thank you Tiff Tiff for holding your brother and the family business down.
Dutchess comes back and now Tiffany has to explain to Dutchess what just happened. And Tye, pops up! Brown Yoda! And my man's Tye said exactly what I would have said! If Marvin wasn't supposed to be there, why was he there? Obviously because them dudes were being grimey! I'm talking Noreaga and the Neptunes Grimey!
Tye lets her know flat out that they set her up. And that when she saw this guy there that wasn't even supposed to be there, she should have left!
Dutchess starts talking about women coming by the shop, that Ceaser used to mess with. Which is of course, deflection for her shady and sneaky behavior unto Ceaser.
She states that nether of them have ever been in love before. In other words, she is too new to this situation to know how to act. Or more deflection. She is blaming her ignorance or lack of experience and knowledge in common sense for her behavior.
Dutchess then blames her heart condition, and her family issues for her bad decisions. And this is of course the ultimate deflection, with a sympathy plea. I mean who brings up their heart condition and family issues when you were your only real concern is getting back cracked? We will probably continue from the Barbecue scene next week.
On a side note. I bet Dutchess has a really hairy asshole! Something tells me that she's a hirsute individual. Just saying. I'm really hoping that Dutchess and Ceaser will depart. We need a better looking chick with a much better attitude on the show. Then again, I'm not thinking with my big head. So what do I know?
Let me know what you think about the show. And my review, recap and opinion.
And please subscribe to my YouTube channel!
http://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazine2/videos
No comments:
Post a Comment