Love And Hip Hop New york | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Picture This | Review | Recap | Opinion
At the end of the blog. I will talk about my Amina Buddafly tweet! But first, let's get to this review!
The episode begins where it left off! The fight between Tara the Vampire Slayer and Queen Akasha AKA Amina! And Tara's hands were flying like a butterfly and stinging like a....
bad actress! This fight didn't even look convincing because of all of that slapping. I haven't seen anyone slap someone this much since. E Honda from Street Fighter!
Amina is so crazy, her vampire emotions are causing her to laugh hysterically and raise her hands in a celebration of victory! She got some Vampire scratches in on Tara, so she wont be human too much longer!
Rich Dollaz calls up Peter to cry about how the mayhem and how its bad for business. Yet he was just smiling like a little bitch! And enjoying the altercation. Remember this aspiring artist! Yandy and Rich put up this facade as if they are these business orientated people yet. Rich sleeps with his talent. And Rich and Yandy set people up to slap box. And after it's all said and done, they claim that they are all about business. Watch! Their label is gonna end up like Deathrow! And Olivia is Tupac!
I'm just glad that the scene is over because Yandy's out fit looked like fire and water! Like if Heaven and Hell fought each other. And Hell won! And then to make it worst, her purse looked like a homeless woman's diaper bag!
The next time I see Yandy dressed like somebodies gay grandmother. I am writing a letter to VH1!
Side note. Last week when we saw the fight between Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace. Did anyone notice something about Yandy? Did you peep how Yandy was acting really aggressive towards Amina? It made me think about how when Yandy had beef with Chrissy, she was so scared that she was hoping over tables and running out of clubs to avoid her. And now you wanna be Don King and set up fist fights? I wish when Yandy was grilling Amina at that table, at the Rustik in Brooklyn. I just so wish, that Yandy would have turned around to see that Chrissy was sitting behind her! Cracking her knuckles and smiling!
For the record. Chrissy and Jimmy are such a problem that I had to stop reviewing their show! My reviews were about to get so crazy that I was gonna end up like Somaya Reece's manager, Maurice! On camera, apologizing with some big dude holding my face like grandmother trying to get a kiss! So, before I said something to melt the chocolate chip on Chrissy mouth, I walked away from that show fast! "MAMA JONES" {Nancy Jones voice} Just had to say it!
Anyway!
In the next scene Saigon is having a birthday, pool party. And he has the paternity test results for Erica Jeans son! He sits down with Erica and, of course that baby is his child.
Side note: Saigon's little peach colored button up has a tampon string hanging from the sleeve. He would have removed it, but that goodwill costume would have fallen apart! Thrift shop Saigon! Nothing wrong with it! You can find some good buys there! "I'm gonna pop some tags!"
Is it just me or does this chick Erica Jean's, voice sounds like a deaf person! I guess it's because of that gape in her mouth! Not a gap, but a gape! When you're using pencils for a toothpicks, and shoe strings for floss! You know you have a problem! I can see her now, trying to be cute, nibbling on Saigon's ear. And it when his ear get's caught in that gap...
Nah, but seriously that thing is straw holder for real! Erica Baby mouth Jean! She has 3 rows of teeth! A bottom row, and two on top! One on each side!
I mean, how is your mouth gonna have more space than Tara's apartment? Just saying!
So, Saigon opens up his paternity test results, and it reads, 99.9998% accurate compared to "an untested, unrelated, random individual of the Black population". So that means their is a very small percentage that Brain, or Saigon is isn't the father.
Is anyone honestly surprised that this is his child. I can see. Ahem, similar genetics!
Anyway, Saigon is so happy, that he opened his mouth wider than a gay man at the dentist! Seriously! I'm talking, gay orgasm! Mouth ALL the way open! On some hinge back snake shit! Crocodile mouth mother fucker!
Forget about all of that! Did anybody peep how dirty these New York guys are? Saigon must have wiped, and broke the tissue in his ass! Because he left a big old. Biz, Skid Markie, on his paternity test results!
Anyway the two decide that dating is their best option. Saigon wants to make sure that when they become an official couple, that they will be 100% committed! Yup! Why get divorced later? If Saigon didn't have that corny rap beef with Joe Budden years ago, he could pass that advice to slumber Party Buddens!
Saigon is so happy, he starts screaming to everyone at the party, "the boy is mine!" Which is proof that Saigon spent way too much time in jail! That's something that you say about a new inmate!"The Boy Is Mind! Ha Ha! Brandy and Monica want a royalty check! Something Saigon has never seen!
So. Now that it's official and the baby is yours Saigon. I hope that you're gonna take old rabbit mouth Jewelry shopping to celebrate! I don't know how many beer can tabs it took to make that necklace, but it wasn't worth it! Don't have your babies moms looking like she won the Gold medal in boxing, at the special Olympics! I mean between the missing tooth, the lisp and the necklace! You gotta do better than that son!
She is fine as Hell though!
And here is an exclusive! Come to find out. I read on somebodies blog that Erica Jean is related Micheal's ex girlfriend, Billie! The one he said wasn't his lover. Fooled you, didn't I?
In our next scene, were at Taras apartment, she is outside of the shoe that she lives in. Throwing Peter Gunz belongings on the ground. such as his shoes, which we all know that he needs. She even brings some of his instruments to the tag sale!
It looks like an R&B music video from the 90's. I am just waiting for R Kelly to pop up and piss on them!
Tara's acting is at it's worst in this scene. Her emotions and actions did not match! She calmly yet savagely beats on Peter. I mean, he is covered with all kinds of red marks! This waffle colored, two timing, Earthworm Jim looking mother fucker! Had more red marks on him than Lil Scrappy's homework. And did you peep how red Tara's right eye was? That's what happens when you get scratched by a Vampire! Tara is already looking different!
So after arguing about nothing. Tara goes back into the shoe. And Peter is left outside with his garbage! I mean belongings!
Now we arrive at the GMT Tavern in Greenwich Village NYC.
Yandy and Rich out at a restaurant. And as usual, Rich is having a drink.
Yandy's outfit look like a Peacock committed suicide! Forget a Peacock! It looked like a shit cock! No, "homophobia" intended!
Yandy doesn't want to sign who should have, could have been her flagship artist! She is not concerned with Amina at all at this point! She wants to launch Loreal and Olivia's career. She claims that this is where the money is. And she must be going to run drugs in the tour bus. Because these chicks are tax write offs! They must have signed 360 deals!
Now we are at Rye beach in Rye New York
Erica Mena and Cyn Santana. are looking extra beautiful at the beach.
Erica has a picnic basket! And she looks like Little Red Riding him! I mean Riding Hood! We just need the big bad dehydrated wolf to show up! But we will get to Rich in a minute!
I have to mention that if Erica has no make up on and she looks this good! It's a wrap for all other women. She shut the show down! This is prime pretty girl material. Just saying! So anyway, I am happy to see that she whitened her teeth since the last episode! Either that or she stopped brushing her teeth with eggs!
What I wanna know is, why does Erica, during her confessional shots look like a prettier version of Evelyn from Basket Ball Wives! I will save my head butting jokes for another time!
Erica is strongly considering working with Rich Dollars again. And Cyn does not approve of this! Rich is competition after all! Even if he is a desperate House Husband, Cyn doesn't have money like Dollaz has so cut it out Cyn! Erica will always choose Rich anyone! Because she can control him!
On a side note. For the record. If I ever get married. I am marrying a Latina! Cyn Santana would sell her soul for Chipotle! And if my wallet wasn't as flat as Miley Cyru's ass! I'd buy Cyn and Erica some Chipotle so I could at least suck a toe or something!
Now were at Joe Budden's house.
Tahiry as always, or should I say, ass always! Has a multitude of butt shots! I mean, they took enough shots of her ass to make a calender. Not a monthly calender. but a different butt shot for everyday. Of a leap year! A Leap Year of ass, starring Tahiry!
And I am going to put it all out there right now! Tahiry doesn't even have all that nice of a body! Her butt is big, but it looks like a microwaved marshmallow to me. It's not particularly round and it droops a bit! She needs to workout and get some butt muscle going! Now Erica Mena and Erica Jean on the other hand have great butts!
Anyway, Tahiry and Joe, the new Bobby and Whitney, have their therapist visiting for a session. Derrick K. Watkins makes a visit to , "help" them in a relationship that should have never happened! So after a quick Masonic hand Shake with Joe Budden. Derrick acts like he doesn't see the Rolaids in Budden's left hand! Apparently sleeping around gives Joe heart burn!
Now, it's time to check the Meet Magazine true stories dictionary! Relationship Therapist. Noun: "a Mason aka a trained liar. Who keeps idiots in volatile relationships together, for as long as possible, to profit off of people that should break up immediately!" Wow. I gotta look into my personal dictionary more often!
They are basically discussing that fake scene from last weeks episode where Joe and Tahiry had an argument about some imaginary friend that was rubbing her face on Buddens pillow. In reality, that was Joe Budden after a night of drunken cross dressing. And he fell asleep and tried to hide them pillow cases at the last minute!
All jokes aside. I am going to reveal a man secret to the women. In this scene, if you notice, Joe is acting as if him conversing with a woman in Tahiry's bed with out her consent is completely normal. He is training the stupefied female brain and psyche to understand that she is replaceable. He is warning her. That when she goes on this trip, she is to think about him and what he is doing. To scare her into not cheating. Why you ask?
Because in female logic, her being over there and cheating on Joe, as long as she is drunk, it's a Tuesday, or she has on pink nail polish, means that it "doesn't count". Women are innumerate, or forget count on how many partners they have actually been with. And women do this stupid thing where they claim that cheating, "didn't count" because of something as stupid as wearing pink nail polish when they did it! They also believe that they have the "right" to be schizophrenic, I mean change their mind!
Are all women the same? Absolutely not! Wise men know that their are countries were America women are mocked and laughed at. I mean, the stuff that goes on here is not normal in other places!So I am not talking about all foreign women.
And before I get back to the show. If you are a female and are offended by my opinions, don't watch my videos and don't read my God damned blog! Because it's only going to worst! LMAO!
Tahiry was highly upset by this alleged conversation on Joe Budden's bed.
She's about to crap her leggings. Yada Yada Yada, she is sticking with Joe even through everything that he put her through. Yada Yada Yada. I have no sympathy for her corny storyline. They annoy me, Yada Yada Yada. And I hope that these two dysfunctional adults and their teenaged love story don't return next season!
I'm through with the, "he did me wrong" nonsense. You women want to be done wrong. That's why men ignore what you say, and pay attention to what you do! And this is fact!
In the next scene were at Amina's house with Peter and Amina. And as soon as Peter walks in, he is looking down and looking shady and sheisty! When Peter was in the streets, he was obviously a shooter! When you assassinate a person, you gotta look at the floor so that you don't step on or kick anything and accidentally alert the intended target. And I swear that he's about to off Amina as quietly as possible! Shh!
Amina asks, what kind of evil bitch did she have kids with. and says that Tara punched her in the face.
Peter is making it seem like it's Amina's fought. As deflection works great on women. He is smooth talking the shit out of Amina!
He even makes fun of Amina's fight with Tara and says that he can teach her how to box to avoid being hit! What a jerk! I mean, he is a total jerk! No wonder he has 2 women! Treat women like dirt, and they'll let you lift that skirt!
Now we are at Rashida's apartment in Jersey City, New Jersey.
And Tahiry is visiting. Rashidah is the chick who had red hair last season. The one who looked like Ronald McDonald with a perm. now she has this fake blond hair with orange at the bottom. If Rapunzel used her hair as a dress, and caught her period. Yeah, that's what that mess looks like!
Rashidah wanted Tahiry to help her with her wedding plans. And Tahiry is so selfish that she turned this meeting into a conversation about her and her dysfunctional relationship with Joe Budden!
Rashida invites Tahiry to her event at the South Beach Lounge., she wants Tahiry to come have a drink, preferably a penis colada! I mean a Pina colada!
Tahiry claims that she hates men now. Because you know, Joe Budden is not an individual. He represents all men of course! I mean, when you are a female you can get away with saying stuff like that. Just like Tara can hit Peter. So much for the equality myth!
Anyway, in the next scene, Team fake lesbian, aka Erica and Cyn, are shooting photos for Erica Mena's 2nd book! And Rich shows up and of course his thirsty ass has a drink AS ALWAYS!
Cyn is questioning Rich on how he could give Erica Mena, the "Where do I go from here", record. and then give it to Olivia. The chick who used to be 50 cent's maid.
Rich tells the girls that they have matching tits! And tries to get them to kiss! Wow, such a classy professional Rich! And you're always drinking on the job to boot! No wonder Olivia and Loreal don't have careers after all of this time!
Cyn is pissing Rich off because she feels that Rich did Erica dirty!
Cyn's reaction towards Rich is typical of the new girlfriend in a switch hitter like Erica's situation. Once you go lesbian, the fish goes meddling! Cyn want's to go the whole, I'm the man now route. and try to argue with a man. She's lucky that daddy desperate, AKA Rich didn't throw his drink on her!
He made Erica Mena money without a contract. He did more for her than he had to, and then she went and cheated on him. So Cyn you're cut as a kitten wrestling a plush mouse. But you have to take a seat on this one! Sorry pretty girl!
What you needed to see in this scene is that big ass vein in Erica Mena's forehead! Jesus! It's huge! That's what she said! Anyway, that big vein in Erica's forehead tells me something. That she cums real hard! She's probably a projectile squirter!
So, now were at Club Fit in New Jersey
Saigon, Peter and Rich are pretending to work out.
Peter lets the guys know that he is married to Amina, and Saigon started telling polyamory and Mormon jokes. Thanks Saigon. I covered that in earlier reviews.
Saigon, an ex Felon who once punched Prodigy of Mobb Deep on stage, felt right at home in the gym. It was just like jail, a guy wearing orange standing behind him, doing barbell curls with an erection!
Anyway, this scene was all about Peter the creep, updating Saigon on the stupid things he's been doing. And Saigon giving him the horrible advice of patching things up with psycho Tara. The Tara rist! (terrorist)
Now we are at South Beach in Washington heights.
Cyn and Erica walk in and out of no where, a big weave walrus named Rashida Ali comes up from behind! And slaps Erica Mena's tight ass! And I almost threw up. I wont eat before reviewing again.
Erica is telling Cyn about how Peter Gunz was trying to get Rich to cut ties with her. And Cyn is ready strangle Rich with her legs!
Tahiry, and Rashida pop up and Tahira tells to the Latina Lesbians that she has never even kissed a woman! Which is a lie. Because when Rashidah invited her to this get together. They kissed! Just goes to show you that Tahiry is untrustworthy!
Anyway, out of nowhere, Skin Head, Nya Lee pops up and in no time, she says something extremely ethnically sensitive. She first strikes with a jab, by claiming that she is probably the only chick there that hasn't fucked Joe Budden. Then, she throws a powerful hook punch by saying "Spanish bitches is crazy, y'all like sharing dick!".
Tahiry lets her know that she violated big time. and Erica snatches up Tahiry and walks away from the man with candle wax on his breast. Nya could have gotten jumped for saying this to the 3 Spanish women standing there.
Nya is known for a nightclub stabbing that she almost didn't survive. You know, the one that she got her war wounds from! I'd like to think that she'd want to be a bit more careful than this! Anyway, Nya apologizes to Tahiry, and of course Tahiry is dumb enough to fall for her apology. No worries. Nya will be arguing with someone else soon! How else would she get air time?
In our next scene, Erica pops up at Blue Flame Agency in Midtown NYC
to see Rich Dollaz. And yes Rich has a drink! His office is full of apples and liquid. No kidding!. Anyway, Erica doesn't want her new man, Cynthia to fuck up her money with Rich Dollaz. Erica does the smart thing and brings in the old contract that Rich wanted her to sign. And she pretend signed it! If you look at it closely, the signature lines have not be signed at all! So we know for sure that the show is scripted!
Anyway, Erica is once again wearing Jeans that make her ass look she's wearing a shitty diaper! If you need a fashion stylist, just let me know Erica!
Now we are with Tara at her shoe! And that box is so small, that she can't fit a coffee table in it. So she has to sit her drink on Peters old bed! AKA her couch! Now his bed is all wet and what not! And she is looking at some video online of Amina and Peter, a married couple, playing golf at the same place that he used to take her!
She flips out like a psychopathic homicidal maniac, and begins destroying Peters stuff like Lisa Left Eye Lopez! I thought she was gonna set that shoe on fire like athletes foot! She cut his guitar strings (which are easy and cheap to replace) she destroyed his drums. And his clothing etc. And she is so psychotic that she was at one point, cutting his drums with her scissors, while holding them by the blade! While they were open!
She couldn't go get a knife? She had to risk cutting herself just to hurt him?
The funny thing about it is, she used to work at Sam Ash, which is a music store. So he was probably using her for employee discount!
You see why Amina is the one I would have married?
Anyway, Peter gets a text message saying that his belongings have been destroyed. When he arrives, he says that Tara's erratic behavior is what drove him to marry another woman!
Come to find out, he sleeps on the couch and Tara was allegedly not being intimate with him. Probably because of them feet! Anywhere he sleeps gets turned into a welcome mat. I wouldn't be surprised if the real reason that Budden had to change his sheets is because Peter slept over. Peter at the foot! And Joe at the head! And Peter coal minter Pankey stunk up and blackened that pillow case! Forcing Joe Grimey Budden to have to change the sheets! Just my observation!
Anyway, Tara's whoa is me confessionals are so boring. No one is on your side Tara. You should have broken up a long time ago. You like being in this mess!
Besides, Peter said that their are 2 sides to every story, so maybe Tara cheated on him at some point in their relationship! As hard as she is going on him, I wouldn't be surprised.
After some more arguing. Tara let Peter know that she doesn't want to see him for a while. So I guess that while, is until the next school day when its time to pick up and drop off the kids.
Peter walks out telling her that he loves her! Yada Yada Yada, that was about it!
1 more thing before I go!
I sent my favorite Vampire a tweet saying, "I'm team
And she tweeted me back saying, "
Now, if you notice, she spelled thanks with two n's and an X.
I have a theory, that I have had for years now. And that is, women who are bad at spelling are generally more faithful and loyal. YEAH! I sure can pick em!
Anyway, comment and subscribe to my YouTube channel!
