Dancing with the stars recap! SEASON 17 EPISODE 1! Miley Cyrus TWERK with Leah Remini?

Dancing with the stars recap! SEASON 17 EPISODE 1! Miley Cyrus TWERK with Leah Remini?

First up, is Pretty Little Liars star, Brant Daughtery. His dancing partner, Peta Murgatroyd began flirting with him starting at day one! She made sure to tell him that she is single. And luckily for her, so is he!

Brant Daugherty & Peta Murgatroyd did the Cha cha cha.
They danced to "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell Williams.

In my opinion, he did okay, not great but not terribly. I see some signs of potential in his dancing skills however, she was the real star here and made him look good. I felt that their routine deserved an 18. But the Judges rewarded him with a vote of 22.

Carrie Ann Inaba - gave a 7
Len Goodman - gave an 8
Bruno Tonioli - gave a 7
                                  _______
                                     22





The second duo is one of my favorite celebrities, Leah Remini. The King of Queens star expressed her insecurities about her weight and her concern with looking good on the dance floor. With an intense dance work out like this, she'll probably shed a few pounds!

Her dance partner Tony Dovolani, assures her that she is doing good and that she needs to stop judging herself.

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani danced the Foxtrot to the song “Tears Dry On Their Own” by the legendary Amy Winehouse.

I felt that their performance was okay, just passing grade at best. I felt that she deserved a 15. The judges all gave her 7's for a total score of 21.

Bruno stated that Leah Remini should twerk like Miley Cyrus! I'd love to see that! She has an ample amount of booty meat, unlike Miley Cyrus. Who looks like she went on a butt diet! ..... moving along.




The third contestant to hit the dance floor is High School Musical star, 
 Corbin Bleu! As soon as Corbin and his partner, Karina Smirnoff lays eyes on each other, they almost needed to get a room! They were one compliment, and one touch away from making a baby! No shit!

Corbin tells Karina, "I wanted you so bad". The feeling is mutual, Karina says, "Corbin has been my dream partner for a while because I've seen some of his movies before and he's such a class act."

The two hit the dance floor for Karina's first contemporary dance song “If I Lose Myself” by  One Republic

The duo danced very well. Not perfect, but good enough to show me that Corbin should make it to the final three with no problem! And at this point, should win the whole contest! I gave them a score of 23. Deducting 1 point because Corbin performed a lift where he struggled to hold Karina up in the air. Other than than that, I'd say that he deserved a 24, and the judges concur! Corbin and Karina earn a score of 24 points! Which puts them in the lead on the score board!




The forth has been, I mean star to make a fool himself, I mean perform is Ozzy Osbourne's son. Jack Osbourne. Jacks sister, Kelly Osbourne, placed third in season 9 of Dancing with the Stars.

Jack informs us that in May of 2012, he was diagnosed with  Multiple Sclerosis.
And Dancing With The Stars should be called, Sympathy votes for disease ridden Stars. We'll get back to that in a minute.

Jack Osbourne & his partner Cheryl Burke danced a Foxtrot to the song “Pack Up” by Eliza Doolittle.

 Jacks dancing looked like he was counting every single step in his head as he performed. He had a big goofy, annoying smile on his face. He honestly, looked like a child dancing with his mother at her wedding, to his step father. And he looked like his mother told him to do it!


Deserved a 16 in my opinion, but the judges gave him a 23

Carrie Ann Inaba - gave a 8
Len Goodman - gave an 8
Bruno Tonioli - gave a 7
                                  _______
                                     23


Yeah, they gave Jack Osbourne a 23! Every one of those judges need to either quit, or be fired immediately. More on that later.









The fifth person up is Glee star Amber Riley. And she is built physically like Precious star (Gabourey Sidibe) yet, she dances like Beyonce! No kidding!

Amber Riley & Derek Hough danced a Cha cha cha to the song “Wings” by Little Mix. And it was fantastic! She dances like a professional. Might have something to do with the choreography that she does on the hit show "Glee" on FOX!

I felt that she deserved a score of 27. And the judges concurred! Amber Riley received a well deserved score of 27! It looks like Corbin Bleu has some competition!



The 6th celebrity up tonight is Elizabeth Berkly, is best known for two things. The hit TV. show Saved By The Bell. And for her misscariage of a career ending film, American cinemas biggest joke, Showgirls! This is Elizabeth's big chance to reintroduce herself to America and reddem herself in the eyes of her fans.

Elizabeth grew up being a dancer so, she has a good chance at making it far in this competition. She said that she is a new mom, and in so many words, she is inspired to do knew things.

I hope that this is not some mid life crisis for her. She has an intense look in her eyes, like the one that a awoman gets when her husband doesn't want her to do something, but yet she does it anyway. I hope that this list of new things doesn't include her leaving hubby for a thrill with Valentine. She has fire in her eyes!
Anyway....

Her Russian partner Valentine claims to have learned English by watching Saved By The Bell.  Valentine informs Elizabeth that he had a mega crush on her Saved by The Bell Co star- Tiffani Amber Thiessen. I'm not sure if whether or not he was trying to be a jerk, or if this was a Russian Jedi Mind Trick to get into her mind. Anyway....


Elizabeth Berkley Lauren & Valentin Chmerkovskiy danced a Contemporary to the song “Imagine” by  John Lennon.

She looked just a tad bit rust, but I can see major potential in her dancing abilities. And I can also see her previous dancing experience in her movements!
But this performance was pretty good, so I felt that she deserved a 21. The coaches gave her a score of 24.




Our 7th Z. List celebrity Is a legend in television programming for children!
Nowadays, he is just a creepy crawler! Someone must have told Billy that their would be twerking on Dancing With The Stars! Because he had nothing but fucking on his mind! He was hitting on Tyne like she was trapped in ice! Calling her, "hot" and just giving her dirty looks!

Ewww, anyway....


Bill Nye & Tyne Stecklein danced a Cha-cha-cha to the song “Weird Science” by Oingo Boingo.

Bills foot work, looked about as clumsy as a basketball center, giving himself a foot job wearing cleats! He really looked like the poster boy for Awkward Perverts anonymous!  Not only did his dancing suck, and it's obvious that the clueless Andy Dick of the season should be voted off. But, he is such a creespter! He constantly has this look n his face like, he just got caught standing outside of a woman's window Jerking off! During a thunderstorm! Hard and fast!

Anyway! Bill Nye deserved a 12 in my opinion. But her recieved a score of 14.
With a 5 from Carrie Ann, a 5 from Bruno, and a 4 from Len.




Our 8th Dancing celebrity is former NFL wide receiver, and commentator Keyshaw Johnson.

Keyshawn Johnson & Sharna Burgess danced a Cha-cha-cha to the song “Treasure” by Bruno Mars


His performance was okay. He did well for a big guy! I mean he is a tall, and stocky guy, and he was kind of able to get around on the floor considering!
His performance was okay, not good nor bad. I was some potential and I wanted for him to receive a 19 or 20. The judges gave him 17. Keyshawn received a 6 from Carrie Ann, A 6 from Bruno and a 5 from Len.



Nick Cannons ex girlfriend Christina Millian is the 9th celebrity to get down like it's Friday! And she's come a long way form her "Dip It Low" days. {video posted below} Back in the day she was dropping it like it's hot, burning, and discharging!

Christina Milian & Mark Ballas danced a Contemporary to the song “Clarity” by Zedd feat. Foxes

The performance was robust, expressive, intense, and juicy! Just like her tight ass! She is definetly a comepitor to look out for! She is final 4 material! the chemistry between her and Mark is burning so hot, you can feel it through the screen! Bravo! With your tight ass! She deserved a 24. Howver the judges gave her a score of 22.  7 from Carrie Ann, 7 from Len and an 8 from Bruno.



Bill Engvall, the 10th dancer, aspires to be the "King of the Rednecks!"
But his day job as a comedian probably looks much better on paper!

Bill Engvall & Emma Slater danced a Foxtrot to the song “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer

His performance was decent. Not terrible, yet not good. I'd give him an 18 and the judges concur. Bill got an 18.







Our 11th celebrity,  Mary Tyler Moore star, Valerie Harper, informs us that she has Terminal cancer! The doctors told her that she had 3 months to live and she is still alive, kicking and dancing 8 to 9 months later.



Valerie Harper & Tristan MacManus danced a Foxtrot to the song “Some Kind of Wonderful” by The Drifters


And it sucked! She deserved a 15, they gave her a score of 21. Because 7 is the highest that they could go without backlash! What an insult! But I'll get back to that in a minute!




Our 12th celebrity to perform and the last of the night. Is my adorable little fake Italian, real Chilean Princess! Nicole "Snookie" Polizzi! The 4'9" tall Jersey Shore star lost 50 lb.s in 6 months! And she looks great!

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi & Sasha Farber danced a Cha-cha-cha to the song “Wild Ones” by Flo Rida feat. Sia

And they did well. It was a fun and exciting performance and I felt that she deserved a 24. The judges gave her a 23! Carrie Ann, and Len gave her 8's and Bruno gave her a puny little 7! And his score leads me to say this!



The judges fake scores, blatantly rigging the contest in our faces is an insult the art of dance! As well as an insult to the celebrities intelligence. It's down right disgusting that these 3 hacks for judges still have their jobs!


Will we have a repeat of last year? The last Disney star who was a  mulatto was robbed! BIG TIME! Yes I'm talking about Zendaya Coleman! I just hope that the judges and America don't do to Corbin Bleu what they did to Zendaya. And that's robbing him!

Zendaya not being crown the winner of season 16 of Dancing witht he Stars was an insult to dance, to ABC, to all Professional dancers, to the fans and of course to Zendaya. She worked her ass off! And out dance everyone! She was so good that she out danced herself!

Anyway. Just me two cents. Let me know what you think!