Basketball Wives LA Season 3 Episode 6 | Review | Recap | Opinion

Basketball Wives LA Season 3 Episode 6 | Review | Recap | Opinion

 

The episode starts out where we left off last week. Draya and Malaysia are arriving at the Palm Springs house. And the ladies are dressed in tiny little shorts and Reebok's. You know! The old school THOT uniform! Some things never change! Don't get me wrong! I hate the word THOT, OR, "That Hoe Over There".

But Draya is Queen, THOT, Goddess Thot! Empress Thot! Anyway Draya must perform magic shows! Because Harry Thotter, was making her shorts disapear! All the way up her Deep Space ass!


So, they come in the house drunk yet are still drinking! And they're hugging everybody and stumbling around!

And from the beginning of the show, the conversation was good! Malaysia starts calling out Jackie for being the leader of the Jackets Gang! And she said that she's happy that Lil B, AKA Brittish, with 2 T's AKA Chub Rock, didn't show up!

So Jackie asks a drunk Draya, "whats popping ma! Why the long face?"
And Draya tells her the truth, sucking dick elongates the face! So cut a girl some slack!

Then, Sundy told Draya that she looks like she doesn't want to be there. And that she can leave if she's miserable.

And here is where the action begins!

Malaysia has to feed all of that booty meat! So, the pretty girl is eating some delicious fruits! Sundy takes the platter of fruit from Malaysia, because the Chef, presumably Raekwon., did not wash the grapes.

As Sundy is walking towards the kitchen. Draya says that Sundy can get her ratchet ass on.

Now, Sundy didn't even hear draya saying this, Yet Jackie being the sneaky, manipulative snake queen that she is. Freakin' Madam Medusa decided that she was gonna repeat Draya's words to make sure her tiny, little, wannabe thug Sundy, heard it loud and clear!


Now Sundy and Draya start arguing over Draya calling her "ratchet".
When out of no where, Sundy calls Draya "Miami"! Which is Draya's old stripper name!
And  of course crazy Jackie pretends to be so surprised to hear Sundy calling her that!
I mean she only told her the day before, that she was going to do so!

Anyway! Sundy said that Draya was begging for tips, crawling on all four. And all she gave that THOT was a smack on the booty!

Then Sundy had the whore-dacity, yes the audacity of a whore, to say that Draya was fucking 2 of her friends in a Limo! Getting Shish kabobed!! And Draya threw out a crazy ho-ism saying. She was, like "Mama always said, if you stick your face in the hornets nest, you're gonna get stung from every direction!, So I stuck my whole body in it!"

WHORE!

Then, Draya told Sundy that no one is claiming her baby, in other words, your child is a bastard!

And she needs to take her ghetto baby doll looking ass home and figure out who her babies daddy is!

Then the conversation went to Hell! It really got so much worse! Sundy went in on Draya's fruity son! She pretty much called the boy a flaming faggot!

She said that while her own children, (you know, her penis sucking  daughter and her son who has a tattoo on his throat) go to private school. Drayas faggot son plays with privates! 
Then Sundy AKA Mr's accordion neck, told draya that she needs to introduce him to something other than her looks!

Because the little boy is obviously gonna grow up to have an asshole so big , when he farts it sounds like a tug boat! Because he wants to dress up as Peter pansy (Peter Pan) every Halloween. And he  and was walking in heels, when he was in his walker!

And his first food was lipstick. and his first word was, "balls"!
She then went on to say that if Draya wants the drama. I mean, if she's feeling froggy. Then leap!

Just like her gay son leaps on dicks!

And Draya sure did flap her damn wings and hover over that sofa! These hoes started Kung Fu fighting! *Hu!* And it looked like a scene from that movie, The Birds!

They were scratching and squawking and their feathers were everywhere! Somebody should have distracted Draya by throwing a worm in her beak! And when I say worm, I mean PENIS!

 Draya, who looks like Olive Oil. Must have been eating her Spinach! Because she gave Sundy a Pop eye!

She gave her more hits than a Black Eyed Peas concert! Come to think about it.
It sounded like a Black Eyed Pears Concert!

Because Sundy told Draya, "Let's get it started in here!" Draya hit Sundy with the "Boom Boom Pow!" and Sundy held her eye and said, "My Humps"! And everybody started singing "Where is the love"?"

Anyway! After production breaks up the bird fight.

Jackie starts pretending to not know what the hell is going on. And shes questioning Draya about it! Allegedly, Jackie was distracted. You see, she was multi tasking. She was eating an orange and cleaning the dirt from between the roles in her neck!

Draya tells Jackie that her gay son is a sensitive subject! You see, one time she caught him eating spaghetti and Pete's balls! Yes, not meat balls, but Pete's balls!

Anyway Draya starts screaming to Jackie that she's, "tired of the shit!" Jackie thought she was talking about defending herself and the fact that she is a mega slut. But nah! She was talking about being tired of the  whorrors (horrors) of anal sex! Her past as anal hooker, has her shorts crawling all up in her ass!

And Jackie was like, "Damn girl! I thought that I had problems!

So, out of no where. Schizophrenic Jackie starts crying about her daughter hating her.
Which made Malaysia cry. And just like Draya's worn out asshole, this scene is a mess!
These girls need Jesus! And Draya needs a diaper!


But, I got the greatest laugh ever from watching this scene! Psycho Jackie was on a role with her deflecting, self pitying speech about her daughter when, she out of no where told the biggest lie of all time! She said that Draya is a, "great mother"!

Then she freaked out when she realized that she's going to Hell for lying like that! So she told Malaysia to talk to Draya. Then she ran out of the room to go find Sundy. And here is where the episode got ugly! And very disturbing.

At first Sundy is brushing her hair in the mirror and talking about fighting with draya again. She wants a rematch!

But she needs to stop while she's behind. You see, Sundy is standing up there looking like a panda,. Because she has 1 black eye.

 Jackie is so disgusted by Sundys eye that she sat down because the sight of her eye nearly made her pass out. She, then proceeded to hold her own eye. And began begging for forgiveness from White Jesus!

Jackie first covered her eyes, then her mouth, then her ears, see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil! LMAO! Yeah Jackie! That's gonna work!

 So, Jackie tells Sundy that maybe she should leave the show! You know so her man can buy her a bag!

And Sundy was like, "Aint nobody thinking about shopping for a Ver-saki (versace) bag!

Jackie was like, "no bish! I'm talking a bag of ice! Your leye looks like a vagina after a gang bang movie!"

Sundy tried to play it off big time! She was like, "Oh! It's cool! I had an Eye appointment anyway!"

 And Jacke was like.
"Baby!  You don't need an eye doctor, you need a surgeon! But if Jesus can turn water to wine. I am sure that the Dr.s can pop your hanging, dangling eye back in your head! Even if you do look like a paddle ball!"

So Jackie comes back to where Draya and Malaysia are in the living room area.
Everyone is crying, and there's so much estrogen in this scene, I started growing breast! And yes! I can suck my own tittie!

"Put it in a video!" - G Dep lyric!

So Draya tells Jackie that if she was a real friend she wouldn't have told her about Chantel sucking Orlando off in front of the world. She would have pulled her to the side like a decent human being!

Then she jumped up, yanked her shorts out of that open tunnel of an ass and said, I gotta tell you something privately! And they ran off....

And I'm left thinking. Man, them shorts stay coming for the crack, like Whitney Houston!

We'll get back to that in a minute. First we have to see what Brittish is up to!


In the next scene, Brittish is talking with Lorenzo on webcam.

Come to find out, Lorenzo didn't sign the official deal to play basketball in Germany. He went to practice and their was nothing but young players there. The coach greeted him with a, "dry hi". Or as white folks would say, "a hello with no enthusiasm"!

And just like his fat girlfriend Brittish, Lorenzo hates dry Hi's!

So he started fighting with he coach! And got himself kicked off of  the team.
Of course he made it seem as if it was his decision to leave.
In reality, he was escorted out of the locker room butt naked, beaten and deported!
So he will be home the next day from Germany.



Now we're back at the house, and draya is still pulling her shorts out of her ass!
She's really regretting all of that anal sex that she had in her younger more productive years as a whore Lord! Yes! A whore warlord!  In fact, in that movie 300, when dude kicked home boy in that hole, yelling THIS IS SPARTA!! That hole was rumored to be Draya's ass!

Anyway! Draya pulled Jackie to the side to talk with her. She said that she's still upset with her sponsor, Orlando. For lying to her about talking to and meeting with Jackie's daughter, Chantel!

And the story goes as follows. According to Orlando's story to Draya!

Allegedly, Orlando was hooked up with Chantel through a friend from college, they talked by sending text messages for maybe 2 or 3 days. She came to his house and when he meant her in person. She looked nothing like her pictures!

He should have known something was wrong when she only sent a shot of her face! No body! Fat bitch style!

Anyway! Chantel is allgedly not a hoe because she "only" slept with 2 people in her very short life time!

Hoes nowadays! I swear to fucking God! Only 2 people?
And she's what 20? I guess when she is 40 she will be saying "only" 40 people have occupied this space!

Anyway! Orlando wasn't feeling the fat girl and he passed up on it.
But, she was invited to his friends party. She flew herself to Seattle. And when she got there, she slept with his friend, not with Orlando, just his friend!

And you know what? Remember when Jackie showed Draya those texts messages  from Orlando in the third episode? All that this proves is that Chantel saves her text messages for over 6 months! And you see why I don't text with bitches like that? Looks like Chantel and her mammy are home wrecking harlots! With old necks!

I swear man! Bitches will abort a baby and save a text in a second!
My my my! How women's priorities have changed! It's a Brave New World!

Anyway, Draya feels that Sundy is judging her about being a slut, a bad mother, a bad wiper after taking  number 2's and all of her other bad qualities.

So Jackie calls Sundy to come and talk with them. And Sundy comes in the room with a drink in her hand. And bam! She throws it right into the center of Draya's face!
The only reason Sundy had such a good aim is because, just like shooting, when you aim, you keep one eye closed! And Sundy is looking like her name should be Eye's Wide Shut!
That eye is bigger and redder than Clifford the dog!

So Draya jumps up, and after a quick little scuffle. Malaysia and Draya are drying Draya's face off together. And I'm left thinking. If this was the lesbian orgy that it should have been. None of this would have happened! They should have been fisting vagina's instead of each other faces!


In the next scene, Brittish is on the phone with her sister Brianna and she has on a tacky black hat with little pieces of aluminum foil on it. I bet there's Hershey Kisses in there! Must be snack time for the Chubby chick!

So, Lorenzo shows up. And he said that the German team wanted him to play center, but he plays forward. Yada yada yada! Blah blah blah! So!

Lorenzo is gonna get together with Doug again, work out, and lose some of that fat! And he might go on The Biggest Loser to make some money seeing that he aint got no job right about now!


Now we're back at the house with the girls!

Sundy is outside talking with Jackie, about how this is the first time a member of the Jackets Gang got their ass whooped! So they are both shocked! All of them Black Belts in Cunt-rate! (Cunt Karate)

And she still couldn't choke the chicken. And when I say "chicken", I'm talking about Draya!
Jackie wants the pigeons to talk their problems out.

They go back into the house so that Sundy can get her bathing suit.
Draya is making fun of Sundy calling her names, and she has the other girls cracking up laughing! She's saying stuff like. "Why is her name Sundy? With that black eye, she needs to change her name to Eclipse!"

Then Malaysia said, "at least she'll never have to buy eye shadow again!"
Brandi said, "Wait! When she walks by again somebody ask her. How many fingers am I holding up?"

After some more lewd and uncalled for jokes. Draya ape is eating a banana looking like an albino monkey!

And the other girls are giving her that look like, "Girl! You stay putting bananas in your mouth!"

Now Draya, Malaysia, Jackie and Eclipse, aka Sundy are all out by the pool.
They're trying to figure out whose wrong in this situation. And Draya hit the nail on the head! She's doing all type of hitting this episode, I swear! Anyway, Floyd Drayweather said that they are both at fault.

At first Jackie blames fine ass Malaysia for laughing.
Then Jackie blames that fine ass Brandi for not breaking up the fight because she's wearing a striped referee dress. And she said that Brandi was texting Ray-J at the time. And trying to be funny by playing, "I hit it first" on her Iphone when the fight was going on! Then she blamed Sundy for yelling, "World Star!" Until she realized that it was her getting the knocked the fuck out!

After a little laughter. Sundy announces that she is going to be getting in the pool soon.
Draya gets up to go get a drink and those poor shorts must look like a full diaper in the inside. Because they found their way up her ass again!


Draya comes back with 2 drinks! One for her and 1 for Sundy! And she sniffs Sundys drink before giving it to her! After a quicky sniff, *sniff* she pulled her head away from it fast! Yep, she pissed in it!

And then, of course Draya had to yank out another wedgie!

Jackie, sits her old barbecued rib looking neck ass up there and asks the girls about playing Spin the Bottle!  Draya says that she doesn't play Spin the Bottle. But she can recycle a bottle with her vagina. so Jackie says, "baby, we'll do that another time!"

And Draya tells Jackie that she is a poor sport and a fake lesbian!

Brandi asked Jackie if her and Doug have ever had threesomes and she said no, but they have thought about doing it with Brandi, and they were thinking about recruiting Malaysia.

And with that said,  this is what I was saying in my previous reviews. Jackie and her Husband Doug are some swinging, sex party throwing, orgy loving freaks! She probably thought that she was about to get her cat cooked that night. But a fight happened instead! I bet she slept on that big bed with Sundy though!

Anyway! Malaysia Airplane fly's away when she finds out that rubber neck and her bald headed husband wanted to smash! Oh well! She can always continue to try to smooth over Brittish!

Anyway! Sundy, AKA Shadow Eye hops in the pool!

Draya's all like, Sundy is too old to be running around hopping in pools like young slut. She might break something!

Then, Sundy strips off her clothing and gets bucked naked! And when she threw her bra at Draya, Bird Girl almost flew over there and ate her out! Yeah! They want each other! You can see it in all 3 eyes of these girls eyes.


So Sundy gets her cute self in the pool and Jackie was looking at her like her ass was a juicy steak!

When Sundy gets out of  the pool, Draya smacks the booty and tries to rip the towel off of her!  But she's too drunk to get a good grip! Jackie on the other hand isn't so tipsy! So she pulled the towel And now Sundy's nickname is officially, Full Moon! Anyway, she ran into the house naked!

Jackie says "let's go" eat, and then the rest of the lesbians in training go inside.

While in the house. Jackie asks whether or not the ladies miss Brittish.

And they all say, "hell no, fuck that fat bitch!" And start talking about her feet stinking and all sorts of other things that I wont mention!

Sundy asked Draya if she is mad and Draya said,  "Looky here Illuminati! Keep my gay sons name out of your mouth! Before I take a shot at your good eye and smash your eye ball to an eye blob! I would hit your bad eye right now but I don't wanna get pink eye! That shit looks contagious!" *WOOF!*"

"Besides! How are you gonna be one to talk when your daughter was roaming the streets as a runaway, hungry, with nothing to eat but dicks and peppermint sticks! And her Sex Tape is gonna be titled, "I did porn because, Mama only kept 1 eye on me!"

Sundy whose sitting up there looking like a battered woman is through with getting her butt whooped! Now, instead of them fighting, she would like to work with Draya!
Who would thunk it?

And I guess her aspirin wore off because, Sundy started crying! And yes, out of both eyes!

And I start lactating! This is just too much estrogen for me!


But two face, I mean Sundy! Brought up a great point when she said that bitches like them need to grow up and calm the fuck down. Becomes their bones are too old to be fighting,
But it's their fault for signing up for a stupid reality tv show where they knew that someone would lose an eye. She just didn't know that it would be her. And she should have never laughed at all of those other people she watched on television while screaming, "That will never be me! HA HA HA!" And her favorite line, "I wish a bitch would!"

Well, a bitch did!


So, it's the next day. and the women are in a sitting area.
Draya didn't sleep well with her broken fist! She has been up since 5AM! Yes! Rooster time! She was waking the other women up with her Cocka Doo Doo Doo calls! Not just because she looks like a rooster. But because she misses all of that life altering, butt hole damaging, anal sex! Cocka Doo Doo Doo!

Nasty Whore!

Anyway, that quick little fight allegedly made Draya's whole body hurt.

And I'm left asking myself this! She can famously do triple anal, yes take 3 dicks in the butt at the same damn time. Yet punching some bitch who looks like a squirrel, with a telephone cord neck, hurts her body all over?

I'm calling bull shit!

Sundy walks into the room with eye looking like an 8 ball!
And Draya is still bragging about it! So, Apparently, neglecting her fruity son and Worshiping the penis aren't the only things Draya is great at! She can also brag about beating up an "old woman!"

Hey! Draya called her old, not me!

Malaysia figured that without Brittish being there. Their wouldn't be any beef. Then she said that Sundy needs to watch her mouth, with her good eye of course!

Draya said that Sundy needs to stop saying what she thinks. Keep her comments to herself. Because she will, "pluck your good eye out, play ping pong with it. Then everybody is gonna call you Sun -Ray Charles! Aight? (Alright)"

Sundy feels like this, we can be cool or not, who cares?

And with that said, Draya hops up looking like a million monopoly dollars, and says "deuces"
and by deuces, iI mean 2 middle fingers! So, she gets her sexy self up and leaves!

Jackie is still riding with the Jackets. She says that Draya is playing the blame game and this fiasco is Draya's fault!

Umm, yeah sure Jackie! You just blamed Malaysia and Brandi last night!
 You're a master at deflection!

Anyway! Brandi come to find out is not friends with Draya. They are just acquaintances!
You gotta earn Brandi's freindship, if she's gonna be down with you! But we'll find out more about that next week.



And that was pretty much it for this episode!
See you next time for the next review. And don't forget to comment below and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more Reality TV. news, reviews, recaps, and opinions! And if you likey, share the video on Facebook, Twitter, Goggle Plus, MySpace, or 2 cans with a string in the middle! Or even Telepathically! (ILLUMINATI!) In other words, tell a fucking friend!

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