Basket Ball Wives LA | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Turkish Tea Party | Review | Recap | Opinion

Basket Ball Wives LA | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Turkish Tea Party | Review | Recap | Opinion

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The episode starts out with that fine ass Draya! And she is meeting up with Malaysia, who is an actual Basket Ball Wife! She's married to Jannero Pargo, and plays for those crappy Charlotte bobcats. I know nothing and care nothing about negro ball, but if their is one thing that  I know about black ball, the Knicks and the Bob Cats suck ducks! Anyway, they sit down to have a chat about Jackie's recent event, which aired in episode 1. And the women were yelling at each other like the uncivilized whores that they are!

Anyway, the catty, but cute, little tragic mulatto, Draya, calls Brittish the "chubby girl". LMAO! And this is why no one likes you light skinned bitches! Really? The chubby girl? Wow, hungry bitches stay losing!

So, as Draya is telling Malaysia about the event, she brings up the part where Brittish asked her whether or not she is a hoe! And Draya is gonna go straight to Hell! She told Malaysia that she is not a hoe! God Damn! This is the biggest lie since 911 wasn't an inside job!

My impression of you being a whore is why I like you Draya! Don't ruin the image! Hearing you say no your not a whore was a boner killer! Until I realized that when a girl denies it the way that you did, well. Let's just say this. She's like the Bible, she's been seen in every hotel room in America! But unlike the Bible in a hotel room, she was actually opened!

Anyways, Draya warns Malaysia that Jackie is a sneaky trick that needs to be looked out for. Because now, she has these new recruits in her little group. She said that Jackies new gang is called, "The Jackets"! Because they wear jackets, even in he desert! So, Draya and Malaysia might need to form Ho-tron! You know, Ho Voltron! So she tells her to watch a sisters back! Stay close to walls, and, "stay low and keep firing!"


In our next scene Jackie meets up with Sundy! And Jackie is the wife of retired NBA player Doug Christie of the Los Angeles Lakers!
Anyway, nice to see yet another actual wife. They usually throw whatever black chick is getting the pipe at the moment, on these types of shows.

 Someone needs to tell Sundy that the Winter Olympics are over, because she's wearing skiing Goggles disguised as sunglasses. Anyway, Jackie,tells Sundy that she wants to bring the women together! But she doesn't tell her why.Hmm, Cheddar cheese!

 So, Brandy asked Sundy some personal questions based off of information that she retrieved from the internet. And Sundy wants Brandi to get her internet addicted ass off of Google and get to know her!

So, Sundy says that she meant Draya around 4 years ago in the strip clubs and her name was Miami at the time! So whatever information she gave Jackie about not being an erotic dancer, was in fact not true.
Yeah I knew she was a lying little sneaky whore lol! Draya just has that shifty look to her.

She meant Draya in Philly, where she was on all fours and begging for tips, like a dog! And much hasn't changed! She's still hustling her booty, but in new and more effective ways now!

Jackie is of course pretending to be shocked by this news! She said that she would have payed that sneaky snake a thousand dollars to strip at her wedding party! But Draya told Jackie that she knows nothing about poles (polls).  In fact she doesn't even vote!

But forget all of that! I just wanna know who the lesbians in the background of the scene are! The one in the overalls can get it!


In our next scene, we visit Beverly Hills Health Center, Optima Diagnostic Imaging.

Brandi, who is accompanied by her husband Jason Maxiell of the Orlando Magic, has an appointment to see if she can have her second baby.
She wants a boy, but her husband wants a girl, so he can make her a dyke, spoil her rotten buy her a pick up truck and teach her how to change the oil and tires! And give her a diamond studded dildo. Yes he actually said this!

Before she can give birth to a hermaphrodite, she must first meet with Gynecologic Oncologist, Jennifer Lang! A Medical Doctor, with great hair, that gives me the whore vibe! 

Anyway, that scary looking Dr. lets Malaysia know that the bad news is the tumor marker is notoriously unreliable. In other words, their technology sucks! And she's gonna die! No I'm kidding! She's fine for now. And the risk of recurrence of her tumors is so incredibly low right now.


So don't stress yourself with the thought of getting pregnant with tumors all up in your gut, and the baby coming out looking like it's covered in oatmeal! Then she told her that the only thing she has to worry about health wise is her big dick black husband beating her guts to goo!

After Malaysia gets the clearance from the IBF Dr., Jason can start busting nuts in her again!


So now Jackie, who obviously works for the Illuminati, is promoting more of the gay agenda. It seems like this show is about getting black bitches to fight. And gay people to fuck!  They'll have a "gay wedding" on here in no time. Just you watch! Anyway, she has a GLAAD event coming up! You know, GLAAD. Gay, Lesbian, Annoying, Attention Demandors. Listen up gay people. No one cares that your gay! Their are real problems in the world! But I'll save that for another blog! HA HA!

So Jackie and her gang, "The Jackets" are scouting an expensive hotel to see whether or not it's a good place to have a gay Roman Orgy!

But forget all of that! I just wanna know why Jackie, during her interview confessionals is dressed like an Amish Mormon! Is this Basket Ball Wives or Sister Wives? Just asking!

Brandi, Ariane and Malaysia show up. And after some ugly ass white woman named Misty Mansouri, who looks like a man, shows the chicks the place, they sit down. Outside. Because they're black! And Ariane is still talking about Draya screwing her ex. She claims that her relationship wit him is, "complicated" at this point. Which means that they are fucking! And she caught feelings!

Anyway, Jackie informs the Jackets that they will be helping her with the event whether they like it or not. And the work that she is giving them is assigned as follows. Malaysia is to do the food because shes Anorexic. So she can trust that she wont eat it all up like those greedy heifers would!  She put Brandi on gift bags because she's the only whore there that doesn't steal. And Ariane on Invites because like the equator, her pussy has been around the world! So, she knows everybody and their momma, and their dog too! And the fish. And the....

 In other words. The Jackets do the work, while Jackie kicks back and takes all of the credit! She's using them the same way that she is using the gays! She should of married Todd from Real Housewives of Atlanta!
I


Now Sundy is out with her Daughter Deja and her son Derrick.

And Deja is already annoying me by her appearance alone. You can tell that she's a problem child, just by her retarded hair cut. It's a pony tail on top and shaved on one side. She's destined to be a failed musician. Black Miley Cyrus in the making right here! Just you watch!

Come to find out, Deja ran away from home and was going around suckling the penis! Like mother like daughter! Oh well! Sundy is very young so, she can try again!

Sundy is obviously a basic bitch of a mother because, she tried the weakest psychological manipulation techniques on her daughters mind. She says to her, in so many words, "when she hits the fan. Who are you going to call"

I thought she was gonna say, "Ghost Busters". But she ruined a perfectly set up joke and lied when she told her mother, "I call you". You know because this is TV. and a whore like Sundy needs to have her Cosby moment.

 Deja couldn't handle it working the stroll, so she called up mommy dearest. And now she's back at the crib eating up her cereal. Sundy is waiting for right argument to kick her out!


In the next scene, Jackie meets up with Brittish, to go shopping at Modani.

 Brittish and Jackie feel that Brandy is a trouble maker. And Brittish said that Brandi is outdated, played out, corny. and her weave is whack! Oh and her pussy stinks too!

Brittish is going to throw a Turkish Tea party. A perfect excuse for fat ass to eat. And even though she doesn't really like Brandi, she is reluctantly inviting her to her house. Regardless of the fact that she expects trouble with her!

In our next scene, Draya and Jackie are meeting up and going for a walk.
And Draya is really not feeling the new friends, aka The Jackets!
Her plan is to sit back, watch the fireworks happen, and let the other bitches crash and burn, while she makes smores and roasts weenies on the flames!

Draya is a thinking whore, she is nearly 30 and is ready to stop her whorish ways temporarily, snag her a rich man, then rob him later in divorce court.

 Jackie acts like she is surprised that Draya is pretending to be in love and looking to learn how to settle down with one man. and Draya brings up a great point, if Jackie is on her third husband, and the third time was a charm for her. Then of course it can happen for a cute little thing in her prime like Draya. Who happens to know how to play the game and lie, manipulate, cheat and steal! As matter of fact, her name for the rest of this review is officially Playa!


 Playa feels like a brain new bitch! Her skirts are long, she's wearing panties and she isn't fucking raw at the moment! But the condoms are about to come off, she has a 3 year or less countdown until she announces a pregnancy! She's determined to get that mans money! She is a seasoned Gold Digger!And it's about to go down!

We are meeting up with Brandi and Jason again. And she needs to see the IBF now to make sure she will be able to have some bad kids!


So, they meet up with fertility Specialist Mark Surrey, who looks more like a serial killer than a doctor! Well, then again if he's a doctor. Yeah, I'll stop right there! Anyway!

 Brandi once had Ovarian cancer or, spotted eggs as I call it. And the Dr. had to do some testing to make sure she's okay down there.
And it looks like her ovaries weren't producing enough tissue but, she will most likely be able to have more children.

However the Dr. seems more concerned with her husband and his sperm!
The Dr. wants to play with Jason's balls! He wants to make good and sure that his nuts are pumping the man milk out just right! I bet $10 that when he provides his sperm sample to him, the Dr. takes a sip! They better have cameras up in there!


Draya is now meeting up with Jackie, they have been invited to Brittsh's roof top Hoe down! Extra emphasis on the word, Hoe!

 Jackie feels that Brittish should apologize to Draya, even if she is annoying. But we know that that wont happen! Anyway, Draya feels like this may be a set up. But she's gonna bring her tazer, a bat and a Snoop Dogg CD to listen to on the way. So she will be prepared!



In our next scene, were at the Turkish party.

Brittish's boyfriend has been to a shit load of European places to play Black Ball. So she believes that she is cultured. Her man has played everyone just about. Including, Italy, turkey, Germany, Israel, Sweden and even crappy Russia.


The best part about her silly speech is the fact that, this hood rat, with a bullet wound on her right shoulder! Thinks that by going to these foreign places, that she isn't just cultured, but has superior life experiences to the other women! But in reality.  Over there, in these foreign places, those people know that their culture is a joke! Just look at the water from Soschi! As a matter of fact, since Jackie is a Homo's best friend. Brittish needs to ask her what she thinks about Russia and they way that they are kicking the gays in the ass!

Dumb bitch!

Anyway, as I expected, she had a bunch of pastry out, like these fat girls need more starch! HELL Nah!

 And why did this fat ass dare to show her mid drift like this? When she turned around to walk away, her body had more roles than an Eddie Murphy movie! Brittish needs to change her name to shittish! Because she's shaped like shit! Lumpy and Funky! Damn, that's like 2 of the dwarfs that gang banged Snow White! Lumpy and Funky!

Anyway, so the other whores show up and park it! All except Malaysia and Brandi. And when Playa arrived! Hmm! She looked like absolute divine perfection. And the other girls were hating! Especially that washed up Sundy! I'mma call her Sudsy!

Malaysia and Brandi show up and start greeting the other girls before they say hello to Brittish. And that's Brittish with 2 T's! Anyway, it's her house and they didn't say hi to her first! So, she feels shaded. In her mind, this was about as big of a fail, as her mother at a spelling bee!


So Brittish with two T's does not want to give Playa an apology. End of story! And Brandi asks Brittish, how in the Hell is not okay to ask  Sudsy about her daughter kissing penis's. But it's okay to ask Playa, the Pony about how many men have saddled up on that ass?

Sudsy cuts Brandi off and starts asking her about her Googling her. Then shit hit the fan when she accused Brandi of being a stalker!

Sudsy is a complete idiot. She is an air head. who is attempting to put off the fact that she is a terrible mother. This bird is attempting to deflect the heat from thousands upon thousands of people laughing at her daughter kissing cocks on the internet, by slandering Brandis name by calling her a stalker.

Brittish lets Brandi know that from the moment that they meant, she just knew that she was one of those bitches that she wouldn't like! Kind of like hate at first sight. You know, some people have soul mates. And these two are soul enemies I guess.


Brandi tells Brittish that she's insecure because she's fatter than Raven Symone before she lost the weight. And she looks like a poor version of Nicki Minaj!

And according to Brittish or Shittish, Brandi is the insecure one, because she is walking around with Elegant tattooed on her back in Chinese or Japan! In other words, Nicki Manure over hear doesn't know that they speak Japanese in Japan! But what do you really expect from a woman whose mother spells Brittish with two T's and Iarth (Earth) with an I?


So Brittish tells Brandi that she can take her "nigga" if she wanted him!
Wow! So, one master can steal another slave? I mean, she sounded just like Slave Owner saying this. Anyway, Jason doesn't do fat bitches so, she's *buzzer sound* INCORRECT! She can't take anything, but a spotted ovarian cancer ridden egg in her fat mouth!

So, Sudsy and Brandi get up to leave. And after some more shit talking, Brittish hops up and takes her shoes off! She must have had stilts on underneath her skirt because, she was as tall as Naomi Cambell, and when she took her heels off, she was shorter than Snookie.

And Lord Jesus, even though they came close to pumping fist like the Jersey Shore! They thankfully didn't fight physically!

Thank you white Jesus! Thank you!

And that was pretty much it!

See you soon for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more celebrity news reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! In other words, tell a fucking friend!