The Real Housewives of Atlanta | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Peaches Divided | Review | Recap | Opinion
Episode 13 review.link here.
http://meetmagazine.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-6.html
So, the last review ended when Apollo was doing what a convict like himself is used to. Getting in another mans ass! He had Brandon held down, while he was having his way with him! But the crowd broke it up before Apollo could get Brandons pants down! Luckily he is not a sagger!
And NeNe let them know that this is about talking and asking questions. And having a good time! Not about fighting with fistess! Yeah, not fists but fistess! And, I know that NeNe is from New York but, she moved down to Atlanta Georgia and well, this is what living in the south does to your brain and cognitive abilities. Their really is retardation juice in the municipal water supply in the south of North America. Just saying! I mean, fistess? Fistess sounds like a lesbian club. So I have no idea where the man in the wig got that one from!
So, my boo thang Porsha has a brain like a 1980's Apple computer. You know like the ones that they had in school, back in the day? Yeah! A slow ass computer in the 100% digital world that we live in! It took her a while to digest what was going on.
However, when she figured it out, she got up, and took her cute sister with her! Porsha, being the adult in the room, didn't want any parts in this foolishness. She felt that they could have communicated with each other better!
And when this mess was going on, Lort! Jesus (Lord) She saw the debil (Devil) in these peoples faces! And before she had to pull an exorcist, and starting sprinkling holy water on everybody by pissing on them to put out the fire in their hearts. She ran with her sister up out of there! That's right Porsha! Take the higher route. My hoe-dar goes haywire whenever I see you, and with you being a Christian, you gotta kiss white Jesus's ass and get brownie points somehow. Who knows, he just might let you into Heaven. Nah, I'm kidding, he wont. Just look at these people that you call, "friends" they're all a bunch of devils. Except Kandi. And I'm not just saying that because she's cute either!
Anyway, Kenya and Brandon left as well. And back in the room Christopher Williams is talking with NeNe and bringing up a great point, that from his point of view. Kenya is a bit of an out of pocket, oddball whore for doing bum bitch stuff like, running around claiming that she knows peoples spouses of 20 years better than they do. And he feels that Kenya just came there looking for trouble to get camera time.
And before that greasy fried chicken looking has been can finish his thought, Kandi, or Little Red Riding Hoodrat as I call her. Stops Chris from speaking to confront Natalie, Christopher's wife, about somethings that she allegedly said about Kandi's fiance and future ex husband, Todd the opportunist! And Kandi wants to know whether or not she actually said that Todd was an opportunist or what!
So, Cynthia tells Kandi that no, of course she didn't say that, and what had happened was. She told Peter and Cynthia that Todd dated her friend Ani, he cheated on her and broke her heart. That Todd was a Hustler, who knew how to swerve, which is a slang term for maneuver or adapt, and finally she said that Todd was always looking for a better situation.
But she never actually used the word "opportunist". She merely gave the dictionary definition of one, however she didn't technically say the word, "opportunist"! LMAO! This is female logic at it's finest. This game play mess is exactly why so many women don't have female friends.
Next thing you know, Cynthia has to jump up in it with her two cents! She could have and should have saved those 2 pennies to put towards a new weave. Bitch looking like a wet scarecrow on TV. and running her mouth! She should have put them lips on Peters big swollen balls! She still hasn't fucked Peter Le Pew! Peter hasn't nutted in so many years that when he drives, his balls rub against the steering wheel! That's why he bought that new car! I mean I saw pictures of this fool jogging on a blog, and he had to hold his balls in a shopping cart. Cynthia's knows that she is dead wrong for not putting it on him!
So when Cynthia is talking with Kandi, Cynthia is moving her hands faster than Apollo, the pick pocket digging in an open purse!
And Kandi let her know that she didn't have to be that extra while talking with her. And Peter walks up to them at about this point. And Cynthia says to Todd that pretty much to sum up the conversation about him. She wanted to be a nosy, messy whore. And Kandi can take it however she wants it! And Peter is confused, he begins asking what in the Smurf is going on.
And the others pretty much told Peter to forget about it. And that the conversation was over. Peter let them know that they were acting strange. And that he will show them strange! He informs the crowd that he has all of the testosterone of humanity housed in 1 ball. Because his wife wont let him bust a nut!
But the others are not concerned. Kandi plays the female card, and begins acting as if Peter is acting in a threatening manner towards her. I swear these big mouthed bitches on this show love to play victim! Bunch of predators I tell you! But they sure will at any moment claim to be being picked on by somebody! Can you say, "full of it"!
Anyway, out of no where, the group are talking and a little bit of shoving went on between the men. And Cynthia's big bootied sister Malorie push Todd like she is part man! I mean she used the power of all of that ass to push little Todd, or toddler as I call him, all the way across the room! And I am left thinking that maybe, just maybe, miss Malorie, who supposedly sleeps with her husband 3 times a day. Snuck off with Peter, Mr. I haven't busted a nut in years. And well, I think that nurse Malorie may have healed Peter!
I mean,anytime a woman will fight for a man that she doesn't even like. Yeah, Cynthia, I hope you know what's going on. And for the record, please don't divorce Peter the skunk. Just tell them that yeah, you know what's going on, and to not use your bed for their fun. I'm just saying.
Anyway, after Malorie strangely strong armed Todd, she pushed Kandi away like she was on a diet! And Kandi went the fuck off! She started screaming stuff like. "Bitch! I'll kill you! I know Kung Fu! And Kung Fu Panda! And Panda Express! I'll swim down to the bottom of the sea while you're snorkeling and shit down your breathing tube! You fucking whooooooooooreee!"
Okay, maybe she didn't say all of that, but she went off!
So, Phaedra , the fat chick of the show, talks with Kandi in the bathroom about what just happened. And Kandi is like cry talking, like when you were kid and your parents gave you that ass whooping that you'll never forget. Kandi was like, "I'll rip that bitches soul out, and fog a window with it! I don't know what that shit means, but it sounds like Fatality on Mortal Kombat!" Okay, she didn't really say that, but that's what I heard.
In our next scene, we visit Kandi's house! She is their with her big bootied best friend and assistant Carmon! Ahem! And Carmon is well, how do I put this. Carmon can just call my Dick curiosity, because I'd, "kill the cat"! For real! Beat that shit to oblivion and hand her neck brace as a parting gift. I wanna smash Carmon to carbon! Just saying!
So, when Kandi and sexy Carmon are talking in the kitchen, Toddler crawls in the room with mud on his shoes, and Kandi tells Carmon the story about what happened from her perspective. And Carmon's facial expression pretty much said, "wow, now if this isn't some foolishness!" "Kandi girl, we, I mean you, are too rich for this!"
So now we visit Cynthia's house. And NeNe and Greg are visiting. And the group are discussing the situation.
Then at Kenya's house, her gay pet Brandon shows up wearing sunglasses because, he has a black eye! Like a dalmatian! In addition to his eye being black, he also has a bruised red rib, and a red jaw! And Kenya feels responsible.
Which she shouldn't , that sissy friend of hers went ballistic and over acted like a big gay tough guy. But guess what punk? The big gay tough guy in the room was Apollo! And sister Apollo was on her period! Brandon, you picked a fight with the wrong bitch, and got your wig snatched! Now run away bald headed and screaming, in shame!
And the funniest part of this scene is a Hidden Jem. I can't be the only one that noticed that the breakfast that Kenya made for Brandon was some eggs! We all know where her eggs went now! On Brandons plate! LMAO!
Anyway, the editors jumped back and forth through the different houses to get different peoples takes on the events that took place. And when Cynthia explains her side of the story, Cynthia, and Nene do a horrible impression of Kandi that night. Cynthia and NeNe are jumping around and waving their arms looking like the wackest white rappers ever! They looked like Eminem and Macklemore conducting an orchestra. But hey, this is the most exercise that NeNe the Moose has had since her stripper days. So I'll give her credit for effort!
So back at Kenya's soon to be foreclosed house. Brandon brought a fake police report to be an overly dramatic twink. Come to find out, Apollo alldgedly crakced his rib. And Brandon says that he will not press charges because he doesn't want Apollo back in jail and away from his children! LMAO! Little did he know that Apollo would be rubbing the log and singing, "it's showtime" from robbing folks just a few months later! I bet that bastard robbed Target for their credit card information too! Nah but seriously. I bet Brandon and Kenya danced and shouted about, "Karma" when they got the news!
Now back at Phedra's house she sits down to talk with Apollo. And he is trying to play victim. He alledges that Brandon hit him, so he just went off. And Phedra is just concerned with public relations and the perception of people.
She doesn't really care about what that white thug that she married thinks. I mean, think about it. She didn't marry a black guy to avoid the bull shit and still ended up with a meat headed loser. We need to go back to old times where the family picks the husband for the woman. Because black women stay losing. She went white and still couldn't go right!
In our next scene, Kandi meets up with Yummy Carmon at "A Mother's Love " Musicals Open Casting Call! And there you go! Kandi's play does have a name! And the "A Mothers Love", staff has only 7 weeks to opening night!
With a casting call in Atlanta. I expect a bunch of Christians and homos to audition! Hell, even kandis judgest panel has 3 sperm burpers, on it! Along side Kandi and Toddler!
And out of the over 400 people that auditioned, kandi only liked 2 people enough to even consider them for the play! And yea, it was a bunch homos and Jesus Jerkers. No wonder they couldn't find any talent! Should have done it in Los Angeles aka Wet back world. Or Jew York City. Hook nose heaven.
In our next scene we visit Porsha Almighty. As she trains her vocal cords at Marvelous Enterprises - Artist Development Center.
And she is running in place, and singing and looking so cute. and the ass is looking extra fat. Praise Porsha, I mean Lort Jebus. (Lord Jesus) I don't know about her singing abilities, she seems to sing better than average but needs some professional help and she will be pretty good. But at least she looks perfect!
Now we take a trip to a spa named, JeJu Sauna and Wellbeing.
So that the lady, Porsha and the tramps can get massages and patch up things after the mega fight.
And yes, those slant eyes got down on their yellow knees to rub bigger foots hooves! Yes, I don't call NeNe the moose big foot, I call her bigger foot! And them fish faced, yellow jackets rubbed the corns and green peas out of her nasty tangled toes. Eww, I bet her feet and butt smell like Moose soup. Nasty fat, bald headed black bitch! I bet she didn't even tip the little squids a penny! I bet she patted them on the head and said, "you know what they say about Chinese bitches, besides their pussies being side ways! They say that Chinese girls are sugar, spice and everything rice!" Then just bowed and ran out of the room screaming, "I'm stealing this robe!" Fucking hoodrat!
Anyway, so now Porsha and her bitches without a leash are sitting around lapping tea out of doggy bowls and talking. And discussing what happened the other day, week or whenever it happened. And Cynthia is still blaming Kandi. And Kandi is explaining to this slore that she was out of pocket for making sign language hand signals all up in her face! Damn right Kandi! Fuck Cynthia! Because it was Cynthia's over the top ridiculousness and Malorie's secret love for Peter that started the second fight!
Cynthia claims that Malorie the nymphomaniac pushed Kandi and Toddler to break things up. And Kandi makes a great point, that Malorie should have if anything held back Peter Le Pew and Cynthia if she was gonna call herself restraining anyone!
So, next thing you know, during the conversation, NeNe and Kenya start arguing their points about what happened. And these whores start yelling like Foxy Brown that time she went deaf! And I just want these hookers to stop!
Porsha brought up another great point, that no one really knows every detail of what happened that night at the couples evet. and they should just drink their tea and change the subject. because too many people aren't owning up to their part of the fiasco, so screw it!
And in a nut shell, nothing gets solved. Porsha is the only adult in the room. Besides Kandi. Who I adore. Anyway, hail Porsha and that fat ass. End of story!
See you next week for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!
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