Love And Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 10 | RED ALERT | Review | Recap | Opinion

Love And Hip Hop | New York | Season 4 | Episode 10 | RED ALERT | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

The show starts out at the True Hair Company in Midtown NYC.
Yandy, K. Michelle and Tara are meeting up to give Tara an extreme makeover! And when I say extreme, I mean extreme in the worst way! Now why would she
want to make drastic changes to her appearance? Because she is going on a, "date" with one of the twins that she meant at her acting audition last episode.
She refers to this encounter as a, "date" in quotations "|" because, quotations look like labia lips. In reality, the reason why she's going on this, "date" is to get some dick! Like I said before, when women move on to new dick, they change their hair and clothing. Men, you've been warned!

So, Yandy brainstorms and comes up with the terrible idea of, Tara dressing up as a trashy version of Heidi Klum. Which is hilarious because Heidi is a piece of trash already! So Tara throws on this long blonde wig, and before she can get the mop on her head good. She starts going into full fledged Miley Cyrus pancake twerking mode! I swear, she had that thing on for under one minute, and began shaking her little ass! And yes, between the stupid looking wig, and that flat back, she looked like a turtle.

Which is appropriate because Yandy was dressed like a villain from a cartoon anyway. I swear this Yandy Smith bitch can't dress to save her life! In an earlier episode she looked like Sho Nuff from the Last Dragon. And this episode Yandy is dressed like an evil wrestler! She has on these Satanic shoulder pads and a black paisley bandanna design on her dress! And this is the person that Tara trusts to give her fashion advice? I guess she'll hire Dog mouthed Amina Buddafly to be her dentist next too right?

In our next scene. Rich Dollaz hops out of his car with all blue on, looking like an undercover cop. He has to go and visit his Mom, Jewel Dollaz at her house in New Jersey. And Jewel is washing off some fruit, yet she doesn't tell us what she's about to do with it! Hey she isn't married you know!

So, Rich is crying to his mother about Erica Mena. And his mother lets him know that he needs to tuck is dick up in his ass, like Nya Lee! Because, Erica is beautiful, yeah, but she isn't someone to bring home to mother. So, focus on business and grow up! That's right Ms. Jewel! When you aren't shoving carrots up your crumbled ass from the skinny end, you give some great advice!

Anyway, Rich has an up coming modeling event. And a lot of the contacts that he has made in the modeling world come from his relationship with Erica Mena.
But regardless. Jewel tells Rich that he's weak and pathetic, and an alcoholic!
Oh well, I guess we'll have to see what happens with this mess.

Now were at, the Star Scott Residence in New Jersey. Tahiry is visiting Rashidah Ali with the other bridesmaids for a dress fitting, for Rashidah's wedding. No words on whether Rashidah is marrying a woman, or if Rashidah is marrying fellow man! Hopefully it's not a gay wedding, I'd like to see Rashidah marry a woman like all other men should do!

 Tahiry tells Rashidah that Joe Budden is still posting women's butts on instagram. And Rashidah lets her know that, Tahiry has turned her butt into a business! And that the way that Tahiry treats her own ass as a product, what does she expect from Joe? Then Rashidah goes on to let her know that her whorish actions from her 20's carrying on into her 30's may be why Joe Budden is doing the crazy things that he does. I mean what kind of man would ever take Tahiry, the door to door butt sales woman seriously?

Rashidah even goes unto tell Tahiry the total truth about herself. According to Rashidah, Tahiry has attention issues and daddy issues. Which explains why she is in a 9-10 year long on and off relationship with a down low guy like Joe Budden! Anyway, Tahiry can't handle the truth, so she got up and ran out of the house.

In our next scene, we visit True Sound Lounge in Soho NYC.
Rich Dollaz new model Jessica Santiago has a photo shoot with Black Men Magazine. And thirsty Rich has already smashed more than once! The funny thing about this scene is seeing him attempt to talk, "game" to this woman. He sounds and looks so pathetic. I'm talking Native American, Thanksgiving corny.

But I love how Jessica makes a whore gesture. When she's talking to Rich, she sticks her tongue out. A subliminal whore gesture for sluts who have oral fixations. I'm not mad at her! I doubt many viewers noticed but, she is a Dollaz Unlimited Model. And that spells dum (dumb)! But without the B, as in so dumb, that you can't even spell dumb!

Anyway, my main issue with Rich Dollaz is his awkward and thirsty behavior around women. He reached out and poked this models titty! I mean, who does that? Whenever Rich gets around women he looks as about as awkward as a dike eating a hot dog! If he didn't have money, he wouldn't touch pussy at a petting zoo. MEOW!


Now we arrive at Hollywood Stunts in Brooklyn. Boring K. Michelle and even more boringer (it's a word if I say so!) Tara are meeting up with the twin actors Aaron and Andrew for a stunt class. And K. Michelle has the nerve to claim that this is some Beyonce stuff right here!. Dear K. Michelle! Beyonce doesn't know who you are, nor does she care! You are a reality TV. show slut, on a show with 4-5 million viewers plus an episode. Whose album only hit number 2! Beyonce threw an album out on the internet and shot to number 1 with no self promotion other than posting an itunes link on her twitter! So, stop mentioning people who are bigger than you!

Anyway, K. Michelle, being the thirsty, Country, butter drinking whore that she is. Asks Andrew to take his top off. And like a true down low brother, when he takes his shirt off, he's covered in tattoos and has his pants sagging. *snaps* I swear! Black bitches are AIDS magnets.

Anyway, Tara is so thirsty for new penis that she jumps from a 20 foot platform just to impress twin cupcake over there! Apparently this guy was impressed! Tara and Aaron kissed each other on the mouth! And yes, it was completely awkward!
It looked like her first kiss! Someone needs to tell Tara that kissing penis and kissing lips require two different techniques.

Now we are at the Blew Smoke Cigar room in Brooklyn.

Peter Gunz is letting Rich Dollaz know that he should have taken the easy route the day that Erica threw a plate at him, and he threw a glass back at her. And by easy route, I mean doing the easiest thing a person could ever do when encountering Erica Mena, which is to be the bigger person.

Off topic, Rich has a drink as usual. Fucking alcoholic! His prostate must look like pasta! I bet his piss smells like gasoline! Anyway.

Peter feels that he made the wrong move by letting that disease get under his skin! And when I say disease, I mean, Erica Menagitis.
Anyway, the real reason why they did this scene together is because
 Peter needs sandwich money. And Rich is the hand that feeds him. He came by to say, "sorry" and to get some work from Rich. Seeing that nobody needed to get blown away at the moment. Rich let's him know that he has a Dollaz Unlimited Models launch event. And he is willing to hire that sorry Peter for a DJ'ing job! Peter kisses Riches feet for saving the day again!

 In the next scene. We visit Negro Claro in Washington Heights NYC.
For the record, Negro Claro is Spanish for "Cleo Petra was a Black woman".
Anyway, Joe Budden came up with a silly idea. Meet up with Lexie, Tahiry's fat sister, butter her big ass up and get her to help him to convince Tahiry to say yes when he pops the question. And when I say, "the question". I don't mean, the question of whether or not Tahiry will continue to keep his homosexual, drag queen lifestyle secret!

Anyway, to make a long story short. Lexie finds it hard to believe that Joe Budden is finally ready to settle down with a female. And after a tiny bit of convincing. She agrees to not tell Tahiry about this meeting. And she reluctantly gave him her blessing. Yada Yada Yada!

So, now where at W.i.P. in Hudson Square, NYC.
Dollaz Unlimited Models is having their launch party. Peter is Djing. And Rich walks up and introduces him to his first model, *whistles* Jessica Santiago.
In the meanwhile, Tara shows up with her new penis, Aaron! And she is dressed up in a long blonde wig, a white jumper and high heeled shoes that have her walking she just got fucked by a horse, HEAD! Anyway, she looks 200% ridiculous. She looks like Shitty Minaj! And she can barely get into the club to greet Yandy and she's already making a flat ass of her self by twerking! Yeah, the chick dressed like Halle Berry in BAPS is twerking her paper thin ass, embarrassing her date and all! I'm just glad they told us what it was that she was doing. Because when she started, "twerking" I thought she just had gas, and a wedgie!

So, where would Tara get such a stupid idea like dressing up as a barnyard prostitute from? Yandy of course! The queen of costumes! People are so busy looking at Tara looking like, "Whose this super hero looking bitch? And how is a flat ass a super power? Does it deflect bullets? Does she transform into a wall? Does it print receipts?"

They were too busy saying stuff like this to notice the skirt that Yandy is wearing. She had on a fur skirt made of so many cute dead animals, I can never watch a Disney movie again! You ruined my childhood bitch!
If you really wanna know what the Fox Says. He says, "take me off this tacky Heffer!"

But back to Tara, not only is she dressed like Halloween in Hell, the bitch has about as much rhythm as 3 legged washing machine. Tara can't dance on beat to a skipped record. She reminds me of that one family member that we all have. You know, the one on Meth, crack, coke, or some other hell of a drug? The one that embarrasses the whole family at the family reunion. You know. The one that does their little, "signature move", where they turn around and then by the time they turn back around, everyone has left and their dancing by themselves. Yeah that one!

Anyway, here's a prediction. Mark my words, Yandy will be really cool with Amina in the future. And possibly have a falling out with Tara. I can understand her letting her, "friend" wear that tacky outfit because Yandy walks around looking like a blind man who got dressed in the dark. But that wig! I mean, I hate weave, and all . But I must admit. That Yandy chick has the tightest weave game of all time! That shit looks amazing. I have always been the type of guy to want to throw a hair hat in the sky like a graduation. But Yandy's is almost acceptable. And with weave that nice, you let your, "girl" dress up like that. That's a set up of some sort.

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, if Yandy  in fact wasn't setting Tara up on some shady shit. Then Tara must have been dressing like this to disguise her self, so that she can spy on Peter. Going incognegro is one thing. But, if the cameras are all on you, it's a dead giveaway to who you are. Plus Peter knew that she'd be there because, Yandy would be there, Yandy is Tara's only female friend, and they are both on the same TV show. Duh! Simple mathematics by the way of, Peter! Tara is no where near as, "smart" as she thinks that she is.

I just find it to be funny that Yandy and Peter are cousins, and here Yandy is trying to help Tara find new men to mash her guts to goo! Via her tighter hole! If anyone needs to move on from their currently relationship, it's Yandy! Her little pussy is so depressed and lonely, it has her trying to get everyone around her laid! Take your own advice Yandy and get yourself a scratching post.


So Erica allegedly found out about this event on Instagram. She wasn't invited, yet she shows up announced, dressed up in all black everything to boot! I'm talking black hair, black dress, blag bag and black soul! And she is looking for her black cock, aka Rich Dollaz!

When she finds him, seeing that the show is fake, she roles up right when he's kissing his new sexy model jump off. And Erica's shady, nasty mouth has Rich dunking his sagging face into his alcohol! But forget all of that! Erica has the nerve to talk badly about Jessica Santiago having a mangled mouth. And with me being a man, I can tell you one thing about a pretty girl with a messy mouth. If you see a girl who is a 7 out of 10 or hotter, with a mouth that looks like she's been sucking on a hot brick! If she's a good catch other than having teeth like a boxer with no arms. You better wife her! Here's why!  That yuk mouth is like that because, can suck on a quarter and stretch the face! Trust me!

Erica used to be a ball biter herself. Nowadays she's experimenting with women. But like most so called, "lesbians" she deep down inside craves the sausage and eggs! And Erica has a funny tooth in her mouth, so she needs to stop! She sucked a career out of Riches nuts and lined her stomach with it. So fuck out of here!
Just remember Erica, without make up, plastic surgery and men that will fuck you for a job. You'd be homeless, and living in the box next to Peter. So be a grateful cunt and not a spiteful one.

Anyway, Erica walks away and goes to the bar. Rich follows her like the lost little puppy dog without a tag that he is! And Erica let him know that she knows that Rich has smashed Jessica. Yada Yada Yada, Rich gets caught up in the moment and asks Erica for a kiss. And with the magic of fake television, Jessica walks up behind him with perfect timing to catch it. And after some words are exchanged between the women, Erica throws her drink into Jessica's face! Security thankfully broke things up pretty quickly.

And, Richard is having himself a good old time! He loves endangering women! What a business man! Anyway, somebody needs to throw a drink on Erica, so her makeup can stream down her face and we can see the ogre that she is underneath it all.  So, Rich being the thirsty clown that he is blames Jessica, not Erica. Erica let's Rich know that Jessica, in her not so humble opinion, is an Erica Mena wanna be! And if Rich wanted a fake Erica, she might have lent him Cynthia Santana for 24 hours.  Talk about the truth coming out when you're angry! This psycho path, fake lesbian just admitted to Cyn being a pawn in her game! Anyway, she let's Rich know that either he will bow down to her evil and do as she says, or leave her alone. Then the Gargoyle storms off taking her evil presence with her! Erica has the debil in her! She needs jebus!

What I find ironic is that Rich was just yelling at Erica about being a psychopath and fighting with everyone. Then when Erica, who is signed to Rich Dollaz as an employee, picks a fight with his newest employee, it makes his dick so hard he can club a baby seal to death with it? Okay!

In our next scene, Yandy is in Midtown New York, with a big bald headed, gay beaver looking mother fucker in a cheap jacket. I mean, her directer Noel, which spells Leon backwards. And Rich Dollaz walks up in there wearing a burgundy blanket with a sweater on top. To match the leather bedding that Yandy is wearing. She looks like a Karate couch, a Kung Fu Futon or some shit!

Anyway, Yandy lets Rich know that she wants to begin looking outside of New York for talent and she wants to lock down a distributor for their record label as well. Rich totally agrees and the alcoholic has a drink to that! And he tells Yandy that he thinks that he is ready to wrestle with an alligator, I mean begin an actual committed relationship with Erica. He just has to send Cynthia the wet back, away in a chipotle canoe.

 In our next scene, we visit Joe Budden's house in Edgewater New Jersey. He's there with Mr. Flawless, no homo! They're picking out an engagement ring for Tahiry. And Flawless *snaps* made Budden *snaps twice* a custom black box which was too large for a ring! It was probably better suited for a ring, necklace and bracelet set. If not, it would work perfectly for a coffin for Saigon.

So Lexie shows up wearing the ugliest blonde hair do. Wait, what is it with black bitches with blonde hair? Hey, if you wanna look like a rotten banana, do you!
Anyway, she is dressed like Missy! She has on this fugly black and white outfit with these big round bolts on her collar. Looking like a sofa! And she's wearing stockings with timberland boots! She's giving me gay construction worker all the way!

 Anyway, Lexie loves the ring, and her crush on her sisters on and off again boyfriend is apparent. If Joe never smashed, he could have right then and there.


 In our next scene we visit Mellisime in Midtown New York City.
Rich is finally telling Erica how he truly feels. But whatever he's selling she isn't buying. She told him that after the other night with Jessica, she's officially over him. Rich continues to drown his sorrows in alcohol as he was drinking in this scene as usual. And the scene ends with a man walking out and Erica crying, which is the story of her life. This is why she took the lesbian route. But she will soon find out that the problem in her relationships is her!

In our final scene, Joe Budden is suited up in a Tuxedo, sitting in a limousine holding a red box. I thought that the only thing that it would be useful for at that size, is to store Peter Gunz belongings or Erica Mena' s dignity! Then I realized that Tahiry's ring is in there. That's if she accepts it of course. Hmm! Cheddar cheese!

So Tahiry is standing out in Time Square in the cold, with nothing to keep her warm except her hefty forehead and her ten gallon hair hat! Now it might be freezing, but Tahiry still has her back peeking out underneath her shirt! Now that's wife material right there! *Clears throat* You were right about this chick Rashidah!

So Joe calls up Tahiry and after a corny conversation between the 2, with dialogue exchanged that I wouldn't repeat, even if I was getting paid to do so.
He tells her to "look up"! And similar to the cheesy slide show that Peter had for Amina, Joe has a video on the side of  a building for Tahiry. With different people holding cards with words that explain what a relationship is supposed to be. Including words like, a relationship is supposed to be, an Elmo chain smoking pretty good rapper, and a booty model annoying the world for 4 seasons then getting the boot on the 5th!

Allow me to dream!

The hidden gem, or Easter egg in this scene is. When Joe appears on the video holding up a sign which reads, "I HAVE A QUESTION...", there's a billboard to the left sideof the screen, and it's an advertisement for the Lion King! Get it? Because Joe is full of shit! HA HA!

Anyway, he pops up on Tahiry like he always does, looking happier than a Sesame Street character. But the Cigarette Monster was cut off by editing. So we'll find out next week how Tagary, I mean Tahiry, said no to a marrying a gay man! Yep! I smell a beard shaving coming!

 We only have 2 more episodes before the reunion. So let me know below whether or not I should review it! I will be back for episode 11, which is titled "put a ring on it" and episode 12 which is titled, "all good things".


See you  next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on facebook, twitter, goggle plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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