Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Giving Some and Getting Some | Review | Recap | Opinion |

Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Giving Some and Getting Some | Review | Recap | Opinion |

The show starts out where it left off last week. At the Cocktails with Belle event at EVR. Which is an acronym for "Everyone's Very Rich!" Well except for Melyssa. But' we'll get to that slut in a minute!


This episode was good and interesting right from the very start! So, Melyssa goes to buy herself a drink of Alcohol. And much like Daisy, her black card is broken! And she's tying to play dumb! Well Melyassa! You should have learned to stretch a dollar like you stretch a pussy! But it's all good! Imma take care of you as soon as I get this money!

Melyssa brought Daisy to Demetria's event because she wanted them to talk and fix their little pseudo beef.

And Demon-etria is being a vampire by trying to suck Daisy's positive energy out of her! She's hating on the sweet, spunky, bad wig wearing author and ball of positive energy!

I think that Daisy is adorable. And Demetria should work with her instead of against her. But anyway, Demetria turns her big disgusting body, so that she can fart on Daisy! And she knocks over a glass! And since Daisy is wearing a revealing  dress, that shows off her brown shapely legs. The glass jumps up and cuts her!

And this could have all been avoided if these women were in the kitchen and wearing their Burka's!

Anyways! Daisy the Sunflower is bleeding happy juice all over the place. It looks like a horror film! I'm talking Blood everywhere! Looking like a rap video shot in Compton.
Oh well, I  now know why the show is titled, "Blood Sweat and Heels" now! They were arguing and sweating, then Demetria drew blood and Daisy was sure nuff wearing some heels!

So Daisy got patched up, the she said F.T.S.! Fuck This Shit! And threw down that silly leg cast and put a tiny band aid on and somehow it stopped her from bleeding!

So, Demtria doesn't know why they are beefing with each other at this  point either! So I am not alone by being confused here! She told Daisy something to the effect of. "Sometime you might not remember what someone said, but you remember the way they made you feel."

*Scofffs*
And you know what? To be honest.. That sounds like something a rape victim would say.
I can see Raz B now. "I don't remember what he said, but that shit hurt!"

I was hoping that she was gonna tell Demetria that she is sick of her nasty attitude. Tell her to grow up! And then threaten to whip out a strap on, rip the rubber dick off! And then proceed to strap on fuck her up the ass with a can of glade! To freshen her stinking attitude! Because she's tired of being insecure and talking out of her cunt!

But, she took the higher route. And let her know that she's not trying to bring any drama tot he event, and she's sorry that Demetria took whatever she did the wrong way. Now they're cool again! For now! And they will talk about it another time.

So now we're at Melyssa's job. And she walks in so drunk from the night before that she had have a brother in a suit come play, "Captain Save a Video Hoe!" And find the icon to her email account on her computer for her!

And Brother man better hit that! 40 year old ex booty models that come to work with hang overs are the easiest pussy you're ever gonna get. And you got bragging rights to boot!

So Jennifer, Melyssa's boss told her that she needs to have a meeting with her really soon.
And I'm scurred (scared) that she's about to get fired!

So, now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem New York!

Mica, who happens to be a high ranking member of the Illuminati. Drunk Model chapter. Has a torture apparatus for her cheating boyfriend all set up! She forced him to lay down at gun point. Took a sip from her special secret elixir *whispering* (Shh, it's alcohol!)

Then she sent some electrical currents through his eye brow!

Bad bad ruthless Mulatto! Nick Canon better watch his back!

Mica has a Cocktail party for Project Sunshine to go to. And she made her gay blabber mouthed boyfriend swear on Oath of Secrecy and silence. With the penalty of death if ever dares to reveal that secret!

*EVIL LAUGH* Muhu ha ha ha!

Hmm Cheddar cheese!


Now we visit Bries apartment in Manhattan New York.
And Brie might be cute. But even her dog is boring! I bet the only thing dryer than her personality is her pussy! Bries vagina is so dry, I can light a match on her clit!
I bet she masturbates with a hammer! Her coochie is so dry, tight, tart and hard. I bet she doesn't even own a wrench!

So, Melyssa Ford comes over! Amd she told sand paper snatch that she has this cute little Christmas Tree outfit that her dog can put on. And I was very confused. I said, "wait a minute! How does a woman like Melyssa who lives in that closet sized Apartment. I mean, it's not even a studio, it's just the sound proof booth! But, how does she have room there for extra clutter like Dog costumes!"

Then I released something! That little outfit, is probably something the bitch wore in a rap music video back in the day! When she was young! And relevant! At barbershops!

Anyway, Melyssa is laughing at the bib that Brie put on her dog. Because she knows how he must feel! Just like her days on music video shoot days, theirs a bitch with balls all around her!

You've made it Melyssa! You went from exploiting women to well... exploiting women! Congratulations you man-less 40 year old drunk! If you didn't scrape your womb over the years you could have a least had a baby or something! Oh well, at least you have debt to keep you company! You're bank account has nothing but 0's and a 1 at the end! Looking like a binary code!

So Demetria stops by. And Brie let's the girls know that they are dutifully invited to her charitable event for a Children's Hospital. And of course they drank to that!

Come to find out, it's Bries dog Rocko's birthday! And when she starts talking some bull shit about not putting a candle in his cake and what not. Demetria looks at her like she wants to get her psychologically evaluated. And Melyssa looks at her like, "Bitch! I would slap the black off of you, but I ran out of hand sanitizer!"


Now we're at Geneva's apartment in Harlem New York!

And she has a charitable event to attend, but forget all of that! This Wesley Snipes look a like is ready to get her some penis! She can't wait for it too! She decided to shove some Kegel balls up her coochie to tighten things up down there.  She is going on a date with a friend with bend a fits! Not benefits, bend a fits! Because he is gonna bend her chubby body over and Harpoon the Hippo!


So now were in an SUV, that's a Slut Utility Vehicle by the way! We're with Demttria aka Krustyy The Clown! Melyssa Ford aka the woman so sexy that she takes a shit with her legs cross! And Brie Bythewood aka O.R.B.! And I bet you're asking yourself, "what does that mean?" You know, she's an ORB,  O.R.B.! One Rich Bitch!

You see Brie and Mylessa do the same kind of work but, Brie has it easy! Mylessa works on her knees to sell Real Estate. And her knee pads are as raggedy as Mica the drunks kidneys.

Brie on the other hand, has a rich family so, she sells real estate through her Illuminati hook ups!

And Melyssa is a bit jealous of her easy, breezy, and privileged lifestyle.
I mean Brie is such a lady, when she wipes her ass, she folds the tissue over the chocolate before placing it into the toilet. Yes not tossing, but placing it. Carefully and slowly! And I bet she says, "there" when she gently puts it into the commode!


Now we arrive at Herbert H. Lehman College for the Children's Hospital party.

Demtria who is dressed like mother Earth in her green and blue dress. And Melyssa, who is dressed like the sky in her blue and white dress. Are chatting it up and the girls are gonna have a dinner party in the future. So they can stop disliking each other for no other reason than being catty girls.

And Melyssa and me feel the same way about Mica, that she is a sweet heart! And Melyssa has her back!

Speaking of Mica, we're at the Project Sunshine Event!

And they can barely get in the party good before some white boy in the Illuminati is hounding them about why they have been together for 2 years and aren't married yet! Because in their secret society, they marry to exchange monies and have what they believe to be "advanced" children, because of their blood lines.

And Mr. arranged marriage over here got married to his wife in 10 months to the date of them meeting! And he gave Mica that look like, "You know the rules". And Mica is a rebel, so they might off her!


So we're now back at the Hospital Charity Event! And Melyssa tells Demetria that Brie is so rich, that when she eats, she wipes her mouth with a gold embroidered, cashmere napkin. And the voice on her alarm clock that she wakes up to is Robin Leech from, "The Lifestyles Of The Rich and Famous!" And I don't mean a recording of his voice neither! Robin Leech sleeps underneath Bries bed and wakes her up by saying, "You're rich bitch!" at 6am every morning!

As a matter of fact. Her momma is more loaded like Aaliyah's airplane. She even has a 1.2 Million dollar painting in her bathroom!

And rumor has it. Bries birth, well, she was hatched from a golden egg!

And Demetria comes from money too! She was whipping her daddies credit card out of her Afro and charging it to the game since day 1!

Now,  according to Melyssa, she was so filthy and poor that she was forced to begin working at age 11! LMAO! She's so full of shit! LMAO! Yeah right Melyssa! The only job you've ever held was a hand job! Oh and a blow job! Silly prostitute. Until you sold your first house through Real Estate, you thought J.O.B. was an acronym for "Jerking Off the Boss!"


Now we're with Geneva and her Friend with Bend a fits named Wayne.
The two are having a date at the ARTE CAFE! And she is a silly fat girl. Acting how women act when they really like a guy!

 They barely ate any of their food before they had to hop up and leave to go do it!
And Wayne whispered something in her ear so crazy that she lost it and her balls fell out! No! Not the Kegal balls! I mean her testicles fell out of her duck taped ass!

He said this in her ear, *Psst!*"I always wanted to fuck Wesley Snipes!"
And the bitch was like, "On guard!" "Tushay" "Seppeku!" Lets's go!
Eww! Nasty!


Now we're at Pastai Restaurant  with Melyssa Ford and her boss Jennifer.
And Melyassa just knows that she's about be fired so, she starts talking that big girl shit! Saying stuff like, "I'm so awesome that I moved to New York with a 1 way bus ticket, 2 bags fulls of dildos  and $25!"

Yeah Melyssa, traveling with a small amount of cash is a good way to keep from losing it all in a robbery! Besides, you probably had some guys Centurion Black Card in your back pocket, keeping warm from all of that glorious booty heat!

And I bet you had a place to stay when you reached New York! I mean, $25 can get you a box to sleep in for the night. It wouldn't even put you in the worst of  hotels! So stop fronting!

So Jennifer fell for Melyssa's B.S. story and she still has her job. For now!

But, Jennifer is quitting the MNS company and her excuse is her Son ,who is of marrying age, is moving back to Seattle Washington. And he "needs her". So she is going back to the West Coast! To be there for her adult son! And Melyssa starts crying like someone came in her eyes!

Then she threw major shade at her boss! She said that she feels like Jennifer is her mom! LMAO! Melyssa is 37 years old! This lady can't be much older than her, 5 years at most! So she basically said that Jennifer is an old bat! LMAO!


In our final scene, we visit Demetria's apartment in Brooklyn New York.
Demon-etria is with her loser, doormat fiance Gregg. And Demon has a great idea for the ladies to come together and settle their petty differences. By going on a boat trip! And she is going to invite them by sending them really catty cards that say things like, "Dear Mica, you are a drunk, long faced, Vampire looking Mulatto mess of a whore! You nasty alcoholic slut! ". And, "dear Melyssa, a vagina is made to stretch for a baby. Not for a Parade! An old wise man once told me, that a woman's vagina should never big bigger than her apartment!"

What a catty cunt! And this is why I can't stand Demon-etria!

But I have a card for Gregg and one for Demetria. Dear Demetria. You are an evil fat black bitch! If you lost about 50-75 pounds, you'd be cute! But since you wont stop working your jaws, running to the refrigerator and doing pull ups on the counter. We will never see you in a size smaller than a 20. Like you will never see your feet when you stand and pee at the toilet!

And dear Gregg. Grow a pair bro. You are engaged to a man! Start standing up to him more often. And ps. Please buy some chopstick! You're upper lip is whiter than Brie's circle of friends!

And that was pretty much it for this episode! Next week is the season Finale! Yes! The show has only 9 episodes for it's first season! I don't know why! It was Bravo's biggest debuting audience in the history of the channel!

Anyway!

See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!


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