Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozado gives birth to baby boy with Los Angeles Dodger Carl Crawford
She's survived atomic head butts from color struck football players. She's head nude photos of her humungous breasts posted on the internet. Now, the 38 year old Basket Ball Wives star, Evelyn, big titties Lozada has given birth to an 8 pound 21 inch length baby.
Her natural birth took place in Arizona at 3:55 AM!
All I know is, as sexy as she is. I know Chad Ocho (85) Cinco had to head butt a wall round about, 85 times!
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Did Ashanti Douglas, Nelly's girlfriend, get plastic surgery? Disturbing Instagram picture!
I saw this disturbing photo of Ashanti on her Instagram account!
Her abs look perfect, her T-shirt is really nice. All little bit of it.
And then, BAM! Her face disturbed the hell out of me!
So, did Nelly's girlfriend have plastic surgery or what?
Let me know what you think below and be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Is he really 174 years old? WOW! Anyway! He didn't just take a picture with the stripper, he had his hand on the booty while his pregnant wife is at home flossing her teeth and strumming the Banjo!
What a foul guy! Don't get me wrong! The stripper is a nice looking lady, and she does have a juicy rump roast! But if I were Peter, I wouldn't leave Amina for any other chick! Not only is she his pregnant wife. She's gorgeous and a really nice person!
In my opinion, Peter really has to start doing better!
Hug your wife, kiss your wife and wash you dirty feet!
EWW!
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Is Lady GaGa a racist? Her hair style may be reflecting some hateful feelings towards Jamaicans!
Look at the following photo. Notice anything interesting?
Yes! That' Pop Diva Lady GaGa wearing long, blonde, flowing dreadlocks. So the question remains. Is Lady GaGa being racist? Is she making fun of the Jamaicans?
Come to think of it, she may have been dressed this way on Jamaican day!
You know? Once a week we celebrate Jamaican day?
You know?
Mon Day! The day of the Mon's!
ANYWAY! Let me know what you think below about Lady GaGa and whether or not she is being racist by wearing that mop on her head!
All I know is that with a booty like hers, I'd ring her mop alright!
Comment below and Subscribe to my YouTube channel!
Is Lady GaGa having a sex change to become male? Are Transgender plans a possibility?
Everyone knows that @ladygaga
is very gay friendly. But could she be pulling a Bruce Jenner on us and changing her gender? Just look at this Drag King photo and 2 photos of her with a mustache!
Considering the subject at hand, these photos may seem to be pretty tame and innocuous! But the truth of the matter is, she has a well known male alter ego or split personality named Jo Calderon!
So let's add this up here. Lady GAGA is a Drag King, cross dresser. Who obsessed with gay people. Especially gay men! So, why not become one herself? What do you think?
Let me know below, what you think about Gaga possibly becoming a man.
And be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more!
Miley Cyrus wearing black, and some Denim daisy dukes. Throwing up the Mudra for the Triangle of Manifestation. But what is she attempting to manifest?
Anyway!
So! Is this proof enough for you that she is in the ILLUMINATI! Or what?
Let me know what you think below and Subscribe to my YouTube channel!
Please do not let your children watch these videos! Kids will try to do it at home.
And someone will be severely injured! Or end up on Spike TV'S 1000 Ways To Die! Viewer discretion is strongly advised!
Not since the stupidity of "planking", where a person lays flat down upon their tummy in the prone position. (Which some people naively refer to as a "sport".) Have I ever seen such a stupid and dangerous trend sweeping America! I mean, give idiots a camera and they will find a way to hurt themselves in the name of receiving attention and recognition from strangers!
Come to think of it! There were "trends" that were worst than planking!
Tebowing- which is when a person imitates Patriots football player, Tim Tebow. By kneeling down and placing their face on their hand!
Then their was "owling"! And this is where a person sits on a banister, a railing etc. and imitates an owl!
And possibly the dumbest thing in history, the infamous Cinnamon challenge! Where people would place a teaspoon or more of cinnamon in their mouth and attempt to swallow it within the time limit of 1 minute!
With that said. What is the newest stupid trend to hit America? Sellotape Selfies!
You basically wrap your face in tape and take a picture! Now of course you can suffocate by doing something so incredibly dumb. However, it's the year 2014! The year of dumb people with smart phones!.
This is even more scary than the no make up selfie craze!
Anyway.
What is the origin? Where did Sellotape Selfies begin?
From what I read so far, some 21 year old girl named Lizzie Durley, from Brighton University,
watched a movie titled, "Yes Man" starring Jim Carrey.
The actor taped his face in a scene, so...
the dumbest trend to date was born! It takes no talent, and no originality. And you just may get a tiny sampling of fame from wrapping your face and head with clear packing tape, and you're sort of famous!
For the record, I hated the Harlem Shake! And, Twerk videos were the only, "Trend" I've ever supported!
Let's just hope that no one goes on an Ultra Trend Challenge! And dares to take a sellotape Selfie, with cinnamon in their mouth, while twerking and doing the Harlem Shake!.
They'll end up planking for the last time as they lay there suffocating to their death!
Love yourself people! It's not worth the 20 seconds of fame!
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Black Ink Crew Season 3 NEWS! | VH1 show back! Review videos coming!
Black Stink, the Soap Opera, without the soap will be returning for it's third season on VH1!
The Reality TV. show about a tattoo shop full of mischievous yet entertaining people will be back on Monday, March 31, of 2014 at 9:30PM Eastern Standard Time!
Just in time for Spring! And unfortunately for our noses sakes, 'm not talking Irish Spring!
And speaking of human waste! Allegedly, O' Shit is gonna be getting engaged! You know, to old piss!
EWW!
You wont wanna miss all of the big chapped and ashy lip, senseless drama and stupidity.
And beautiful body art! From a black owned and operated business in Harlem! Yes! Right in the Harem that is Harlem!
I for one am not a fan of tattoos per say. However, I do recognize and realize the artistry that goes into them.
And if you're wondering, yes I will be reviewing the show this season. Just like I did last season! Well, I did five episodes or so last season. This time, I plan to do the whole thing!
Speaking of my reviews. One of the cast members saw one of my reviews and left me a very sweet message on my blog!
So one morning I was checking my emails, and it said that I had a message posted to my blog on the 2nd season of black ink crew, episode 10 review. And when I saw her name, I said, "no way!"
On March 11, 2014 AT 9:08 AM She wrote.
"Thank you hunny=) your awesome. Great review.
Tiff xoxo"
And to tell you the truth. I smiled so big, I broke my face! I said to my self. Not only did Tiffany Winter see one of my videos. She took the time out to leave the sweetest message ever!
Do you see why she's the best?
I can't wait for the show to come back so I can see her pretty face and tell her fans once again how wonderful she is. =o)
So make sure to stay tuned for my reviews. And all of the wonderful compliments that the curvaceous, beautiful and talented Super Model, Tiffany "Sweety Pie" Winter will be receiving.
And for more Reality TV and celebrity related news, reviews, recaps opinions and more. Subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Love and Hip Hop ATLANTA - Season 3 Pre ROAST! Unreleased Season 2 Reunion - Review, Recap, Opinion
Warning, if you are sensitive to Rat roasting, do not read on! Readers discretion is strongly advised!
I was gonna review the Reunion show of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Season 2, however, my review turned into a massacre! I couldn't finish reviewing the show because I was seeing red! I decided to just go off in general. I wrote, saved and never published nor made a video for the following entry back in August of 2013.
I had to stop myself because the second Season of Love of Atlanta bored me to ad nauseum!
Joseline's accent and just, everything about the show was friggin ridiculous!
Now remember, this has been minimally edited. And it is a short, unfinished entry.
Before I even get into this. I tried to do reviews and recaps of
the individual episodes. But I was just too bored by the show to do it.
Let me take a crack at this!
Excuse me if I come across as grumpy. But
the phoniness and nastiness of these, "ratchet", people disturbs me!
This is what I wrote!
___________________________________________________________
So, the minstrel show begins, and after an introduction to all of these irrelevant nobodies. We learn that Rasheeda and and her cone headed husband, Kirk are having a little boy. Named Carter Frost. And I thought to myself, "wait a minute, isn't a cart of frost an ice cream truck?"
Random thought, I know!
Anyway!
Oprah Winfart, I mean Mona Scott, asks pretentious gold digger, Oluremi Fela Faust aka Mimi about her new breast implants. I saw what she looked like before the operation. And to be honest, I wasn't impressed at all. Not even a little tit! I mean a little bit! Anyway, she asks Mimi about her boobs and an argument ensued between Mimi and Joseline, who I affectionately refer to as GonorrRhianna! Because she looks like Rhianna and Gonorrhea blended together!
They were calling each other all kinds of nasty names. And you know what though? Mimi isn't shit but old trash, in a plastic Louis Vuitton bag. This chick is like almost half way through her forties, doing young dumb bitch shit.
Why?
Because she's stupid! She wants to be a God damned Bourgeoisie, hood rat.
She wants a "bad bitch" lifestyle and reputation, while living it up! She wants it all! But she's not really about that life. She's fart in a can! Because she's faking the funk!
The only reason why all of Mimi's friends appear to be humungous pieces of shit is because. Mimi is like, that girl who picks really shitty men to be in a relationship with on purpose! You know, so people will say, "you can do better Mimi". In other words, as long as Mimi isn't, or doesn't appear to be the biggest piece of shit in the room, then she's good!
Fucking starving con artist! You're not fooling anybody! HA HA!
Her name is Mimi right? How fucking ironic! In her mind the world revolves around her twice. Therefore her name is ME ME!
It's all about her!
Moving along!
There's main chicks, side chicks and then, theirs Traci's! And that's the chick that the guy doesn't even want at all! Not because you're a "strong black", cup of coffee! Not because of your education, your wealth, or success. No! Because of your negative qualities. Such as but not limited to. Snide remarks out of jealousy and ignorance towards women that you don't even know. And your magnetism to all things inferior.
Traci being known for saying, "popcorn hoes" is like Beyonce's entry in the dictionary for the word, "bootylicious". It's sad! And as a mother and a woman of melanin. Please grow the fuck up!
But back to Mimi! Mimi is like Christmas shopping at the dollar store. You're just doing what you gotta do until you can do better.
As a matter of fact. Mimi needs to take a yoga class. So she can pull her legs over her head and get over herself.
Champagne taste with a kool aid face bitch! She really thinks that she is so much better than everybody!I can't stand MimI!
_________________________________________________________________________
And yeah. I had to stop it there before someone shoots at me!
As you can see, the show pissed me off so badly that I turned green! And at this point I was trying to watch what I say on video.
This was right before I became the monster of a reviewer that I am! HA HA HA HA HA!
Now it's gloves off and no holds bar, UFC style reviews!
Season 3 of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is coming. And I'm coming on it!
Yeah! I'm gonna bust nuts in the faces of your favorite cast members! Better have towel a Joseline! I heard you say in your Breakfast Club interview that you don't swallow! No wonder you're so unhappy! A little vitamin C never hurt anybody! And when I say Vitamin C. I mean Vitamin Cum!
So hinge your Jaw back Joseline! I'm about to blow... all down your throat!
I'll see you next Season for the next review! Today is March 20, 2014. So, I wrote that unfinished review about 7 months ago! So don't judge me!
Don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more celebrity, and Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words,
tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Basketball Wives | LA | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out with Jackie and Brittish, and the're looking at an office space for loveoflabels.com
You know, Brittish's crappy website?
With a F rating from the Better Business Bureau!
And just like Draya's Vagina, it's a shared space! You see, that office is one of those buildings where your business rents a tiny space, and others businesses rent right next to you! And you're all up in each others business and personal space. It's like working in a cubicle, but with 1 wall instead of 3! Around a bunch of strangers!
And homeless flashers!
It's actually less of an office space and more of an off space. As in off in a corner somewhere!
Man, Brittish does everything low budget!
The 3 best parts of this scene are #1 When Jackie said that Brittish wouldn't want to hire B.A.M.! Brandi and Ariane and Malaysia to work for her scammy company. Because Jackies old gang, "The Jackets" weren't representing that flag right! And when I say, "flag". I mean their trusty symbol. The blood soaked tampon! BANG BANG!
Jackie had to kick those 3 Bandita's out for not following protocol! So she gave them a bad recommendation!
#2
Brittish said that Malaysia isn't all of that pretty and her body isn't all of that great either! LMAO! And this came out of the mouth of a chick that looks like Barney the dinosaur! Literally. That Tyranna whoress-rex need to find a cliff and take a seat.
#3
And possibly the craziest thing anybody said this whole show was thrown out in scene one! Jackie said that Draya's vagina is like an empty soda can. It's been reduced, reused and recycled. And Crushed! And at the end of the day, it's only worth 5 cents! *SPITS OUT WATER*
And to make matters worse! She said, "you cant make a Draya a house wife!"
And when I say a Draya, yes I mean a hoe! And yes she really said that!
Now we're catching up with Draya, and Malaysia at Slim Wrap! The Wrap That Works! And Draya is dressed up as a cummy, a cum covered mummy! I wonder if they warned miss Bukkake that if you get covered with man milk then wrap yourself in bandages you'll never get them off! Without losing all of your skin! But I'm sure a rich man has a fetish for that too!
Any who! Malaysia looks yummy because she's so delicious! Boy I'd stick my cock in her pit and smash Malaysia like flight MH370!
So, Draya didn't go to Jackies homo event because Jackie pissed her off! And Draya prefers to be pissed on! She said Jackie needs to get better aim when squatting!
And with that said. I was wondering why they were talking like they don't have good sense. Then I realized something! They're Dehydrated from being in bandages while working out on those stupid Ellipticals.
I knew the conversation between these birds went south with when Malaysia was like, "Girl! You look like a Kemetic, Egyptian queen, with your breast out, and being all mummified like that!"
Draya was like, "Which Egyptian queen do I look like?".
Malaysia said, "Queen Nefer-titty!"
In our next scene Malaysia is visiting Brandi And come to find out, they've known each other since Brandi was balled headed as a fuck, and dying from cancer. So, they're reminiscing about when Brandi was sick. And she had this one doctor who would always make her laugh. He would tell really lewd jokes and make fun of her cancer and call her racist names.
Some of his favorites were. Erykah Bald do! Shaolin Monkey, oh and of course
Sinead O'Colored.
You know? Anything to make a bald headed black woman smile! He had a fetish for the brownies so. He told Brandi about some fucked up fantasy about wanting to ejaculate on her head when...
Malaysia stopped her from talking and said, "Girl! That's T.M.I.!"
And Brandi is like, "Girl! I hate their news stories!"
And Malaysia is like, "Bitch, that's TMZ! T.M.I. means Too Much Information!"
And then Brandi was like, "Girl, I thought 411 information was long gone! We have Google nowadays!"
Then Malaysia said, "Girl, bye!"
Now Jackie is meeting up with her Illuminati connection.
Because she wants to sell her own brand of Cognac. So, she brought Sundy with her to tag along and learn how to be a true member of the Jackets Gang! Mmm, Hmm Sundy is a 1st degree Jacket! I heard their secret password is "Turkey Neck!"
Come to find out, the dude from the Cognac business is named Hakop Bislamyan! At first, I thought that he was the dude that took down the Twin Towers. Then I looked his name up on the, "MEET Magazine Language Translator"™ and it's Persian or Iranian, not Iraqi! . The English Translation for Hakop Bislamyan is, "When black people get the hiccups, the only thing that can stop it is candied yams" And I was like, cool! Now that's an awesome name! He must not be a racist!
If we had any doubts that Sundy is a hood rat. The Goddess of Ghetto did not disappoint us in this scene!
The hood came out when Sundy asked this question. She asked Hiccup, what Cognac was!
Or in her ghetto language, she pronounced Cognac (Con Yak) as Con Jack!
Hikap *Hiccup* said that Cognac is in the Brandy family!
And Sundy replied, "Ray-J better".
So Hiccup was like, *Hiccup* what do you mean?"
And Jackie was like, "No Sundy, Brandy is an Alcohol!"
And Sundy was like, "I bet you wouldn't call Brandy a Alcohol to her face! Especially if she's driving at you!"
SWERVE!
So, they had a taste test of different Cognac blends or whatever. Wait! Did I say taste test? They had a drinking contest! I don't know what Hikap *Hiccup* was thinking giving free liquor to hood rats.
Because these chikas were skunk as a drunk! I mean, drunk as a skunk!
I'm talking tipsy as a 3 legged table, with Brittish dancing on it!
When they were done the were walking as wobbly as Draya leaving a locker room!
So they have to come up with a catchy name for Jackies new drink. And drunk Sundy was throwing out some of the dumbest shit like, LL Cool Jack! And ConJacky Chan and KanJack West! And Jackies and *Hiccup*, almost had a Kevin Hart-aJack (Heart-Attack)
"You gon learn today!"
Now we're with Lorenzo and Brittish. And Lorenzo is at beating his meat so hard, the juice from his balls is squirting out of his asshole! And Brittish walks up and catches him!
So, Lorenzo closes his bubble butt porn on his laptop!
And his agent, Micheal Hart must be psychic! He always knows when Lorenzo is looking at porn and when he calls, he always uses the same lame joke. So, Lorenzo answers the phone and Micheal's like! "What are you doing Lorenzo? Beating around the bush" Ha ha ha! Wooo! Get it? Because Lorenzo was just beating around the bush! See, he was masturbating, and he doesn't shave down there so. HA HA! HA! Yeah! Michael Hart should leave comedy alone and just be an agent!
Anyway! Lorenzo is determined to make this Basket Ball money! Even if he has to leave the country again! Or as half breed Draya would say, "Sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do. Even if you were born a half a Jew! In other words. No one get s a free ride!"
And when I say ride, I mean riding the penis! Draya's motto since she start hooking was, "There's no animal shelter between these thighs! You gotta pay for this pussy!"
So Brandi and Malaysia get together, and they looking amazing! Their hair is looking magnificent. Outfits looking cute. In fact, Brandi's is dress is so nice that if I saw her person wearing that dress, I'd act like a cop at Barney's in Jew York City, and ask her if it's stolen! And yes, because she's black! Then I'd stop and frisk her!
Anyways! The pretty girls are going to BESO! Which is the Spanish word for "Kiss!"
And boy would I love to Beso Draya's cola!
So, Sundy, left early from her job, and judging by her outfit and height. She must be a Horse Jockey! Any who, she came to talk with the Weave Tang Clan!
Brandi said that she comes across as a Bourgeois bitch! But she's not! She's just a regular BETA bitch!
And Sundy, the alpha Bitch invites the girls to go race car driving. Because she knows a guy in the mob that can rig the car to detonate on ignition!
But they know how Philly bitches get down! So, they didn't fall for that Jawn!
And to no ones surprise Malaysia is not feeling Brittish! And no! I don't mean that she has disdain for the chubby girl Brittish! When I say she aint feeling Britihs, I mean she isn't speaking in her British accent this episode. And she didn't even eat her English muffin for breakfast either!
Now we're visiting the Lexington Social House, with Brandi and Jason Maxiell.
He's going away to play Black ball. But Brandi's creepy, perverted, serial killer looking white Dr. will be around to take GOOD care of her!
And when they were at the OBGYN, Jason was given porn to masturbate to. So that he could produce some sperm samples. Brandi said that he was looking at the pictures that she gave to him, of herself instead of watching the porn!
Nah Brandi! He wasn't looking at you.
He was looking at Draya! Like the rest of us! Light skin for the win!
Now we're with Brittish and Lorenzo.
And Lorenzo is leaving to go play Black ball, just like Jason. But Brittish is staying behind.
So, Lorenzo's agent calls again! And this time he has good news and bad news.
The good news is, he has a contract to play in Europe. The bad news is, he needs him to leave tomorrow! And as expected Brittish doesn't want that L.I.P. to go away! You know L.I.P. Live In Penis!
And Lorenzo is dumb as fuck, he is trying to say to his wife. Everything will be fine, it's gonna be okay and he mumbles and stumbles just saying that! I'm now completely sure that he lied and he doesn't play basketball and plays football instead! You know in Europe they call it Rugby, and they don't wear helmets! Explains everything!
Now, Brandi, Malaysia and Draya, aka the pretty girls are shopping at Satine.
Draya says that she is done with Jackie. And she doesn't want to get into a fight with Brittish and mess up all of that pretty! Brandi says that the only remaining real issue between the ladies is the one between Draya and Jackie! And the Jackets gang, "The Jackets", has officially disbanded! Except Sundy and Brittish.
But it's all good. Because Brittish isn't even invited!
Draya brought up a great point! Those bitches got their name, "The Jackets," because just like O Shit's baby mother, on Black Ink Crew. They like to throw jackets on bitches heads, then beat them when they can't see! They said it's, "exciting",
In fact, it's just like fucking a blind chick! She can't see you coming! Literally and figuratively!
Damn you Draya for judging other peoples fetishes!
Brandi is like, let's just give them one more chance. And Draya's all like, "Ain't no body trying to listen to Biggie right now!" Brandi was confused, so, Malaysia told her, that Draya must still be hallucinating from the mummy wrap! And Brandy is so dumb she's like "You never told me your mom used to be a rapper!"
*SCOFFS* These bitches are so dumb!
Now Jackie and Sundy are chilling by the pool, with Brandi. And for whatever reason, Sundy is sitting up there looking like an elderly homeless smurf. I swear, she must shop at thrift shops. And I'm talking the Ill Will, not the Good Will!
Sundy told Jackie that they don't need to invite Brittish on their trip to Palm Springs California.
Because they're gonna be staying in same house and hanging out with each other. And tickling each other in bath suits, like girls do at times like these! And Sundy just wants some girl booty without the drama!
Smart girl!
Jackie wants Brittish to come because, she is her second chance at having a daughter! Seeing that the other one hates her and is always sucking off 5 basketball player penis's at the same damn time. When she isn't washing strangers dishes. Or recording albums and writing books for her 1 and only fan.
Helen Keller!
And she's BDD!
Blind, deaf and dumb? Nope! Blind, Deaf and Dead!
Come to find out. Chantel saw only one album sale. And that's because she went fishing and left it on the boat! Excuse me! One album sailing! There's a difference!
Anyway! Brandi told Jackie that it's okay for her to talk with Draya, but on the side. Not in front of everybody! Like she did last time!
Then, Brandi said that if Jackie reveals potentially damaging, and sensitive information about her in front of everybody like she did to to Draya. They wont be cool anymore!
Then, Brandi told Sundy to sit out of it and chill!
And man! She's so level headed! I love it! I've been a Brandi fan from the moment that I saw her. I fucks with Brandi! All jokes aside, I love Brandi! As of right now, she's my fave!
So, Sundy says she has no beef with Draya. She has an issue with her. She doesn't say what the issue is. But she goes into a long explaining about what beef is! She's talking about kicking in doors and shooting babies in the head and shit. I'm looking at my TV. like, "Damn Sundy is an evil bitch!"
Anyway, Jackie said that the Jackets are gon jump Draya, so Brandi better just worry about herself and Malaysia because, Draya ain't even friend with her like that so. So, mind your business, basically! They are planning to provoke her so that they can fight.
The Jackets new mantra is, "Light skin, must not win!"
So, Draya and Malaysia show up. And their both wearing Daisy Dukes! And Draya has been so friendly with offering up anal sex to the world, her shorts wont stay out of her booty! She had to play tug a war to get the denim out of her ass! Funny thing about it, Draya is so hot, she even makes picking wedgies look sexy!
Chicken! It's what's for dinner!
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words, tell a fucking friend!https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
Blood Sweat and Heels | Season 1 | Episode 9 | FINALE | Heels on the Hudson | Review | Recap | Opinion
After some clips from earlier episodes in the series. The episode starts out at
with Mica and a very fat woman, Her miracle worker, I mean, make up artist, Patrece. The two are meeting up with Mica's slutty models!
The Skeletons are doing a photo shoot. And the first one is Courtney! A white woman so flat chested that she tries to be funny and cover her little nuggets. One hand on each boobie! All she needed was a rubber band!
She can wear an eye patch as a bra! She said that she once went to the store and they handed her an A cup and she said, "actually I wear an A spoon! Skank you very much"
I mean, if Melyssa's cup runnith' over in her brassier and she has a gulp of breast, Courtney has a sip of titty!
I mean her breasts are so small, when she went to get a mammogram, the Dr. checked for an Adam's Apple! She's so skinny, when she rubs her hands together, it sounds like bubble wrap popping! She's so skinny, when she goes to the beach they say forget skinny dipping. Let's go Courtney dipping!
Nah, I'm just joking! The fat bitches who watch my YouTube videos wish they looked like Courtney! HA HA!
In our next scene Melyssa is showing Lance, a potential client a nice apartment! And she is looking quite bootylicious in a tight white dress!
The rent for the place is $27,000 and her commission works like this. $27,000 Multiplied by 12 months, for a 1 year contract equals, $324,000, divided by 15% equals $48,600 dollars!
Man! I wish I would have gotten into Real Estate years ago! Oh well! Melyssa would be a great teacher! I guess I'll have to ass, I mean ask her! For some lessons or something!
Anyway! Melyssa is working on commissions only. And the client appears to be more concerned with her tight white dress and big sexy biracial booty than the apartment!
He ends up leaving empty handed. Well, except for his parting gift! Some hair in a can! After a quick Masonic hand shake. Captain comb over leaves and goes home to masturbate and think about what he just saw!
Now we're at Mica's apartment in Harlem when her gay boyfriend walks in.
And we're at Daisy's and Geneva's houses too. We're jumping back and forth between the places. And the ladies are reading their invitations to the boat party
Mica said that she used to running from her problems. And being on a boat with them is gonna be odd because, her skinny ass can't swim that damn good! Terry is very supportive of her! He told her that as skinny as she is, she'll be fine! Pirates love skulls and bones!
Now we're with Demetria and she's doing a photo shoot for her second book. Which is titled. "Don't Waste Your Pretty". Judging by her looks, she needs to take her own advice!
Anyway, she's getting her fat face painted on. She claims that she hasn't eaten solid food in a long time. Well except dry coffee! And she's been drinking hot water! So pretty much, this hot head is a human peculator! I'd think will all of that caffeine, this low energy slug be bouncing off of the walls like Daisy! But caffeine apparently has not effect on her! I blame the fat!
Speaking of fat. Her humungous friend that always has to out do her was like, "Coffee? Girl, I onced starved my self by going for weeks on sneezy!" Then the skinny one was like, "girl I'm a breatharian. I don't eat at all!"
They edited out her dead home girl, the skeleton. She rolled out with sign on her rip cage, and her hands over her mouth and the sign said "top this bitches! I'm dead!"
Fucking show off!
So, when Demetria started writing she sacrificed a lot of things, relationships, work outs, and even cats!
But, Anyway! Demetria loves the photos, she just want to Photoshop out her fat! Which is so much easier than proper diet and exercise! What an extremest! She eats like a pig and doesn't work out. Then punishes herself by eating nothing but coffee and sperm!
What a fucking lunatic!
Now we're at Flywheel, and Brie is working out! I knew her fit and petite self had to work out!
So Geneva and Daisy come are their too.
they're doing this for charity. Called, "Half in 10". Or some crap like that! You see, poverty levels are at 22 percent for people who are under the age of 18, and they are going to bring those levels down to 11 percent in 10 years! By riding Bicycles in a fitness class!
Yeah! Don't ask me how it works. Because I don't know!
So, Geneva AKA Snuffleupagus, doesn't want to meet up with the girls on the boat trip because she doesn't like Mica.
And Daisy said that Geneva acts like a nasty attitude having middle aged
black woman, who lost her husband, that wants to look at Daisy's butt!
And I began clapping! Yeah Daisy! There's plenty of women like that on the internet! It's always a Geneva who leaves a nasty comment on my YouTube videos!
The highlight of the scene is when Daisy confessed that she was using the bicycle seat to masturbate! She said that spinning is her sex, because she can feet it in her flower pot.
Hey Daisy, get it how you live! I love this crazy bitch!
So, now we're at Melyssa's Apartment in the Financial District of Jew York city!
And Melyssa's mom and aunt come through. And her white momma can barely sit down before she grabs a beer and starts calling Melyssa a whore.
I feel like I'm watching an Episode of 106 and Trailer Park, on M.E.T. Mixed Entertainment Television! And don't dare act like ya'll don't watch it too!
Their were only 2 good things about this scene. #1 The world now knows what I already knew. Which is that Melyassa Ford is the poster child for race mixing done right! Her momma and daddy have some couture Jean-etics! (genetics)
And #2
When her mom asked her if she is still failing miserably financially. The entre-prewhore in Melyssa makes her want to keep striving for independence. And when I say independence. I mean she is still waiting on her rich man! And well, I still didn't get this money just yet Melyssa but when I do!
Anyway, her mother told her that she needs to get a stable job and hurry and have kids before her eggs go rotten! She's turning 38 this year for God sakes!
Now we're at Demetria's Apartment with Demteria and Gregg!
Gregg is concerned with his girlfriend going on this boat trip. Black people have a tendency to get tied up on trips like these, and then they don't come back! But they always find work when they reach their destination! Anyway! He doesn't for her to get turned out in some lesbian orgy type situation. And does he want for her to get beaten up either!
In our next scene we visit Daisy's apartment.
And she is packing gifts with her two assistants, to give to the ladies son their boat trip!
I'm telling you, Daisy has the perfect name. She's one sweet chick! I just wish that she'd stop with the loud collars! The only thing louder than her wardrobe is her personality! I mean, a bright orange dress and that frigging pink lipstick? She must think that she's Barbie! But as black as she is with that pink lipstick, she looks more like Bar-B-cue!
Now we're in a cab with Melyssa and Demetria. Melyssa says to chill with calling Mica a drunk
because if she has to, Melyssa is gonna snatch that nappy mop on Demetria's head, and ring her brains through her nose holes!
And Mica and Terry are in their car. And Mica says that she just wants a simple apology from Demon-etria for pointing and saying, "Ha ha you're daddy died! You drunk!"
Now the ladies are arriving at the boat at Lincoln Harbor. Geneva can't even get on the boat good and she's speaking about white Jesus and how she wants to bring a Christian crusade of murder and torture, to this boat ride!
Geneva aka Cortez, just last week was screwing her friend, taking it up the butt and letting him piss all over big ass eyes. now she is Jesus in the flesh, last weak she had Jesus in her flesh! And when I say Jesus I mean, the PENIS!
Look, Popeye! You weren't thinking about reaching heaven when Wayne was crucifying your vagina. You weren't trying to reach heaven. just an orgasm! Who is this hypocrite kidding? The only congregating you do is at Churches Chicken!
I can see her now at the Church dinner. Eating out of the collections plate!
No! Better yet! I can see her on a diet now. Talking about, "it died!"
I mean Geneva's eating healthy would last as long as bottle of Visine around them big ass eyes!
On day one of her diet she'd be telling her friend. "Girl! I'm on that new Weight Watchers! Every morning I get on the scale and watch my weight go up!"
"But I'm tryna eat healthy! Just vegetables!" Then she'll be with her girlfriend at the buffet like. I'm just gonna have the Cesar salad! Then she sees her salad, gives up and goes back to meat!
Fat ass! Corn beef is not a vegetable! And 8 slices of Apple Pie is not a daily serving of fruit!
I can see her now! I bet at her funeral, they're gonna say stuff like. "Geneva the big eyed Diva was the type of Elephant to give you her shirt off her back. But she'd take her twinkles out the pocket first"
Geneva lets the women know about her and Wayne.
And Daisy says. "Yeah! That's why she was mad, this beached whale had sand in her bathing suit! And when I say sand, I mean Va-dry-na! Dry vagina!"
So the women get all dolled up and then they sit down to eat dinner.
And Daisy gives the ladies their gifts! And even gets a kiss in return from Brie!
NOTE TO SELF: Get Brie a gift to get a kiss! And when I say a "gift". I mean my dick in a box! With a bow on balls!
Anyway, as expected, the ladies love the gifts. In fact, this ac t of kindness made Demetria finally figure out that Daisy is a sweaty pie! Aww, she must have put an Afro pick in her box!
And a gift to Krispy Kreme!
So Mica starts being questioned about being a slutty, Tragic Mulatto.
And whether or not she is just an alcohol or if she is popping Molly's on the side too!
And Mica has excuses for everything! When it comes to the party that she violently flashed her vagina at. She said she was merely pulling her dress because she had gas! She needed to either fan it or melt in her own funk! And she decided to live!
And as for the time that she ran up in Bries house to rip Geneva's eyes out and make Spaghetti and eyes balls? Well, you see, what had happened was. They were on their way to dinner and Demetria said she was famished from only eating coffee so, Geneva's eyes were supposed to be an appetizer!
Well Mica. You're not rocking with the "white is right" crowd babe! Those excuses will get you no were!
However Mica does brings up a great point! And that's the fact that Demetria is a royal bitch!
She also feels like Demetria is being extremely judgmental. And before she can finish ripping Demon-eatia a new one.
Demetria pulls a Kanye West, snatches her Microphone and says that she thinks that Mica has split personalities! Then said, "Wu Tang is for the children! Suuuuu!"
Whatever that means!
So brie says that yeah, mica is a sloppy drunk!
And mica who is nearly in tears, apologize profusely! I mean she even appologized for slavery!
Right there on that boat! And like she said, Demetria whooped her white ass like Django unchained!
So, Daisy says that calling Mica an alcoholic isn't cool. Because those are strong words. And there's power in the tongue. In fact, she's been with a woman before. Melysssa.. So yeah! There's power in the tongue!
Geneva tells Daisy to shut up because she wasn't there.
And Melyssa just sat there drunk, thinking, I bitch a wish would! Yeah, she gets dyslexic when she gets drunk!
Anyway, the white girl got up and ran off crying! She probably went and drowned her sorrows in more alcohol! As we know, white people can drink a fish under the table! That's the one thing they're good for.
Now in the closing scene, the ladies are at the edge of the boat like that movie, The Titanic.
They're watching fire works. and they're pretty optimistic about the second season!
And getting to know each other and what not. In fact, it's time for the lesbian orgy at the bowels of the ship! Damn, wish i was there! Fish is the healthiest meat that you can eat!
And I'll leave you with these parting words. A wise man once said. "Great minds, think like dykes".
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
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The Real Housewives Of Atlanta | Season 6 | Episode 18 | Flirting with Disaster | Review | Recap | Opinion
The episode starts out at the El Dorado Royale in Mexico.
Mr. Lawrence and Kenya are sitting outside enjoying a delicious meal.
They are discussing Porsha and Kordell. And Kenya is sticking to her story. The one that states that Kordell is a homo and Porsha is his, "beard"! And "beard" is a slang term for a woman or man who is in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex as a means to fool others into thinking that their partner is straight!
Anyway! When Kenya is bashing my sweet, adorable Porsha. I had to stop and ask myself this question! Who would know Porsha's marriage better? Prosha? Or an over the hill, former model. With an African magician, whose been doing a life long disappearing act nicknamed, Harry Hu-dingy? Aka Metallic Black! Because he's so dark his shadow called him a "nigger!"
Anyway she still saying that Apollo wanted to cheat on Phaedra by sleeping with her.
Which is believable. But why are you gossiping with a crazy gay guy who demands, almost at gun point, to be refereed to as a "Ms."?
These two are full of drama.
Speaking of drama! Everybody piles up in SUV's to go visit some Underground Caverns.
Kenya the cave dweller is going to introduce the group to her relatives, which are literally wild animals!
So, on the way to Kenya's old neighborhood, the cast is talking about the resort they are staying at. And the showers are apparently outside. And Porsha is concerned with indecent exposure. And of course Gregg, the old pervert tells her to, "show what you got!" And to go "Bless someone!" He sounds like Adontis! You know, the Preacher from the church of booty and twerking? The one that worships big butt women? Yeah! Just like that! And this is why even Christians don't like Christians!
So in the other S.U.V., Kandi and Todd are being question about their marraige by the group.
The others are trying to force them to hurry up and get married already!
And Peter Le Pew, the black Skunk! Just can't keep his big Jawmacian mouth shut.
Not Jamaican, but Jawmaican!
And He points at Kandi and says. You're gonna keep bull shitting around and then Toddler is gonna get frustrated and throw a tantrum. Then the inevitable is gonna happen! Yep! He's gonna get with Carmon and you, Kandi are gonna die in a house full of cats with your crazy mother!
And Todd gave Peter that look like, "I see Cynthia is still not putting out."
I will say this in Todd and Kandi's defense. They are afraid that if they were to get married. Their wedding will turn into a funeral. Because Mama Joyce might shoot up the place!
So, that's a good enough reason to live in sin, and fornicate, and live!
So the group arrive at some sort of cage less zoo! And theirs monkey's and even an Anaconda! Yes! The world's largest snake! And as expected Kenya is up for the challenge!
I'm in trouble because, Porsha must like em small! Because she was so frightened that Toddler and Kandi had to walk with her just to go past it!
So the filthy Mexican's who are a lot like those stinking Chinese people. Picked up the snake and secretly brought it to their restaurant. The cast will be eating it later, and thinking that they're eating, "chicken". *SCOFFS*
So the group walk through a raggedy cave. And it looks like Kenya's womb! Dry, hollow and hanging! And everybody's been in it!
So, they walk around some more and they find a pond in the cave! And Kenya and Apollo can't wait to hop in!
Kenya gave Apollo that, "It's Showtime" look! And yeah, he is about to go in!
Peter isn't getting in the pool because Cynthia still didn't let him hit it. And his balls are an anchor! So Peter is not about to drown in filthy Mexico!
So, Phaedra and Porsha got in the pond next. And after some brief swimming.
Kenya walked all of that booty up the stairs and when I say stairs I mean the stares from Apollo's eyes! He can see into her future the way he was looking at that chocolate crystal ball!
He looked down the stairs to make sure Phaedra was distracted, then the daggers in his eyes
You'd think this fool had X-Ray vision the way he was looking at that ass!
So yeah! We all know that after seeing her look at Apollo when they were going swimming. And his sneaky stares at her when she was walking up the stairs! Yeah! They both want each other! Bad! The sexual tension is building! I wonder whats gonna happen now!
So, the girls and the homo Mr. Lawrence decide to go on a walking excursion!
Kenya wants to become fertile. So she invites all of the women except for two!
The only ones who are not invited are Phaedra and Porsha because according to Sugar Shade Mosley, They didn't support her efforts to get pregnant!
So they have a pool party for 4 instead! Phaedra, Porsha, Porhsa's drink and Porsha's hat!
How do you support a 40 something year old Toy-Ho-Ta, that's been drilled more times than BP Oil, in her efforts to get pregnant by the Ghost of the Invisible Man?
Are they supposed to grow a penis and bust nuts up in Kenya's asshole for her?
The worst part about it is, my boo thing Porsha suffered a miscarriage in the past. So being invited onto a fertility trip would a great bonding experience for her and Kenya and a thoughtful, heart warming gesture! But no! Kenya is a cold hearted snake.
So, NeNe kisses Gregg goodbye. And I thought that was a sweet thing to do! But then I realized something! That was her way of saying that he's so old, he can die any minute!
SHADY!
Anyway, they arrive at the Naay Spa, The Mayan Vision! And I'm thinking. I didn't know that Nay Nay, NeNe's drag queen alter ego, had it's own spa!
So while their there. Kenya starts crying and basically repenting to Lucifer. So she can become fertile again!
And a Shaman appears out of thin air! And he's a fat bumbling fool! Somebody needs to watch this guy, like when I go to white stores! I swear little George Zimmer-witch over here is the Mexican Chris Farely!
So, the Shaman blows some smoke out of his ass, and farts, and supposedly Kenya's eggs are gonna pump out some babies now! I doubt it! But we'll see! She better have a receipt for that bull shit!
If hot air made you pregnant, Kenya would have more burnt babies than the Holocaust!
I mean, Kenya is like a sauna, full of hot air, and old wrinkly rich men come 4 at a time inside her to sit, relax and forget about work! And their wife! And read the news paper!
So the Shaman continues his scamming ritual! As he picks up some grass and starts rubbing it on the women's breasts! WOAH! So in order to go around groping random women. All you gotta do is claim to be a Shaman, pick up a patch of grass and then smear their white shirts with it? Now, that's a scam if I ever sawed one! What would putting leaves on their breasts do? They ain't Eve and this is not the Garden! And your name may be (Hey zues) Jesus, but you're not Jesus!
Anyway, the Charlatan, "Shaman", handed Kenya some inexpensive, clearance rack statue from Home Cheapo! Yes not Home Depot, but Home Cheapo! Hey, it's Mexico! Don't judge them!
So he hands it to her and says, "Hold this, it will help you to get pregnant!" But, She's gonna be pissed when she finds out that that resort has a "you touch it you bought it" policy ! That thing cost 15 Mexican cents to make and now she's gonna be stuck with a $100,000 bill, and a Mexican curse to boot!
So then they sit in a cheap looking sauna, type stone igloo looking thingy. And the Shaman pours some dirty Mexican water on some coals and they chant some crap in Spanish that is supposed to help Kenya get pregnant! So, I heard the Mexican say something hilarious! He poured the water on the coals. Then he said, "Ma Negra tay!"
Then he kept screaming, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Then he ran outside, whipped out his cell phone,and called the manager and said, "We got a Ma Negra Tay!" And his Gringo manager was like. "Jesus, what does that mean?"
And the Shaman was like. "It means, Fuck, I put too much Now she's gonna pop out babies like that cursed statue! It's about to look like Africa up in here! It already smells like Africa!"
So, the manager told him to just walk back in there and pretend that everything is fine! And that he just ran out cursing because he was so happy for her! She'll be pregnant in no time!
Now the guys, Peter, Todd and Apollo get together to go smoke a Cigar at some place.
And Todd is distraught about his future mother in law wanting him out of the picture. And I don't mean Photoshop either! I talking that hit that she put out on him!
And Kenya and Mr. Lawrence pop up. And of course the homo wants to put a cigar in his mouth. He had his clipped a long time ago! So Kenya dips her Cigar in Todd's Congac be cause she likes her phallus's wet!
Now they begin talking about sucking and pulling on cigars! And Apollo wants Kenya so bad that he can barely think straight! She gets up to go get another drink and BAM! Just like the cave scene. He's all up in the booty!
They say that before you eat with your mouth, you eat with your eyes! And Apollo's eyes are digging in and having seconds! All of that eye candy has him feasting his eyes on a buffet of booty!
He better watch out though! When Phaedra finds out, it's gonna be his Last Supper! Boy oh boy! Apollo the convict is on Death Row and he doesn't even know it! I hope you enjoyed your last meal buddy! Because Phaedra is gonna give you the electric chair!
So Kenya and Dead Man Walking decide to get some Tequila at the bar, and sit and talk about who wants to screw who more! And Todd is Chaperoning because he doesn't want the Cigar shop to turn into a porno film! We all know that Kenya can smoke with all 3 of her holes! And blow smoke rings with them to boot!
And Apollo was like, Toddler, get your little ass out of here! Let the grown folks talk!
So Kenya wants for Apollo to be her friend! She is all like, "Look, my beef is with the wife not you, so let's be cool!" And Apollo is all like. Look, she wanted to be more than friends. Because he could have smashed a long time ago, and he sticks to that story.
Crazy thing about it is Kenya didn't confirm nor deny that statement!
And Apollo is telling her about how fine she is. In fact, he told her more than once that she is hot shit! And he didn't jump up on it because his wife and family mean more to him then a fling!
So, Kandi walks in looking cute. Then Phaedra walks in looking...
bloated!
So, Phaedra walks over to Kenya and Apollo. And Apollo raises his hands, and then freezes!
The same thing he does every time he get's arrested!
But this time, his arresting officer is gonna give him a Lethal Injection!
And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment
below
and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and
opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle
Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words,
tell a fucking friend! https://www.youtube.com/user/meetmagazineviews/videos
